Jun 11 2009 Um, Hooray?: Smurf Party Sets World Record

Proving beyond a shadow of a doubt you can score a Guinness World Record for absolutely anything, a group of 2,510 students in Swansea, UK donned Smurf costumes and became "the largest gathering of people dressed as Smurfs". Wow, that's a whole lot of blue penises.

The record was previously held by the town of Castleblayney in County Monaghan, Ireland, which recorded 1,253 Smurfs gathered in the high street last year.

"This is just the beginning of our world record run. We are hoping to set, break and smash Guinness World Records for iconic characters from Daleks to Superheroes. Watch this space."

Well, isn't that something? I'm all for the continued cosplayery. May I suggest the largest crowd of naked female Wonderwomen anything. Also, you can't trust those goons from Guinness, so I'll be officiating.

Hit the jump for a partial shot of a Smurf's ass.

Continue Reading " Um, Hooray?: Smurf Party Sets World Record "

May 12 2009 So, Yeah: The DJ Hero Turntable Peripheral

So this is the first look at the DJ Hero turntable peripheral. As you can see, they make it look like a turntable, but with buttons (and sadly no knobs). Three of them. Let's see, there's a, um, purple one, a yellow one and a....and a....*sniffle* I never learned my colors! But I did learn my tastes. OM NOM NOM. Ass. This sandwich tastes like ass.

Hit the jump for one more shot.

Continue Reading " So, Yeah: The DJ Hero Turntable Peripheral "

Apr 28 2009 The 'Spinning From A Drill' World Record

Ever wanted to see some asshat set the world record for number of rotations completed (141) while hanging from a power drill mounted to the ceiling? Me neither. But I did watch it, and now it's your turn. And, if you just so happens you're one of those people that can't watch videos at work, congratulations, today's your lucky day.

Man Makes 141 Rotations Hanging From a Power Drill, Sets Stupid World Record [gizmodo]

Thanks to Eric, who holds the world record for beating up people with stupid world records. Uh-oh, Eric, you may have to punch yourself!

Mar 17 2009 The World's Most Cussingest Video Game

Goes to Sega's The House of the Dead: Overkill for the Wii, with over 189 f-bombs dropped throughout the game. This knowledge comes to us from the ever diligent Guiness World Book of Records, who have apparently started recording the number of bad words in video games in addition to the world's longest toenails. Good for you. And what did Headstrong Games' writer Jonathan Burroughs have to say about the feat?

It is a dubious honour to receive such an accolade working in an industry where so often the fruits of your labours are derided and dismissed for being puerile or irresponsible, but in the case of The House of the Dead: OVERKILL a little puerility was the order of business. Parodying the profane excess of grindhouse cinema was Headstrong Games' objective and I am flattered that this record acknowledges that we not only rose to that challenge, but entirely exceeded it.

Nice. Do you see what happens? Do you see what happens, Jonathan? DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FIND A STRANGER IN THE ALPS!?! Congratulations. And also, OVER THE LINE! Mark it zero dude, next frame.

House Of The Dead: Overkill Sets World Record For Swearing [vgchartz]

Thanks to Julian, who once got kicked out of a class in college for cussing but then went to visit his professor during office hours and totally made out with her. Yeah, on her gradebook and everything. So, high-five for that, Julian.

Jan 16 2009 Oh Wow -- An Even Worse Text-Messager

Remember the story earlier in the week about the girl that sent 14,528 text messages in a month? Well, it turns out she's not the only daughter I'd lock in the basement. Emilee Cox, a 14 year old from Clermont, Florida, sent and received 35,463 texts in a single month. Which, granted, were probably only half actually sent messages. But still, get a life. The best part of the interview:

Haha. Your dad was supposed to email me a picture of you to use. Do you know if he found one?
Uhm idk i think my sister is sending him one.

Got the photos. You are 14, right?
Yes i am.

