Mar 4 2009 Star Trek Inspired Colognes Coming Soon To A Galaxy Near You (Hint: The Milky Way)
What could possibly be better than smelling like the original Star Trek television series? Nothing! Well, besides smelling like me. *WHIFF* Mmmm, chili-cheese dogs. Really drives the bitches wild. I'm serious, Chloe and Ginger are literally fighting over my shirt. CUT IT OUT YOU TWO -- no walk later unless you're good! Created by Genki Wear, there will be three different scents to choose from:
Tiberius
The Tiberius cologne, named in honor of the Mirror Universe James T. Kirk's challenges users to "Boldly Go" with a perfume described as being spiked with "notes of freshness and sensuality.
Red Shirt
Genki's "Red Shirt" cologne (whose tag line "Because Tomorrow May Never Come" is priceless) celebrates the sacrifices of those often nameless crew of the USS Enterprise. Described appropriately as a cologne for those with a "devotion to living each day as it could be your last" the cologne has top notes of green mandarin, bergamot, and lavender, with base notes of leather and grey musk.
Pon Farr
The most risqué titled of the new Star Trek fragrances is "Ponn Farr" which is a perfume designed to "drive him wild." It should only be used once every seven years (okay, that isn't true). Named for the Vulcan mating ritual first introduced in the episode "Amok Time," this perfume is one of the newly designed products meant to appeal to female fans.
Eh, I'm not crazy about any of them. No, I think I'll be saving my fragrance dollar for Eau de KHAAAAAAAN!
Hit the jump for a picture of Tiberius.
Jan 8 2009 60% Of The Time, It Works Every Time: Anchorman's Sex Panther Cologne
I didn't really like Anchorman, but that's neither here nor there. Now you can buy officially licensed Sex Panther cologne from the movie for only $30 per 1.7-oz spray bottle. No word if it's made with real panther bits or smells like gasoline, but if I had to guess, I'd say wear Old Spice. You'll remind women of their grandfathers. And that, dear reader, will leave more chicks for me. Thanks, suckers!
Product Site
Thanks to Flickledorx, who doesn't need cologne to be flammable. The man is hot!
Jun 2 2008 GENIUS: A Candle That Smells Like Strippers
Sometimes there's a candle that comes along and changes the way I look at wax-fueled flames forever. And this is one -- The Hotwicks Stripper Candle. The $9 candle smells like strippers.
It's a candle and an alibi all in one! You don't smell like a stripper, you just smell like a candle.
This is our favorite candle. After hundreds of hours of research and a lot of dollar bills we succeeded in capturing the legendary stripper scent. If you don't know what a stripper smells like just imagine the perfume counter at your local department store times a thousand... then add some glitter. This is a perfect gift for your favorite bachelor, groomsmen, or retired stripper who misses her pole.
OMGWTFNOMORESLEEPINGINTHEDOGHOUSEFORTHEGEEKOLOGIEWRITER! Wow, I really need to shake the hands of the humanitarians that spent those countless hours researching this breakthrough in scent technology. Good people. Now when I come home and the wife accuses me of stripclubbing, I'll insist it's just the candle. But if she asks why I have a pastie stuck to my forehead I'll have to run and hide in the bathroom.
Another picture of the candle after the jump.
Continue Reading " GENIUS: A Candle That Smells Like Strippers "
Mar 10 2008 Perfume Is Nasty, Gross, Nasty, Not The Worst We've Seen, Well, That's Debatable
Sécrétions Magnifiques is a scent from odor maker Libre D'Orange. And let me tell you, it probably won't be a treat for the ol' olfactory system. That's right, the cologne was designed to smell like a rotting corpse! Just kidding, it's a combination of blood, sweat, saliva and sperm. Which is pretty nasty. In the category of bad scents it's right up there with German Poontang Juice. A 50mL bottle will set you back about $76 and sounds like one of the worst wastes of money ever. I don't even know what else to say, except I paid extra for the overnight shipping option.
Smells Like Teen Spirit [divinecaroline]
Thanks to Patricio, who doesn't smell like complete ass, for the tip
Mar 3 2008 I'm Sold: Smencils Are Scented Pencils
Remember the Mr. Sketch (great name) Scented Markers that first introduced you to the wonderful world of huffing? I sure do. Damn that grape was out of this world. Well, if you loved them as much as I did, you know about the risk of accidentally marking on your nose and getting pegged as a huffer. Enter Smencils -- the pencil version of scented markers. They cost $10 for a pack of ten different scents, and are totally worth it. Now that doesn't mean I'm going to buy some, but it does mean I'll steal some and rubber cement them up my nose.
Thanks to Kelly, who always smells great, for the tip
