Nov 19 2009 Modern Warfare 2 Crybaby's Music Video

NOTE: Video slightly NSFW due to adult language from a blimey 14-year old.

You ever wonder what else is going on in the world of a kid who will cry and punch the wall about a video game not living up to his expectations? Apparently a budding music career. And by budding I mean rotting. On the vine. You will never sell those tomatoes! Still, I did find myself kind of bobbing my head from 1:15 - 1:30 (the best part, plus I'm so high I feel like I'm typing with claws). But don't say his name -- he'll knock you out! Probably with rotten-tooth breath. BRING IT NANCY!

GuitarJono1170's Youtube Channel (with a ton of other crappy videos)

Thanks to Matt, who knifed this kid in Modern Warfare 2 and had him crying for days.

Nov 13 2009 Intergalactic Beats: Star Wars Gangster Rap

This is a Star Wars gangster rap and music video created by Bent TV. It was incredibly well made except the rappers didn't seem like real mf'ing g's. They looked like a bunch of pranksters and studio gangsters. YES I GOT THE RIGHT TO RAP ABOUT THAT. Check it this little ditty I just came up with:

Princess Leia, what a ho, I tossed her down the Sarlacc Hole

Them Ewoks furry, tauntauns warm, I shot up the Death Star
Then got drunk off top-shelf liquor and had sex with like 30 AT-AT's

I AM THE HARDEST! HARDER THAN THESE DIAMOND CHAINS!

ALL NEW! Star Wars Gangsta Rap: Chronicles [atom]

Thanks to Jack, Angelina, Ringo and Mark, who are all hardcore mediumcore. Not bad!

Oct 18 2009 Okay: Man Raps Eminem Songs In Klingon

This is a video of German rapper Klenginem covering Eminem's 'Without Me' in the Klingon language. Apparently this guy actually dresses up and plays gigs doing this. And, honestly, I'm not surprised, Germans are weird as shit. Videos. Case closed!

Klenginem: Eminem Meets Klingon [poppedculture]

Thanks to Matthew, Chrissy and dan, who, from the quality of their emails, don't even know one language. Kidding (but not really)!

Sep 15 2009 'Today Was A Good Day': The Flow Chart

If there's two things I learned to love in college it's flow charts and communal showering. And this is by far one of the awesomest flow charts I've ever seen. It's right up there with the What Should I Eat? chart. Click HERE to see the flow chart in its entirety, which outlines all of Ice Cube's iconic 'Today Was A Good Day'. Now I know what you're thinking: how the hell can you even think about starting a good day with a hogless breakfast? Because one time I only had dry white toast and a poached egg and then got hit by the school bus. Coincidence?

Hit the jump to watch the music video and follow along with the chart.

Continue Reading " 'Today Was A Good Day': The Flow Chart "

May 24 2009 NES Rap: 99 Lives And A Power Glove

This is a rap about playing oldschool NES games called The Konami Code (99 Lives And A Power Glove). It was made by the same folks that brought us Robot Party song and is pretty fresh. Not as fresh as my breakfast mind you, but that's because I just bought chickens. *squeezing chicken* EGGS, DAMN YOU, EGGGGGGGS! *chicken explodes* Okay, that might have been a rooster.

Youtube

Thanks to Erin, who has allegedly beat Contra with a single life and is a monster liar.

May 4 2009 These Beats Are Fresh!: Slap Chop Remix

This is music-video remix of Vince "bitch, that's my tongue" Shlomi's famous Slap Chop commercial. It drove me crazy and I was this close to jamming a butter knife into a wall outlet. But, I must admit, whoever made it did do a good editing job. So, whoever you are, my hat's off to you. But my pants -- well, I'm saving those for you, ma'am.*

*Meet me in the back of the bus.

Youtube
via
Slap Chop Remix Breathes New Life Into Worthless Gadget, Vince's Career? [gizmodo]

Thanks to Julian and Noah, who once slap chopped a bunch of ninjas in the face and made them cry throwing stars. True story.

Mar 30 2009 World's Coolest Flight Attendant Goes To....

This guy apparently, because he raps all the flight information to the passengers. Personally, I think the title is debatable. I mean, for one: he's not me. And for two: I heard NWA does it better. *SWISH*

Youtube

Thanks to Curtis and Jcon, who tried to start a rapping taxi-cab company but failed because they kept running over bums while they were trying to bust the fresh beats.

Mar 17 2009 These Beats Are Sooo Fresh: The Ocarinas Of Rhyme, TWO Different Zelda Rap Albums

That's right folks: not one but TWO different rap albums set to the beats of Zelda games dropping on the same day -- with the same name! What are the odds? Pretty good considering one of the guys (Sleaze) thinks his idea was stolen. Anyway, first there is Team Teamwork Presents The Ocarina of Time, which features the music of Hyrule and Zelda games set to raps by famous artists. But then there's Sleaze's (who may or may not be this guy) Ocarina of Rhyme with all original raps by himself. So, who will slay Gannon? Who will win Hyrule? And who will bang Zelda while the other plays with himself in the Lost Woods while that creepy kid with the mask watches? You decide.

Hit the jump for audio samples of each, and the links to download (for free).

Continue Reading " These Beats Are Sooo Fresh: The Ocarinas Of Rhyme, TWO Different Zelda Rap Albums "

Mar 16 2009 The Sci-Fi Channel Is Changing Its Name

To SyFy. Why? Well, I don't know why. But like Nas says in 'The Message', "a thug changes, and love changes, and best friends become strangers. Word up." Word up indeed, Nas, thanks for that.

