Sep 10 2009 Military Experimenting With Airless Tires
We've known about airless tires for a while now here on Geekologie, but now the US military is getting involved and testing them sums of beaches out on some of their vehicles. But not their tanks -- they don't have any air to begin with, silly!
The advantages of airless tires are obvious: they can't be punctured and they never go flat. But it clearly takes a lot of science to get the proper material that can stand up to the pressure of a multi-ton military vehicle sitting on top of it.
Nice, military, but how about some REAL airless tires. I'm talking about hover wheels, bitches! I know that shit exists, we stole the technology from the aliens. GET OUT OF MY HEAD GOVERNMENT! Quick, somebody Reynolds Wrap me, STAT!
Jul 16 2009 The World's Most Perfectly Spherical Balls
Meteorologists at Australia's Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organization have created the world's most perfectly spherical balls out of silicon. Next, breasts.
This is one of the two most perfect spheres ever. Exactly one kilogram--Imperial units be damned forever--smooth to the nearest 0.0000000003 meter (1.18110236 × 10-8 inches), and round to within 0.00000005 meters (1.96850394 × 10-6 inches).
Nice try guys, but I've been told more than once that I, in fact, have the nicest set in the galaxy. Back me up in the comments, ladies.*
*Any unflattering comments will be deleted. I'm looking at you, Carol. And you, Josh.
Hit the jump for one more shot.
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Jun 7 2009 Geekologie Reader Makes Death Star Grill
Geekologie Reader Bryan, inspired by the post on rejected Star Wars products, went and made a Death Star Grill (complete with Star Destroyer handle!). And I, for one, would slap my Rebel meat all over it.
I started with two Weber grills and used the bottom portions because they were fairly spherical. I welded up the stand and fabricated the vent systems (there is a vent on the bottom also). The inside is painted in barbecue paint so it is safe to cook with. The outside is painted in engine enamel so it should be good to 500 degrees. I know it isn't perfect but it was a fun project. The grill is now up on eBay.com so check it out if you'd like your very own Death Star Grill!
Bidding starts at $50, and the grill is capable of cooking both Endor and dinner. *pew pew* Take that, tauntaun chops!
Hit the jump for another shot and links to Bryan's website and eBay auction.
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Mar 9 2009 Cloud Umbrella Looked Better As Rendering
The Cloud Umbrella is an umbrella that you blow up when it starts to rain using it's pump-handle. Then it looks like a cloud and all the passers-by get a laugh at the cleverness that is your umbrella. Just kidding. They wonder why you're carrying around bunch of white beach balls on the end of a stick. Also, seven years bad luck if you open it indoors. Speaking of which -- you know why you've had it so hard lately? Yeah, you remember that mirror I broke? Well, I told God you did it.
Cloud Umbrella keeps your head in the sky while you stay dry [dvice]
Feb 12 2009 The Universe Is Apparently A Big Metal Donut
And all along I thought was a little plastic danish. Shows you how much I know (read: everything). So yeah, ghost of Karl Sagan: I know you're reading this, feel free to chime in and back me up whenever you want.
At first, this polished object looks like an ordinary ring. But it's much more than that. This is a model of the universe, which, according to one increasingly popular theory, is not flat, circular, spherical or saddle-shaped, but more like a "3-torus," or doughnut shape. It's also a whole lot bigger then you may have imagined.
Look closer, and you'll notice a minuscule speck on this model. It looks like a tiny flaw at first, but upon closer inspection, you'll see it's a precise wine glass shape. That's us. The tiny area depicts the known universe, showing a timeline of its entire life, from the Big Bang starting at the glass's stem, expanding to where we live today.
I get it -- so what they're saying is that the known universe is a wine lover. So do you think it's a Merlot fan or more of a Chardonnay kind of universe? Mad Dog 20/20, huh? Awh yeah, I knew I was living here for good reason! Now stop hogging the bottle, Universe, Jesus you're a boozehound.
