Oct 8 2009 More Sprinkles!: Custom $25K Cupcake Cars
These are three examples of custom cupcake cars that Neimen Marcus is selling for Christmas this year. Each cake will set you back $25K, but makes the perfect gift for the Lollypop Guild member on your list who has everything. Plus, they come with matching hats!
Put on your matching hat, slip under the muffin top of your Cupcake Car, and let the world figure itself out for awhile. Get (or give) the sheer, joyful chaos of a gift that is mind-blowing, triple-dog-dare, double-infinity forever cool. Make the kids or grandkids literally squeal with joy. Bring it to work and buzz the breakroom. Crash parades! Putter about the 'hood. Ever had a crowd of kids chasing after you just for the crazy gleeful heck of it? (No worries, the top speed is a comfy-safe 7 mph.) What's it made of? A 24-volt electric motor, a heavy-duty battery, sheet metal, wire, fabric, wood...and mad genius. Launched at Burning Man as a cooperative art car project, the Cupcake Car sprang from the fevered mind of Bay Area artist Lisa Pongrace and her less-rules-more-laughs posse of artists and techno geeks. Yours will be tricked out with your favorite topping, so start thinking flavors.
Yeah, if I ever see a cupcake driving down the sidewalk I'm swearing off drugs forever. Except alcohol. Which, fun fact: I'm petitioning to be included in the food pyramid. STOP FIGHTING IT, FDA!
May 1 2009 Cincinnati Has Its Own Superheroes, Both Super And Hero Debatable (Can I Join?)
Finally, Cincinnati has it's own superheros. Shadow Hare, a 21-year old masked vigilante, prowls the streets while leading a ragtag bag of other assholes crimefighters known as The Allegiance of Heroes (MUST SEE hero pep rally at 1:07). And, apparently, this isn't a unique phenomenon -- there's actually a World Superhero Registry (ANOTHER MUST SEE), showcasing all the real-life heroes operating around the globe. Which, after viewing, has inspired me to start my own group of crimefighters (now accepting applications). I'm thinking 'GW and the Nut-Busting Crusaders Of Truth And Cool Costumes'. Too professional?
Hit the jump for parts 2 and 3 of the news story about Shadow Hare. Trust me, best way to spend your Friday afternoon. ALLEGIANCE ASSEMBLE!
Continue Reading " Cincinnati Has Its Own Superheroes, Both Super And Hero Debatable (Can I Join?) "
Apr 20 2009 Wine Glass Features Convenient Reservoir
I know what you're thinking, "holy shit, that glass has a tumor!", and you're right, it kind of does. The Glass Tank is a conceptual wine receptacle that keeps your glass topped off at a constant level. That way you get drunk with while you're, you know, I've been drinking. Now I know -- 4.20's supposed to be about smoking, but, and it might just be the booze talking -- but I love booze. Also, this is a stupid idea. I already have a wine glass with built in receptacle -- it's called the box. Or, if I feel like being Mr. Fancy Pants, the bottle. Class: you can't spell Geekologie Writer without it.
Hit the jump for one more shot of how it works (air replaces wine in reservoir as you drink).
Continue Reading " Wine Glass Features Convenient Reservoir "
Jan 18 2009 No, Absolutely Not: A $64,000 Turntable
We've already featured $19,000 and $300,000 turntables here on Geekologie, but what about something for the average guy -- you know, a mid-range record player? Enter the Angelis Labor Gabrielle Turntable.
The Gabriel is made from aluminum, bronze and stainless steel and can be customized with up to four arms. Each arm is made in a Modena, Italy, factory that also builds Ferrari parts. A one-armed model costs about $27,000, while a four-armed version runs for $64,000, including installation.
Why would anyone want four arms on their record player? Different pickup cartridges produce different types of sound, and some audiophiles like to match their record players' arms to different genres of music without going through the hassle of swapping cartridges."When I look at it," said Placido Pappalardo, co-owner of maker Angelis Labor, "the only word that comes to mind is love."
Really, Placido, love? I was maybe thinking spaceship or PEW PEW, but certainly not love. Unless, of course, you meant LOVE love, in which case, I'd hit that shit like a Laserdisc player.
