Oct 29 2009 Uh-Oh: Another Little Running, Jumping Robot
ROPID is a little robot created by Robo Garage (burn it down with an oily rag!) whose name combines the words 'robot' and 'rapid'. Very clever. Or should I say vever? I'm gonna stick with very clever. Anyway, this is a video of ROPID showing off his moves at a press conference. He (sometimes) responds to voice commands and can run (which technically isn't running, just walking fast), dance and jump. Plus look kinda cute. There, I said it -- just because you hate something with all your heart doesn't mean you can't find it beautiful. Take Edward Cullen for example.
ROPID Can Jump And Run, Almost [botjunkie]
Thanks to partychancer, fabian, Xkrimeg, Richthegringo, Harsh and Mira, who aren't ashamed to admit they've thought about what it would be like to be with a robot romantically. Bad move, guys -- burn them at the stake!
Oct 20 2009 Scientists Want to Develop Robotic Cheetah To Chase You Down, Dine On Your Carcass
Because life is progressively becoming a series of nightmares, scientists want to develop a robot that mimics the movement of a cheetah so they can chase us down and maul us to death. Why did I even get out of bed this morning? Oh, right. Well why did I even wake up this morning?
Professor Sangbae Kim designer of the Stickybot and a Robotic designer at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. Is trying to understand how he can replicate natural animal mechanisms by creating a robot inspired by the cheetah.
The idea is to build a prototype robot from a construction of lightweight carbon-fiber-foam that will then be able to match the cheetah's speed of 70 miles per hour.Over the next 18 months, Kim and four other MIT graduate students are going to start constructing the prototypes. Starting with a computer model of the robotic cheetah to establish the optimal limb length, weight, gait and torque of the hip and knee joints.
It's an ambitious project. Current wheeled robots are efficient, but can be slow in rough terrains. For instance, iRobot's PackBot, which is used by the U.S. military, can only travel at speeds of up to 5.8 miles per hour.
I'm sure this seemed like a good idea to somebody at some point, but it's not. Like I don't have enough to worry about without a 70 MPH cheetah-bot running around. Also, like four children. And you wonder why daddy drinks in bed all day!
Cheetah Inspired Robot [geekygadgets]
Thanks to Excaliber, who I will use to slice through these bastards like room temperature butter.
Aug 3 2009 Toyota Develops Running Humanoid Robot
Nice one, Toyota -- a running humanoid robot. Because that's just what we need. Please God tell me that's actually a person in a robot costume.
[The video] from Toyota demonstrates the running capabilities of the new humanoid robot. The robot takes a step every 340ms and has no contact with the ground for 100ms of that. Notice in the video how the robot remains balanced even after pushed by the human
Did you read that? Did that not sound like it was written by a robot? "...pushed by the human"? So eloquent. You know, robots DO make the best writers. BEEP BOOP BOP. Oh that? Nothing.
Toyota's running humanoid robot [make]
Thanks to Mih0, Matt and Pew Pew Jenkins, who can all run faster than the Gingerbread Man and are gonna need to when these things hit full production.
Jun 8 2009 Evading The Red Army: Russian Freerunning
Not to be outdone by wicked sickness that is ninja boy, this is an older video of some wicked Russian freerunning/climbing. It's pretty impressive and if I had even half those moves I would have spent a lot less in the slammer learning about love and relationships and bartering one's ass for cigarettes. Regardless, I think we can all agree that the world would be a much different place now if the Ruskies had this intelligence during the Cold War. Read: I'd be drinking vodka right now. Wait, I am drinking vodka right now. I HEART YOU RUSSIA!
Send me a bride.
Thanks to AmericanKGB, who may or may not be working both sides. I suspect he is.
Apr 30 2009 Good Eats: A Whole Chicken In A Can
Hungry? Yeah, but are you whole chicken in a can hungry? That's right folks, Sweet Sue's Canned Whole Chicken (without giblets) is an entire cooked chicken in a can (a big one). Equally perfect for camping trips or throwing up everywhere! Hit the jump to see an uncanning in progress, which will leave you wondering why you've ever eaten anything else. Then go get one. You'll be doubled over on the bathroom floor with the runs quicker than you can say "I think I ate the asshole"! Bon Appétit!
Hit it for the uncanning. Really makes me want one.
Mar 27 2009 Alfie Patten, You Are....Not The Father!
Remember Alfie Patten, the 13-year old that got his 15-year old girlfriend pregnant? Well, turns out he's not the father after all, and ogres really are the cheating whores I suspected. The fairy tales were true!
