Oct 14 2009 Build Your Own Roller Coaster Ride At Disney

No this isn't Roller Coaster Tycoon, this is real life! The "Sum of all Thrills" is a new ride at Disney's Epcot Center that allows children to design their own roller coasters and then ride them in a virtual reality environment with the aid of a giant robotic arm. I smell vomit! No, seriously -- I think a cat puked under the bed.

Epcot on Wednesday opened a new attraction called "Sum of All Thrills," which lets kids use computer tablets to design a virtual roller coaster, bobsled track or plane ride. After inputting their designs, kids climb into a robotic carriage that uses virtual-reality technology to help them experience the ride they've created.

"This is really the next generation -- where there's a lot more personalization involved" in the amusement-park experience, said Eric Goodman, Disney's lead project manager on the ride.

Cool. Of course, I question how much customization you'll actually get to do (I want 30 loopty-loops in a row!), or how much you should actually trust a child with anyway (100% of 0). Just saying, I have the feeling a lot of coasters are gonna end with a giant robotic arm slamming you into the ground repeatedly. YOU KIDS WILL NEVER BE IMAGINEERS!

Hit the jump for a better shot of the last thing you'll ever climb inside.

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Oct 1 2009 Not Dangerous Enough: Jet Powered Carousel

Whenever I think "jet-powered" I think of rocketpacks and blasting off to the moon with a bubble helmet on and then playing hide-and-seek amongst the craters. Secondly, I think of danger and how much fun it is almost dying but then escaping death at the last second and flipping the grim reaper the bird right when he's reaching for you with his scythe. Yeah, I do that all the time. But one thing I don't do all the time (or ever for that matter) is ride a rocket-powered merry-go-round. It just looks too tame. Admittedly, the carousel's shoddy construction did look promising in the beginning, but in the end it's just two guys who might have well taped bottle rockets to their backs. I WANTED TO SEE ONE OF THOSE BITCHES LAUNCHED INTO ORBIT! Or at least a tree. Hurt video needs more hurt.

Skip to 1:30 for the action. And I did like the flames.

Madmen cling to jet-powered merry-go-round [theregister]

Thanks to srvr, who hates vowels.

Jan 25 2009 Revenge For Bicyclists: Handlebar Key Plugs

Are you a bicyclist that's tired of being cut off and hit by cars? Well get a pair of these handlebar key plugs and you can at least deface the perpetrator's car in the process of getting run over.

These modified handlebar plugs speak to the disgruntled urban cyclist. By retro-fitting stock parts with up-cycled keys, bikers can now find satisfaction with close encounters. This concept puts a new twist on the timeless tradition of car-keying revenge. By Matt Braun and Jared Delorenzo.

They cost $5 for a set of two and fit snugly into regular handlebars and assholes. But in all honesty, if I catch you keying my car I can and will kill you. I'm serious -- if you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

Hit the jump for a couple more shots.

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Oct 29 2008 Express Lane Only: The Shopping Cart Trike

The Cartrider was designed by Jaebeom Jeong and combines a shopping cart and trike. That way you can do your shopping faster, and while seated. Alternatively, you can just use one of the motorized scooters that grocery stores have available for disabled patrons and play the grocery store game. 2 points are awarded for hitting a pedestrian shopper, and an additional 5 every time you hit the same person again. 15 points for each end-of-aisle display you knock over, and 100 if you ride the scooter home before the battery dies. 500 if there's a low-speed chase involved.

Hit the jump for two more pictures.

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Oct 10 2008 Added To X-Mas List: Kota The Triceratops

Kota the Triceratops is a robot toy for children that "has 11 different movements and reacts to touch and sound." The 37-pound behemoth can even support a child rider up to 60-pounds. Unfortunately, the dino doesn't actually walk, so you'll still have to get your children to fetch your beer the old fashioned way, on a tricycle. Suggested retail price is between $300-$400, but I'm willing to pay upwards of $500 if it could, you know, do a little *wink wink* blogging. That's right, I want it to write for me.

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Keep it up, you're doing great!

Hit the jump for a video of Kota inaction.

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Oct 3 2008 No Thanks: A Human Powered Ferris Wheel

I don't have much more information on this ferris wheel except that it appears to be human powered, doesn't look that fun to ride, and is definitely dangerous to operate. And while I'm on the subject, I think the carny operating the moon-bounce stole my freaking shoes. But I did make out with the bearded man pretending to be a woman.

Youtube

Thanks to Roberto, who could operate a man-powered Tilt-A-Whirl by himself.

Aug 25 2008 The AirKick Gets You High, Wet

If you live in Germany you can rent an AirKick for an undisclosed amount of bratwurst. The human catapult (not to be confused with a human trebuchet) is capable of launching thrill-seekers 26 feet to a watery landing.

The participant sits in a specially constructed seat at the back end of the catapult arm and 3,2,1...Liftoff. He sets the device in motion himself by pushing a button. Approximately 60 liters of water are then forced through a rocket nozzle under the seat.

