Sep 10 2009 Are We Having Fun Yet?: New iPod Nano Shoots Video, Voice Records, FM Radios
Apple just released an updated iPod Nano which features a bigger screen, 640 x 480 video recording, voice recording, and FM radio capabilities. As usual, they come in all sorts of fun colors so you can match your media player to your eyes (Chinese girls do not come with green eyes -- anybody?!). 8 giggers cost $150 and 16 bangers $180. Is it worth an extra $30 to double your storage? You be the judge. I'll play the bailiff! Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth? Good, now where were you last night around 10PM? Because I was peeking in your bedroom window but you weren't theeeeere!
Thanks to Kamaren, smith and Todd, who still carry record players BECAUSE THEY'RE OLDSCHOOL LIKE THAT. I swear, you guys are so fresh.
Aug 17 2009 What Took So Long?: A LEGO Clock Radio
I've been thinking for years how badly the world needs a $30 LEGO clock radio, so why it took so long to finally make one is beyond me. Also, quantum physics, I don't those either.
The LEGO Clock Radio is ten times the size of an original LEGO brick with knobs that work as volume and tuner controls. With an AM/FM radio and snooze feature, you'll start the day off right every morning!
* AM-FM Clock Radio with battery back-up
* 10 times the size of an actual LEGO block
* LCD display with color matched backlight
* 120V AC power adapter
* Requires 4 AA batteries
Wow, not even a CD player. But it does have small parts!
WARNING: CHOKING HAZARD - Small parts. Not for children under 3 yrs.
Listen, if my child decides to rip off those buttons and eat them, that's his prerogative. Isn't that right, GW Jr.? Awww, you look so cute holding that knife.
Thanks to naas, who wakes up the old fashioned way: to gunfire.
Aug 6 2009 Two 14-Foot Laptops + Terrible Hosts = This
In an attempt to sell me parts to make a bomb, Radio Shack is hosting 'The Shack Summer Netogether' for the next couple days. What the hell's a netogether? Imagine two 14-foot laptops, one in San Francisco and one in New York. Now imagine two idiot moron hosts with distorted mics talking to each other about the most asinine bullshit. "What do you know about Miami?" "I know they have a basketball team". I'm not even kidding, I almost impaled myself on my laptop. But I didn't because I love you. No, not you, you. Mmmm, those massive jaws and little arms. "RAWR!" OMG -- you know what that does to me!
I'm warning you, it's painful to watch
Thanks to Stephen, who saved himself the trouble and punched himself in the eyes and ears for two hours.
Jun 10 2009 Iceberg, Dead Ahead!: Your Own R/C Titanic
Want a 1:150 (~6-foot) R/C scale model of the Titanic? These monster water gobbling whores allegedly have over 300 handmade parts and take over 400 man-hours to complete. You can buy them too, provided you've got a cool $2,500 lying around. Which, if you do, WHAT'S THAT OVER THERE? *sockful of pennies you in the face* Haha, the boat is mine! TOOT TOOOOT! [Insert joke about going down on my ship]
Product Page
via
Remote-controlled scale model of the Titanic is asking for trouble [dvice]
Jan 13 2009 Over And Out: LEGO Making Digital Cameras, Walk Talkies For Children, Adults Like Me
Modular plastic god LEGO has "teamed with Digital Blue to bring out a line of digital cameras, PMPs (portable media players), and walkie talkies for children". Dropping sometime this summer, the devices will run $19 - $60 and not be made of actual LEGO blocks. They'll look like it though. And looking, my friends, is half the battle. Touching is the other, trickier half.
Lego announces line of digital cameras, PMPs, etc. for your teeny human friends [engadget]
Thanks to Julian, who once convinced a model to let him take nude pictures of her with an alleged LEGO camera. It was just a castle set.
