Nov 6 2009 Gross: Spit Ball Toys Grow 200x Original Size

Spit Balls are a $ 5 toy from Edmund Scientific that grow to 200x their original size and sound like something that I don't want to touch. Still, for the sake of science, I'd put them in my mouth.

The wonder of polymers makes these slimy spit balls possible. Easy to make and fun to use, spit balls grow to 200x their original size and are slimy to the touch. Slip, slide, and bounce the balls until they explode on target.

"Growing to 200x it's original size"...."slimy to the touch"...."bouncing the balls until they explode on target"....remind you of something else? Yeah, me neither.

Product Site
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Finally Some Real Innovation! Polymer Spit Balls Grow To 200x Their Original Size [ohgizmo]

Nov 2 2009 Whittlin': Guns Carved Into Old School Desks

Ben Turnbull is a London-based artist that hates America (USA! USA! USA!) and whittles guns into old wooden school desks. I smell a detention slip!

Ben Turnbull is fascinated by the global dominance of American culture, and his works unsettling effects result from re-presenting the toys of our innocent youth in symbolic forms that reveal the shocking truths about war, death and guns in the world's most powerful country. Turnbull is a passionate critic of the contemporary American political system, and explains why toys are central to his work: 'Force fed on violence, abused by a controlling superpower and blackmailed through patriotism, the public are ultimately as disposable as the toys they once played with'.

Damn Ben, why don't you tell us how you really feel? Over a spot of tea with your queen while I whip your crumpet-munching ass! Jingoism FTW! I'm serious, meet me behind the pub.

Hit the jump for five more.

Continue Reading " Whittlin': Guns Carved Into Old School Desks "

Jul 31 2009 Teen Suing Amazon For Deleting Book From Kindle, Or, Why I Don't Have My Homework

A teen has filed a class-action lawsuit against Amazon for remotely deleting a copy of George Orwell's '1984' off his Kindle without his knowledge or the right to do so.

Justin D. Gawronski, 17, "now needs to recreate all of his studies," alleges the complaint filed Thursday in Seattle by the law firm KamberEdelson, LLC.

Gawronski took copious notes using the Kindle that were linked to particular passages in the book, the court document says, and while those notes are still accessible, they are useless without the passages they reference.

Amazon has apologized for remotely deleting copies of 1984 and another Orwell novel, Animal Farm, in mid-July without informing customers.

Jay Edelson, the lead attorney in the lawsuit, said in a statement that the plaintiffs "appreciate Amazon.com's new-found contrition, but words are not enough. Amazon.com had no more right to hack into people's Kindles than its customers have the right to hack into Amazon's bank account to recover a mistaken overpayment."

Now I'm not saying Amazon should have done that, but I am saying that Justin is pretty lazy for not just going back through the book and finding the passages again. Not that it matters anyways because I'm pretty sure this is just a sorry excuse for not having your homework ready on time. But seriously, one time my dog really did eat my homework. And by homework I mean weed.

Amazon sued for wrecking teen's Kindle work [msn]

Thanks to Laura and Joemo, who would have just sent their teacher a corrupted file like a normal person.

Jul 29 2009 Unhappy Hump Day: Another Learning Robot

Just look at that picture. Do you see anything wrong with it? If you answered, "yes -- absolutely everything, there is not a single thing right about that photo", congratulations, there's hope for you yet. Anyway, a group of hellbent fools at the Developmental Robotics Laboratory at Iowa State University have developed a robot that they hope will be able to learn things similar to the way a child does.

Rather than pre-program it to perform a set of tasks, the team believes that robots need to experience the same kind of development that humans and animals do.

To that end, their 'bot is equipped with two long arms and a pair of webcam-looking eyes. It can hear and see, and learns to identify objects by picking them up and performing different tests, such as shaking or dropping them.

Yes, shaking and dropping them. Just wait until it identifies a human. Also, whose bright idea was it to give that thing a pair of scissors. I'M NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO USE SCISSORS AND I'M HUMAN! Moooooooom -- the dog made me glue my head to the carpet again!

Video of the learning baby deathbot in action after the jump.

Continue Reading " Unhappy Hump Day: Another Learning Robot "

Jul 25 2009 Lil' Anakin Skywalker Hates Star Wars, Sort Of

This is an interview with Jake Lloyd, the kid that played little Anakin Skywalker in Star Wars: Episode One (ten years ago!) talking about the effect being in the film has had on his life. SPOILER ALERT: Apparently he got made fun of in school and is blamed for ruining the movie. It made me kind of sad. I mean, I didn't cry or anything, but I did burn an effigy of George Lucas and cast a spell.

