Nov 20 2009 Creepy Robot Stares At You So You Exercise

How would you like this creepy little bastard staring at your ass when you're performing squats? Or maybe holding your feet while you do crunches? Or maybe you've got to be out of your got-damn mind!

Bandit is helping the University of Southern California Center for Robotics and Embedded Systems conduct a study on exercise training. 70 volunteers of all ages (including 20 people aged 60 or older living in retirement homes) will have either Bandit himself or Bandit on video as a trainer, and the researchers will try to figure out if the physical presence of the robot makes a difference.

That's right, they named him Bandit. As in, "Give me all your internal organs!" Listen, you want me to tell you whether a robot's presence helps you lose weight? It does -- and I'll prove it. SEND IN THE ROOMBA! *Eeeeeeeeeeeeek!* There, I feel four pounds lighter already. Oh, and I'm not cleaning that shit up either.

Video of the little jerkbag after the jump.

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Nov 17 2009 BURN IT DOWN!: The Bender Head House

The Bender House looks like Bender's dome from Futurama. If you've never seen Futurama I'm going to assume you don't have a television or internet so you probably aren't even reading this. Unless they print out copies of Geekologie and distribute them in Africa, which, I think we can all agree, is the best idea you've ever heard. Anyway, I'm gonna go ahead and start taking bets on how many beers it takes me to crash out of Bender's right eye and lay bleeding in the driveway -- oh -- oh -- *crash* Fourteen and a couple buttery nipples. Now somebody call 911 411, this guy needs a pizza.

I want this house [warmingglow]

Thanks to Marcie, who used to live in a house that looked like Robbie the Robot but it mysteriously burnt down. *whistling* Weird.

Nov 10 2009 No: Roombas Programmed To Play Pac-Man

Been waiting for someone to hack a bunch of Roombas to play Pac-Man? Me neither, but somebody did AND YOU'RE GOING TO WATCH THEM OR I'M GOING TO TOOTHPICK YOUR EYES OPEN AND MAKE YOU.

The vacuum, long an instrument for chasing cats, has now been turned against its own. What better use for automatic home appliances than to have them chase each other in classic video game style?

Built using our spare time, Roomba Pac-Man is designed to showcase the extensive Unmanned Aerial System software suite that we have developed to support our personal research. It was also a great opportunity to use some of our skills for our own entertainment.

Neat idea, but did you have to use robots? Why not kittens? I mean, you just handed over like $1,500 to the iRobot company. Which, despite the number of emails I've sent, the government still refuses to classify as a terrorist organization. OPEN YOUR EYES YOU BUREAUCRATIC BUTTPLUGS! Unless....OMG the government's in bed with the robots! Initializing expatriation! New Mexico here I come.

Project Site

Thanks to Jonny S, mary, Jackie and Boomer, who vacuum the old fashioned way: with a shaggy dog taped to a broken tree branch.

Oct 29 2009 Uh-Oh: Another Little Running, Jumping Robot

ROPID is a little robot created by Robo Garage (burn it down with an oily rag!) whose name combines the words 'robot' and 'rapid'. Very clever. Or should I say vever? I'm gonna stick with very clever. Anyway, this is a video of ROPID showing off his moves at a press conference. He (sometimes) responds to voice commands and can run (which technically isn't running, just walking fast), dance and jump. Plus look kinda cute. There, I said it -- just because you hate something with all your heart doesn't mean you can't find it beautiful. Take Edward Cullen for example.

ROPID Can Jump And Run, Almost [botjunkie]

Thanks to partychancer, fabian, Xkrimeg, Richthegringo, Harsh and Mira, who aren't ashamed to admit they've thought about what it would be like to be with a robot romantically. Bad move, guys -- burn them at the stake!

Oct 26 2009 If You Can Watch This And Not Be Freaked Out There Is Something Wrong With You

Boston Dynamics (my arch nemesis) is at it again, this time with PETMAN, a bipedal walking robot, who, despite its name, actually hates all living creatures.

Biped robot the balances dynamically using a human-like walking motion. It is a close relative to BigDog, sharing elements of the mechanical design and control.

PETMAN is an anthropomorphic robot for testing chemical protection clothing used by the US Army. Unlike previous suit testers, which had to be supported mechanically and had a limited repertoire of motion, PETMAN will balance itself and move freely; walking, crawling and doing a variety of suit-stressing calisthenics during exposure to chemical warfare agents. PETMAN will also simulate human physiology within the protective suit by controlling temperature, humidity and sweating when necessary, all to provide realistic test conditions.

Just watch and tell me that's not scary. Especially how it catches itself after being pushed at 0:25. I swear, you mount a couple machine guns on this thing, and presto, you've got yourself a real-life Terminator. Listen, Army -- you really want something to test your chemical protection suits on? I've got a whole neighborhood full of people I don't like. You think about it, I'll start marking doors.

