Jul 27 2009 Do It Yourself Aftermarket Motorcycle Seat
People's ingenuity never ceases to amaze me. Take this custom motorcycle seat for instance. Just imagine the lumbar support! But the question remains: is there enough room to add a baby seat? BECAUSE MY BABY WAS BORN TO RIDE! And by 'my baby' I mean I sit with a hot computer in my lap for 14 hours a day. There are no survivors.
DIY Motorcycle Seat Grants Great Posture at the Expense of Dignity [gizmodo]
Jun 26 2009 Vroom Vroom?: Piaggio's 3-Wheeled Scooter
Two wheels in the front, one in the back -- that's crazy talk! But not for this Piaggio scooter, which looks eerily like the lovechild of my moped and Darth Vader's Segway.
The Piaggio MP3 500 Scooter ($9,000) features a unique three-wheel design, providing a more stable, secure, and easier ride. Features include a 493cc engine, a maximum speed of 89mph, 55-57 mpg gas mileage, a lean angle of 40 degrees, 20% less braking distance than traditional two-wheeled scooters, and aggressive looks that will help you stand out from the Vespa crowd.
I really want one, but I know that it would kill me. Well technically IT wouldn't kill me, it would be hitting the bottom of the canyon.
Piaggio MP3 500 Scooter [uncrate]
Thanks to naas, who once popped a wheelie and crashed into a telephone pole. He limped from the scene.
Jan 21 2009 Wow, That's Woody: A Custom Wooden Vespa
This wooden Vespa was made by woodmaster Carlos Alberto to show off his skills in the art of woodery. The entire exterior was constructed of laminated hardwood and, I've got to admit, it looks pretty damn amazing. But the question remains: is there a cooler form of transportation than a wooden Vespa? And the answer, of course, is yes, all of them. Including hobbling on crutches.
Hit the jump for several closeups and a link to the build page.
Continue Reading " Wow, That's Woody: A Custom Wooden Vespa "
Oct 29 2008 Express Lane Only: The Shopping Cart Trike
The Cartrider was designed by Jaebeom Jeong and combines a shopping cart and trike. That way you can do your shopping faster, and while seated. Alternatively, you can just use one of the motorized scooters that grocery stores have available for disabled patrons and play the grocery store game. 2 points are awarded for hitting a pedestrian shopper, and an additional 5 every time you hit the same person again. 15 points for each end-of-aisle display you knock over, and 100 if you ride the scooter home before the battery dies. 500 if there's a low-speed chase involved.
Hit the jump for two more pictures.
Continue Reading " Express Lane Only: The Shopping Cart Trike "
Oct 20 2008 Hover Scooter Is Wicked Freaking Uncool
Haha, so I haven't left New Orleans. And you know what? I might not. One of the awesomest parts of being king of the interweb is being able to work from any seedy, gin-soaked, smoke-filled bar with Wi-Fi that you want. So I'm at a coffee shop. And I want this freaking hover-scooter. Sold by Hammacher Schlemmer, the piece of monkey shit costs $17,000, and, apparently, should only be ridden with a safety helmet. Oh, and acting like you're humping the handle.
Hailed by The New York Times as a "miniature flying saucer with handlebars, the hover scooter provides an unprecedented experience in personal transportation, levitating inches above the ground and speeding a single rider across level land on a cushion of air. Gentle lift from an engine-powered fan elevates the scooter off the ground, and a stream of air exiting a vent in the back provides light forward thrust.
Light forward thrust, huh? As opposed to some heavy backwards stabbing? Which, incidentally, I may or may not have experienced in the quarter last night. They're not all chicks!
Thanks to Jeff, who made me swear I'd buy him one for posting this. But guess what Jeff? I'm a lying asshole!
Sep 5 2008 Turn Your Scooter Into A Mobile Hotspot
Is your scooter just not geeky enough for you? How about turning that bad boy into a mobile hotspot?
This how-to shows building instructions for putting together a scooter that doubles as a roving wireless hotspot, GPS device, pirate radio station, and even has enough juice to amplify an electric guitar in order to play songs over the web.
Awesome! The only thing you have to watch out for, based on the look of that monster antennae, is spinal cancer. Trust me on this one, I don't break into the hospital and steal patients' meals because I'm not a doctor. I do it because I'm hungry and my wife couldn't cook to save the last living dinosaur.
Wireless scooter lets you wardrive from the fast lane [make]
via
Build yourself a scooter that doubles as a roving hotspot [dvice]
Aug 1 2008 Segway Competition: Toyota's Winglet
The Winglet Advanced Scooter is Toyota's attempt at a smaller, more agile Segway. I wouldn't be caught dead on one, but I would ride it until I got hit by a car and launched clear off. Then I'd be caught dead on the pavement. Win-win. Skip to the second half of the video to see a woman riding it without the stupid handle in the way. It looks a lot cooler like that. Also, sweet ass-shot at 0:41. I'm not the pervert, you're the pervert. You looked didn't you? Haha, gimme that neck!
Jun 13 2008 Guy Scores Himself A DWI On Cooler Scooter
Well folks, they finally got me. After months of (relatively) incident free cooler scooting around town, I finally scored my first DWI while doing 13 MPH down the sidewalk.
Leslie J. "Bomber" Marr, 57, was charged with driving while intoxicated and aggravated unlicensed operation of a motor vehicle after the police saw him swerving on the street and driving on the sidewalk in his "Cruzin Cooler," Whitehall Police Chief Richard LaChapelle told the Post Star newspaper.Marr's electric-powered cooler was filled with 14 beers and has room for 24 cans and ice, Fox News reported.
These jackasses have the story all wrong. First off, my name is Leslie J. "Mad Bomber" Marr, and secondly, there were only 12 beers left because I slammed two before the cop got out of his car.
Under New York state law, driving any motorized vehicle must be done without alcohol, including motorized coolers. In various states, other modes of transportation in which driving is prohibited while intoxicated include lawnmowers, boats, bicycles, golf carts, wheelchairs and horses.
Wow, no drunk wheelchairing, huh? Why don't we just go the extra mile and make being handicapped illegal too?
Man Gets DWI After Riding Motorized Cooler [wgal]
Thanks Jacob, now everyone's gonna make fun of me
