Oct 30 2009 NASA's Ares Rocket Breaking Sound Barrier

This is a beautiful shot (super high-res version HERE) of NASA's Ares rocket taken earlier this week just as it broke the sound barrier. Pretty awesome, huh? Just imagine if you were sitting on top. WHEEEEE!!

What you're looking at is called a "shock egg," or the Prandtl-Glauert singularity, or a shockwave that compresses air and forces the vapor out of it. You see this kind of stuff a lot in photographs trailing behind fighter jets, but it's especially awesome when it happens to rockets. According to NASA, the shot was taken by one Scott Andrews, who used a Canon of some sort.

Hell yes, shock egg. Now tell me -- which do you think came first: the supersonic chicken or the shock egg? Trick question! Dinosaurs.

Ares rocket's 'shock egg' in mind-blowing clarity [dvice]

Oct 21 2009 NASA Testing First New Rocket In 30 Years

NASA, an organization that has actually convinced itself they put men on the moon despite it being all staged in Hollywood, is now testing a new rocket. The phallic booster is the first new design to come out of agency since 1981. Which, incidentally, is the year I was born. What does all this mean? I'm 28!

The rocket is Ares I-X -- a suborbital prototype for the Ares I rocket NASA plans to use to launch its shuttle successor, the Orion spacecraft. Currently the world's tallest booster, the Ares I-X rolled out to the launch pad early Tuesday and is slated to blast off Oct. 27 at 8 a.m. EDT (1200 GMT) on a short demonstration flight.

"The Ares I-X is going to fly straight up and straight out," said NASA commentator George Diller as the 327-foot (100-meter) tall rocket began moving toward Launch Pad 39B at the Kennedy Space Center in Florida. "During that time we'll be testing the stage separation to determine how well the first stage separation motors perform, as well as the performance of the booster itself, namely the parachutes and other apparatus that will deploy."

The $445 million rocket's rollout comes on the eve of a final report from an independent committee appointed by the White House to review NASA's plans for future human spaceflight.

You want me to tell you about the future of human spaceflight? Cause it goes like this: The Geekologie Writer builds a rocketship in the shed behind his house and blasts himself into the sun. Everyone is so sad rockets are banned for ever. Then everybody dies because you couldn't colonize Mars. The end.

NASA Unveils Ares 1-X Rocket for Historic Test Flight [foxnews]

Thanks to joseph, who tied his little brother to a bunch of fireworks and was just about to light the fuse when his mom caught him and yelled at him for having matches.

Oct 2 2009 Serious Eye Candy: Amazing Photograph Of The World's Tallest Rocket Blasting Off

This is a photo of the world's tallest rocket blasting off for outerspace without me. Damnit, I packed a sack lunch and everything! HOLLER AT YOUR BOY, NASA. Come on -- I'll bring you back an alien corpse!

You're looking at the 253.2-foot Delta 4-Heavy lifting off from launch complex 37B at Cape Canaveral, and yes, that's actually a photograph. Good thing the camera was remotely triggered by photographer Ben Cooper, who used sound activation to snap this shot while he was safely ensconced 3 miles away.

We feel sorry for that camera, though, whose lens was destroyed. The good news is, the camera itself somehow survived this hellish inferno as the world's tallest unmanned rocket roared away from its launchpad.

Impressive, huh? We've certainly come a long way since people thought the world was round, am I right? IT'S A D-20 YOU IDIOTS. God loves D&D! Now, gimme a roll for drunkenness, big guy. 19! BLAAAAAAAHH!!

World's tallest rocket roars away, captured in spectacular photo [dvice]

Jun 24 2009 I Invented That!: Fan Powered Rocket Board

I'm pretty sure this is every five-year old boy's first invention. Of course, few have the technical know-how to make it happen. And even fewer are allowed to play with power tools. But grownup Ray Bavetta kept the dream alive and slapped a 3.7HP model airplane engine on a skateboard and misnamed it Rocket Board. Do you know what a rocket is, Ray? There's usually fire coming out of the back. Not streamers.

Rocket Board makes skateboarding a bit more interesting [dvice]

Thanks to FDSY, who is fairly certain this is how he'll die.

Jun 8 2009 It's About Time: Haynes Manual For Apollo 11

This is the $29 Haynes Owners' Workshop Manual for all the vehicles and equipment used during the Apollo 11 mission to the moon. I'm still gonna pick up a copy, despite deciding to build my own rocketship for scratch (I'm hoping for pointers on seducing moon-women).

