Nov 6 2009 Dolores: Germany's Hairless Spectacled Bear

Ever wonder what a bear with no hair would look like? This. Poor Dolores has lost her coat. She's a bare bear! I know, sometimes my word wizardry amazes even me.

Vets have been left baffled by the condition of the bespectacled bear, who lives at a zoo in Leipzig.

And Dolores isn't the only one. The sudden hair loss has affected all female bears at the zoo.

Some experts believe it could be due to a genetic defect though the animals do not seem to be suffering from any other affliction.

The bears, which originate from South America, normally have fluffy dark brown fur and would now be growing a thicker fur coat to keep warm during the winter.

Well Rogaine those bitches or something -- this shit ain't right! As much as I do love hunting bears and killing the shit out of them WITH MY BEAR HANDS (more word sorcery), bald bears make me sad as hell. Remember Fuzzy Wuzzy? Brings a tear to my eye.

Hit the jump for three more shots, including one of what Dolores normally looks like.

Continue Reading " Dolores: Germany's Hairless Spectacled Bear "

Oct 26 2009 Homeless Style: Cardboard Print Bed Covers

Ever wanted a bedspread that's printed to look like a bunch of cardboard boxes taped together? Who hasn't!? And one that looks like a snake pit, am I right? No -- just me? What the hell's the matter with you people?

This high quality duvet cover features a photographic print of a cardboard box. This produces an extremely sharp image that stays flexible because the ink is printed directly in the cotton. The image will stay crisp after frequent washing.

The cotton has a thread count of 144 threads per square inch, so it's soft to the touch virtually non-iron. The duvet cover is produced in Pakistan and child labour is not used.

30% of the gross profits go to Centrepoint, the UK charity for homeless young people aged 16-25 (charity number 292411). Every night Centrepoint provides support and housing for 800 vulnerable homeless young people.

I actually kind of like it, and $81 for a king size ain't bad (plus $10/pillowcase). Of course, you're going to have a lot of explaining to do if you try bringing a girl home. Namely, why there's a homeless person sleeping in your room. I'm a drifter, okay?!

Product Site

Thanks to Closet Nerd, who made a quilt out of trashbags but it blew away and got stuck on top of a light pole.

Oct 22 2009 DO NOT WANT (To Pet): Chinese 'Cat Girl'

Normally I love making fun of other people's misfortune, but it's sad when it's a six year old girl. Hopefully this is fake though cause it's coming from The Sun. Although, this IS China we're talking about here, which is notorious for freaky cat shit.

Li Xiaoyuan, from Fengkai in southern China, had a small birthmark on her back just months ago, which has since grown to cover her entire back and parts of her arms and face, The Sun reports.

"None of the other children want to play with her, they are calling her cat-girl and are really mean."

A surgeon at Zhaoqing City Dermalogical l Hospital in China's Guangdong province said Li Xiaoyuan may have a rare skin disease that makes normal moles run amok.

I swear, I can't stand it when moles run amok. You know what you need to do? Pour gasoline down all their holes then light that shit. BOOM! Woops -- must have found the gas line. Remember folks: call before you dig.

Chinese 'cat-girl' baffles doctors [ninemsn]

Thanks to Sam, Turtle Boy.

Oct 14 2009 Live Action Mario, Lou Albano, Dies At 76

Some of you whippersnappers may be too young to remember the awesomeness that was the Super Mario Bros. Super Show, a 52-episode series that come out in '89. But I do, because it was on tv, and tv was my only friend (plus on Fridays there were Zelda cartoons!).

Wrestling fans know him as the WWE Hall of Famer who managed more than 50 wrestlers in his day, with more than two dozen championships won by athletes taken under his wing. 80's music fans might remember him from his appearances in many Cyndi Lauper music videos, including "Girls Just Want To Have Fun", "She Bop", "Time After Time" and "The Goonies 'R' Good Enough." As gamers, we of course remember him as the best live-action Mario of all time.

