Nov 3 2009 The Gift Of Love: A Beating Heart Plushie
Looking for the perfect gift for that special someone? Give them your heart! Well, not your actual heart (unless you know that creepy mother from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom). With just a shake this $18 anatomically correct heart from ThinkGeek begins making beating noises and pulsating in your lover's hand! Perfect to sleep with whenever your significant other is out of town. Or in town cheating on you!*
*Tear absorbent
ThinkGeek Product Site
via
Plush Beating Heart: Halloween and Valentine's Day All Rolled Up Into One [uberreview]
Sep 14 2009
Starry Nights Baths: Nirvana LED Bathtub
I haven't taken a bath since I was too short to see over the side of the tub, so I don't need a fancy bath fixture. But maybe you do. I heard women take a lot of baths because it makes shaving easier. Speaking of which, what do women shave anyways? I suspect it's their chests!
The Nirvana Bathtub is basically an normal tub that's been outfitted with 360 LED lights on the surface. Touch controls allow you to adjust the lights as well as the water, and a hand shower is motion activated.
Pfft, screw a LED tub -- I'm holding out for a laser bath! I'm gonna get all prune-y and blind at the same time. Just sayin', vision is for the weak and I can benchpress the bar plus 45lbs on each side!
Nirvana bathtub combines a bathtub and a planetarium [dvice]
Aug 24 2009 Eye Candy: Beautiful Dancing Smoke Video
This is a video created by Esteban Diácono to the music of Olafur Arnalds' Ljósið using "Adobe After Effects, particular v2, soundkeys and a little starglow". It's basically a bunch of smoke dancing around. But not like that shit in Lost!
i first imported the audio and set up 2 sounkeys layers, one for the piano and one for the strings. Then i worked the particles and the particle subsystem and linked things like the emission, the turbulence, the velocity, the spin amplitude and the strenght of the fields to the soundkeys outputs. Then i set up the colors with 2 different palettes, and well, after that there was a lot of trial and error in order to achieve what i was looking for. There's a lot of randomness involved in here, so there was also a lot of luck, of course.
I don't really understand any of that, but what's new? The important thing is that you just got paid for watching a three and a half minute video at work. High five!
The most amazing, beautiful and realistic piece of computer art I have ever seen [thenextweb]
Thanks to Andrew, who once inhaled some of that smoke and got all high as a kite and forgot to catch the bus.
Jul 20 2009 What Led Up To The WoW Freak Out Video
Allegedly this is the footage that led up to the infamous World of Warcraft freak-out video. Basically, kid has a dick for a brother and some serious anger management issues. Now I'm not saying he has serial killer written all over him, but he did try to sodomize himself with a remote in a fit of rage. Which I do, and I'm no serial killer. So I think he'll be okay.
Thanks to chrissy mc poopypantsbaconlover, who might want to lay off the bacon for awhile. I kid, totally worth it.
Mar 27 2009 Cockatiel Singing 'Saria's Song' From Zelda
This is a video of somebody's pet cockatiel singing 'Saria's Song' from The Ocarina of Time (and Majora's Mask and Twilight Princess). The video itself is like three years old though, so I want you to remember to point that out in the comments. Go on, do it. OLD! to you heart's content. Then, when you're done, maybe you could, I dunno, type something meaningful. BWAHAAHAHAHAHAAAHA!! Something meaningful! *wipes tear*
Thanks to kat, who was training her parakeet to sing 'The Song Of Time' but it flew away.
Mar 24 2009 Kid Plays Mos Eisley Cantina Song On Harp
This is 12 year old Benjamin playing the iconic song from the Mos Eisley Cantina on a harp. He's pretty good. You know, I always wanted a harp growing up but my parents were too cheap to buy me one. So to spite them, I picked up the skin-flute. *TOOT TOOT TOOT TOOTLE TOOT* Whoa, Link, what are you doing here?