Mind-boggling model of the doughnut-shaped universe makes you feel really small [dvice]
Jan 5 2009 Conceptual Hydrogen Vehicle Is Questionable To Say The Least, Stupid To Say A Little More
The Ozone is a conceptual hydrogen fuel cell vehicle that looks like a coffee can. I can only assume it's the brainchild of a design student that stayed up all night snorting Adderall the day before their semester-project was due.
The vehicle works on hydrogen powered fuel cells and looks futuristic in every way possible. The body is encased between two giant wheels controlled by separate motors which are powered by fuel cells, though this two seater looks more like a design picked straight out of fantasy due to its semi transparent glass casing and controlled by joystick.
Eh. Nice try, budding designer, but if this thing is so futuristic, where are the rockets? Things are going to float in the future, not roll. It's time for a change. I mean, shit's been rolling since Ug pushed his cave-bitch down a hill. Now for your homework assignment I want you to go home and watch some Jetsons.
Ozone Hydrogen Powered Car with 2 Giant Wheels [tuvie]
Thanks to Carlos, who once made love to a chick with a jetpack on because he likes to live dangerously.
Dec 1 2008 The Testicle Cookbook: Cooking With Balls. Alternatively, Developing An Eating Disorder
Wow. Last week it was cooking with paste, and this week, actual balls. The Testicle Cookbook: Cooking with Balls is completely uncalled for and contains many delicious rocky mountain oyster recipes. An excerpt from the 'About The Author' section:
Ljubomir Erovic has been cooking testicles for over 20 years.
When not cooking or eating testicles, or helping others to do so, he now runs a company involved in the maintenance of medical and dental equipment.He is married with one daughter and one testicle.
*HORF* When will the insanity end? I completely understand the "waste not, want not" mentality of using all possible edibles on an animal, but the balls? Those things weren't made for eating -- they were made for necklaces. BLING!
Hit the jump to see how to properly peel a testicle and a testicle pizza. Both of which will make you puke if you've eaten recently. Cheers!
Oct 30 2008 Why?: The Samsonite O(MGWTFBBQ)BAG
The Samsonite OBAG is a rolling suitcase in which the two compartments remain level with the ground while the unit is pulled along. Because, let's face it, dizzy clothes are unhappy clothes. It can also easily be dragged up stairs or thrown down an elevator shaft. Unfortunately, high maneuverability comes at a cost: namely storage space. There isn't any. You might as well just pack a tire instead -- that's what I do. Leaves my clothes smelling nice and rubbery. Oh, and what's this -- hello spinner hubcap! *BLING*
Hit the jump for a bunch more pics.
Sep 18 2008 The First Glimpse Of An Actual Alien Planet
That's right folks, this is not the light at the end of the tunnel, it's a star and orbiting planet some 500 light years away.
While scientists have found numerous planets by detecting gravitational "wobble" in stars, "this is the first time we have directly seen a planetary mass object in a likely orbit around a star like our Sun," said the lead author of a paper about the discovery, David Lafrenière.
The planet is 3,106 trillion miles away and approximately 8x the size of Jupiter, but 11x further from its sun than Neptune is from ours. Interesting, very interesting. Being a town-renowned astronomer myself, I'll go ahead and spit some info about the planet that those pseudo-scientists that made the discovery failed to mention. Let's see here....round, yellowish-orange, significantly smaller than 1".
BAM! You just got Saganed!
Historic first look at an alien world, 3106 trillion miles away [dvice]
Sep 17 2008 Marble Maze Table Looks Fun, Expensive
Remember when you were a kid and your parents wouldn't let you have dessert until you ate everything on your plate even though they convinced you it was rattlesnake and Rocky Mountain oysters (fried bull nads). Yeah, that sucked. But at least you would have had some entertainment if you ate on this Marbelous dinner table. Certainly brings new meaning to the phrase (which my mom originated but was later stolen and altered by a popular rock band), "How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your balls?"
