Aug 28 2009 Perfect With A Lead Vest: The X-Ray Umbrella
The x-ray umbrella is an umbrella with x-rays all over the damn place. It does NOT allow you to see through a woman's shirt. Unless she's wearing white and it's pouring out, in which case, yes, it does do that. And I've got to tell you: as a guy who's broken his arm twice in the same place and now has a plate and a bunch of screws in there (I am NOT a robot, just a man with an advanced biomechanical arm), I'm no stranger to x-rays. Or those gamma joints. You hear that, Hulk? I will arm wrestle the shit out of you!
Jul 6 2009 Gruesome: Billboards Bleed When It Rains
An ad agency in New Zealand made a series of billboards that remind drivers to slow down and "drive to the conditions" during the rainy season. The billboards, which feature a young person's face, start bleeding whenever it rains.
"The advertising agency that came up with the sign says the goal was to reduce the road toll by creating maximum awareness through unease."
Unease is right, I can barely look at my monitor, let alone the road. HOLY SHIT I'M DRIVING.
Bleeding Billboard [buzzfeed]
Thanks to towhee, who just pulls over and makes out whenever it rains. Oooh la la.
Mar 9 2009 Cloud Umbrella Looked Better As Rendering
The Cloud Umbrella is an umbrella that you blow up when it starts to rain using it's pump-handle. Then it looks like a cloud and all the passers-by get a laugh at the cleverness that is your umbrella. Just kidding. They wonder why you're carrying around bunch of white beach balls on the end of a stick. Also, seven years bad luck if you open it indoors. Speaking of which -- you know why you've had it so hard lately? Yeah, you remember that mirror I broke? Well, I told God you did it.
Cloud Umbrella keeps your head in the sky while you stay dry [dvice]
Jan 28 2009 Light Saber Umbrellas: Battle Sith Lords, Women And Wetness At The Same Time
These $40 Light Saber Umbrellas are the first to combine the coolness of staying dry when it's raining with the incredible sadness of wielding a nonfunctional lightsaber out in public. That said, I take mine everywhere. Wow, is it just me or is it raining lady-killer in here?*
*It's just me. Come get some, beautiful.
Hit the jump for several more pictures of the awesome. Also, when rain hits a lightsaber does it crackle and pop like a bug-zapper? That's what I imagine.
UPDATE: Bladerunner Umbrellas, not Star Wars. What, can you blame a guy for drinking?
Continue Reading " Light Saber Umbrellas: Battle Sith Lords, Women And Wetness At The Same Time "
Sep 30 2008 Umbrella Lets Rain Know Where To Stick It
This F*** The Rain Umbrella is made by Art Lebedev and lets mother nature know where to stick it. It's a real product and will set you back about $55. Although, personally, I like the rain. Like that Garbage song goes, "I'm only happy when it rains, I'm only happy when it's complicated." Okay, that last part was a lie. I hate complicated shit. Like math. Oh, an tyoping without l ookkning.
Hit the jump for an uncensored picture and what it looks like from the rain's point of view.
Continue Reading " Umbrella Lets Rain Know Where To Stick It "
Aug 13 2008 Wicked Fountain Makes Things Out Of Water!
This is an awesome fountain that can make words and dolphins and rings and lightning bolts and all kinds of other awesome designs using water. It's really freaking neat and you should watch it all. The only thing that could have made it better is if, instead of regular water, they used the water left over from boiling hotdogs. Mmmm, hotdog water.
Thanks to Gregg, who can actually do this pissing.
Apr 7 2008 UFOCap Keeps You Dry, Abstinent
The UFOCap is a hands-free umbrella that makes you look like a giant condom. The thing looks so ridiculous that the majority of people in the advertisement refused to wear them. Currently only available in Korea, they probably won't make it much further. I still want one though. No, I take that back, I'm saving myself for a Nubrella. And for marriage. Otherwise Santa might fill my stocking with reindeer shit and I'll be forced to kidnap the fat bastard.
UFO Cap Makes You Look Like Spin Top, Repels Rain and Women [gizmodo]
Thanks to Andrew, who attracts women like it's his job (which it may be, I think he's a gigolo), for the tip
Feb 21 2008 It's About Freaking Time: The Nubrella
The Nubrella is a $60 hands-free umbrella. If you can't tell from the pictures it's fairly ridiculous looking. Now I've never been one to really care what I look like, particularly out in the elements, but I still don't think I could bring myself to don a Nubrella.
Nubrella is no ordinary umbrella, it stops rain, wind, snow and extreme cold- and keeps your head, face and shoulders drier than ever. It offers more protection, guaranteed! Yet, nubrella went one step further and is changing the game forever. With nubrella's new patent pending "shoulder straps" and "offset handle" you can now be completely hands free!
Wow, "changing the game forever", that's a pretty bold statement. Now exactly what game are we talking about here? I need to know so I'm never caught accidentally playing. Nubrella - I'd rather be soaked.
A couple more ridiculous pictures after the jump.
Feb 4 2008 The Rolling Bench Keeps Your Pants Dry
A lot of people don't like getting their butt wet by sitting on a wet bench. For these people I give a piece of advice: stand. But for those who absolutely must rest their legs there's the Rolling Bench. It's a wooden slat bench that can be turned via crank to expose the dry underside. You can use it to crank bums and/or old ladies off the bench as well. While a novel concept, I imagine they'd be expensive. And it's not like a wet bench is that big a deal in the first place. Just do what I do and sit on a stranger's lap. If it makes them uncomfortable you know you've found a good spot. It's when they invite you to sit on their lap that you have to be careful.
Wet Benches Suck [electroplankton]
Thanks to Nils, whose IQ rivals that of Einstein, for the tip