Dec 15 2008 DIY: R/C Helicopter With .45 Handgun
We've already seen a R/C helicopter with an automatic shotgun attached, but, as the Constitution explicitly states, radio controlled vehicles with firearms attached are everyone's God-given right. Enter the .45 handgun-copter, just in time for the holidays. Which, incidentally, coincide with, uh, squirrel hunting season? And speaking of which, do squirrels shit? And if so, what does it look like? There's a ton of those little arboreal bastards around, but I never see any droppings.
Youtube
Thanks to jason, who once ROFLMAOBBQcoptered the Swedish Bikini Team.
Nov 3 2008 Who Am I And Where The Hell Are My Pants?: Scientists Study Possibility Of 'Amnesia Beam'
Being able to selectively delete memories, this sounds promising.
A team of scientists from the United States and China announced last week that, for the first time, they had found a means of selectively and safely erasing memories in mice, using the signaling molecule αCaMKII. It's a big step forward, and one that will be of considerable interest to the military, which has devoted efforts to memory manipulation as a means of treating post-traumatic stress disorder. But some military research has moved in another direction entirely.
Wow, really? Who would have thought -- another direction entirely. Brainwashing anybody? I didn't really bother reading the rest of the article because I've been picking through my Halloween candy, but it said something about flashing lights and microwave exposure to the brain. Which can only mean one thing: how can I get the microwave to run with the door still open?
Military Investigates Amnesia Beams [wired]
Thanks to....uh, damnit, it was just on the tip of my tongue. Thanks to....shit, hold on. Thanks to Allegro, who could out-memory two elephants easily.
Sep 5 2008 Turn Your Scooter Into A Mobile Hotspot
Is your scooter just not geeky enough for you? How about turning that bad boy into a mobile hotspot?
This how-to shows building instructions for putting together a scooter that doubles as a roving wireless hotspot, GPS device, pirate radio station, and even has enough juice to amplify an electric guitar in order to play songs over the web.
Awesome! The only thing you have to watch out for, based on the look of that monster antennae, is spinal cancer. Trust me on this one, I don't break into the hospital and steal patients' meals because I'm not a doctor. I do it because I'm hungry and my wife couldn't cook to save the last living dinosaur.
Wireless scooter lets you wardrive from the fast lane [make]
via
Build yourself a scooter that doubles as a roving hotspot [dvice]
Aug 6 2008 Radiohead's House Of Cards In LEGO Form!
Remember Radiohead's House of Cards video that was shot with lasers instead of cameras and then all the data was made available to everyone to do whatever they wanted to with it? Well Ian Mackinnon took that data and rendered the video in 3D using LEGOs. Wicked! I embedded the video in high-quality because the low-quality one was looking kind of blurry, but it's still not super. But hey, we work with what we're given, don't we? You wouldn't ask someone you allegedly love to use a pump, would you? No, because you respect what they were given. Even if they are 26 cards short of a deck. HIYO -- card tie-in!
Radiohead's House of Cards Video Rendered In 3D Using Legos [gizmodo]
Jul 23 2008 RC Fishing Boat Does The Work For You
Ha, did my boss just catch me playing Solomon's Key on FireNes (note: version 1.1 is out so it may work now for those of you that were having problems) when I was supposed to be making a spreadsheet? Yes, yes he did. Anyway, some Japanese company is selling an RC fishing boat called KAMOME. It does all the work for you, so it's not even like you're fishing anymore, it's like you're driving an RC fishing boat. The 24 pound boat comes with a sonar system for spotting fish, GPS capabilities, and can catch fish up to about 4.5 pounds. The radio controller has a 5" LCD that displays the sonar and other ship data and has a range of about 1/3 of a mile. Unfortunately the damn thing costs over $5,000. So now instead of boring your friends with the story about "the one that got away", you can tell them the one about the Geekologie Writer sinking your $5,000 RC fishing boat.
JAPAN: Radio Controlled Fishing Boat [hobbymedia]
Thanks Francesco, now lets torpedo that sucker, just for the halibut.