By changing the name to Syfy, which remains phonetically identical, the new brand broadens perceptions and embraces a wider range of current and future imagination-based entertainment beyond just the traditional sci-fi genre, including fantasy, supernatural, paranormal, reality, mystery, action and adventure. It also positions the brand for future growth by creating an ownable trademark that can travel easily with consumers across new media and nonlinear digital platforms, new international channels and extend into new business ventures.

"Imagine Greater" will become the new brand message and tagline, inviting both consumers and advertisers into a new era of unlimited imagination, exceptional experiences and greater entertainment.

I didn't actually bother reading any of that, but I think it said something about becoming a much more generic cable station and not playing reruns of Star Trek: TNG anymore. Smart move. And speaking of which, rook to D2. Checkmate, bitches!

http://scifiwire.com/2009/03/sci-fi-channel-to-become.php [scifiwire]

Thanks to big jerm and Mike, who were going to change their names but realized they'd have to get new vanity license plates and decided against it.

Feb 23 2009 Beats From The Dark Side: AT-AT Boombox

I have no more information on this thing except it looks like a functional boombox in the form factor of an AT-AT. Really makes me want to throw down a piece of cardboard and break. That's breakdance for those of you not in the know. Uh, wicka-pow! You see that move? That was fresh, was it not? So fresh. And these beats -- it's like they were harvested from the beat-bush this morning. Quick, somebody drop one for me!

My name is Geekologie and I am full of knowledge-y

I drop the learnin' like a hookers box the burnin'
Actually, I'm feeling a little burny myself right now
Hold that beat while I find my ointment.

I know, I am the freshest. Seriously, check my expiration date. Haha, that's right -- I don't have one! I scratched it out with a car key because I expired a week ago. I'm getting rancid. Quick, drink me anyways! You puked didn't you? Haha, told you I was rancid. Now one more sip. DO IT!

Hit the jump for a bunch of closeups of the awesomeness.

Continue Reading " Beats From The Dark Side: AT-AT Boombox "

Dec 14 2008 Rap Album Covers Get Minifig'd

Let's face it, rap and LEGO go together like heavy metal and Lincoln Logs: they were freaking made for each other. So it comes as no surprise that somebody went and remade a bunch of album covers with LEGO minifigs. Am I right? Am I wrong? Am I drunk on a Sunday night? The answer to these questions and more after I puke in the hallway!

UPDATE: Probably not, probably, yes, reddish-orange, eleven.

Hit the jump for several more of my favorites, and a link to the gallery with even more.

Continue Reading " Rap Album Covers Get Minifig'd "

Dec 11 2008 NSFW: What Did I Just Watch?

This is a NSFW (language) mashup video featuring awesomeness. I swear, I love myself a good mashup. Also, the girl with the pink wig in the video. *wikipedia-ing* Scratch that, 17.

Most Improbable Lil Jon Mashup Ever [collegehumor]

Thanks to chefferson and Matt, who actually watch this show on Saturday mornings.

Oct 31 2008 Kid Arrested For Convincing (Senile) Grandma To Perform In His Ganster Rap Video

The elderly: they're wrinkly. AND highly desirable to perform in homemade gangster rap videos. Who would have known? Not me. But apparently Michael Alfinez, 18, from Lake Worth, Florida, was in on the secret. The youth is serving 18 months in jail for abusing the elderly and firearms charges.

The footage showed Marie Huertas, 85, wearing a full black balaclava and, after repeated instructions, uttering a number of gangsta rap phrases that included expletives.

A sheriff's report said Alfinez had admitted dressing up his grandmother and persuading her to flash a gun and money at the camera.

Alfinez said he got the idea from a Gangstas & Thugs DVD - which show real footage rather younger hoodlums in action - and "knew (his) grandmother could be like that, too, or better".

Wow, that's one cool grandma. Mine just bakes pies and smells funny. Ha, did I mention the cats? There are cats.

US teenager jailed for 'grandmother gangster rap video' [telegraph]

Thanks to ray, whose grandmother can bust a cap better than you can.

Oct 21 2008 Literal Translation Of A Freestyle Rap Battle

Well we've seen a couple literally translated music videos in recent history, and now comes a rap battle, carefully translated by a well-spoken honkey. I love the part about having sexual relations with the other guy's biological mother (around 2:00) -- rappers really do that shit, it's true. And then, at the end of the video, they actually start fighting because the one dude is all up on his tippytoes trying to kiss the other one. I didn't get that part.

Hit the jump to see the very NSFW (due to language) original video.

Continue Reading " Literal Translation Of A Freestyle Rap Battle "

Apr 10 2008 Star Wars Fett's Vette Music Video Is Okay

Another Star Wars rap song with music video. I'd heard the song before (by mc chris), but never seen a video (which is made from clips of the movies appropriate for the current lyrics). It helps. But I still can't get past the sound of his voice sometimes and why he's rapping about Fett's Vette. I don't remember any Corvettes in the movies. Is that even what he's talking about? I will admit though, the Vette gets 'em wet is a car for balding middle aged men with subpar dongery money.*

*To any Vette owners out there, I'm just jealous. Not only am I balding and seriously not packing any heat down there, but the transmission dropped out of my Metro and now I'm stuck walking everywhere.

Youtube

Thanks to Nicole, who moonlights as a bounty hunter herself, for the tip

Apr 7 2008 NSFW: Star Wars Rap Song With Movie Clips

This is a rap song made with Star Wars clips. It's NSFW. No nudity or anything, but lots of bad words and heavy sexual innuendo. It made me feel dirty. Which, for a guy who doesn't shower and eats off the floor, is really saying something. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Another tamer Star Wars rap video, along with my favorite Star Wars song (IAM's L'empire Du Cote Obscur) after the jump. Link to the lyrics too, since it's in French.

Continue Reading " NSFW: Star Wars Rap Song With Movie Clips "