Awesome! I'm having them send one over here for testing, I'll report back.

UPDATE: Greetings from the ER! Not for use in the mall parking lot.

AirKick Human Water Catapult [ballerhouse]
via
AirKick human catapult slam-dunks brave riders [dvice]

Thanks Eric and Pat, but you could have warned me you know.

Jul 1 2008 Roll-A-Bout: Because WheelChairs Suck (Hoverounds And Rascals Are Still Legit)

Forget to pay your bookie? Girlfriend beat you in the leg for commenting on the delicious roundness of another woman's posterior? Or did you just slam your leg into the coffee table on the way to the bathroom one night? Whatever the case, the Roll-A-Bout is for you! The $600 - $740 device is made for people with lower leg injuries (one leg at a time, please) that think wheelchairs are for old people and want something a little bit more office chair race-y. The basket comes standard on the model, but the cup holder will set you back an additional $15. Of course, if you want to save some money you could just mod an office chair like a normal person. Just add a little scooter engine, cooler, some turn signals, a microwave, card table, bedpan, a few magazines, pillows, custom mini-rims, naked lady mudflaps, and presto: you still get pulled over doing 8 in a 35.

The Roll-A-Bout - A Questionable Alternative To Crutches Or A Wheelchair [ohgizmo]

Jun 10 2008 Disney Tours Now Available On Google Earth

We've all known for some time how useful Google Maps can be to spot drug deals in progress, but now Google, in their unending quest for interweb supremacy, is offering Disney tours through Google Earth.

Visitors can walk or fly around the park as they wish. Information on the park's 1,500 attractions pops up on the side of the screen, along with photos, videos and booking details. Even the park's numerous statues, benches, lamp posts and banners are included.

It currently only features the outside of buildings, but there are plans for an update that will allow virtual visitors to enter the attractions and hotel rooms.

"HEY KIDS, WHO WANTS TO GO TO DISNEYWORLD!?!? Okay, now gather around the monitor..."

Disney World 3D tours on Google Earth [telegraph]

Thanks Steve, now my kids hate me

May 15 2008 RINGBO Ridable Robot For Kids Reminds Me How Much My Childhood Sucked, Was Bad

RINGBO is a robotic transportation device for children that hate walking. It was designed for kids aged 2-3 so they can run over the cat's tail. The unit has a 66-pound weight limit and a 6-8 hour charge yields about one hour of drive time. It also looks like a miniature Hoveround. Say, have I ever told you about how I always wanted one of those little motorized Jeeps when I was a kid but my parents never got me one? True story. My friend had one though, except he would never let me drive it. Or even ride in it for that matter. What he would let me do is lie in the sandbox while he backed over me. Best friends forever!

A commercial video of the thing, which features an awesome song that'll get stuck in your head and you'll sing all day long, after the jump (lyrics included).

NOTE: The lyrics start at 0:45. You MUST memorize them if you want our friendship to last.

Continue Reading " RINGBO Ridable Robot For Kids Reminds Me How Much My Childhood Sucked, Was Bad "

May 9 2008 Ghost Mirror Makes You Look Ghostly

The Ghost Mirror is not what I thought it was. At first I thought it was going to be like one of those mirrors in the Haunted Mansion ride at Disney World where it looks like a holographic ghost is sitting next to you. This is not the case. Instead it makes you look ghostly.

In this mirror, the observer can see the reflection of his surroundings and yet he is never able to see himself.

Now I'm not totally sure how that works, but I've got the feeling that if that bookshelf shows up, you should too if you stand by it (so maybe you only disappear if you're really close). But there is, of course, the chance that an evil sorcerer lives inside the mirror and steals your image whenever you look at it. Yeah, that's probably it. You know, just from looking at her, you'd swear my girlfriend applies her makeup in a mirror like this. Seriously -- she looks like she got beat in the face with a paint can.

Ghost Mirror [pipeline]

Thanks David, now don't go and disappear on us

Feb 22 2008 Tetris Ice Makes Drinking Much More Fun

Tetris makes everything better. That's why these Tetris themed ice blocks will make drinking more fun. Because there's Tetris involved. Now I'm not entirely sure how you could play with these, but I'm sure there's a way. I'm totally going to put some in the liquor bowl at my carnival festival this weekend. You're all invited, it's going to be great. There's going to be dancing bears, a ferris wheel, moon bounce, roller coaster, tilt-a-whirl, upside down pirate ship, a bunch of other awesome rides, cage fighting, little people, fire eaters, all the liquor and beer you can drink, and to top things off -- eating contests! Bring your own spoon and $10 for free admittance. I guarantee a good time and at least 30 people die from faulty rides and food/alcohol poisoning.

DOOT DOOT DOODLE DOOT DOOT DOO DOO DOOT

That's the sound a carnival makes.

TETRICE [notcot]