Wow, even I found that creepy. Anybody else get the feeling the interviewer was at least partially responsible for Willy Wonka's third-quarter earnings?

Full text message interview with Clermont teen who had 35,463 text messages in a month [orlandosentinel]

Thanks to Jessica, who won't return my texts. WHAT'D I DO!?

Jan 12 2009 Girl Sends 14,528 Text Messages In A Month

Reina Hardesty, 13, sent 14,528 text messages last month alone. That's a lot. I wonder if she has carpal tunnel. Or really swollen thumbs.

The online AT&T statement ran 440 pages.

"First, I laughed. I thought, 'That's insane, that's impossible,' " the 45-year-old dad said. "And I immediately whipped out (my junk and) the calculator to see if it was humanly possible." He found it was - barely.

It works out to 484 text messages a day, or one every two minutes of every waking hour.

Luckily, Hardesty has a phone plan that allows unlimited texting for $30 a month. Otherwise, he estimates, he would have owed AT&T $2,905.60 at a rate of 20 cents per message.

The average number of monthly texts for a 13- to 17-year-old teen is 1,742, according to a Nielsen study of cellphone usage.

Wow. I can remember (two months ago) when I had to upgrade from 1,500 texts a month to unlimited because I kept going over. Now before you pass judgment, let me explain: I'm mad freaking popular! Just kidding, text sex. No, not with myself! With myself :(

THIS KID'S A TEXT MANIAC [nypost]

Nov 21 2008 Bridge Constructed By Shooting Cable-Carrying Rockets Across Huge Valley

Just look at that bridge. I was almost tempted to call it Photoshopped, but then I remembered I'm not a stupid idiot. The Siduhe Grand Bridge has been in construction for over 4 years and stands 2,132 feet above the ground below. Holy shit! One of the initial problems with building the bridge was how to get the 3,200ft long cables across the valley. The answer? Attach them to rockets and blast them across.

so you've erected the enormous towers on each side of the deep valley, deeper than any valley previously bridged. how do you get a pilot cable from one tower to the next? previous solutions have included: attaching the cable to a kite and flying it over (e.g. niagara falls suspension bridge), carrying one end by helicopter (e.g. akashi kaikyo bridge) and floating one end on a boat (e.g. brooklyn bridge). the brains behind the siduhe bridge decided to ignore all those options and break another record instead. they attached the 3200ft cables to rockets and accurately fired them over the valley, becoming the first people to do so.

Hell yes! Ah, ingenuity at its finest. And also, rocket power. PSSSSSHOOOW! But seriously, for a case of beer I'll let you shoot me out of a cannon. Two cases and I'll even wear a paper hat.

Hit the jump for several pictures of the actual rocket firings. Pretty cool stuff.

Continue Reading " Bridge Constructed By Shooting Cable-Carrying Rockets Across Huge Valley "

Nov 21 2008 Record Base Jump Off The Burj Dubai

Two thrillseekers snuck into the Burj Dubai in May while it was being built and jumped off at 650 meters up. You know, because they're crazy. Crazy risk takers. Rumor has it one of the guys even went as far as to have sex with a prostitute without putting a jacket on first. Yeah, and there was a frost warning in effect!

Two Guys Jumped Off the Burj Dubai and Lived to Tell About It [gizmodo]

Oct 27 2008 Dying Is Fun!: Rocket Car To Go 1,000 MPH

In 1997 Pilot Andy Green went 763mph in the Thrust SuperSonic Car, and now, 10 years later, is building a car that will potentially hit 1,000mph. And, hopefully for him, nothing else.

"Bloodhound isn't just about building a quick car," Andy told us. "Our main concern is education - we want this to be inspire kids to get into engineering. What better way to spark-up enthusiasm than building a 1000 mph car, then building the theory behind it into the National Curriculum?"

And consider this: 1000mph is literally faster than a speeding bullet. "If you shot at me with a hand gun, the bullet would just gently nudge into the back of the car," Green says.