Boston Dynamic
and
Youtube

Thanks to Tobyraider, who knows the only good walking robot is one who can't walk and isn't a robot.

Oct 24 2009 Fake, But Still Burn It With Lasers (You Never Can Be Too Safe): A Scary Dancing Robot

I'm pretty sure half the people that sent this in thought it's an actual robot, but being the astute robot slaya that I am, it wasn't hard for me to tell this is just a jackass in a robot costume. Don't get me wrong, I'd still burn that bitch like a witch (or doobie), he just doesn't pose the threat an actual robot would. Or DOES he? *pew pew!* He doesn't.

Youtube
and
Youtube (longer, 9:00 video)

Thanks to Rich the destroyer, paul, KennethJ, Ted, Mungo9000, chris, Albert, Tuggis, karrameg, Steven, hatcher, Big Bug, parking block and Wendy, who actually knew it was a person the whole time and just wanted to scare me.

Oct 17 2009 Almost Cute, Almost: A Robot In Love

This is a little video entitled 'Robot In Love' that features a little robot named Bit Beat putting the moves on his woman. I don't want to spoil it for you, but he sadly doesn't get destroyed by a powerful burning laser in the end. Just wait for the break-up, little robot, she'll get ya.

Vimeo

Thanks to Oscar, who has never fallen in love with a machine because automatic coffee makers don't count. What about self-cleaning litterboxes? I need a ruling.

Oct 7 2009 I'm Pirating All Her Songs Just To Spite Her: A Horribly Singing Robot

Yamaha's HRP-4C robot, best known for having pervs take pictures of its ass and modeling wedding dresses, can now sing song requests sent to it via iPhone. Impressive, Yamaha. I mean, if I DIDN'T SEE MORE IMPRESSIVE TECHNOLOGY AT CHUCK E CHEESE'S 20 YEARS AGO. Oooooh, burn! Seriously -- this thing, with fire. And while we're on the subject, somebody's dad touched my butt in the ballpit.

Hit the jump for a video of the robotic tramp singing terribly.

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Sep 29 2009 I'm Not Sitting On It: Real Robotic Transformer

This is a real-life Transformer (OmniZero.9, the brainchild of Takeshi Maeda) that can morph from a humanoid robot to a humanoid robot that can carry a person, to a wheeled cart. Just watch how scary it is when it moves. If I didn't know better, I'd swear there was a little person in there. But there isn't! Just wires and servos and a metallic heart of death. Which, true story, only beats for the destruction of the human race. And speaking of which: One time I competed in a three-legged race solo.

Hit the jump for a video of the robot battling another, much smaller one.

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Sep 18 2009 Um, No: Tandem Robo-Biker Pedals For You

Joules is a robot designed to KILL! pedal the back of a tandem bicycle. And I can honestly say I have absolutely no interest in biking down the street getting cornholed by a robot names Joules.

He's the creation of a guy called Chris who, challenged by his son to create an electric tandem that worked via pedal power, more than satisfied the brief.

The nuts-and-bolts robot is powered by a PMG-132 electric motor and, unlike most lazy-assed back-end tandem riders, does all the work himself.

Yeah but no but no. As much as I do hate pedaling myself, I'd rather walk my bike up a hill than have this jerk do the work for me. You hear that, Lance Failstrong? YOU WILL NEVER PEDAL ME!

Hit the jump for a video of the beast in action.

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Sep 11 2009 But I Don't Wanna Hit Him!: WALL-E Piñata

This is a custom made WALL-E piñata from Etsy seller victorof1980s. This crazy mother is trying to sell the thing for $200. $200 for something your kid is gonna beat to shit with a stick and not even remember by next year! No thanks. When my children have birthdays they get the same kind of piñata I had growing up: a grocery bag with a face drawn on the side. I remember one time I hit it so hard I dented a can of succotash! Also, all the bananas got real mushy.

wall-e pinata filled with candy, not garbage [technabob]

Thanks to naas, who hate WALL-E but loves beating things with a dowel.

Sep 11 2009 You Look Different: Is That You, R2?

This is definitely NOT the droid I'm looking for. Kidding -- come here you lovable little trashcan, you! Now hump my leg.

I've Got A Bad Feeling About This [pictureisunrelated]

Thanks to everyone who sent this in, next round at the cantina's on me. Psyche! I WILL SHOOT FIRST.

