Sep 16 2009 We're Saved!: Astronomers Discover Solid Planet Outside Of Our Solar System
Unfortunately, it's solid lava and has a daytime temperature of 3,600 degrees Fahrenheit. Still, I'd live there. With Satan. You hear that, my fiery little bitch? I SAID LIGHT THE GRILL.
As scientists search the skies for life elsewhere, they have found more than 300 planets outside our solar system. But they all have been gas balls or can't be proven to be solid. Now a team of European astronomers has confirmed the first rocky extrasolar planet.
The planet is called Corot-7b. It was first discovered earlier this year. European scientists then watched it dozens of times to measure its density to prove that it is rocky like Earth. It's in our general neighborhood, circling a star in the winter sky about 500 light-years away. Each light-year is about 6 trillion miles.
Well folks, it's been real. But I think it's time for your Geekologie Writer to hit the big red 'BLAST-OFF' button and shoot himself to Corot-7b. And like that saying goes, "Shoot for the moon. Even if you make it, your dad will still call you a failure."
Found: Firm place to stand outside solar system [yahoonews]
May 26 2009 Modern Fossils: When A Dino Bone Won't Do
Christopher Locke makes modern fossils using gadgets of yesteryear and concrete. Then he sells them to make a profit because he's smart and doesn't want to hold a real job. I'm with you, Chris.
The modern Fossils are made from actual archaic technology that was once cutting-edge. Most of these examples were discovered in the United States, although the various species are represented all over the world.
In a special process, these items are reproduced in a proprietary blend of concrete and other secret ingredients, giving them the look and feel of real stone fossils. Each fossil is made one at a time, by hand, in an individual mold.
Depending on the species, expect to pay between $65-$100 per fossil. Or, make your own with a bag of concrete and a broken controller. Here, I'll even give away Chris's secret ingredients: rocks and sand. GO GO GO!
Hit the jump to see a bunch more and a link to the product page.
Continue Reading " Modern Fossils: When A Dino Bone Won't Do "
Apr 28 2009 Rocks: Not Just For Christmas Anymore
As a guy who's no stranger to receiving a sockful of coal on Christmas morning, I wouldn't be surprised to open a birthday present and see the same thing. Thankfully, nobody bothers remembering my birthday anymore. But a Florida mother got pissed when she bought her son a $138 Nintendo DS from Wal-Mart, only to find out the box was full of rocks and a couple pieces of wadded Chinese newspaper (to prevent the fragile rocks from breakage). Wow, porno-laden PSP, you got nothin' on this.
The troubling discovery prompted the Florida woman to contact the local Wal-Mart where she bought the curious box and complain, but reportedly workers there told her it wasn't their problem and that she should contact Nintendo instead. Of course, Nintendo told her roughly the same thing, leaving mother and son with a $138 box of rocks.
Amazingly enough, however, Wal-Mart soon caved after learning that the same box of rocks had been previously returned by another disgruntled customer. How exactly it made it back onto store shelves remains a mystery, but for her troubles, Wykle was given a full refund and a $20 gift card.
Yes, what a mystery. We better call Sherlock Holmes in for this head-scratcher. I mean, WTF? You think a Keebler Elf broke out of a box of cookies, hiked all the way to the electronics department, and restocked the system in the middle of the night? Because that's what I'm leaning towards.
Florida teen finds rocks in Nintendo DS box [yahoonews]
and
$138 box of rocks?? [wtsp]
Thanks to Huevo and Lisa, who once had a shopping cart race in Wal-Mart and accidentally ran over the greeter.
Apr 4 2009 Breakfast Of The Ancients: Baconhenge
Baconhenge is what the ancients ate for breakfast before battling the shit out of each other with rocks and tree branches. Also, sacrificing virgins to the potato gods and dancing around with gourds on their junk (trust me, I mistakenly sat in on an anthropology class when I was high). So, what's in the delicious meal? Basically a bunch of bacon-wrapped French toast sticks standing in a dozen-egg frittata. Mmmm.
Let Baconhenge be the site of your seasonal celebration! Let bacon stand in for the sacrificed Year King, French toast for the Grain Goddess, the eggs in the frittata for the Cosmic Egg, and the vegetables for the bountiful Earth on which we live.
Yeah, you could do that. Or just eat it because it's freaking delicious. Bon Appétit! Or, as we say here in the U.S., Bon Appéboob.
