Nov 2 2009 Oooh, Nice Wheels: Pac-Man Drives In Style

I've often wondered what kind of car Pac-Man would drive, and now I know. He doesn't just gobble dots -- he gobbles the dotted line! OM NOM NOM!! And, in case you can't see this and somebody is reading it to you, the car is bright red and yellow. Kind of like a firetruck/schoolbus combo. Which -- these kids are heroes, damnit!

Hit the jump for several more shots of the car including the sweet rims.

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Oct 22 2009 Geekologie Review: Blood Energy Potion

I drank this stuff, it was good. It's thick and tastes like Hawaiian Punch concentrate. They recommend you put it in the microwave for 14 seconds to heat it up to body temperate. I did that. That made it warm. It was weird warm. Like licking a fresh wound, but sweeter. I think it gave me superhuman strength and speed but I won't know for sure till after I whip this nancy Edward Cunnilingus' pale ass.

Synthetic blood substitute. The fruit punch flavor packs 4 hours of energy along with iron, protein, and electrolytes. Not only does Blood Energy Potion have a similar nutritional makeup to real blood, but it has the same color, look, and consistency. Get real blood nutrients without that real blood taste! Re-sealable transfusion bag style pouch. Contains no real blood, just synthetic!

A 4-pack will set you back $16 but they get cheaper the more you buy. It's definitely a cool product for Halloween and certainly an attention getter. Not as attention getting as actually biting a stranger, but why risk the disease? Because you're crazy, that's why. I say do it. Bite that old lady. BITE HER NOW!

Product Site (order before 3PM tomorrow, October 23rd for Halloween delivery)

Sep 21 2009 Reptilian Crime Fighters: Spiderman Lizards

Apparently Spiderman fans are getting their radioactive panties in a bunch over Agamas, lizards with a coloration that resembles that of the superhero. Best reason ever to get a pet? Probably not.

The vivid red-and-blue colouring is almost uncannily like that of the Marvel superhero, and comic book fans have been flocking to exotic pet shops to snap them up.

Native to Kenya, the rock agama (Agama mwanzae) is unable to throw webs, but can change colour - the brightly coloured males will change brown at night or if frightened. They can also run on their hind legs, and - like Spidey - can scale vertical walls.

As many of you may know, I was an amateur herpetologist in a past life. So I like lizards. BUT NOT TROUSER SNAKES! Not speaking of which, did I ever tell you about the time I put a poison dart frog in my mouth? Because that was the end of that life. The time after I tried stealing a grizzly bear's cub!

Hit the jump for another shot of the red and blue bastard.

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Aug 26 2009 Genius: Booze Light Helps Prevents Spillage

The ElectraPour LED bottle top was designed to light up the stream of fire-water pouring from a bottle so that when you're home alone drinking in the dark you don't miss your glass (read: man up and drink from the bottle like a normal damn person). Each top will set you back $7.30 or you can pick up one short of a baker's dozen for $81. Alternatively, only drink liquor over 150 proof and always light it on fire. But if you do, remember these important words: stop, drop and pop & lock. Now you're breakdancing on fire!

Hit the jump for a video of the light in action.

Continue Reading " Genius: Booze Light Helps Prevents Spillage "

Aug 5 2009 Cool: When Lasers And Sharpies Collide

I honestly have no idea what I just watched but it had something to do with lasers and Sharpies, both of which I am huge fans of (I love your music!). Something about a laser and music and following a line. Honestly, the video could be fake for all I know. Haha, kidding -- I know everything. Well, not everything. I WAS ASKING FOR YOUR NUMBER, GOD!

Youtube

Thanks to chubo, who once mounted a laser inside a Sharpie and then forgot and burnt a nostril trying to huff it.

Jul 31 2009 A-Ha!: So That's The Other Half Of The Battle

This $20 t-shirt depicts what the other, more mysterious half of a G.I. Joe battle is. Now I would have guessed it's a pork chop sandwich/body massage combo, but what do I know? Besides, oh I dunno, EVERYTHING AND THEN SOME. Numbers? I KNOW MY NUMBERS. You + me + ice cream = <3

Product Site

Thanks to Julian and Rastapopolous, who sunshine day ya a time for de bus rida.