The Force Is Not With Him: Anakin Skywalker 10 Years Later [yahoomovies]

Thanks to FDSY and manders, who are thankful they weren't child actors, because now their lives would be all effed up.

Jun 12 2009 Questionable: Boy Is Allegedly Hit By Meteorite, Lives To Tell Spread Lies About It

Allegedly Gerrit Blank, 14, of Essen, Germany, got hit by a pea-sized meteorite on his way to school.

A red hot, pea-sized piece of rock then hit his hand before bouncing off and causing a foot wide crater in the ground.

The teenager survived the strike, the chances of which are just 1 in a million - but with a nasty three-inch long scar on his hand.

He said: "At first I just saw a large ball of light, and then I suddenly felt a pain in my hand.

"The noise that came after the flash of light was so loud that my ears were ringing for hours afterwards.

"When it hit me it knocked me flying and then was still going fast enough to bury itself into the road," he explained.

Jesus, Gerrit, so you didn't finish your book report, it's not that big a deal.

14-year-old hit by 30,000 mph space meteorite [telegraph]

Thanks to catch22, Texico and Joemo, who have all been hit in the face with real UFO's and never missed a class.

May 26 2009 Not Surprised: Ninja Turtle Notoriety Charts

I can honestly say I'm surprised the numbers for renaissance artists aren't even lower. Because one time when I was substitute teaching for a class of fourth graders I asked who sculpted David and the only response was from a girl who asked if that was the one with the penis. I said yes and then they all started chanting I was gay.

Ninja Turtles [xkcd]

Thanks Andrew, who once cowabunga'ed two chicks at once in the Party Wagon.

May 14 2009 The Study Ball: I Said Do Your Homework!

The Study Ball is allegedly a real $115 product that prevents you from moving from your desk while you're supposed to be studying. Obviously, it's a complete sham unless it weighs at least 200lbs, because I can lift twice that with my littlest piggy.

The Study Ball gadget is a prison-style ball and chain that you can program to keep track of how much time you spend studying. Once you've selected the desired duration, you chain the ball to your ankle and the manacle won't come off until the schedule study time is up.A red LED indicator displays the "Study Time Left" and keeps you informed as to how much longer you've got to keep studying. The ball and chain are made of highly durable steel and weighs a total of 9.5 kg / 20.95 pounds, which makes it difficult to move while wearing it.

21lbs, pfffft. That's not gonna stop anybody from doing anything. Including, but not limited to: robbing a liquor store. ALL THE BOURBON OR YOUR ANKLE GETS IT! What? NO THIS AIN'T NO SKIP-IT!

Product Site
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Study Ball brings seriously old school methods to child rearing [dvice]

Thanks to e., who actually knows the whole Skip-It jingle. Wow, e., I think I love you.

Mar 25 2009 Real Life Spider-Man Rescues Autistic Boy

A quick-thinking Thai fireman came to the rescue recently when he dressed as Spider-Man in order to coerce an 8-year old autistic student off a high ledge.

Teachers at a special needs school in Bangkok alerted authorities on Monday when an autistic pupil, scared of attending his first day at school, sat out on the third-floor ledge and refused to come inside, a police sergeant told AFP.

Despite teachers' efforts to beckon the boy inside, he refused to budge until his mother mentioned her son's love of superheroes, prompting fireman Sonchai Yoosabai to take a novel approach to the problem.

The rescuer dashed back to his fire station and made a quick change into a Spider-Man costume before returning to the boy, he said.

"I told him Spider-Man is here to rescue you, no monsters are going to attack you and I told him to walk slowly towards me as running could be dangerous," Somchai told local television.

The boy came to the masked hero without hesitation (I hope no candy vanners are reading this). Sonchai says the fire department keeps Spider-Man and Ultraman costumes to "liven up school fire drills", and also, "freaky deaky sex". Well PEW PEW to you too, Bangkok Fire Dept.

Thai fireman in 'spider-man' rescue of autistic boy [yahoonews]

Thanks to Joemo, Sam and Jason, who ask, "where were you, Iron Man?"

Mar 18 2009 Percent Of Student Virgins Per College Major

As you can see, majoring in Mathematics or Chemistry pretty much guarantees you a sexless college experience. Good for you, hopefully you took a purity pledge or something. Now, if you'll excuse me, "CALLING ALL FEMALE STUDIO ART MAJORS, PARTY AT MY HOUSE -- BRING FINGERPAINT."

Virginity rates among students by major [forwardon]

Thanks to Julian (a poli-sci major) and Romeo, who majored in Juliet. HIYO!

Mar 11 2009 They're After Our Children!: Robot Substitute

Have kids? Well you won't for long if Saya, the robot substitute, has her way. The harbinger of death is allegedly multilingual, capable of calling roll, reading, and assigning work from textbooks. Also, scaring the shit out of your children.

