Nov 19 2009 About Time!: Improved Steering Wheel Desk
We saw another steering wheel desk here on Geekologie quite some time ago, but I think we can all agree this is a much improved model. First of all, you can write/type at a normal angle and not the angle of the actual wheel. As a matter of fact, I'm using one now, and I've got to admit: it's quite comfortable. Secondly, HOOOOOOLY SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT
Hit the jump for a bunch of other worthwhile product shots.
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Nov 19 2009 Laser Crosswalks: Because Pews = Safety
Laser Crosswalks are the crosswalks of the future. You can tell because it has 'laser' in the name. Pretty much anything with 'laser' in it is gonna be a huge hit in the future (including cereal). Don't believe me? Just stare at this laser eye-toy for a minute. Aaaaand now you're blind.
The Virtual Wall is designed as a replacement for traffic lights and if made would use "plasma laser beams" to project silhouettes of moving people into the path of oncoming traffic.
Supposedly this would calm traffic and make drivers more careful around the soft humans as they cross the street. I'd say it would be more likely that the appearance of giant red figures before the windshield would cause panic, crashing and general mayhem.
Hell yes, giant red laser-people. *pew pew* means walk! Plus, if you try driving through it the lasers should cut you up into little pieces. Don't act like we don't have that technology! We have that technology.
Laser Wall Replaces Traffic Light [wired]
Thanks to Fnahra tha evur livin, who loves lasers almost as much as I do but not quite because I have laser-vision. Yeah, so there, Fnahra.
Nov 17 2009 There's Got To Be An Easier Way: Guy Uses Crane-Lifted Lawnmower To Trim His Hedge
In a feat of extreme-mowing, two men in Cambridge, New Zealand used a crane to lift a lawnmower high enough to trim one's overgrown hedges. Nice, guys, I like the way you think -- EXXXTREME!!
The operator, who did not want to be named, is now nursing a broken hand, but said it wasn't a fall from the mower that caused the injury but one off the crane.
He admitted it was not the safest method of trimming the hedge, but said it was all done as a bit of a joke.They wanted to film the stunt, put it on the internet and see how many hits it got, but in the end had no video camera.
That, my friends, is pathetic. Not only a broken hand BUT NO VIDEO. WTF?! I demand a re-do. But this time with fireworks shooting out the back. Oooh, and bikini girls. Plus more injuries. I suggest fraying the cables and loosening the mower blade. YOUTUBE VIDEO OF THE CENTURY! And I want producer credit.
High rider trims his hedge [stuff]
Thanks to Patrick, who trims his hedge the old fashioned way: with a straight-razor. Yikes!
Nov 5 2009 On This Day In History
In 1955, Doctor Emmet Lathrop Brown was standing on a toilet hanging a wall clock when he slipped and beat his head on the bathroom sink. Unconscious, Doc had a vision. And that vision was that of a flux capacitor -- the device that makes time travel possible. The rest, my friends, is history. Or should I say, future? Time travel joke!
Thanks to Zach, who doesn't need roads where he's going.
Oct 31 2009 HAPPY HALLOWEEN, Have Fun Everyone!
HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE! This is me in my get-up last year just before losing the costume contest and sai-ing all the judges in the face. Everybody have fun out there tonight and remember to be safe (but not too safe). Also, if you see a David after the Dentist stumbling around, that's me (I scored a nitrous tank!). HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
Oct 28 2009 Just Ordered Two Cases: Dinosaur Condoms
That's right, dinosaur shaped condoms. Available from Willy Wardrobe (probably NSFW, but also has a bunch of other novelty condoms), each Stegosaurus E-Rex will set you back £2.50 (~$4) and is not recommended for re-use (even though you and I both know you totally will anyway).
A bit of a sexual fossil? Then this dinosaur condom is for you!
Warning: Sold as novelty only. Product may be used during intercourse although there is no guarantee that it will prevent pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases.Also, not responsible for lost spines.
Okay, so I made that last part up. Still, you've got to wonder. WONDER WHY NOBODY WAS MAKING THESE EARLIER! Plus, they like a perfect fit to me. Pfft, don't even act like your penis doesn't have feet too.
Thanks to Starchitect, Ezrail, david, DatsMark, Xavire, Ross, John, sara, Jody and clipper, for knowing me all too well.
Oct 15 2009 UPDATE: 6-Year Old (NOT) Floating Around In Homemade UFO Balloon
That's no 'Get Well' balloon, that's a 20' foil aircraft with a 6-year old boy inside, floating aimlessly 8,000 feet above eastern Colorado. Uh-oh.
The helium balloon was tethered to the boy's family home in Fort Collins, the Larimer County Sheriff's Department said. The boy got into the craft Thursday morning and undid the rope anchoring it.
Margie Martinez of the Weld County Sheriff's Office said a sibling saw the boy climb into the basket before the balloon took off. Since the door on the balloon was unlocked, Martinez said it's possible the boy had fallen out."The structure at the bottom of the balloon that the boy is in is made of extremely thin plywood and won't withstand any kind of a crash at all," said Erik Nilsson, Larimer County emergency manager, according to CNN affiliate KMGH.
Great, so he either fell out or won't survive the crash. Hooray for positive thinking. Come back down safely, balloon boy.
UPDATE: No boy when balloon landed. Not good.
UPDATE UPDATE: Falcon (the boy's actual name) was found hiding in a box in the garage attic (great search effort). This calls for celebration! (you hold him down, I'll tie on the fireworks)
6-year-old Colorado boy floats away in balloon [cnn]
Thanks to Jimmothy, stacy, jordana, dorothy, NICKSTER, rya, Jake, e.,The Superficial Writer, steven, Nigel, Valhalla, Lizzie, Noah and pepe la PEW PEW, whose parents thankfully never let them play around giant UFO balloons unsupervised.
