Jan 7 2009 6-Year Old Misses Bus, Steals Family Car, Learned To Drive Playing Grand Theft Auto
A six-year old (possibly Lil Derrick) missed the school bus and did what any responsible, education-loving tyke would do -- stole his parents' 2005 Ford Taurus and drive his damn self. It almost brings a tear to my eye. Almost. Super villains don't cry though. I ain't no little bitch!
He made at least two 90-degree turns, passed several cars and ran off the rural two-lane road several times before hitting an embankment and utility pole about a mile and a half from school.
The boy told police he learned to drive playing Grand Theft Auto and Monster Truck Jam video games."He was very intent on getting to school," said Northumberland County Sheriff Chuck Wilkins. "When he got out of the car, he started walking to school. He did not want to miss breakfast and PE."
Damn, what a student he must be! I think we've got a future rocket scientist on our hands here. Just kidding, he'll be locked up in no time.
6-year-old takes family car after missing bus [ajc]
Thanks to Chris and Kevin, who never stole cars to get to school because those mutherf***ers had jetpacks, yo!
Nov 8 2007 Man Builds LEGO Air Conditioner
Nathan Sawaya, a man who makes a living building LEGO stuff made a life-size replica of a Carrier brand air conditioner for their convention last year. Then, not to be out done, Bryant Air Conditioning commissioned him to do the same thing for their convention. And he agreed! What a schmuck. How about some air conditioner company loyalty, Nathan? This guy probably has two LEGO brick girlfriends at home and doesn't even have the common courtesy to put one in the closet so she can't see when he's banging the other.
One more of the inside after the jump. Note: The fan actually turns. Whee.
Oct 5 2007 Swoop Scooper Better Than Bare Hands
The swoop is a new take on an old problem -- picking up dog shit. You attach one of the special elastic bags, and it's spring loaded mechanism grabs the crap and turns the bag inside out in one action. It costs $25 and the replacement bags are stupidly expensive. Almost everyone I know just takes a plastic grocery bag with them when they walk their dog. I don't do that. If the dog shits in a neighbor's yard that I don't like then I give it a kick and try to hit their porch. If it's in someone's yard that I like, I just leave it, out of respect.
Scoopin Dog Poo [electroplankton]