Wow, faster than a speeding bullet -- move over Superman! Seriously, scoot the f*** over, you just touched my leg.

Hit the jump for several more conceptual pictures, a video of the Thrust run, and a conceptual video of the Bloodhound.

Continue Reading " Dying Is Fun!: Rocket Car To Go 1,000 MPH "

Oct 9 2008 Cool!: Sound Chasers Make Music

Sound Chasers are little cars that ride on strips of vinyl records that have been cut and connected together to form a track, playing the music as they cruise along. Awesome idea, but they sound like a cacophony. Going a step further and actually making a track that produces a good beat would be have been nice. But like most things in life, you don't always get the nice. Sometimes you get the ugly. Like last night. Thankfully I realized what I was doing on the ride home and pulled a 'duck and roll' out the passenger side door. In hindsight, I probably should have told her to take the wheel and used my own door, but seriously, fight or flight. I flew. Straight into a fire hydrant. Now it hurts to breathe.

Tiny Chaser in my Hand [yankodesign]

Thanks to Karina, who, for two tips in one day, gets a free Whopper coupon.

Oct 6 2008 Tallest Lego Tower Record Already Beaten

Sometimes victory is fleeting. You have to realize that you can't have the tallest LEGO tower forever, and that some jerks from Vienna are probably gonna trump you within months of the feat. And that's exactly what happened. Hundreds of children helped construct the tower to celebrate the 100 Years of Friends of Children (WTF?) festival. And you know what? The kids didn't even have the common courtesy to blow the other tower out of the water. Nope, they just made theirs 7" taller, for a height of 96.72 feet. You see, that's the matter with kids these days, they're freaking lazy. If they're not playing video games, they're just barely beating world records. Seriously, somebody should build one to the damn moon already. Imagine -- a LEGO tower six miles high!

Lego Tower Record Broken [uberreview]

Thanks to Delphine, who's gonna help me start construction ASAP.

Sep 17 2008 World's Shortest Man Meets Leggiest Woman

The Guinness Book of World Records held an event yesterday in Trafalgar Square to celebrate the release of the 2009 edition. Among the attendees were Svetlana Pankratova, world's leggiest woman (at 52"), and He Pingping, the world's shortest man (at 2' 5.37"). As you can see, the photoshoot gave He the perfect opportunity to score a worm's eye view of Svetlana's love nest. Nice He, but if I was you I would have climbed one of those legs and built a treehouse.

Shortest Man Meets Leggiest Woman [aol]

Thanks to Pat, who swears he dated a chick with even longer legs and had to use a grappling hook to have sex.

Aug 4 2008 Plastinkuzz: Questionable DJ Scratchers

Plastinkuzz are little stereoscopic cards that you scratch and allegedly sound like a real record. That, of course, is debatable. They're made by Art Lebedev, and come in a variety of color combinations, because that's important. Hit the jump to see said color options and a very worthwhile video that, if you make it all the way through, you win a prize. Now I hate to ruin a surprise, but your prize is one minute and twenty-eight seconds stolen from your life (kind of like "the Machine" in The Princess Bride, but far less cool). Seriously though, I've been playing the Plastinkuzz since I was a kid. Except back then we called them corduroys. I had the jacket and the pants.

Hit the jump for one more picture and a video you really should at least watch the first ten seconds of -- the second guy is hilarious.

Continue Reading " Plastinkuzz: Questionable DJ Scratchers "

Jun 26 2008 World's Largest Pool: No, Not The Ocean

Although it might as well be. The San Alfonso del Mar is a 1,013 meter, 19-acre pool on the central coast of Chile. It holds 66 million gallons of filtered sea-water and even has a 115-foot deep end (making it even deeper than yesterday's pool). Although I think we can all agree this is actually less of a pool and more of a man-made lake. I have a rule: if you can boat on it, it's not a pool. But that's just me. As you can see, the pool is just a stone's throw from the beach, which begs the question, "Did you not see that massive natural pool right there before you built this thing?" Regardless, it took approximately five years and $2 billion to complete. Maintenance costs are estimated to be about $4 million a year -- and that's just to retrieve floaters!