Sadly, Lou Albano passed away today at 76. He will be missed.

Opening credits to the show on Youtube HERE.
Entire show HERE.

Live-Action Mario Dead At 76 [kotaku]

Thanks to Doctor Steel, Aisha and Gabriel, who promise to send flowers to the funeral. Good looking, guys -- but they better be fireball flowers and not Piranha plants.

Oct 14 2009 More Spork Art: This Time A Human Carcass!

After yesterday's Plasticdragon, loyal Geekologie Reader Ashley wrote to inform me that he and his art group recently created a similar figure. Except, instead of a dragon, it's a dead-ass body!

This is a piece we did at Uni early this year and I just saw your feature article on the plastic dragon. The skeleton has been getting some nice features so thought you might be interested! :) It was a comment on the ironic contrast between our disposable fast-food culture and the problem of world famine. This received a D&AD Commendation at the '09 Awards.

Well done, Ashley. I'd like to take this time to point out that I, for one, am 100% against world famine. Now I know that I usually try to avoid getting political, but I firmly believe that all people should eat food. Except the fatties. They should exercise.

Hit the jump for three closeups.

Continue Reading " More Spork Art: This Time A Human Carcass! "

Oct 13 2009 Power Wheels Modded Into Halo Warthog

I was never allowed to have a Power Wheels growing up because my parents were too afraid I'd back over my own head, but that's neither here not there, it's just one of the reasons I have parent issues. Anyway, some lucky tyke's father went and modded his to look like a Warthog from Halo. Sweet!

Fortunately, thanks to the folks at Bungie, we're all that much more knowledgeable about the DIY Power Wheels modder set. All it took was one M12 Light Reconnaissance Vehicle--better known as the Warthog--fashioned from the guts of a Power Wheels miniature truck--a "very used 2001 G3740 Street Scene Silverado," according to its creator.

That creator, flux83, has done a capable job of turning that Silverado into a teeny-tiny Warthog that looks to seat a maximum of two wee Spartans.

OMG how different my life would've been if only I'd had a Warthog Power Wheels growing up! I probably would have been popular in school and maybe even had a girlfriend. And you know what having a girlfriend means! Nagging, LOTS of nagging. Oooooh, swift burn to the ladies!

Hit the jump to see a video of the awesomeness in action and a link to the build page.

Continue Reading " Power Wheels Modded Into Halo Warthog "

Oct 8 2009 Wow, That Was Sad: Tree Electrocutes Itself

This is a video of a tree which, unable to cope with the unruly birds and squirrels that have taken up residence in its branches, has decided to off itself with the help of a nearby power line. It's almost as painful to watch as your apartment building going up in flames because you were trying to grow pot in your closet. Almost. NOT THAT I'D KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THAT. Pfft, I went to D.A.R.E.!

Tree Electrocutes Self [collegehumor]

Thanks to NUTZBABIE, who I would probably steer clear of.

Oct 5 2009 Wait, What?: Fake Virginity Kits For Sale

I don't even know what to say, except this makes me sad about the women in the world who are stoned and fed to dragons if they're not virgins when they're married. And you thought I was a heartless asshole.

No more worry about losing your virginity. With this product, you can have your first night back anytime. Insert this artificial hymen into your vagina carefully. It will expand a little and make you feel tight. When your lover penetrate, it will ooze out a liquid that look like blood not too much but just the right amount. Add in a few moans and groans, you will pass through undetectable. Its easy to use, clinically proven non-toxic to human and has no side effects, no pain to use and no allergic reaction.

Wow, did I really just read that? Because now I don't feel so good. The $30 kit ships from China and I suspect is manufactured using recycled condoms. Plus, I don't even know what. [Insert something here while I cry and puke at the same time]

Product Site

Thanks to Michael and The webcam in your monocle, who can't tell the difference between a virgin and a hole in the wall. Literally, no idea.