A DNA test showed a 13-year-old boy in Britain is not the father of a baby born to a 15-year-old he had unprotected sex with once.
Chantelle Stedman told Alfie Patten, who was 12 when he slept with her, he was her newborn daughter Maisie's father.At first Stedman said Patten was the only boy she had ever slept with, but soon after other teens came forward saying they too could be the baby's father, because they claimed to have had sex with the girl.
It is still not clear who the baby's father is.
Alfie, if you're reading, I have some advice: get your junk checked for funk and then WALK AWAY with clean hands and dong. Chalk it up as a life lesson and move on. Just be thankful you learned it now before you married the beast atop Mt. Bloodfang and were sealed to the ogre clan forever. Because that would suck. Now run, Alfie -- run as fast and far as those little child-sized feet and size 4's will take you! Also, no more sticking your penis in things until you're 30 and gainfully employed. And then only the change return slot in vending machines.
DNA test shows 13-year-old Alfie Patten is not a dad [heraldsun]
Thanks to darkfall13, Eva, Freddy, Sinclair and Romeo, who all know the only great sex is safe sex with dinosaurs.
Mar 10 2009 Hamster Jackets Harness Piezoelectricity
Finally. I say it's about damn time we fit our hamsters with little jackets that harness all the energy they're wasting when running incessantly in their little wheels. Also, we're harnessing the power of the wheel too, right?
To harness hamster power, the scientists sewed electricity-generating threads one-fiftieth the width of a human hair into a yellow jacket worn by the hamsters as they ran. A human-sized jacket, capable of powering an iPod, could be ready in as little as three years.
"This can totally be scaled up," said Zhong Lin 'ZL' Wang, who co-authored a paper describing the research in this month's issue of Nano Letters. "This is just the first step. The idea is that we would harvest energy from any body movement, from walking, breathing, from any kind of vibration."
Well shit, let's scale it up to dinosaurs then. I could design a hell of a piezo-electric jacket for a T-Rex. And, while I'm at it, maybe some intimates. I'm thinking something lacy with a few silk accents. Did somebody just say crotchless? I like the way you think!
Hamster jackets harness wheel-running power [msnbc]
Thanks to I Won't Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking My Juice on the Geekologie, who can run in his wheel for hours.
Mar 1 2009 Awww: Bizkit The Sleepwalking Dog
This is a video of Bizkit the sleepwalking dog. You should watch it, it's funny and sad at the same time. SPOILER ALERT: The dog sleepwalks into the wall. I originally thought it was cruel, but then watched the rest of the user's videos and they film the dog all the time, so I don't think they knew it would run into the wall. That said, I'm stealing Bizkit and starting a circus. DOOT DOOT DOODLE DOOT DOO DOO DOO DOOT. Cotton candy makes my clothes come off!
Hit the jump for a couple other videos of Bizkit, including one of some wicked sleep-standing action.
Nov 17 2008 The World's Best Exercise Machine
We've seen incarnations of the treadmill-cycle in the past, but this one really takes the cake. Mostly because you can run on that mother tandem. And there's nothing cooler than running on a treadmill with wheels directly behind another guy running on the same treadmill with wheels. Seriously, If this thing was any more awesome I'd sell my comic book collection just to invest in the company. But since it's not, I'm going to rob a liquor store. Party at my place later!*
*Guys must bring two girls for admittance. And no ugly ones!
The Most Pointless Exercise Machine of All Time [current]
Thanks to Karilyn and Michael, who both agree I look sexy as hell in my short running shorts.
Oct 24 2008 Walking House Can Run Away From Floods
Art collective N55 built a walking house complete with bathroom and kitchen that can start hoofing it should shit hit the proverbial air-exchanger. It was allegedly designed to move to higher ground should a flood hit Britain. WTF, do they not have mobile homes in England? And if not, I'm moving there.
Hit the jump for a couple more pictures and a video of the leggy bastard in action.
Oct 10 2008 Is It Too Late?: I'm Running For President!
I'm running for president. Click here to watch the amazing story of my rise to political prominence. Then go here to make the video with your own name. Or any other name. And it doesn't censor anything, so you can put whatever you want. At least I think so, but truthfully, I only tried Dick Dribblins.
2008 Election Coverage [tsgnet]
Thanks to Ryan and Hilda, who, with their votes combined, netted me a single vote -- Ryan ate his ballot.
Oct 9 2008 Human Vs. Zombie Tag A Growing Trend On College Campuses, Having Sex Declining
Apparently Human Vs. Zombie Tag (HvZ) is a growing trend on college campuses.