Thanks to Tim, who just wants to bang on his drums all day.
Mar 12 2009 See It In Action!: The UroClub Commercial
We posted on the awesomeness that is the UroClub last year. And now, there's a commercial that explains just how easy and convenient it is to use (read: screw cap off, piss in it, screw cap on). Best quote: "The UroClub comes with a towel and appears that you're just checking out your club." Also, I loved how the last five seconds of the commercial featured three guys standing side by side pissing on a tree and pretending they're not trying to sneak a peak at each others' johnsons. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it common courtesy to leave at least one tree between you and another pisser? Just sayin'.
Gold Club Fail [failblog]
Thanks to iron angel for hitting me with the follow up. Now hit me with those digits, girl! That is, if you are a girl. Otherwise, forget that number I gave you.
Feb 11 2009 'Invisible' Treehouse Hotel Is Hard To Find
Let's face it, we all want to live in treehouses. Unfortunately, I purchased all the remaining trees on earth, so it looks like you suckers are out of luck. Hey, there's always telephone poles. Also, I will be selling acorns for $1,000 a pop. Anyway, this is a treehouse hotel constructed of mirrored glass by Swedish architectural firm Tham & Videgard Hansson Arkitekter.
It is an old architectural trick used since the invention of mirrored glass: covering buildings with the reflective material and declaring that they blend in with the surroundings. Most architects use it to convince wary citizens that it is OK if their building is tall because it will reflect the sky and nature. The rendering always makes the building disappear, and the reality is always a big clunky mirrored box.
I like it. And not just because I was conceived in a treehouse. Because I wasn't -- I was conceived in the trunk of an Oldsmobile after a drug deal gone horribly wrong. Oh, I'm sorry -- was that too romantic to tell this close to Valentine's?
Hit the jump for schematics of what the inside looks like.
Continue Reading " 'Invisible' Treehouse Hotel Is Hard To Find "
Feb 9 2009 Make Calls In Private With The Isophone
The Isophone may like a giant waterbug banging your brain, but it's actually a device designed to provide uninterrupted peace and quiet while you're making phone calls.
The Isophone is essentially a telecommunications device providing a service that can be described simply as a meeting of the telephone and the floatation tank. The user wears a helmet that blocks out all peripheral sensory distraction whilst keeping the head above the surface of the water... a space is created for providing a pure, distraction free environment for making a telephone call.
I need one. Like yesterday. Ooh, and a pool. This bathtub just isn't cutting it anymore. *knocking* Damnit -- SHUT UP MOM I'M TRYING TO CONCENTRATE! What's that? Fish sticks for dinner? Hot damn, I'll be out in a sec!
Hit the jump for several more shots of this chick using the device.
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Oct 13 2008 $43 Japanese Stress-Relieving Milk
Stressed? Love milk? How about a $43 bottle of stress-relieving milk straight from the Lon-Lon Ranch?
Tokyo-based Nakazawa Foods will launch the "Adult Milk" line of products in October targetting "adults who live in a stressful society," the company said in a statement. The milk is taken from cows once a week at the break of dawn, as they discharge a lot of a stress-relieving hormone called melatonin during the night, the company said. It is said to contain three to four times as much melatonin as usual milk.
Mmm, stress-relieving milk. But $43? No way. So here's what you do: go to a strip club, a really seedy one. Oh, and one that stays open till 5am (when melatonin production is at its peak). Then pay one of strippers that just gave birth $2 for a taste. And, if it's legit, offer her a five-spot to fill up an empty beer bottle.
Japanese can now buy stress-relief milk -- for 43 dollars per bottle [akihabaranews]
Thanks to Karina, who agrees you should be allowed to suck straight from the teat for $1.
Jul 7 2008 Kinetic Ball Sculpture At The BMW Museum
Okay so I've been sitting here playing Bomberman on FireNES and pretending those sick, sick women were the enemies in the game. It wasn't working so I went outside and cut down one of my asshole neighbor's trees. Now I'm feeling a little better, but not much. I figured I'd try and post a nice soothing video to make up for that last one that undoubtedly left you permanently scarred.
