Nov 6 2008 20 Years Of Research For This?: Scientists Develop Way To Grow Blue Roses, People With Incurable Diseases Do Not Rejoice

After much trial and tribulation, scientists have finally developed a safe way to grow blue roses. What was wrong with just putting white roses in a vase of water dyed blue with food coloring? Pfft, that's some unscientific bullshit, that's what.

The blooms are genetically modified and have been implanted with a gene that simulates the synthesis of blue pigment in pansies. "They are attracting lots of attention here because they are so unusual."

The creation of blue roses - long thought to be impossible - was masterminded by an Australian-based subsidiary of Suntory, a Japanese company.

A blue rose has long been synonymous with the unattainable, from signifying unrequited love in Chinese folklore to its Victorian era connotations of symbolizing a quest for the impossible.

Well thank Jesus. Finally I'll be able to sleep at night knowing scientists may not have cured cancer, but, screw it, roses now come in blue. Your rose color lesson for the day:

Red: Love. Alternatively: I cheated on you.
Pink: Gratitude. Alternatively: I cheated on you with the secretary. Twice.
Orange: Desire. Alternatively: I want somebody else but they're not having it, so l'd like to continue doing you in the interim.
Yellow: Friendship. Alternatively: you have a butter face.
White: Purity. Alternatively: I know you're a filthy whore, but let's pretend anyways.
Lavander: Enchantment. Alternatively: you should be burned at the stake!
Blue: Mystery. Alternatively: f*** you.

World's first blue roses after 20 years of research [telegraph]

Thanks to Momboelitist, who only sends black roses. And then stabs you.

Jul 21 2008 B21 Kitchen Robot (AKA: The Kitchen Killer)

The B21 Kitchen Robot was designed to know where everything in your kitchen is via RFID tagging and help you prepare meals. In reality, the robot will probably just stab you. The blue barrel bastard was created by the Technical University of Munich and even has the capability to learn how to use new tools (read: knives, read: oh freaking great).

(By using RFID tags) the robot knows where everything is, and it can learn simple tasks simply by observing the movements of the objects.

"Setting the table is very easily recognized from cups and plates disappearing from the cupboard and appearing on the table, and cleaning up later is characterized by the same objects disappearing from the table and appearing in the dishwasher."

The team is also working to integrate a number of open-source software packages to enable the robots to get instructions from the internet, in the same way that some search for images.

Oh yeah, that's just what I need -- a robot that's getting instructions from the interwebs. So let me get this straight: There's a robot in my kitchen. It knows where the knives are, and it's being controlled by someone whose goal is to type F1RST! in the comments? Thanks, but I'll just keep my wife chained to the stove. Damnit, hold on.

I SAID OVER EASY!

Robot chef gets a boost from wireless kitchen [newscientist]

Thanks Bo, now I have to destroy my kitchen so there's nowhere for this evil bastard to live.