Behind her latex face -- modeled on a university student -- 18 motors create expressions including happiness, surprise, fear, disgust, sadness and even anger.

Saya will start teaching after passing a trial term at a Tokyo primary.

Her creator, science professor Hiroshi Kobayashi, had been working on the robot for 15 years.

Wow, robotic substitutes -- what will they think of next? Robotic cafeteria ladies? That would suck, because I'm a boy that needs extra fish sticks, and you can't bribe a robot. Or can you? Hey Roomba, I'll oil you if you clean under the bed really well. *BEEP BOP BEEP* DOES NOT COMPUTE. You piece of shit, I knew I never should have WOOTed you.

Hit the jump to see what your robotic substitute looks like with no face.

Continue Reading " They're After Our Children!: Robot Substitute "

Feb 19 2009 13-Year Old Fathers Son, Plays Video Games

In the heartcooling story of the week, 13-year old Alfie Patten (who looks six) fathered a baby with his 15-year old girlfriend. The little smurf was only 12 when he got the ogre pregnant.

The four-footer -- who looks no more than eight -- said: "I know I'm young, but I plan to be a good dad."

As he went on the PlayStation with 15-year-old girlfriend Chantelle Steadman, he added: "I think we'll be good parents. I'll have to work extra hard at school."

Chantelle looked up from 18-rated action game Saints Row II to admit her first night out of hospital since having 7lb 3oz daughter Maisie had been tough and had left her "in a daze".

Yes, you'll have to work extra hard at school. Middle school. Was that not the saddest thing you've heard all day? No? Okay, try this one: you know that hamster you had as a kid that you thought lived eight years? It didn't. Your parents chose a solid brown one for a reason.

"I Know I'm Young, But I Plan To Be A Good Dad" [kotaku]

Thanks to Julian, Eric, JD, Alexander, Kenny and Juggernaut, who will probably never have children because most hookers make you wrap it up.

Feb 7 2009 Doctoral Student Furious After University Throws Out His Collection Of Lizard Dung

Typically, you don't want bags of crap hanging around for too long. But not Daniel Bennett -- he loves that shit! Now he's furious that Leeds University custodians threw away part of his doctoral work -- a 77lb bag of Butaan Lizard dung it took him 7 years to collect.

"Whether it was the largest collection of lizard shit in the world is uncertain, but it certainly contained the only dietary sample from that little-known species Varanus olivaceus, and probably the most complete dietary record of any single population of animals in South East Asia. Its loss left me reeling and altered the course of my life forever."

First of all, Daniel, I don't think "shit" is the proper scientific nomenclature. And secondly, if losing a bag of crap can alter the course of your life forever, well, it's time you take a long, hard look at your life anyways. Just saying, tons of birdshit on my car.

University apologises for lizard dung clear-out [wigantoday]

Thanks to RyanThePerson, who is an actual human and not just shit stacked that high.

Jan 7 2009 6-Year Old Misses Bus, Steals Family Car, Learned To Drive Playing Grand Theft Auto

A six-year old (possibly Lil Derrick) missed the school bus and did what any responsible, education-loving tyke would do -- stole his parents' 2005 Ford Taurus and drive his damn self. It almost brings a tear to my eye. Almost. Super villains don't cry though. I ain't no little bitch!

He made at least two 90-degree turns, passed several cars and ran off the rural two-lane road several times before hitting an embankment and utility pole about a mile and a half from school.

The boy told police he learned to drive playing Grand Theft Auto and Monster Truck Jam video games.

"He was very intent on getting to school," said Northumberland County Sheriff Chuck Wilkins. "When he got out of the car, he started walking to school. He did not want to miss breakfast and PE."

Damn, what a student he must be! I think we've got a future rocket scientist on our hands here. Just kidding, he'll be locked up in no time.

6-year-old takes family car after missing bus [ajc]

Thanks to Chris and Kevin, who never stole cars to get to school because those mutherf***ers had jetpacks, yo!

Dec 12 2008 NYU To Offer Video Game Degree Next Fall

NYU will be offering degrees in the design and development of video games starting fall 2009. Load up on Mountain Dew, kids, it's time to get your learn on.

The NYU Game Center, launching in fall 2009, will make NYU the first New York City college to offer such a degree, and one of the few in the country.

"It will do a lot to attract new students to New York and raise the city's profile as a center for gaming," said Center for an Urban Future deputy director Tara Colton, who recently called out New York City for lagging behind its competition in tapping into the videogame market.

Drawing from a private $1 million contribution, and a $200,000 Rockefeller grant, the center will initially be modest in scale. NYU plans to offer ten to twelve students the chance to choose from 70 courses in game design and development next year, with a two-year masters program set to launch in 2010.