On 20 July 1969, US astronaut Neil Armstrong became the first man to walk on the moon. This is the story of the Apollo 11 mission and the 'space hardware' that made it all possible. This manual looks at the evolution and design of the mighty Saturn V rocket, the Command and Service Modules, and the Lunar Module. It describes the space suits worn by the crew and their special life support and communications systems.

There you have it, everything you need to know about how to fly a mission to the moon 40 years ago. Of course, things have changed since then. Namely, US women now have the right to vote. Yeah, and we haven't sent anyone else to the moon in 37 years. Coincidence, or should women not be allowed to drive? You decide.

Product Site
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NASA Apollo 11 Service Manual From Haynes [ohgizmo]

Apr 26 2009 3...2...1...: Largest Model Rocket Blasts Off

Remember the world's largest model rocket? Yeah, well it blasted off yesterday without a hitch (or Space Bat). This is a picture of the 36-foot tall, 1,600lb beast about to take to the skies. There's a couple more pictures and a video of the launch after the jump, so be sure to check that out. But not my girlfriend, or I'll punch you in the eyes.

Hit the launch button for the rest.

Continue Reading " 3...2...1...: Largest Model Rocket Blasts Off "

Apr 20 2009 Largest Model Rocket Ready For Blast Off

I did absolutely zero research to determine if this 36-foot tall, 1,600lb model rocket built by Steve Eves is, in fact, the largest ever, but that's only because I've already won numerous prizes for investigative journalism and figured I'd give somebody else a chance. I jest -- I'm just stoned to bejesus.

The mini-Saturn V is powered by nine rocket motors including 8 13,000ns N-Class motors and a single 77,000ns P-Class motor.

The single stage flight should reach an altitude somewhere between 3,000 and 4,000 feet, and at apogee the rocket will separate into three parts and return to Earth via the assistance of various parachutes. In the end Eves estimates he's invested about 1,500 hours into the project with a total budget of around $25,000, though that will actually be covered by various sponsors come the April 25th launch event.

Nice. Reminds me of the time at Space Camp we built model rockets and launched them off with crickets as payload. I remember my cricket (Chirpy McHandicapped) only had one back leg. Well, before liftoff. After liftoff he had one back leg on fire. R.I.P. Chirpy, say hi to Space Bat for me.

Largest Model Rocket In History Is 36 Feet Tall, Weighs Over 1,600 Pounds [ohgizmo]

Thanks to Stephen, who once put a rocket's fin on crooked and the rocket went all crazy like PPSSSSHOOWWOWOWOWWOWWSSSSSSSS *pop*

Apr 14 2009 Trying To Pancake A Car With A Rocket Sled

This is by far one of the coolest videos I've seen in awhile. In it, the Mythbusters attempt to fuse metal and pancake a compact car using a rocket-sled traveling at 650MPH. The results are....amazing. And why I don't drive. With a license.

Youtube

Thanks to snipmint, who once rode a rocket to the moon and didn't bother to bring me back any cheese. Just sayin', kind of a dick move.

Apr 13 2009 Awh Man, I Want To Be Like A Boss

NOTE: VIDEO IS CLEAN VERSION. UNCENSORED ONE AFTER THE JUMP.

If you haven't seen this already it's the latest video from The Lonely Island's album Incredibad. This particular ditty is called 'Like A Boss' and it's all about a normal day in a boss's life. It's pretty much what I do everyday too, except I'm not responsible for managing anybody. I can barely manage my own penis! Now where is that guy?

Make sure your mother isn't standing behind you and then hit it for the dirty version!

Continue Reading " Awh Man, I Want To Be Like A Boss "

Feb 9 2009 What Happens When Bird Meets Jet Engine

This is a test demonstrating what happens when a foreign object enters a jet engine before buying it dinner first.

Wide Body, Blade-Out Jet Engine Test. Short video showing what happens when a foreign object such as a large bird is ingested in a jet engine. You don't want to be onboard!!!! The joke during training was that you could ingest a 5 lb. bird at 250 kts.......... or a 250 lb bird at 5 kts. They actually have a "chicken gun" they use to fire the chickens into the engines for these tests.

Oh man, just imagine if -- wait, did that just say chicken gun? I want a chicken gun.

UPDATE: So apparently this isn't the chicken gun test after all. Youtube user dknric is a liar! Just like your parents -- you were adopted.

Youtube

Thanks to Ain, who once sucked a mourning dove into his jetpack's engine and had to crash land in a tree, where he befriended a squirrel. Yay for happy endings!