Jul 21 2009 Luke, Help Me Find My Keys: The Lightsaber Flashlight

This $25 flashlight is a replica of Darth Vader's lightsaber and sports 4 red LEDs. It's powered by the dark side 3 AAA batteries and is perfect for walking the dog or finding your eyeglasses in a flower bed. It is not perfect for fighting the forces of good. Because the forces of good carry tasers and won't hesitate to use them. TASERED!

Lightsaber flashlight cuts through the darkness [dvice]

Thanks to FDSY, who once brained the forces of evil with a Maglite.

Jul 20 2009 Found Her!: Carmen Sandiego Spotted In Wild

I swear this is old, but honestly, that's never stopped me from posting anything in the past, so why stop now? I'M RUNNING THIS RED LIGHT! Anyway, the law finally caught up with Carmen Sandiego at an undisclosed airport. And as you can see, she hasn't aged as well as I was hoping. Remember when Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? first came out and your friend convinced you if you beat the game 200 times you got to see her naked? Yeah, I know all my world capitals.

Carmen Sandiego Has Been Found! [geekstir]

Thanks to Joemo, who once found a Carmen Sandiego shaped barbecue chip but accidentally broke it before he could sell it on eBay.

Apr 6 2009 Cool: PEW PEW Laser Fashion PEW PEW

Hussein Chalayan is a fashion *PEW PEW!* designer I've never heard of, but that's *PEW PEW!* okay because there are probably only a handful of names I would *PEW PEW!* recognize anyway. Unlike The Superficial Writer who, *PEW PEW!*, can rattle off their names and collections faster than you a normal man can *PEW PEW!* fire up a chainsaw. In this particular showcase, now to be known as The PEW PEW! Collection, Husssein had engineer Moritz Waldemeyer add servo-driven *PEW PEW!* lasers to the dresses. Nice, guys. As you can see, the *PEW PEW!* dresses are sure to be a big *PEW PEW!* hit at raves. Unfortunately, you may never *PEW PEW!* see one because I'm suing the pants (!) off Chalayan. You see, I burnt my *PEW PEW!* retinas out trying to score an upskirt shot.

Hit the *PEW PEW!* jump for a bunch *PEW PEW!* more.

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Apr 5 2009 Let Me Guess, Robots Invented These Too: Little Batteries Powered By Human Blood

It may look like the world's smallest golden wallet, but it's actually a cyborg battery. You see, in the future robots will harvest humans to provide the blood they need to recharge their batteries. Well, happy Sunday to you too!

A small colony of yeast lives inside each battery, and this living core of the fuel cell can draw energy from glucose (sugar) in blood flowing around it. According to New Scientist:

The yeast-based fuel cell produces around 40 nanowatts of power, compared to the microwatt a typical wristwatch battery might produce, Chaio says. That might be enough power for some devices if it were coupled with a capacitor to allow energy to be stored. The yeast could also be genetically engineered to boost its power output.

Great news. No really, that's just wonderful. Currently, scientists are considering the cyborg battery for use in pacemakers and other implantable devices, while robots are considering how much blood they need to power chainsaws and laser blasters. But I'll tell you one thing -- ain't no robotic vampire drilling this neck. Eat oak, Dracu-bot! *tink* Oh shit.

Batteries That Feed on Blood [io9]

Thanks to David, Jon and Jamie, who refuse to donate blood to a damn robot.

Mar 24 2009 British Scientists Producing Synthetic Blood

Apparently British scientists are ahead of everyone else in the race to produce a synthetic blood supply using stem cells. Go you, Britain, here's a teacake.

Because stem cells multiply indefinitely, it would be possible to enormous quantities, researchers said.

The cells can be made from universal donor embryos - the O-negative type - and can be guaranteed to be free of infections because they have never been inside a human.

The idea of destroying embryos to create stem cells raises ethical issues, but in theory, just one embryo could meet the nation's needs.