This is a video of a kinetic ball sculpture in the recently reopened BMW museum in Munich. It has some elevator music playing in the background that'll either put you to sleep or make you want to kill those Star Wars murderers depending on how you feel about ultra-light jazz. Each of the sculpture's 714 metallic balls is held up by string and moves to create some pretty cool looking effects. The last fifteen seconds are the best though, when the balls come together to take the shape of a car. Way to go BMW. Now if you could just spend a little less time playing with your dangling marbles and a little more getting my driver's-side door to open, we'll be all set.
Hit the jump to see a picture of a car the sculpture sometimes makes.
Continue Reading " Kinetic Ball Sculpture At The BMW Museum "
Jun 23 2008 Cool: Take A Bath Under The Stars Without Exposing Yourself To The Elderly Neighbors
The Homestar Spa by SEGA Toys turns your bathroom into a planetarium whenever you're taking a bath. You just fill up the tub, strip down to your birthday suit (or a towel if you're a prude like the chick in the photos), and hop on in. Then, with a flick of its switch, the $70 unit instantly fills your bathroom with hundreds of trillions of millions of "stars". Not feeling stars tonight? No problem, flip the unit over and hit the switch again to fill the bottom of your tub with a, uh, bloody mess.
Sega's Homestar Spa: Planetarium edition [engadget]
Thanks to Julian, who calls the model in the photos despite her obvious prudishness.
Dec 11 2007 Newspaper Brick Maker Starts Fires
If you have a fireplace and can't get a good blaze going (you're a little girl), maybe you should consider the Newspaper Brick Maker. It costs $30 and turns old newspapers into firestarting bricks of goodness. It might make you feel better than you would if you just threw old newspapers away without recycling them. I must say, I received one as an early Christmas gift from my girlfriend and it works great -- as a meatloaf mold. The idiot failed to notice the house we've lived in for two years doesn't have a fireplace.
Note: It's almost time to start accepting new girlfriend applications again. I'm just waiting to see the look on her face when she opens her Christmas present -- a set of keys to a sports car that doesn't exist. After that I'm dropping her.
Fireplace Brick Maker [ubergizmo]
Nov 20 2007 Toilet Tunes Prevents Unwanted Situations
The Toilet Tunes Automatic Bathroom Entertainment device plays music whenever your toilet lid is up. You get to choose what you listen to, like soothing jazz, Latin guitar, modern techno/ pop or nature sounds (rain, ocean waves, mountain stream). It costs $30 and runs on 3 AAA batteries. The idea is that it will remind men to put the seat and lid down, as well as provide extra privacy. Because nobody likes hearing another person use the restroom. I'm definitely getting one for the apartment. I swear my roommate actually catches air based on some of the sounds I hear coming from the bathroom. One day he'll be yelling for help because he blasted himself through the ceiling.
Toilet Tunes - Music for your throne [coolestgadgets]
Nov 1 2007 Zen Dolphin Relaxation Aid Is Questionable
The Zen Dolphin is a glowing blue plastic dolphin that's supposed to help you relax. It moves like it's swimming.
Relax as you watch Zen Dolphin magically swim above its illuminating base. Beautiful blue light makes it appear as though Zen Dolphin is effortlessly swimming through the sea. Perfect for home, as a night light, the office and more!
It costs around $40, and takes 3 C batteries. It also plays some underwater sounds and dolphin noises. I don't know about you, but it makes perfect sense to me. I get pretty stressed here in my cubicle, and I was just thinking the other day "You know what would really help me unwind? A giant plastic dolphin humping my desk. That should do the trick."
Video demonstration after the jump.
Continue Reading " Zen Dolphin Relaxation Aid Is Questionable "