Hit the link for the entire recipe.
Baconhenge [theanticraft]
Thanks to Steve, who got an immediate Bon Appéboner when he saw Baconhenge in real life.
Mar 5 2009 Little Moon Spotted Hiding In Saturn's Rings
Saturn, the second largest moon-whore in the solar system (behind Jupiter), has been caught hiding another trick in one of it's outer rings. What a slut!
The discovery of what appeared to astronomers as a faint, moving pinprick of light, was announced by the International Astronomical Union.
The international Cassini spacecraft spotted the small moon, which measures about a third of a mile wide.
Pfft -- 1/3 mile wide? That ain't no moon. That ain't even a moonlet. That, my friends, is a moonatoid. Come get some, Pluto!
'Moonlet' Found in Outer Saturn Ring [discovery]
Thanks to tarastars, who once stole a moon from Neptune and sold it at a yard sale to buy a video game.
Feb 16 2009 Digging Is Fun!: Backyard Toy Time Capsule
If there's one thing my grandpappy taught me it's how to make gin in the bathtub. And, if there's another, it's how to bury your money in coffee cans. So he would probably scoff at paying $20 for the Backyard Safari Underground Time Capsule. And, to make matters worse, you're only supposed to bury the POS six inches under the ground so you can still fill it with more garbage via the fake rock screw-off lid. Hey kids, I've got news for you: if I see a fake rock in your yard, I'm digging that shit up and stealing your G.I. Joes and love letters from Susie Q Heartbreak. And, if it turns out to just be a house key hiding rock, I'm letting myself in and kicking your ass! Happy President's Day!
Underground Time Capsule perfect for hiding things in the dirt [dvice]
Dec 1 2008 Meteor Fragments Found, Geekologie Writer Plans To Pilfer And Sell On eBay
Remember the meteor that PEW PEWed over Canada last week? Well a bunch of the fragments have finally been located by scientists. So what I'm going to do is grab one of the guys, beat the whereabouts of said fragments out of him, liberate the stones, and then sell those mothers on eBay for a hefty profit! It's the American way. In Canada. It's the Americanadian way!
U of C planetary scientist Dr. Alan Hildebrand and graduate student Ellen Milley announced Friday morning they located several meteorite fragments late Thursday afternoon. They believe thousands of meteorite bits are strewn over 20 square kilometers near the Battle River.
Friday afternoon, they led a group of reporters to the site -- a region called Buzzard Coulee, about 40 kilometres from Lloydminster Reporters were told those observations, combined with the physical evidence, give scientists a treasure trove of data that could give them a better understanding of the solar system.
Haha, I didn't have to beat up the scientist after all. Woops. Anyway, what is this about a better understanding of the solar system? I'll tell you everything you need to know about the solar system in three sentences: It's big. It has a bunch of shit in it, but it's all pretty spread out with lots of nothing in between. Sometimes stuff busts all up into earth's atmosphere and goes buck-ass wild in here. Seriously, just ask the dinosaurs. OH HO -- that's right, they're all dead! My God were they sexy though.
Meteorite pieces found in Saskatchewan [cbcnews]
Thanks to Larry, who made fun of me for crying during The Land Before Time. Also, Dan smells.
Nov 24 2008 PEEEW!: Meteor Blasts Over Canada
A brilliant meteor shone its alien light over Alberta and Saskatchewan at approximately 5:30 p.m. last Thursday.
[The meteor] likely weighed between one and 10 tons and shone brightly enough to be seen over an area 700 km (435 miles) wide.
"It was somewhere between the size of a chair to the size of a desk," said Alan Hildebrand, a planetary scientist at the University of Calgary and a coordinator of a fireball reporting service.
Well damn, you think there were any aliens aboard that mother? I dunno, but rest assured I'll be sleeping underwearless tonight to find out. Report tomorrow.
UPDATE: We aren't alone. Wait a minute -- this is just a broken television antennae!
Meteor lights up skies over Western Canada [yahoonews]
Sep 9 2008 How To Really Make Drinks 'On The Rocks'
ZOMG now you can really make drinks 'on the rocks'. You just chill these special Nordic Rocks in the freezer before use, and presto, they keep your drink cold! A set of ten costs about $29 and are sure to scratch your glass and f*** your teeth. $29? I mean seriously, I can get rocks from the yard.