Hit the jump for a bunch of closeups.
Continue Reading " No, Absolutely Not: A $64,000 Turntable "
Dec 11 2008 6-Wheeled Sports Car Makes It To Production
The Covini Six Wheeler (C6W) needs a new name but does have six wheels. It looks kind of like a Ferrari whose mother downed too much ethanol during pregnancy. So why the six wheels?
The Covini Six Wheeler takes its engineering inspiration from the 1976 Tyrell P34 race car which had two pairs of smaller front wheels that were intended to increase air penetration and have a smaller frontal area effectively reducing drag.
The ideas behind the Tyrell P34 don't necessarily translate to the C6W, though Ferruccio Covini, the company's founder, gives the following reasons for creating his modern-day six-wheeler:• Less risk of front tires deflating
• Less risk of aquaplaning
• Better braking
• Better grip
• Better comfort
• Better absorption of frontal impact
• Better stupid looking
• Better support for fatties
• Better vroom vroom (1.5x)
• Better why the f*** not?
• Better not steal my rims!
• Better to run you over with
• Better not pout, better not cry
• Or Santa will fondle you in your sleep
• The elves will take pictures
• And they will wind up on the internet
• Rule 34
Hit the jump for several more pictures and two videos, the first of which is track footage, the second of which is still photos.
Continue Reading " 6-Wheeled Sports Car Makes It To Production "
Dec 2 2008 Wait, What?: A Gas-Powered Snowboard
Hammacher Schlongmeister, purveyor of the utterly ridiculous, is selling a gas-powered snowboard this year. Because, you know -- shit, beats me.
This is the gas-powered vehicle that combines the thrill of riding a snowmobile and the freedom of a snowboard, enabling you to surf effortlessly over the deepest fresh powder or on packed, granular snow. Powered by a 6 1/2-hp four-cycle gasoline engine that starts with a pull, it can accommodate riders up to 250 lbs. and has a maximum speed of 18 mph, operating up to two hours on only 3/4-gallon of gasoline.
All that and it'll only set you back $2,000. They're practically giving them away! And as a guy who's broken his arm snowboarding, I've got to admit: two grand is a small price to pay to shatter it again. *CRUNCH* I can see the bone!
Gas-powered snowboard secures your dominance over nature [dvice]
Nov 24 2008 You Look Stupid When You Play Video Games. Just Kidding, Only These Kids Do
You ever wonder what you look like playing video games? Well I'll tell you: a slovenly asshole with man-tits and torn boxers lounging on a broken recliner. Psyche, that's just me. But now photographer Robbie Cooper has made a video showing just how goofy kids look while they game. Make sure to check out the girl that is either the devil or on drugs at around 1:00. No emotion. Girl could kill you and your whole family and not bat an eye. Lock her up! Or, alternatively, burn her at the stake! But, if you go with the latter, I call a drumstick.
Thanks to Emode, who doesn't look stupid playing video games because he has laser eyes and balls the size of European castles.
Nov 18 2008 Alien/Dragon Cars Gaining Popularity In Russia. Also, Remaining A Virgin, Vodka.
Apparently in Krasnoyarsk, Russia, the youth are obsessed with pimping out their cars with dragons, which is probably one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard. Dinosaurs, sure, but dragons? What are you, 10?
Thanks to some really imaginative car lovers with tons of time to kill, the youth of the Russian town get to witness some of the wildest car art in the world.Dragon Cars, as they are called, are apparently a real hoot in that neck of the woods and even bald guys with mean looking cars get all the chicks. Now that's what I call a culture shock!
No, dragon cars and dumb bastards getting chicks is not a culture shock. A culture shock is a worn-panty vending machine. *ahem* Japan. I <3 you -- call me. xoxo
Hit the jump for several more of dragon cars, including one of a bald guy smoking a hookah.