Stem cells aside, I think the real issue is this: if synthetic blood is so readily available, how are we going to track the vampire population? I've seen Blade, those bastards are crafty. I suggest we start culling the herd now before it's too late. And speaking of culling -- I'll take care of Edward, you get the rest.

British scientists on course to become the first to produce synthetic human blood [dailymail]

Thanks to phuzzygish, who one made some pretty believable synthetic blood with corn syrup and food coloring.

Mar 7 2009 Sleek Computer Case Designed By BMW

This is a prototype computer case designed by BMW and Thermaltake. It's called 'Level 10' and would get the shit stomped out of it by my 'Level 80' Paladin.

What a brilliant idea -- let's stop hiding PC components inside boxes, shine them up in stainless steel and black air-directing shrouds, and leave those innards out in the open for all to see. The concept is similar to those lofts with all the exposed piping and ventilation ductwork. It's positively postmodern.

Uh, am I the only once that noticed it doesn't look anything like a car? WTFBMW? Seriously, call me back when it has anti-lock brakes and a leather interior. Oh, and heated seats.

Level 10: the inside-out PC from an alternate dimension [dvice]

Thanks to DZ and Gingerbird, who once joyrode a BMW straight into a lake.

Feb 13 2009 Batwoman Is Back And Lesbian-er Than Ever

After 30 years, Batwoman is back on the prowl. As a redhead! And a lesbian! YOW YOW!

Billed as a 'lesbian socialite by night and a crime-fighter by later in the night', she replaces Batman, who was himself killed off in a recent issue of Detective Comics, the publication which introduced him to the world back in 1937.

Batwoman - the alter ego of Kathy Kane - is clad in a figure-hugging black outfit and knee-high red stiletto boots. She is the comic's first openly gay superhero.

She was originally invented as a love interest for Batman and first appeared in her present present incarnation two years ago, sparking a slew of publicity about her sexuality. However, her outings to date have been sporadic and this is the first time she will be the lead character in the comic.

Well it's about time. After all, gays are superheroes too. Am I right? Damn yeah I am. Also, I demand a Batwoman movie be made. With kissing, looooots of kissing. Mwah XOXOX kissey mwah mwah XOXOXO kissey kissey. Oh yeah, that's the stuff romance novels are made of.

Holy Smoke! Batwoman makes her comic book comeback as red-headed lesbian [dailymail]

Thanks to Allison, who could whip Batwoman's ass in a catfight, claws down.

Feb 11 2009 Different Geeky Takes On The Iconic Obama 'Hope' Poster

Remember the iconic 'Hope' posters used during Obama's presidential campaign? Ha, how could you forget, they're burnt into your retinas the way -- HEY LOOK AT THIS! -- my genitals now are. Well the website obamicon.me has been kicking it for a while, allowing any Tom, Dick, or Jane to make their own inspirational poster and message using a photo they upload. So go make one. Then post a link to it in the comments. But more importantly, hit the jump for a gallery of posters that are way cooler than the one you were going to make. Unless, of course, you were going to make one with a picture of me that says 'DOPE', in which case, yes, I am pretty fly.

Hit it for the galleria.

Continue Reading " Different Geeky Takes On The Iconic Obama 'Hope' Poster "

Feb 5 2009 Verizon Customer Service Reps Fail At Math

This is a call to Verizon in which neither of the two customer service reps that get on the phone can distinguish the difference between $0.002 and 0.002¢. Thank God that wasn't me, because I would have shot a laserbeam out of my eyes and accidentally killed the cat. No, I don't have a cell phone, so I don't have to worry about incompetent customer service reps. But what I do have to worry about is rats gnawing through my land line. I saw one drag a whole loaf of bread behind the refrigerator!

Youtube
via
Failblog

Thanks to Joel, Chad and Ollie Williams, who once killed a 411 operator for giving them the wrong number to a nudey bar.

Nov 13 2008 A Peek At The Terminator Salvation Bike

Allegedly this is the 'Moto-Terminator' bike set to appear in next year's Terminator Salvation featuring Christian Bale and Dick Dragon.