UPDATE: Mmmm, scotch and mud on the rocks. Oh, and what's this -- I got a roly-poly!
stone ice cubes really put your drinks on the rocks [technabob]
Jul 28 2008 Wait, What?: 25 Gesture Rock-Paper-Scissors
PRS 25 is rock-paper-scissors with 25 different gestures, also known as rock, paper, scissors, gun, dynamite, nuke, devil, laser, alien, moon, snake, sponge, cardboard, spoon, candle, dragon, geekologie writer, bowl, water, magic, dagger, tank, air, something, nachos, leopard, something, etc.. If 25 gestures is too many for you, there is also standard rock-paper-scissors and 5, 7, 9, 11, and 15 gesture varieties (and a mind-boggling 101-gesture version HERE). I like some of the explanations for why one particular sign beats another. Like, "Rock crushes woman", "Monkey flings poop at woman", and "Woman has sex with dragon". Okay, I made that last one up, but I did see it in a movie once. And that movie, my friends, was Harry Potter.
RPS-25 [newgrounds]
Thanks SomeGeek, you beat me again.
May 30 2008 Battery Powered Robot Climbs Grand Canyon
The Evolta Robot is the mascot for Panasonic's new Evolta batteries. He's cute, has a wonky eye, and can climb.
The company says the new battery cell -- called Evolta, combining "evolution" and "voltage" -- can keep gadgets running 20 percent longer than offerings from rivals Duracell and Energizer.
Guinness World Records certified Evolta as "the longest-lasting AA alkaline battery cell," based on testing under guidelines set by the industry's International Electrotechnical Commission this year.
To prove the long-lastingness of his batteries, the 5-ounce, 7-inch robot climbed a rope dangling in the Grand Canyon for as long as he could. When his batteries finally crapped out, he had climbed 1,740 feet over the span of 6 hours, 46 minutes. I watched the whole thing and I've gotta say -- it was freaking boring.
Battery-Powered Robot Climbs Rope for 7 Hours in Grand Canyon, Sets Guinness World Record [foxnews]
Thanks Shawn and Dan, now one of you yank his batteries, I'm not going anywhere near that deceptively cute deathbot
Mar 24 2008 More Robots Of The Coming Apocalypse
In the near future the planet will be ruled by robots and any surviving humans will live huddled in caves crying about how it was a bad idea to create them in the first place. So yeah, be warned. This is a video of a climbing robot. It looks friendly and harmless enough, but deep down, just like every robot, it wants to kill.
Called Capuchin, the robot scales vertical walls using four limbs that can shift its weight to stay balanced. It and other climbing robots could be key to uncovering the geology of Mars.
Weight shifting robot, cool. But you know what would be cooler? If it had guns. And bombs. Ooh ooh ooh -- and a laser razor chainsaw for an arm. Now that would be a damn robot.*
*Until one actually kills me, robots with weapons will remain awesome.
Thanks to Raul, a man capable of surviving the robot apocalypse, for the tip
Mar 17 2008 Radio's Volume/Station Controlled By Rocks
The Natural Radio is controlled by rocks and operates using a scale. The more rocks you put on the volume scale the louder it gets. Same goes for frequency. Now I'm not very coordinated, so I couldn't imagine getting more than two or three stones balanced. What if I want to listen to 105.7? That seems like a lot of rocks. Maybe sand would work though. I'm much better with sand. You should have seen the wicked castle I built on the beach during my last vacation, it was awesome. Well, until that dick Poseidon destroyed it with a big wave. He still hasn’t forgiven me for that lusty night I spent with his sea-goddess Amphitrite. That's right folks, Aquaman is my son.
Several more pictures of the device after the dive.
Continue Reading " Radio's Volume/Station Controlled By Rocks "
Feb 1 2008 Livingstones: Pillows That Look Like Rocks
I don't have much information about Livingstones, except they're pillows that look like rocks. They're made by a French company and come in a variety of shapes and sizes. Based on the pictures it would appear that kids love sleeping in them and they look good in a ridiculously modern room. These are definitely on my 'to get' (or maybe 'to make') list. I'm gonna put them out in the living room and wait for my roommate to get real comfortable with them. Then I'll replace them with real rocks. He'll dive in and break every bone in his body! Good times, good times.
Thanks to Drew, who I wish I could take cool lessons from, for the tip
