Oct 22 2009 Geekologie Review: Blood Energy Potion
I drank this stuff, it was good. It's thick and tastes like Hawaiian Punch concentrate. They recommend you put it in the microwave for 14 seconds to heat it up to body temperate. I did that. That made it warm. It was weird warm. Like licking a fresh wound, but sweeter. I think it gave me superhuman strength and speed but I won't know for sure till after I whip this nancy Edward Cunnilingus' pale ass.
Synthetic blood substitute. The fruit punch flavor packs 4 hours of energy along with iron, protein, and electrolytes. Not only does Blood Energy Potion have a similar nutritional makeup to real blood, but it has the same color, look, and consistency. Get real blood nutrients without that real blood taste! Re-sealable transfusion bag style pouch. Contains no real blood, just synthetic!
A 4-pack will set you back $16 but they get cheaper the more you buy. It's definitely a cool product for Halloween and certainly an attention getter. Not as attention getting as actually biting a stranger, but why risk the disease? Because you're crazy, that's why. I say do it. Bite that old lady. BITE HER NOW!
Product Site (order before 3PM tomorrow, October 23rd for Halloween delivery)
Sep 8 2009 Mmmm, Blocky: Rolling LEGO Cookie Cutter
Want to make LEGO shaped cookies? Well you're in luck thanks to this $10 rolling cookie cutter directly from LEGO! Oh, hold the phone -- I just read a review.
I am a very capable and experienced sugar cookie designer. If the dough is not the perfect thickness--not too thick, not too thin, it will stick on the wheel. I very carefully and tediously cut out about 50 of this itty, bitty (1" x 1") bricks on my cookie sheet. I chilled the dough for 1/2 an hour in the refrigerator to help keep the shape during baking. However, they didn't hold their shape during baking because they are so small. They came out of the oven in an unrecognizable shape.
Well, I guess that's out. That's okay though because I bet it still works for Play-Doh. And Play-Doh, as we all know, is delicious. It tastes like gummy-salt! Uh-oh -- another review!
I am so disappointed. We bought the cookie cutter for school bday party and the cake mold for family party. The cookie cutter is cracked on one brick. Used it anyway. The dough sticks to the cutter and is nearly impossible to get it off without ruining the shape. Tried freezing the dough to make it harder. Cuts better but... My son cried after they baked. They look like plain old cookies. The lego shape completely disappears.
BWAHAHAHAHA -- your son cried after they baked! Did you check to make sure his training bra wasn't on too tight? Because that shit can cause serious discomfort. I mean, I'VE HEARD (I wear my roommates bra while she's at work).
Thanks to rox, who once won a bake off and bake on IN THE SAME DAY.
May 22 2009 Magical Wolf Shirt Receives Rave Reviews
A shirt being sold by Amazon that features three wolf heads howling at the moon has receiving over 500 reviews and seriously increased sales. Most of the reviews mention the shirt's magical properties. Here's the one that got it all started:
This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to 'howl at the moon' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they didn't have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.
I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.Pros: Fits my girthy frame, has wolves on it, attracts women
Cons: Only 3 wolves (could probably use a few more on the 'guns'), cannot see wolves when sitting with arms crossed, wolves would have been better if they glowed in the dark.
There you have it. The review was so popular that wolf shirt sales have gone through the roof (up 2,300%), with everybody else trying to score a piece of the magic. Hell, the BBC even did a story on it. Now, if you'll excu....*ripping track jacket off* OW OW OOOOOOOOOWWW!! Come on -- who likes it hairy?
Amazon Product Site
and
Joke review boosts T-shirt sales [bbcnews]
Thanks to gizmoduck, The Superficial Writer, pironic, debaser, Mubbly, Ben, Jacob, Danimal, Pete, Yopoleo, Richard Belding, Brett and Ryan, who know a shirt that will get that ladies when they see it.
Mar 10 2009 Geekologie Review: The Clarion MiND
WOOT -- a product review. I took the Clarion MiND to find the grave of F. Scott Fitzgerald and then, in his honor, to the bar. Hit the jump to find out how it all went down.
Mar 6 2009 Real Product Review Coming!: Clarion MiND
That's right folks, a real, honest-to-God product review from yours truly. It should be up in the next couple of days and will cover the Clarion MiND (Mobile Internet Navigation Device). Per the manufacturer:
Combining personal GPS navigation and real-time Points of Interest (POI) with Internet based entertainment and full web browsing, the easily portable and pocketable Clarion MiND Mobile Internet Navigation Device provides rich GPS navigation with full PC-like Internet browsing capabilities thanks to its 4.8-inch, 800 x 480-pixel touchscreen. You can connect to the Internet via Wi-Fi at home, in the office or via hotspots out and about in the city. The ClarionMiND also allows for Internet connectivity via Bluetooth when paired with a mobile phone.
Expect pictures of my hands, and, if you're lucky, maybe even some of my car's dash! Now, is there anything in particular you want to know before I punch in the address of the nearest liquor store and massage parlor? Ask away, then stay tuned for the lowdown. Oh, and if anyone asks, I'm totally not driving without a license.
Hit the jump for some wack-ass commercial for the thing.
Continue Reading " Real Product Review Coming!: Clarion MiND "
Jul 1 2008 Urban Lounge Gear: The SumoSac
From Sumo Lounge, the same company that brought us the Omni Chair, comes the SumoSac. I personally have one, and it's awesome. And I'm not just saying that because I want to get in good with the company so they'll send me that model's number, but I do think we'd make a good couple. Anyway, SumoSac review in three words: comfortable as hell.
I have the 6 foot model (top right, middle right), but they also come in 5 foot (top left, bottom right) and 4 foot models (bottom left). They'll run you $229, $199, and $179, respectively, and all come with free shipping.
An improved version of the beanbag chair, SumoSac is a more savvy, stylish & comfortable alternative. This product will never decompress & is truly the most comfortable chair in the world at 3ft. high & 6ft. wide covered in micro suede. Made with 100% shredded furniture grade urethane foam. Covers zip-off for machine washing.
They're really not lying about it being the most comfortable thing in the world. I've gamed in it, blogged in it, slept in it, passed out drunk in it, caught the pets curled up in it, gotten intimate with a lady-friend in it, and even hidden underneath it when my girlfriend came home while the aforementioned lady-friend was still there. Needless to say I pretended I was a big, soft-shelled turtle watching a catfight. Unfortunately, I couldn't operate the video camera with my flippers.
Hit the jump for a couple more pictures.