Hit the jump for several more pictures of the ridiculousness.

Continue Reading " World's Largest Pool: No, Not The Ocean "

Jun 25 2008 Little Kid Rollerskates Under Cars, Is Limber

I've been watching videos of kids rollerskating under cars for like ten years, so this may be old to many of you. But for those of you who haven't seen it, it'll be freaking nuts. It's a 6-year old Indian kid who sets records skating under cars while in the splits. When he gets down he's no more than 8-inches in total height. Hit the jump for a couple videos of the feat, it's amazing. Not as amazing as when I rollerskate under cars, but that's because I perform on the highway. Do I have a death wish? No. Am I nuts? Maybe. Do they drag on the pavement when I skate? Yes.

Hit it for the videos.

Continue Reading " Little Kid Rollerskates Under Cars, Is Limber "

May 27 2008 Touchscreen Turntables Require No Records

Let's face it: records are round and made of vinyl. The ATTIGO: TT is the brainchild of Dundee University student Scott Hobbs and is basically two digital turntables (with waveforms displayed) that allows DJ's to "loop, sample and scratch wave forms just as you would a record." Scott is currently looking for manufacturers interested in producing the ATTIGO, and I'm currently looking for a new girlfriend interested in producing beautiful music. But just with me -- not my roommate and the Fed-Ex guy while I'm busy mowing the yard. I HATE YOU JANET! YOU'RE LOOSE AND NOW EVERYONE ON GEEKOLOGIE KNOWS IT.

UPDATE: YOU DIRTY STRUMPET!

UPDATE: Okay, we're back together. But I'm leaving this up because I know she's gonna end up banging the dude that works the aquarium section at the local pet store. I've seen the way they flirt around the cichlids.

UPDATE: Wow, the reptile guy too. Didn't see that coming. Nice touch you skank.

A worthwhile VIDEO of the unit in action after the jump.

Continue Reading " Touchscreen Turntables Require No Records "

May 6 2008 Tallest LEGO Tower Is Pretty Tall, But Wired

I know what you're all thinking, "Damn, Geekologie ain't had no sweet LEGO posts in awhile, how am I supposed to get my fix?" Well put the needles down my friends, the LEGO post is back, this time in the form of a monster puke colored tower. The Legoland Windsor theme park in England recently broke the world record for tallest LEGO structure (which was 96.1 feet) with this motley mother. The scraper of skies stands inches short of 100 feet (add a couple more blocks you fools!) and took just under a billion individual LEGO blocks to complete. Did you fall for that? I was just wondering if you'd believe that if I said it. Because it didn't really take a billion blocks, just 500,000. It's pretty awesome and all, but how about removing those wire tethers? That makes it kind of questionable. I want to see it stand on its own. Which is why I just started construction of the world's tallest freestanding LEGO tower. I made it to five feet but ran out of blocks. So I tore a couple blocks off the top and created a mask. That's right folks -- I'm robbing Toys "R" Us, wish me luck.

UPDATE: A pimply teenage clerk hit me in the face with a broom handle and my mask broke. They recognized me as the guy who's always hanging out in the LEGO section. I tried to grab one of the new Indiana Jones sets and make a run for it, but some hag hit me with her shopping cart and threw my back out. Now I'm laying face down in a holding cell at the police station with a slipped disk or something. Some other guy keeps touching my ass and I keep telling him to stop. I can't even see what he looks like. I guess the real lesson here is this: next time I'm making my mask out of K'Nex.

A couple more pictures of the LEGO highness after the jump.