Cool. I mean, I'd probably still fail out, but at least the subject material would be cooler than the stuff I learned. Which was nothing. Well, that's not entirely true. I made bongs and shit. And also, radiator wine. You know, by setting bottles of apple juice on the radiator in front of the window for a semester. You ever done that before? My f***, it gets you some drunk.

NYU Launching Videogame Degree Next Fall [shacknews]

Thanks to Alexandria, The Reigning Queen of Nerdopia, who just earned herself an honorary doctorate in awesome from the University of Geekologie.

Dec 5 2008 U.K. Launches (Teddy) Bears To (Near) Space

The University of Cambridge, in cooperation with a bunch of school kids, ballooned four teddy bears to 30,000 meters. Because, I mean, why the hell not?

A helium balloon was used to get the bears up up and away flying to Near Space or the Edge of Space as it is known. The bears endured temperatures of minus 53 degrees on the three hour flight from Cambridge and all were returned safely to Earth.

The project was intended to "engage local schoolchildren in science and engineering" with young pupils making the Teddy-nauts' space-suits.

Oh yeah, making Teddy-naut suits, that's science and engineering for you. Let's see, the dumbass bear on the left doesn't even have a freaking helmet, so that poor bastard's long gone. And the one on the right....is that an inside out Doritos bag zip tied to his body? Wow. There was no good picture of the balloon they used, but we can only assume it was of the 'Get Well Soon' variety from the grocery store.

Photos of teddy bears in space [newslite]

Thanks to Charles, who once launched a polar bear into space with a single punch. The dude's strong.

Dec 5 2008 Geekologie Reader Gets Credit For Spider

Geekologie reader Dustin got partial credit (2/5 points!) for pulling the ol' picture of a spider trick on an algebra test in college. Good looking, Dustin! It's just too bad your teacher's a dick -- I think we can all agree that spider's easily a 3-pointer.

Thanks again Dustin, may all your future math tests be arachnid-y.

Nov 26 2008 College Students Play Real-Life Quidditch

This is a video about college students playing a non-wizard version of Quidditch. You know, that game in Harry Potter where the players fly around with broomsticks up their asses. Unsurprisingly, it's taking college campuses by storm (just like Humans vs. Zombies!).

The earthbound variation is called Muggle Quidditch. The sport originated in 2005 when a student at Middlebury College adapted the game for the nonmagical world. Its popularity quickly spread, and today more than 150 colleges throughout the United States have Quidditch teams.

As in the fictional game, each Muggle Quidditch team has seven players: three chasers, two beaters, a keeper, and a seeker. Chasers score points by throwing a quaffle, or volleyball, through one of three hoops (worth 10 points) while trying to avoid bludgers, or dodgeballs, that are thrown by beaters. (If chasers are hit by a bludger, they must drop the quaffle.) The keeper's job is to protect the three goalposts, while the seeker must capture the snitch -- a sock stuffed with tennis balls carried by a person (typically a cross-country runner) dressed in gold. Capturing the snitch nets an additional 30 points and ends the game.

You know, different strokes for different folks. I spent my college career drinking and doing drugs, but Quidditch sounds fun too. And by fun I mean I was thankfully never violated by a broomstick in college. That came later. And splintery.

Not Harry Potter? Not a Problem [butoday]

Thanks to Brett and Hailey, who aren't allowed to play because they can fly.

Aug 18 2008 Cool!: The Periodic Table Of Videos

The Periodic Table of Videos is a project created by University of Nottingham professor Martyn Poiakoff and video journalist Brady Haran to teach the masses all neat facts about the various chemical elements. This is a teaser trailer here, but you can go to their official website for 118 different videos, with more to come soon. Damn, this reminds me of my high school chemistry class. Oh, the joy I'd experience when I made something explode. Oh my god -- and don't even get me started on my lab partner's monster rack. The poor bastard had man-tits!

Periodic Table of Videos Makes Chemistry Extremely Watchable [gizmodo]

Jul 23 2008 Fingernail Watch Doesn't Prevent Hangnails

The Timex2154 is a conceptual watch design that took runner-up in the global watch design competition sponsored by Timex and Core77. First place was a sundial. This particular concept was designed by a stoner (hence the 4:20) and fastens to your nail. You push the end to scroll through the different modes and change your color options. My girlfriend is so stupid she would probably nail polish right over it. Hey Timex, if you decide to manufacture this thing can you do me a favor and make a fingernail calculator too? I'm failing algebra because the teacher doesn't let us use calculators. Well, that, and the guy I chose cheat off of is apparently an idiot.

That's time at your fingertips [popgadget]

Thanks Mike, can I copy off you?