An HvZ game typically involves hundreds of students and runs 24 hours a day for days on end; dwindling numbers of humans try to fend off and outlast growing legions of zombies.
The rules are fundamentally simple: Zombie tags human, human becomes a zombie. Unlike movie zombies, with shambling walks and undead makeup, zombies in the game just wear headbands to distinguish them from armband-wearing humans. And they are free to sprint.
If you're a human, you can "stun" zombies for 15 minutes by hitting them with a Nerf gun or balled up sock (preferably stuffed with pennies). I dunno about all that, but, for the sake of unbiased reporting, I suppose I'll have to play before passing judgment.
UPDATE: I bit some bitch's arm off! Good times!
Hit the jump for a video of a game that actually made me feel embarrassed for the guy talking.
Continue Reading " Human Vs. Zombie Tag A Growing Trend On College Campuses, Having Sex Declining "
Aug 26 2008 Racing Across Azeroth In Real Life
Two guys made rigs that turns running on treadmills into their characters actually running through Azeroth. They made them by attaching a bike wheel with an optical mousepad and mouse to the treadmills. It's estimated that characters in the game run around 12MPH, but since the two didn't want to have simultaneous heart attacks, they rigged the system to only have to run 6MPH themselves for their characters to reach that 12MPH top speed. How did it work out? You'll have to watch the video after the jump to find out. But suffice it to say that even running at a paltry 6MPH, they were both dangerously close to myocardial infarctions. I hope all of you WoW players out there learn a valuable lesson from this. One about the benefits of performance enhancing drugs.
Hit the jump for a couple more shots and a video of the race.
Jun 27 2008 Toaster Launches Your Bread When It's Done
Freddie Yauner is a nutjob. A nutjob with a dream. A pretty lame dream. A dream of building The Highest Popping Toaster In The World. And here it is. It uses high-pressure CO2 and a mechanical arm to blast your toast through the ceiling and kill the woman in the apartment above yours that you swear must run on the freaking treadmill directly above your desk all day long. That's it, I'm going up there and screaming at her until she cries.
UPDATE: Damnit, she distracted me with a loaf of banana bread and I forgot what I went up there for. I think she's a witch.
Insane toaster launches your toast high into the air for some reason [dvice]
Thanks to Lee, king of problematic neighbors.
May 12 2008 Treadmill Bike Makes My Head Explode
Similar to last week's Naturmobil, the Treadmill Bike is half treadmill, half bicycle, and half ridamndiculous. The logic behind it made my head explode. Now my brain is exposed and one of the cats is licking it. Apparently the bike has been out for awhile, but since I have a penchant for the old, and I don't think it has been posted here before, KA-BOOM!, here it blows. Not much to say except I can't believe that guy is actually wearing a helmet -- the damn thing has a top speed of like 2.5 MPH (and that's if you're running like you want to have a heart attack). Horribly energy inefficient, the bike is also inefficiently priced at about $2,500. But can you really put a price on being the stupidest looking cyclist on the streets? Yes, $2,500.
A video of the bike inaction(!) after the jump.
Jan 2 2008 Titanium Springs Make Shoes Bouncier
The Titanium Spring Loaded Insoles from Hammacher Schlemmer have five titanium springs in each heel.
Built with five titanium springs that not only cushion and support the foot, these insoles return some of the energy of the downward footfall back up to the body for a "push off" with every stride. The titanium construction ensures the springs will never wear down or lose their shock-absorbing capability. Seven smaller springs under the ball of the foot further disperse the impact and cradle the foot.
All this for only $30! Sounds like it's too good to be true doesn't it? Well it is. I felt their marketing spiel clearly implied that these things give you the power to jump over buildings in a single leap. And that didn't happen. Nope, I didn't even make it over the holly bush in front of my parent's house. Talk about some false damn advertising. I'm suing Hammacher Schlemmer for the cost of Neosporin and Band-Aids.
Titanium Insoles Put A Space-Age Spring In Your Step [ohgizmo]
Aug 29 2007 Barefoot Running Shoes
Vibram's line of FiveFingers shoes (shouldn't that be FiveToes shoes?) are, um, unique. As an owner of Nike Air Rifts (that just have the big toe separated), I find these oddly appealing, yet disgustingly disgusting looking. I just hope none of my winter gloves catch sight of these things, because they'll fight them for being copycats. They sell for between $70-$100 and are allegedly great for all sorts of make believe sports like ChiRunning, Pose Method Running, and Bouldering. And, if they're anything like my barefoot style running shoes, they're even greater at smelling like ass.
Product Site [big thanks to Kendrick for the tip]