Continue Reading " Tallest LEGO Tower Is Pretty Tall, But Wired "

Apr 18 2008 Jet Car Driver: Must Be Handsome, Charming

Ed Shadle and Keith Zanghi are two nutjobs that want to break the 800 mph land speed record in the US. To achieve such a breakneck speed they've built the North American Eagle -- a jet car powered by a 1957 Lockheed F-104 Starfighter's 42,500 horsepower engine. The damn thing eats 160 gallons of fuel a minute and costs $16,000 in gas every run. Now I can think of better ways to spend my money, but whatever, I have no record-breaking dreams.

Now the couple is having trouble finding sponsors because no one is interested in two old codgers that built a rocket car, they want a handsome, charismatic daredevil. So now the team is looking for one. You must be between the ages of 20-40, and photogenic. Death wish preferred, but not required. If you want to give it a go send a 400-word email to landspeedracing@gmail.com explaining why you're the man for the job, and attach a photo. Now here's a great idea -- how about getting a woman to drive it? That'll certainly garner some publicity. Think about what Danica Patrick did for racing. I can honestly say I had never masturbated to an IndyCar event before she started. Now I'll even do it to a Nascar Truck Series race. What was my point here? Oh right, a woman. I love women.

Just to give you an idea of how touch with reality these two guys are, Shadle told the Times Online, "It's a lot of fun to drive, but if my age is stopping us getting sponsors, we have to remove that barrier. We'll put some hotshot in the driving seat who looks like Robert Redford and see how that works." Wow, Shadle, wow. The last time I checked (which was 30 seconds ago), Robert Redford was 71 and had a grandfatherly look about him. Not sure that's the look sponsors were going for. Unless, of course, you were referring to Redford in 1969's Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. In which case I loved his mustache in that movie. Wish I could grow one like that, I'd sell rides.

Driver wanted for jet car: must be young, fearless, good looking [dvice]

Feb 18 2008 Super Massive Music Collection On eBay

A dude is selling his massive music collection on eBay. How massive is massive? Try 3 million records and 300,000 CDs. That, my friends, is what is known as a shit-ton of music.

From Thomas Edison to American Idol, this is the complete history of the music that shaped and defined five generations. 3 million records and 300,000 CDs containing more than 6 million song titles. It's the undisputed largest collection of recorded music in the world. About half of the recordings are new and never played, and every genre of 20th century music is represented. There are countless rare recordings worth hundreds, or even thousands of dollars each on the collectibles market. Organized and cataloged, the collection is meticulously maintained and housed in a climate-controlled warehouse. The estimated value of this amazing collection is more than $50 million.

Every recording in the collection was purchased by the collection's owner over the past fifty years and represents a lifetime of work and his desire to see the music preserved for future generations. Advancing age and health concerns are forcing the owner to sell.

The history of 20th century music belongs in a museum (existing or new), or a music library. The collection's owner is seeking a private collector or a philanthropist willing to buy and donate the collection. A donation would qualify as a tax-deductible event. The collection contains many thousands of duplicate copies, which could be sold individually on the collectibles market to recoup a substantial part of the purchase price.

The bidding starts at $3 million but if you apply for an eBay Mastercard you get $10 back after the purchase.

A couple pictures and a link to the auction and website after the jump.

Continue Reading " Super Massive Music Collection On eBay "

Jan 8 2008 Guitar Hero Controller Mod: The Turntable

Aaron Skillman, who is both skilled and a man, made a custom turntable Guitar Hero controller. You scratch the record to strum, and hit the buttons with your other hand. Based on the video it looks pretty good. Almost as good as the Guitar Hero controller mod I made for my girlfriend, which is a vacuum cleaner. What I did was glue some colored LEGO blocks to the handle of the vacuum and tell her to push them while she's vacuuming. Then she went and broke the green one off when she was trying to vacuum a dust bunny from under the couch. I told her she broke the controller and I was going to have to seize her next paycheck to pay for a new one. Then I just glued another LEGO on that night.

Custom Guitar Hero Turntable Controller [boingboing]