Oct 1 2009 Looks Safe To Me: A Power Line Bridge

This is a picture of Philippine residents using power lines as a bridge in wake of the recent Typhoon Ketsana (bitch). EDIT: It is sad and Geekologie wishes everyone affected the best. Plus jetpacks.

Using Power Lines as a Bridge Seems Incredibly Dangerous [gizmodo]

Sep 28 2009 Sadness: LEGO House Gets Demolished

The LEGO house built by James May for his BBC program Toy Stories was recently demolished after nobody stepped forward to buy and preserve the plastic abode. I would have, but I don't have the money. Or pants (pants? where I'm going I don't need pants). I'm going back to the past! Anyway, this is a little gallery of the demolition. Allegedly the blocks (which were actually donated by LEGO) are going to be used for charity builds in the future. So yeah, that's a silver lining. But not a silver panty liner! Which, haha, HORF HORF HORF HORF HORF.

Hit the jump for several more shots of the sadness.

Continue Reading " Sadness: LEGO House Gets Demolished "

Aug 24 2009 Sadness: Father Leaves Copy Of Call Of Duty: World At War For Fallen Soldier Son

So yeah, this is sad. Private Richard Hunt, the 200th U.K. soldier to die in Afghanistan, was buried over the weekend. He would have been 22 yesterday.

His father Phillip, enjoyed playing Call of Duty: World at War with his son. He left a copy of the game at his grave.

"Happy Birthday 'Hunty'. Play you again one day. Dad."

Wow, that tore me up.

Dad's Tribute: Call of Duty on Soldier Son's Grave [kotaku]

Thanks to Solozaur, whose single tear splattered F10.

Aug 13 2009 RIP: Les Paul Has Left The Recording Studio

Les Paul, famed musician and inventor, has passed away.

Les Paul, who invented the solid-body electric guitar later wielded by a legion of rock 'n' roll greats, died Thursday of complications from pneumonia. He was 94.

With Mary Ford, his wife from 1949 to 1962, he earned 36 gold records for hits including "Vaya Con Dios" and "How High the Moon," which both hit No. 1. Many of their songs used overdubbing techniques that Paul had helped develop.

As an inventor, Paul also helped bring about the rise of rock 'n' roll with multitrack recording, which enables artists to record different instruments at different times, sing harmony with themselves, and then carefully balance the tracks in the finished recording.

Wow, talk about changing the face of music. Good lookin', Les. Here's to joining that great jam session in the sky.

R.I.P.

Guitar legend-inventor Les Paul dies at age 94 [yahoonews]

Aug 12 2009 "We Don't Date N00bs, We PWN Them!"

This is a video about the problems associated with dating a World of Warcraft n00b when you come from a L337 family. Namely, that your parents won't approve of the relationship. Sadly, watching this video reminded me of the time when I started dating one of those RealDolls a supermodel. I miss you, Silicon Sally hot supermodel with a real name, we just came from two different worlds.

College Humor

Thanks to jessica, Robert and jack, who PWN both n00bs and non00bs with equal dexterity.

Aug 7 2009 The Most Romantic Love Letter Ever Written

Jessica, you'd be a fool not to marry this guy. I mean, Star Wars references aside, just look at that penmanship! I'll bet you he was at least a solid B student in writing class. And if you won't have him, I will.

Dear Letter Writer,

You know that thing you said about crawling inside Jessica like a tauntaun? I want you to do that to me. Bring your lightsaber.

Love,

The Geekologie Writer

Star Wars Love Letter [emailsfromcrazypeople]

Thanks to G, who prefers Star Trek themed love letters.

