Apr 28 2009 Rocks: Not Just For Christmas Anymore
As a guy who's no stranger to receiving a sockful of coal on Christmas morning, I wouldn't be surprised to open a birthday present and see the same thing. Thankfully, nobody bothers remembering my birthday anymore. But a Florida mother got pissed when she bought her son a $138 Nintendo DS from Wal-Mart, only to find out the box was full of rocks and a couple pieces of wadded Chinese newspaper (to prevent the fragile rocks from breakage). Wow, porno-laden PSP, you got nothin' on this.
The troubling discovery prompted the Florida woman to contact the local Wal-Mart where she bought the curious box and complain, but reportedly workers there told her it wasn't their problem and that she should contact Nintendo instead. Of course, Nintendo told her roughly the same thing, leaving mother and son with a $138 box of rocks.
Amazingly enough, however, Wal-Mart soon caved after learning that the same box of rocks had been previously returned by another disgruntled customer. How exactly it made it back onto store shelves remains a mystery, but for her troubles, Wykle was given a full refund and a $20 gift card.
Yes, what a mystery. We better call Sherlock Holmes in for this head-scratcher. I mean, WTF? You think a Keebler Elf broke out of a box of cookies, hiked all the way to the electronics department, and restocked the system in the middle of the night? Because that's what I'm leaning towards.
Florida teen finds rocks in Nintendo DS box [yahoonews]
and
$138 box of rocks?? [wtsp]
Thanks to Huevo and Lisa, who once had a shopping cart race in Wal-Mart and accidentally ran over the greeter.
Dec 23 2008 Santa, Quick!: A Millennium Falcon Sled
It's a well known fact that Santa hates my guts because I caught him boning a reindeer one foggy Christmas Eve while I was trying to piss my name in the snow (not Rudolph though, it was dark). So I'm probably not gonna get anything, but I figured I'd try anyways.
Santa,
Just writing to inform you of a last minute gift idea for yours truly -- a moderately priced ($35) Millennium Falcon sled. Thank you for your time and consideration.Sincerely,
The Geekologie Writer
P.S. If you do not comply I will be forced to fly your reindeer to the moon, where they will die -- flying reindeer can't breathe in outer space!
Damn I write a good letter.
Star Wars Millennium Falcon Sled [ohgizmo]
Thanks to Pat, who's holding out for an AT-AT sled.
Dec 18 2008 'Tis The Season: Beer Bottle Christmas Trees
With Jesus' surprise roller-skating party just a week away, I thought I'd spread some holiday drunkeness in the form of beer bottle Christmas trees. This first one is made from 1,050 bottles, and there's a video after the jump of a Heineken tree with over 2,000. Also, I added a video of some drunkard making a Jagermeister tree out of a big piece of plywood and airplane bottles. It's amazing the time and effort people put into these things. A thousand bottles, 200 lights, 60 man-hours of labor, and one drunk Geekologie Writer to bring it all crashing down. Feliz cumpleaños, Jesus! And tell Santa I'll post nudey pics of Mrs. Claus if he pulls that coal shit again this year.
Hit it for the other videos.
Continue Reading " 'Tis The Season: Beer Bottle Christmas Trees "
Dec 17 2008 Santa, I've Been Good This Year, I Swear. Fine -- I'm Lying, But, Damnit You Chubby Bastard, I Really Want This R/C Tank
And what an R/C tank it is too! The 6ft, 550lb beast is a 1/4 scale replica of a German King Tiger and operates via two 500-watt, 24 volt motors, capable of pulling a car. Complete with a 2ft gun and functional turret, the tank is clearly ready to destroy at its operator's command. Unfortunately, the wickedness costs $10,230, which means laying siege to your neighbor's house is probably gonna have to wait -- till you can steal their car while they're on vacation! Drive that land-yacht right through the bay window. Extra points if you can park upstairs!
Toy tank will blow your mind [thesun]
Thanks to Richthegringo, who once road a tank into K-Mart and raided the blue-light special.
Dec 12 2008 Mmmm, The Dessert Of Gods: Meat Cake
If Jesus wasn't too busy telling that fat f***er Santa to shit down my chimney, maybe I'd bake him a meat-cake for his birthday.
Hit the jump to see a pictorial on how to create your own meat cake, which basically involves making three giant hamburgers, gluing them together with ketchup, and frosting the bitch with mashed potatoes. Bon appetite!