May 15 2008 Alien "Email" Could Arrive As Early As 2015, The Pope Is Totally Cool With That, You Know, As Long As It Doesn't Really Happen
Hisashi Hirabayashi and a colleague used a radio telescope in 1983 to send a message to Altair, a star approximately 16 light-years away.
The message, which is believed to have reached Altair in 1999, consisted of 13 binary-encoded images (71 x 71 pixels each) that showed, among other things, the characteristics of our solar system, the location of our planet, the known chemical elements, whole numbers, human characteristics, and the basic structure of DNA. Their message also attempted to explain biological evolution with a depiction of mammals evolving from primeval life forms (see the image above of the fish crawling onto land).
That one picture looks like a midget kicking a naked woman in the shins, but whatever. Now provided the aliens (if there are any) were intelligent enough to receive and decode the message, they could have a message back to us as early as 2015. Hot damn, I can hardly wait!
Strangely, one of the pictures sent to Altair includes the molecular formula for ethanol along with the kanji characters for kanpai (the Japanese toast of "cheers!") and the English word "TOAST." "I came up with that idea while drinking," Hirabayashi playfully admits. "The aliens probably won't understand that part."
Oh, they'll understand Hirabayashi, they'll understand. Alcohol is the universal language that that makes communication with the opposite sex possible. The googly-eyed bastards will definitely get that. What I'm worried about is them understanding the rest of it.
And in a related story the Vatican has announced that it is perfectly Christian to believe in aliens, despite their not being in the Bible.
The Bible "is not a science book," Rev. Jose Gabriel Funes (Jesuit director of the Vatican Observatory) said, adding that he believes the Big Bang theory is the most "reasonable" explanation for the creation of the universe. The theory says the universe began billions of years ago in the explosion of a single, super-dense point that contained all matter.
And when asked why aliens didn't make an appearance in the Bible, Funes noted, "It's not a damn sci-fi novel."
Alien e-mail reply to arrive in 2015? [pinktentacle]
and
Vatican: It's OK to believe in aliens [yahoonews]
Thanks to Melissa, who may be the only person who really knows what's out there
Apr 10 2008 Paintball Turret Will Keep Kids Off Your Lawn
The EMT Wireless Paintball Sentry Turret is just what I need to keep those damn neighborhood kids off my lawn and out of my flowerbeds.
The $1959 setup includes the paintball turret, a substantial tripod base, CO2 tanks, a color CCD camera with video transmitter and a wireless remote with a nice little 3.5-inch monitor (or a 7.5-inch upgrade pictured above) so you can aim at your unsuspecting victims. The controller's joysticks pan and tilt the turret, and can fire up to 400 paintballs with the push of a button. The whole rig runs on rechargeable batteries and CO2, so you can use it anywhere (although there is a slight up-charge for weatherproofing).
You can even upgrade to a high-res camera, big-screen goggles, and a larger ball hopper. Holy hellfire do I need one of these. Just think of all the fun you could have with those religious zealots that come by trying to pass off their literature. Just kidding, I wouldn't shoot them. I like to see the expressions on their faces when I answer the door pantless with a beer in one hand and my girlfriend's ass in the other. "Ooh, sorry, looks like we caught you at a bad time, we'll just leave this pamphlet here by the door." "Hey honey, show them that trick you do to pick up the dollars when you're stripping."
remote-controlled paintball turret is ready for action [technabob]
Mar 17 2008 Radio's Volume/Station Controlled By Rocks
The Natural Radio is controlled by rocks and operates using a scale. The more rocks you put on the volume scale the louder it gets. Same goes for frequency. Now I'm not very coordinated, so I couldn't imagine getting more than two or three stones balanced. What if I want to listen to 105.7? That seems like a lot of rocks. Maybe sand would work though. I'm much better with sand. You should have seen the wicked castle I built on the beach during my last vacation, it was awesome. Well, until that dick Poseidon destroyed it with a big wave. He still hasn’t forgiven me for that lusty night I spent with his sea-goddess Amphitrite. That's right folks, Aquaman is my son.
Several more pictures of the device after the dive.
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