Nov 17 2008 The World's Best Exercise Machine
We've seen incarnations of the treadmill-cycle in the past, but this one really takes the cake. Mostly because you can run on that mother tandem. And there's nothing cooler than running on a treadmill with wheels directly behind another guy running on the same treadmill with wheels. Seriously, If this thing was any more awesome I'd sell my comic book collection just to invest in the company. But since it's not, I'm going to rob a liquor store. Party at my place later!*
*Guys must bring two girls for admittance. And no ugly ones!
The Most Pointless Exercise Machine of All Time [current]
Thanks to Karilyn and Michael, who both agree I look sexy as hell in my short running shorts.
Aug 18 2008 Kids Add Audio Systems To Their Bikes
A group of immigrant teens from Trinidad that now live in Queens, New York call themselves the Stereobike crew and add bad-to-the-ass audio systems to their bicycles. Systems that put the boombox I keep in my front basket to shame. The speakers, powered by car batteries and run through amps, output thousands of watts, capable of rattling the paint clean off my Prism. Just imagine, when these kids are old enough to drive and start buying their own cars -- they're gonna get broken into and their stereos stolen.
Hit the jump for several more pictures.
Aug 8 2008 GoateeSaver Saves Goatee, Not Self Respect
The GoateeSaver looks like the thing they made Hannibal Lecter wear and protects your goatee while you shave in case you have the shakes or are prone to seizures. The $20 device has height and width adjustments (those three silver rollers) so it's one size adjusts to most. You just bite the attached bit, shave, and you're good to go. Except for my roommate, who just discovered I covered his bit with superglue. What's that? I can't understand a word you're saying, you look stupid as f***.
GoateeSaver, the grooming accessory for the clumsy, inept, or hungover [dvice]
Jul 21 2008 iBeer For iPhone Is Ridiculous, Three Dollars
iBeer is an iPhone application that can be downloaded from iTunes for $3. It's every bit as ridiculous as Captain Kissyface in the picture looks. Because there is nothing sadder than pretend drinking beer. It makes me want to kill myself. If you really want it though and beer's not your scene we can't be friends but they're selling iMilk and iCantbelieveIjustpaid$3forthis as well.
Hit the jump to watch a video of the application in action. Spoiler: It looks like a taint with eyebrow spasms drinking an iPhone.
Continue Reading " iBeer For iPhone Is Ridiculous, Three Dollars "
Jul 17 2008 Because You Hate Your Kids: Baby Wigs
First there were cat wigs, then dog wigs, and now, baby wigs. Baby Toupees are "small wigs for small people" and cost $22 apiece. Thankfully these weren't available when I was a baby or my mom would have bought them all. Baby Toupee: $22. F***ing your kids up for life: priceless.
Baby Toupee website (with a huge gallery of babies in other, discontinued models)
Thanks to Julian, who just purchased the whole set for his doll collection.
Jul 8 2008 Money Can't Buy Classiness: A Gold Porsche
From our "Money Can't Buy Classiness" department here at Geekologie comes this gold covered Porsche. Some moron with more money than taste has added almost 40 lbs of gold to his 911 convertible. So now it's 40 pounds heavier, and 50% less cool. I swear, what is it with rich people's fascination with shiny things? It's ridiculous. You know what other demographic loves shiny objects? Babies. Coincidence? I think not.
Hit the jump for several close-ups of the gaudiness.
Continue Reading " Money Can't Buy Classiness: A Gold Porsche "
Jul 2 2008 Sickly Modded Rolls-Royce Spotted In London
This is a $1,000,000 highly modded 1995 Rolls-Royce Silver Spirit MKIV recently spotted in London. It was customized by Indian firm DC Designs and is rumored to belong to the Sultan of Brunei's family. I guess it looks okay, and I like the way the doors open (see pictures after the jump), but you know what really gets me? The custom plate. Somebody please tell me CEXI means something in another language or counting system. Because as far as I know, it's a tacky misspelling of "SEXY" and makes you look like an idiot. This reminds me: there was a girl that went to my high school, Lexi, and when she turned 16 her parents got her a new car. And you know what custom plate she chose? "SXI LEXI". The best part was she was nowhere near sexy. She should have gone with "FUGLY LX". I mean she was bad. I'm talking possum ugly. Pogly.