Jan 5 2009 Conceptual Hydrogen Vehicle Is Questionable To Say The Least, Stupid To Say A Little More

The Ozone is a conceptual hydrogen fuel cell vehicle that looks like a coffee can. I can only assume it's the brainchild of a design student that stayed up all night snorting Adderall the day before their semester-project was due.

The vehicle works on hydrogen powered fuel cells and looks futuristic in every way possible. The body is encased between two giant wheels controlled by separate motors which are powered by fuel cells, though this two seater looks more like a design picked straight out of fantasy due to its semi transparent glass casing and controlled by joystick.

Eh. Nice try, budding designer, but if this thing is so futuristic, where are the rockets? Things are going to float in the future, not roll. It's time for a change. I mean, shit's been rolling since Ug pushed his cave-bitch down a hill. Now for your homework assignment I want you to go home and watch some Jetsons.

Ozone Hydrogen Powered Car with 2 Giant Wheels [tuvie]

Thanks to Carlos, who once made love to a chick with a jetpack on because he likes to live dangerously.

Dec 24 2008 Blast Out Of Bed With The Rocket Alarm!

The $25 Rocket Launcher Alarm Clock is phallic as hell and I want one really badly. When it's time to wake up the rocket ship blasts off -- and you have to retrieve said rocket and replace it on the base for the beeping to stop. Alternatively, you can break the base. And while this certainly isn't the worst way to wake up, it is a close second behind the SWAT team busting into your bedroom. Those guys act like they've never seen a little morning wood before. Somebody fetch the proverbial buck saw -- this timber looks like a two-man job.

rocket launcher alarm clock blasts into orbit to wake you up [technabob]

Thanks to Julian, who requires like 16 diamond-toothed chainsaws to dispatch his morning lumber.

Dec 9 2008 The End Is Nigh!: Hovering Robot Of Death

Wonder how you're gonna die? By this thing, the Missile Agency's Multiple Kill Vehicle-L (MKV-L).

The MKV-L mission is to destroy medium through intercontinental-range ballistic missiles equipped with multiple warheads or countermeasures by using a single interceptor missile. During an actual hostile ballistic missile attack, the carrier vehicle with its cargo of small kill vehicles will maneuver into the path of an enemy missile. Using tracking data from the Ballistic Missile Defense System and its own seeker, the carrier vehicle will dispense and guide the kill vehicles to destroy any warheads or countermeasures.

Missile destroyer my ass, we're all freaking dead. Game over man, game over!

The hovering Multiple Kill Vehicle is simply a waking nightmare [engadget]

Thanks to Mike, Jake and Leigh, who know I love thinking about the robot apocalypse almost as much as I love things being jammed in my pee-hole.

Nov 21 2008 Bridge Constructed By Shooting Cable-Carrying Rockets Across Huge Valley

Just look at that bridge. I was almost tempted to call it Photoshopped, but then I remembered I'm not a stupid idiot. The Siduhe Grand Bridge has been in construction for over 4 years and stands 2,132 feet above the ground below. Holy shit! One of the initial problems with building the bridge was how to get the 3,200ft long cables across the valley. The answer? Attach them to rockets and blast them across.

so you've erected the enormous towers on each side of the deep valley, deeper than any valley previously bridged. how do you get a pilot cable from one tower to the next? previous solutions have included: attaching the cable to a kite and flying it over (e.g. niagara falls suspension bridge), carrying one end by helicopter (e.g. akashi kaikyo bridge) and floating one end on a boat (e.g. brooklyn bridge). the brains behind the siduhe bridge decided to ignore all those options and break another record instead. they attached the 3200ft cables to rockets and accurately fired them over the valley, becoming the first people to do so.

Hell yes! Ah, ingenuity at its finest. And also, rocket power. PSSSSSHOOOW! But seriously, for a case of beer I'll let you shoot me out of a cannon. Two cases and I'll even wear a paper hat.

Hit the jump for several pictures of the actual rocket firings. Pretty cool stuff.

Continue Reading " Bridge Constructed By Shooting Cable-Carrying Rockets Across Huge Valley "

Nov 4 2008 Own Your Own Apollo Spacesuit (Replica)

You remember when you were a kid and wanted to be an astronaut? Well I still do. And I'm building my own rocketship (screw you NASA -- rules and regulate this!). Originally I was gonna blast the eff off in a pair of gym shorts and novelty t-shirt, but now I'm thinking I might need something a little more....official looking. Enter the replica Apollo 11 spacesuit. Made based on a real Apollo A7L suit, it looks and feels like the real deal -- and all for only $9,500! Which, incidentally, is more than my entire rocketship cost to build. Speaking of which, I'm now accepting applications for one lucky lady (or dude that's really convincing) to join me on my groundbreaking journey to blowing up on the launch pad and dying. Pre-liftoff lunch will be included, no purchase necessary, just send a picture and five bucks to help cover the cold-cuts.