Production director Martin Laing was responsible for envisioning some of the near-future killing devices, and has created (among a lot of other scary looking metal) this Moto-Terminator motorcycle. The bike seems to be the chilling Terminator character we know and love in motorcycle form (note the signature red "eyes"), replete with plenty of new mean toys attached.

ZOMG, the Terminator as a motorcycle. What will they think of next?

A: Transformers.

'Moto-Terminator' Bike Coming to Terminator Salvation [nextautos]

Thanks to Jordon, who once fell off the back of a motorcycle and into a homeless bag-lady's heart.

Aug 11 2008 Paint Drip Table Is Neat, Drippy, Trippy

This is a table from designer John Nouanesing. It's called Paint or die but Love Me. If you can't tell because pictures don't work on your fancy electronic typewriter or something, the table looks like it's made of dripping paint. Neat idea, John, but I think it's missing something like, oh I don't know -- legs. You designed a table and forgot the legs. You're a maroon!

NOTE: Please don't email or comment to let me know that the drips are, in fact, the legs. I think you and I both know that's bullshit and you're a witch or sorcerer for even insinuating.

Awesome liquid table [qbn]

Thanks to Melissa, who actually made a table out of paint. Which, by mathematical theorem, makes her mad cooler.

May 20 2008 Coca-Cola Vending Robots Spotted In Japan

So apparently Coca-Cola has these oversized robotic bastards lumbering around Tokyo and pinching the heads off anyone that doesn't buy an ice-cold Coke from its cooling chamber. Has anybody seen one? Do they actually walk around? Is there really just a person about to pass out from heatstroke in there? Has anyone tried knocking one over and prying its change receptacle open with a flathead? I need answers. But what I don't need is a giant robotic vending machine in my neighborhood. I do like Coke though. Who I don't like is Dr. Pepper -- I think that creep tried to touch me when I was under the gas.

coca-cola robots invade japan [technabob]

photo [flickr]

Thanks Steve, lets go robot tipping sometime

May 9 2008 Emergency Party Button May Create An Impromptu Sausage Fest, But Hopefully Not, Unless That's What You Were Hoping For

You come home from a long day at the office and it's time to get your swerve on. What do you do? Push the Emergency Party Button of course!

Basically, it is exactly what it sounds like; a button that instantly launches a party. When pressed, the blinds to my apartment close, the kitchen, hallway, dining room, and living room lights dim, the stereo starts blasting Haddaway - What Is Love, black lights turn on, laser lights start moving to the music, a strobe light goes on, and the fog machine starts up. With another press of the button, the party is gone as easily as it started. It may not be the most hi-tech thing in the world, but people sure as hell love it when they come over.

There's a build page here if you're interested in making one yourself. I'm definitely going to, but with a twist. Instead of being an emergency "party" button, it's going to be an emergency "uh-oh, I think that's my girlfriend at the door" button. It won't play music or dim any lights, but it will start the ignition on my jetpack.

A worthwhile video of the system in action after the jump. Oh, and another highly questionable one of some MIT kids that made something similar in their dormroom.

Continue Reading " Emergency Party Button May Create An Impromptu Sausage Fest, But Hopefully Not, Unless That's What You Were Hoping For "

Mar 24 2008 Monocycle Only Seats One For A Reason

Because there's no way in hell a woman would ever want to get on that thing with you. It just screams "I can juggle and perform magic tricks". Not that you juggling magicians out there aren't cool. You're just cool in a way that doesn't make women want to have sex with you. Anyways, if you're a risk taker and still want one the cycle has a 31cc engine, top speed of 25MPH, and a half gallon of fuel will get you two hours of riding enjoyment. It costs $13,000, which is more than a nice used car. Which would be a lot more practical. A nice used cat, however, would not be. Unless it was Cringer, He-Man's Battle Cat. Did I really just go there? Damn yeah I did. Castle Grayskull bitches, what?

Frightening Looking Motorized Monocycle [uberreview]