Hit the jump for a bunch of closeups of the table.
Aug 15 2008 Some Maroons Still Believe The Earth Is Flat
Idiots in the Flat Earth Society are still convinced the world is flat and lead-based paint is part of a well-balanced diet.
People are definitely prejudiced against flat-Earthers," Tennessee-based computer scientist and society member John Davis tells the BBC. "Many use the term 'flat-Earther' as a term of abuse, and with connotations that imply blind faith, ignorance or even anti-intellectualism."
Don't breed!
"The Earth is, more or less, a disc," states James McIntyre, a Briton who helps run the Flat Earth Society's Web site. "Obviously it isn't perfectly flat, thanks to geological phenomena like hills and valleys. It is around 24,900 miles in diameter.""The North Pole is central, and Antarctica comprises the entire circumference of the Earth," explains McIntyre. "Circumnavigation is a case of traveling in a very broad circle across the surface of the Earth."
Flat Earthers also believe the moon landing and photos of earth from space were faked, which is only true in the case of the moon landing. But what I don't get is: if Antarctica surrounds the entire circumference of the earth, what's on the other side of that? Is it all ice? Is it candy land? Is it the dark side of the earth? Does my doppelgänger live there? Do you think he blogs too? If I meet him will I really die? Can I dig a hole to the other side and find out? Will you help? Come on, I'll show you my tits.
Believers In Flat Earth Not About to Change Minds [foxnews]
Thanks to Sam, who's smart enough to know the world is a cone.
Jun 20 2008 Here Grandma, I Got You A Pretty Snow Globe
Snow globes are glass spheres filled with little scenes and some plastic snow that whirls around when you shake the thing. These ones just happen to be filled with very unusual scenes. Like, well, a police officer putting a bullet in some dude's melon. There's a shit-ton more after the jump, which I suggest you peruse because I just spent like thirty hundred billion hour-years editing them and posting them for you. They were all made by artists Walter Martin and Paloma Munoz and are part of a limited edition of 250 pieces. Each goes for about $750.
These two artists have been working together since 1993. They sculpt miniature figures set in snowy outside scenes that depict sometimes horrible situations. Each snow globe tells a story and it's up to the viewer to fill in the blanks of those stories. Some of these miniature people seem trapped in a fairy-tale like story.
So what's the story behind the scene in that globe? My guess is an officer is practicing his close range shooting skills on the back of some guy's head while another copper watches and, quite possibly, gets aroused. Freaking classic, just like mom used to read me before bed.
Hit the jump for a ton more (men throwing kids down a well, gun toting grandmas, etc.) and feel free to fill in the stories if you want.
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Apr 15 2008 RC Car Does 200+ MPH, Is Moderately Fast
This is an older video of a tether car doing 200+ MPH on a circular track. At first I thought the guy in the video was participating in a bat-spin race, but then I realized he was whipping the car around to get it started. Watch the video till the end to see the thing really get up to speed. Pretty impressive. Now I'm not suggesting someone stick their leg out in front of it to see what happens when the car or wire hits it, but for the sake of science it is necessary to know whether you can cut a person's leg clean off with an RC car.
Mar 3 2008 Rotating Home Theater Is Riciculous, I Want
This home theater system has a 16-foot motorized circle in the middle on which the front row of chairs is attached. The idea behind the rotation is that when you're not watching something on the screen, the room should still be able to be used for chatting or drinking champagne and shooting foxes or whatever the hell it is rich people do. I call shenanigans though. If you check out the other picture after the jump, if the front row is rotated around, all you're facing is two other chairs and the freaking door. What's the purpose of that? Let's be honest -- anybody with the money for a rotating home theater doesn't need for it to double as some other room. You can just have more rooms built. This person just wanted a damn rotating platform in their house and couldn't come up with a better excuse.
One more picture after the jump.
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