Sep 8 2009 Beep Boop Bop: R2-D2 Cookies For Sale

Well folks, the holiday weekend is over. And, as much as I'd love to go back and live every second of it all over again, my time machine is broken. And by broken I mean not finished yet. BUT SOME DAY. Anyway, here are some R2-D2 cookies made by Etsy seller SugarandFlour. $13 nets you six of the beep boop boppiest delectables this side of the galaxy. JUST DON'T EAT HIS THIRD LEG. Save that for me. Now come give Obi Geekologie-aroni some kissies you sexy little droid, you!

One more shot after the jump.

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Jul 23 2009 Tour Guide/Rent-A-Cop Robot Eats Children

Okay, so maybe it doesn't. OR AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT THEY'D HAVE YOU BELIEVE. The Alsok Guard Robot D1 is being put to use in Fukuoka, Japan as tour guide/guard/monster piece of suck. Damn I'm good with the news!

The area's tourist attraction known as Canal City opted to use the decidedly cute and human-friendly services of a Alsok's Guard Robot D1.

In the daytime the robot functions as a kind of tour guide, offering website information and communication in Japanese, English, Chinese and Korean. At night the robot functions as a security guard, ready to alert authorities in case of trouble.

Not to start any wild rumors or anything, but I heard it touched a kid. BURN IT WITH FIRE!

Hit the jump for a video of the monster waste of money.

Continue Reading " Tour Guide/Rent-A-Cop Robot Eats Children "

Jul 16 2009 Naked 'Terminator' Tased By Police In Nevada

A Terminator sent back from the future has been tased and arrested by police in Nevada. Good lookin', boys in blue!

19-year-old Sean Stanley Smith was arrested on the Nevada border after he was spotted by a motorist wandering around the highway nude. He was ordered by police to stop but proceeded into a nearby casino - where he was then tasered in front of a group of children.

Smith claims he was a Terminator sent back in time from the future.

When questioned who he was sent back to kill, the Terminator responded, "The Geekologie Writer". Really buddy? TOO BAD I'M VACATIONING IN MIAMI YOU IDIOT MORON! Wait. Did I say Miami? I meant Manitoba. Shit.

Police arrest naked 'Terminator' [yahoo]

Thanks to Bubbles100, who wonders if he was packing more heat than the Naked Wizard.

Jul 16 2009 Reptilian Death Machines: More Robot Snakes

Snakes are inherently scary because of their phallic form factor, so you can imagine how I feel about robot snakes. This frightening bastard, created at Carnegie Mellon (watch your back!), is capable of traversing a variety of terrain, including, and not just limited to: handrails and stripper poles. I'll tell you what though: first time I see a robotic snake on stage at the Beaver Bungalow, I'm burning that dam to the ground.

Carnegie Mellon's robotic snake stars in a glamour video [engadget]

Thanks to Chase is First and steve, who once screamed "ROBOTIC SNAKE!" in line at an amusement park and got to ride in the front of the coaster twice before people finally caught on.

Jul 6 2009 KILL IT!: Transformer Robot Really Tranforms

Miss me? I missed you. I hope everyone had a safe yet explosive weekend. Amazingly, I'm still alive and fingerful. Let me tell you: it wasn't easy. Now, let's return to our regularly scheduled program, shall we?

NASA, who I used to respect, wants to build a bunch of transformers to do their dirty work. *shaking head* And I used to want be an astronaut.

NASA wanted a robot that could start as 100 blocky modules dropped from an airplane to a desert, reconfigure into a rover that could drive to a sand dune, and then change again to "grow" legs and climb up it. Once the blocky robot reached the top, it would transform into a greenhouse that could protect a group of seeds for two weeks.

Only 20 of the modules were built during an ambitious project more than two years ago. But together, they are known as Superbot.

Now repeat after me, "All hail Superbot!" ZOMG -- A COUPLE OF YOU ACTUALLY DID IT! You make me sick.

Hit the jump to see two of the robot's other configurations.

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Jun 30 2009 I Would Destroy: This WALL-E Cake

If I were in prison and could only have one thing I would want a chastity belt. But if I could have two things I would want a chastity belt and a cake with a file in it. What? I like to keep my nails looking good. Also, looking a little cross-eyed there, WALL-E -- been playing with yourself again?

Wall E Cake is Simply Delicious [walyou]

Jun 24 2009 Yikes!: How To Make Gundam Even Scarier

Like this. Just look at those hands *shivers*. That's not Gundam, that's Gunmadam. Happy ending: DO NOT WANT.

Hit the jump for an action pose.

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Jun 14 2009 Ooooh, He's Light Up: Gundam At Night

Thought the Japanese Gundam statue looked good during the day? Well check it out at night! The statue is chock-full of blinky blinks and other lighting effects to help assure the citizens of Japan they're safe from attack. Unless it's an inside job. *ahem* I'm looking at you, RX-78.

Hit the jump for a bunch more and a link to the HQ versions in case you want to print em out and make love to them. Sicko.

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