Buy a real Apollo spacesuit and finally live out those childhood dreams [dvice]

e. -- I'll blast off with you any day. And, God willing, we won't explode.

Oct 28 2008 Whee! View Outerspace From A Fishbowl

Not cool with viewing space from the cramped confines of a tiny dildo? Well how about the 360-degree views offered from the "Fishbowl Spaceship".

The company, founded by iD software (Doom, Quake) chief John Carmack, plans to build this far-fetched space bubble next year, aiming to start its first suborbital flights a year later. The company says a ticket on this wild ride will cost you a relatively cheap $100,000.

Awesome, now fumigate the bubble to get rid of those anal space tentacles and I'm sold.

Fishbowl Spaceship to give tourists a breathtaking 360-degree view [dvice]

Thanks to LSDiesel, who once huffed a bunch of nitrous and then heard this WAWAWAWAWA in his head that made him feel like he was on a spaceship.

Oct 27 2008 Dying Is Fun!: Rocket Car To Go 1,000 MPH

In 1997 Pilot Andy Green went 763mph in the Thrust SuperSonic Car, and now, 10 years later, is building a car that will potentially hit 1,000mph. And, hopefully for him, nothing else.

"Bloodhound isn't just about building a quick car," Andy told us. "Our main concern is education - we want this to be inspire kids to get into engineering. What better way to spark-up enthusiasm than building a 1000 mph car, then building the theory behind it into the National Curriculum?"

And consider this: 1000mph is literally faster than a speeding bullet. "If you shot at me with a hand gun, the bullet would just gently nudge into the back of the car," Green says.

Wow, faster than a speeding bullet -- move over Superman! Seriously, scoot the f*** over, you just touched my leg.

Hit the jump for several more conceptual pictures, a video of the Thrust run, and a conceptual video of the Bloodhound.

Continue Reading " Dying Is Fun!: Rocket Car To Go 1,000 MPH "

Oct 24 2008 Blast Off Into Space (Cramped And Alone)!

Copenhagen Suborbitals wants to send you into space, and on the cheap. Which means alone and stuffed into a little capsule atop a freaking rocket. Only limited arm movement will be possible, and you'll probably develop an itch on your back you can't scratch, which will inevitably ruin the entire trip. During the flight you'll experience 3g forces on your way to the far reaches of passing out and puking on yourself and then dying. No word on cost, but can you really put a pricetag on crashing into the moon?

Micro spacecraft to blast single brave rider into space [dvice]

And a very Happy Birthday to loyal Geekologist Jennifer, who, for her special day, can borrow my pet unicorn and fly him to the stars.

Sep 26 2008 Man Crosses English Channel With Jetpack

Yves "Fusion Man" Rossey successfully crossed the English Channel with a jetpack today. This is one small pew for man, one giant PEW PEW PEW for mankind.

Rossy, a pilot who normally flies an Airbus airliner, crossed the 22 miles between Calais and Dover at speeds of up to 120 mph in 13 minutes, his spokesman said.

Awesome. And as a guy who has made his girlfriend wear a jetpack during sex, I've got to tell you: don't do it from behind.

Hit the jump for a video.

Continue Reading " Man Crosses English Channel With Jetpack "

Jul 29 2008 $100,000 Jetpack Coming Next Year?

48-year old New Zealander, Glenn Martin, has spent over 26 years developing a jetpack, and believes it may be ready for sale next year. The 250 lb (part of it rests on the ground at idle so you don't have to lift the weight), 200hp, twin-rotor (it's not actually a jetpack) beast produces 600 lbs of thrust and can be flown for over 30 minutes on a tank of gas. Is it safe? Who cares, I want to fly. And, maybe afterwards, learn to swim.

"People come up and go, 'Is it safe?' " Mr. Martin said. "Safety is a relative thing. We think we have done a lot to make this by far the safest jetpack ever built." But, he acknowledged, "It's not a high bar."

He added, "I've got to get my head around the fact that at some point, somebody is going to have a very bad experience."

Well, at least he's being realistic. But seriously Glenn, I want to be that somebody.

Hit the link for a video of the thing and a way long article that was really long that I may or may not have read all of.

Continue Reading " $100,000 Jetpack Coming Next Year? "