Oct 14 2009 Build Your Own Roller Coaster Ride At Disney
No this isn't Roller Coaster Tycoon, this is real life! The "Sum of all Thrills" is a new ride at Disney's Epcot Center that allows children to design their own roller coasters and then ride them in a virtual reality environment with the aid of a giant robotic arm. I smell vomit! No, seriously -- I think a cat puked under the bed.
Epcot on Wednesday opened a new attraction called "Sum of All Thrills," which lets kids use computer tablets to design a virtual roller coaster, bobsled track or plane ride. After inputting their designs, kids climb into a robotic carriage that uses virtual-reality technology to help them experience the ride they've created.
"This is really the next generation -- where there's a lot more personalization involved" in the amusement-park experience, said Eric Goodman, Disney's lead project manager on the ride.
Cool. Of course, I question how much customization you'll actually get to do (I want 30 loopty-loops in a row!), or how much you should actually trust a child with anyway (100% of 0). Just saying, I have the feeling a lot of coasters are gonna end with a giant robotic arm slamming you into the ground repeatedly. YOU KIDS WILL NEVER BE IMAGINEERS!
Hit the jump for a better shot of the last thing you'll ever climb inside.
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Oct 12 2009 Good Ideas: Roofie Detecting Lip Balm
2 Love My Lips is $16 lip gloss that comes with test strips to determine if your drink has been roofied with drugs like GHB or Ketamine. It's a smart idea and I urge everyone to keep a close eye on their beverages at all times (and not just because I'll ninja-drink that shit, but I 100% will).
"If a drink tastes funny, or you are suspicious something is amiss simply dab the ends of the taper in your drink and if they turn blue tell your friends immediately and get help from Security and the Police."
Seriously, roofies are no laughing matter and if you suspect your drink's been spiked I want you to ask me to chug it. BECAUSE I WOULD DO THAT FOR YOU. Knight in shining armor? No, I'm trying to forget that bad.
Oct 1 2009 Looks Safe To Me: A Power Line Bridge
This is a picture of Philippine residents using power lines as a bridge in wake of the recent Typhoon Ketsana (bitch). EDIT: It is sad and Geekologie wishes everyone affected the best. Plus jetpacks.
Using Power Lines as a Bridge Seems Incredibly Dangerous [gizmodo]
Sep 23 2009 Sure, Why Not?: Neon Tetris On Skateboards
This is a video of 36 skateboarders playing a game of human Tetris on some hill in San Francisco while wearing giant neon shapes on their heads. Except it's not actually Tetris because not all of them are rocking tetrominoes. No, some of those mothers got damn pentominos on their heads. And I'm not talking the little red bits in olives! But, damnit, now I want olives. Shit, and some artichoke hearts. Fun fact: Jesus once turned an olive branch into a magic wand and banished hate from an evil sorcerer's heart. Then he did the water into wine thing and everybody had a good time. Plus, there was live music. You can't beat that.
Thanks to Duncan, who once tried playing Frogger on a skateboard and lost.
Sep 3 2009 Ouch: Helping Hands Condom Applicator
This is a commercial for the Helping Hands condom applicator. And, after seeing it, I'd trust a fire-breathing dragon with a toothache to be gentler. And I'm not just saying that because I'm trying to get some, but, well, dragons and dinosaurs ARE related.
Helping Hands Condom Applicator Makes Me Shrivel Up in Fear [gizmodo]
Aug 28 2009 Real Life Mario Kart Go-Kart Is Super Scary
This is a video of a go-kart with a Honda CBR 900RR motorcycle engine in it. It's the closest thing to a real Mario Kart I've ever seen. I love how the guy driving doesn't even bother wearing a helmet. Because, honestly, heads are overrated, especially when you're drifting into a curve at a billion miles an hour. I guess what I'm trying to say is this: I would have turbo-boosted through those turns, nancy boy!
900RR Go Kart is pure awesome [videosift]
Thanks deadbodyman -- say, you mind helping me get rid of this thing in my trunk?
Aug 21 2009 Safety First: A Chain Mail Chess Set
This is a chess set made out of chain mail. It is impervious to arrows and sword attacks. Which is good because a lot of times I like to threaten my opponents with weapons while we're playing. You know, to keep them on their toes (beat me and you're dead). You ever been maced in the face before? I'm talking about the spikey ball not the spray. That shit hurts like a mother. But not half as bad as getting trebuchet'ed in the taint. AND I CAN MAKE THAT DREAM A REALITY. Checkmate.
Hit the jump for a bunch more shots.
Aug 2 2009 You Did It Wrong: Building Demolition Fail
This is a video of a building demolition in Turkey (arguably my favorite country on rye) gone horribly wrong. Now I'm not saying I could have done better, but I totally could have. With fireworks.
Thanks to Lord Tarl, who once imploded a building simply by looking at it funny (and secretly pushing the detonator).
Jul 3 2009 Happy 4th Of July Weekend! *BOOM BOOM*
Dearest Reader,
Those were fireworks at the end of the title in case you couldn't tell. *BOOM BOOM* Oh, there went some more! Anyway, this is an incredible *BOOM* cute stop motion video from PES, whose work is always amazing. Now, everyone get out there and have a safe and firework-y holiday. And if my next post doesn't make any sense -- I'm typing with stumps. WHEE!
Love,
Your Geekologie Writer
Thanks to Towhee Monster, who's a little firecracker herself.