Aug 4 2009 Voltromas The Transforming Tank Engine

I like trains, and not just because they go CHOO CHOO. I also like the hobos that jump on them! THAT'S ENOUGH FOR ME, OKAY? Anyway, this is a Thomas the Tank Engine/Voltron mashup toy available from Singapore for around $8. It is in no way shape or form licensed or legal. But it is cool. Everybody's calling it a Transformer but it is clearly a throwback to Voltron. Who, despite being a robot, I still liked as a child because he was rainbow colored and, damnit, I'm a sucker for a rainbow. One time I even got a girlfriend to dress up as Rainbow Bright on Halloween. And not to brag, but she did go home with the handsomest pirate at the party. I was one sad ninja turtle. :(

Hit the jump for a couple more shots.

Continue Reading " Voltromas The Transforming Tank Engine "

Aug 4 2009 Goodbye Cruel World: Snuggies For Dogs

Snuggies for dogs. Or, "Why the Geekologie Writer had a staring match with an oncoming train and lost on purpose." $15 plus $8 shipping gets you a dog Snuggie, a recordable dog tag, and a complete loss of respect for your dog. Just pay additional shipping and you'll get two of each! Act now and I'll even knee you in the genitals -- FREE! And you will like it. YES SIR, MAY I HAVE ANOTHER? You may!

Product Site

Thanks to David, who loves his dog too much to do this to it. Right, David? RIGHT?!

Jul 25 2009 Lil' Anakin Skywalker Hates Star Wars, Sort Of

This is an interview with Jake Lloyd, the kid that played little Anakin Skywalker in Star Wars: Episode One (ten years ago!) talking about the effect being in the film has had on his life. SPOILER ALERT: Apparently he got made fun of in school and is blamed for ruining the movie. It made me kind of sad. I mean, I didn't cry or anything, but I did burn an effigy of George Lucas and cast a spell.

The Force Is Not With Him: Anakin Skywalker 10 Years Later [yahoomovies]

Thanks to FDSY and manders, who are thankful they weren't child actors, because now their lives would be all effed up.

Jul 23 2009 Kill Me Now: Star Wars Dance Contest Uncut

This is an uncut video of the Star Wars Weekends dance contest that we saw part of yesterday. Except, instead of 47 seconds, this one is 12 minutes. Personally, I could only make it to 1:50, when the woman says "Give it up for Chewbacca, the original gangstaaa!". Although, admittedly, I did skip around after to see if Leia makes an appearance in a golden bikini (she doesn't). So yeah, I dare you to try to watch the whole thing without putting your face through your monitor...
...
...
You broke your nose, didn't you?

Youtube

Thanks to Vince, who knows how to cut a rug. With scissors, silly!

Jul 22 2009 Sadness: Lost iPhone Prototype Drives Chinese Factory Worker To Suicide

And in a bit of sad news, a Chinese factory worker jumped to his death after losing track of an iPhone prototype he was responsible for shipping to Apple.

The dead worker, Sun Danyong, 25, worked in product communications at Foxconn Technology Group, a Taiwanese firm that makes many Apple products at a massive factory in the southern city of Shenzhen, near Hong Kong.

Sun was responsible for sending iPhone prototypes to Apple, and on July 13 he reported that he was missing one of the 16 fourth-generation units in his possession, the newspaper reported. His friends said company security guards searched his apartment, detained him and beat him, the paper reported.

Apple Inc. responded Wednesday by saying its suppliers are required to treat workers with dignity and respect.

Blood phones, just sayin'.

Chinese Worker Kills Self Over Missing iPhone [foxnews]

Thanks to Gino, who would have just burned the factory to the ground to cover up the loss. Smart thinking.

Jul 22 2009 Wrong: Darth Vader Dancing To MC Hammer

Adding more delicious gasoline to my 'must sue Disney' fire, here's Darth Vader and a few stormtroopers dancing to MC Hammer's 'You Can't Touch This' at the Star Wars Weekends event at one of the theme parks. It pretty much desecrated my entire childhood in 47 seconds. And did anybody else feel the move Darth performed at 0:13 was a little inappropriate for children? Because I felt awkward and I'm just laying in bed watching this on Youtube.

Youtube

Thanks to Adam, Mindy and Mark, who can touch this. Go on, don't be afraid.