Oct 12 2009 WTF Is That?!?: A Frozen Blood Head
Let's cut right to the questionable chase: this is a sculpture (or mold) of artist Marc Quinn's head made from 4.5 liters of his own frozen blood. Really gets you in that Halloween spirit, doesn't it? No, not so much.
The blood is taken from this own body over a period of five months. The work is then repeated every five years to establish a unique record of the artist aging.
Now I'm not here to judge art, but that seems pretty sick. Plus, what if the power goes out on your freezer while you're away on vacation? How do you explain the 4.5 liter bloodstain in your garage? You hunt deer. That was a freebie -- next time, you owe me.
Creepy And Disgusting "Self" Art By Equally Creepy Artist Marc Quinn [youbentmywookie]
Thanks to eric, who once made a head out of frozen orange juice concentrate. It was delicious.
May 15 2009 Oldest Human Sculpture Found In Germany
What you're looking at is believed to be the oldest sculpture of a human found to date, and was carved out of a mammoth's tusk. That's right, mammoth -- the very same mount Jesus used to ride into battle. Wow!
The distorted object, which portrays a woman with huge breasts, big buttocks and exaggerated genitals, is thought to be at least 35,000 years old.
The 6cm-tall figurine, reported in the journal Nature, is the latest find to come from Hohle Fels Cave in Germany."I think there are good reasons to emphasise sexual interpretations, but we really don't know whether it is coming from a more male or a more female perspective. We don't know very much about how the artefact was used."
Oh man, those cave people were a classy bunch, were they not? They so were. And such the artisans. But seriously, is that really the way women used to look back then? Because, if so, BBW AND mammoths? *firing up time machine* Somebody smells a threesome!
Hit the jump for another picture with more angles.
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Oct 27 2008 Knife Skills: Pumpkin Carving Champion
Well folks, with Valentine's just around the corner I figured I'd do a bunch of holiday-related posts this week. And what better way to get things rolling than with some dude's L337 pumpkin carving skills?
Congratulations to Ray Villafane, a sculptor for DC Comics on his win Sunday night on the Food Network's Pumpkin Carving Challenge. The six and half hour event pitted four pumpkin carvers against each other in a three part competition. Part one involved a traditional Jack o Lantern. Part two: 3D sculpture. The final part, which was worth half of the points was the freestyle competition.
Ray dominated all three parts of the competition and took home $10,000 and two pumpkin groupies.
Hit the jump to see the two other pumpkins and the cutest damn werewolf-child ever.
Jul 18 2008 Steampunk R2 Is Cute As A Victorian Button
This is a picture of a steampunkified R2-D2 made by Deviant Art user Amoebabloke. Because, let's face it, steampunk and Star Wars are a match made in heaven. Like crabs and Old Bay. Or beer and liquor. Or my penis and coworker's coffee. The point I'm trying to make is this: that shit was scalding this morning.
Beer Barrel R2-D2 Steampunk Sculpture [neatorama]
Thanks crowbarsamuri, can I be tireironninja?
Jul 7 2008 Kinetic Ball Sculpture At The BMW Museum
Okay so I've been sitting here playing Bomberman on FireNES and pretending those sick, sick women were the enemies in the game. It wasn't working so I went outside and cut down one of my asshole neighbor's trees. Now I'm feeling a little better, but not much. I figured I'd try and post a nice soothing video to make up for that last one that undoubtedly left you permanently scarred.
This is a video of a kinetic ball sculpture in the recently reopened BMW museum in Munich. It has some elevator music playing in the background that'll either put you to sleep or make you want to kill those Star Wars murderers depending on how you feel about ultra-light jazz. Each of the sculpture's 714 metallic balls is held up by string and moves to create some pretty cool looking effects. The last fifteen seconds are the best though, when the balls come together to take the shape of a car. Way to go BMW. Now if you could just spend a little less time playing with your dangling marbles and a little more getting my driver's-side door to open, we'll be all set.
Hit the jump to see a picture of a car the sculpture sometimes makes.
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Jun 17 2008 Sand Vader Isn't The Worst Thing I've Seen
This is a picture of Darth Vader in sand sculpture form (aka Sand Vader). It's not bad if you squint your eyes and shake your head so you can't tell it's way out of proportion and Vader has creepy bug-eyes. Personally, I would have gone with a Jawa Sandcrawler and a bunch of those little freaks running around. Yeah -- and a giant Princess Leia. But what do I know? I've only won the Interplanetary Sand Sculpture Competition six years running. I know what the judges like. And let me tell you, a Princess Leia sand-boob would have gone a long way.
Hit the jump for several more sculptures, including a Rockbiter (Sandmuncher) from The Neverending Story (I cry just thinking about Artax drowning in the Swamp of Sadness), the Simpsons (Sandsons), and the Silver (Sand)Surfer.
Continue Reading " Sand Vader Isn't The Worst Thing I've Seen "
Apr 24 2008 Get You Wii Mii Turned Into A Real Sculpture
When I first got a Wii I spent over an hour making a perfect representation of myself in Wii Mii form. Needless to say, it's fugly as shite. But if your Mii turned out better than mine you can now get it made into a real sculpture. You just send Miisculptures $75 and a picture of Wii Yii (you) and they'll make a 4-inch tall physical model. If you're interested in using them as wedding cake toppers they'll do two of them for $140. And if your wife does let you use them as a cake topper, I have two words for you: holdon tight. You've got a good woman. I do not. I just casually suggested I wanted a video-game (Zelda) themed wedding and you know what she did? She kicked me in the grapes and started crying. You know what theme we ended up settling on? Pretty pretty princess. God, please take me now.
Two more pictures of Bill Gates and Chuck Norris miis they made after the jump.
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Oct 12 2007 Questionable Transformer Built From Citroen
Three friends spent three months in China building a large robotic looking creature out of a Citroen C2. The thing stands 15 feet tall and has been named X2. It is loosely based on Bumblebee and Jazz from the Transformers movie. They wanted to make an Optimus Prime, but said it would stand over 7 stories tall (and be a lot cooler). The legs can bend a little and the fingers move, but that's about it for transforming capabilities. Making it NOTHING LIKE A TRANSFORMER. It's a robot sculpture that doesn't do shit (except look cool).
One more after the jump, along with a Citroen C4 transformer commercial.
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Aug 3 2007 M.C. Escher's impossible Waterfall sculpture
ThinkGeek is selling a sculpture of M.C. Escher's famous impossible Waterfall. Unfortunately, it doesn't actually break the laws of physics, and only looks right when viewed at a very specific angle with one eye closed. Which is exactly what I ask the ladies to do whenever I get naked. Sometimes I even have them close both eyes.
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