Hit the jump for a bunch more pictures of a car I'll never own.
Continue Reading " Sickly Modded Rolls-Royce Spotted In London "
Jun 18 2008 Gaming Station Looks Like Torture Device
The Ergonomic Workstation from Ergo Motions looks freaking ridiculous and may or may not come with some of those little toothpick-y things to keep your eyes pried open. I mean this thing is even wacker than most of the other ridiculous workstations we've seen here. It was designed to "help gamers...avoid the repetitive stress injuries and posture issues that often result" from sitting in a dark room surrounded by empty Pringles and Mountain Dew cans. Not totally sure why it needs to lean back like that, but if I had to guess it's for a more realistic flight and/or looking up a woman's dress simulators. The mutant dental chair is currently in prototype phase, so we'll have to wait to find out if it'll ever see the light of day. And, if it's anything like my World of Warcraft addicted roommate, it won't.
Hit the jump for a full list of specs if you're really curious.
Continue Reading " Gaming Station Looks Like Torture Device "
Jun 17 2008 These Animal Hairdos Are Turning Me On
Yow yow! There are few things sexier in the world than animal hairdos or eating steak off a naked woman's back while watching Sportscenter. Just look at these things -- hot, hot, hot! Especially the two I put together for that picture, because it looks like the two women are about to go at it, and the animals as well. So not only are you getting a sexy cat fight, but you're getting an erotic dingo/rhino battle to boot. Damn, my glasses are fogging up. And not just because I poured hot coffee in my face, although that probably contributed. So ladies, first one to get an animal hairdo wins a date with yours truly, The Geekologie Writer. Get the hair down there (beaver!) done too and I'll marry you.
Hit the jump for a whole bunch more animal hair awesomeness.
Jun 4 2008 Shoes For The Gaming Hooker With No Purse
In case you couldn't tell or are having your mommy read this aloud while you eat a bowl of breakfast cereal, these are some prostitutey shoes with embedded Gameboys. I assume they're either 1. for gaming hookers that don't carry purses, or 2. for those who service johns that think their penises are just nonfunctional joysticks and only frequent prossies to cry about how hard their favorite Zelda games are. *sniffle* Your money's on the Wii, now make like the Water Palace in Ocarina of Time and get lost.
Several more styles after the jump, in case you're in the market.
Continue Reading " Shoes For The Gaming Hooker With No Purse "
May 12 2008 Treadmill Bike Makes My Head Explode
Similar to last week's Naturmobil, the Treadmill Bike is half treadmill, half bicycle, and half ridamndiculous. The logic behind it made my head explode. Now my brain is exposed and one of the cats is licking it. Apparently the bike has been out for awhile, but since I have a penchant for the old, and I don't think it has been posted here before, KA-BOOM!, here it blows. Not much to say except I can't believe that guy is actually wearing a helmet -- the damn thing has a top speed of like 2.5 MPH (and that's if you're running like you want to have a heart attack). Horribly energy inefficient, the bike is also inefficiently priced at about $2,500. But can you really put a price on being the stupidest looking cyclist on the streets? Yes, $2,500.
A video of the bike inaction(!) after the jump.
May 7 2008 Designer Guns Great For Gaudy Tramps
Couple one of these guns with a designer gas mask, and you're guaranteed to be the tackiest thing trying to run in stilettos during the coming robot/zombie/candied yam/werewolf/douchebag/vampire/lobster apocalypse. Created by Peter Gronquist for his art exhibit "The Revolution will be Fabulous", each weapon looks god-awful. That said, I'm sure they'll sell like hot cakes. Oh wait, they have.
Gronquist's show opened last night at Gallery 1988 in Los Angeles. The pieces ranged from anywhere from a few hundred bucks to several thousand and several, such as the Louis Vuitton chainsaw, have sold.
This is just crazy. Anybody who actually bought one of these things should be locked up for having absolutely no theology or geometry. Well, except for the guy that bought the golden Louis Vuitton chainsaw -- he sounds cool as shit and writes this blog.
Hit the link for a TON more name-brand weapon ridiculousness.
