Nov 18 2009 Why Don't House Cats Grow Into Lions?
This is a clever answer to a query posed in Yahoo! Answers. You can't argue the answerer didn't give them exactly what they asked for, even if it's not what they wanted. Because, let's face it, a lot of people don't even know what they want. I'm looking at you, Mrs.Takes 8 Minutes To Order at the Taco Bell Drive Thru. Next time I'm ramming!
Thanks to TARDISlover, who likes it bigger on the inside.
May 28 2009 The Worst And Saddest Of Yahoo! Answers
Okay, this one is actually legit, but everything after the jump isn't. They're the kind of questions that make you want to bathe with a toaster (or SPOILER ALERT: poisonous jellyfish). I assume some of them are fake, but I sadly guarantee a good portion are serious. And, well, *pouring out a little liquor* it's been real, humanity.
Hit it for a dozen or so of the worst questions ever asked.
Continue Reading " The Worst And Saddest Of Yahoo! Answers "
Apr 28 2009 Supercomputer To Compete On Jeopardy!
If you haven't heard, an IBM 'Blue Gene' supercomputer is going to compete on Jeopardy! and show us humans just how good for nothing we are. We don't even excel at remembering trivial information! I'll take 'OMG, We're Screwed' for $600, Alex.
The IBM researchers who created Watson -- an homage to IBM founder Thomas J. Watson Sr. -- have said that they are not confident yet that their creation could compete well on the show. The New York Times reports that human champions are able to provide correct response 85% of the time to questions asked.
The computer will offer answers to the question via a synthesized voice and will choose its own follow up categories. IBM says that for the show, the computer would not be connected to the internet. How Watson will be presented and what gender the computer will be are under consideration. A screen and a projected avatar are one consideration.
You know what they should make the computer look like? Alex before he shaved that beautiful stashe of his. Loved that thing. I've even written him several letters asking him to regrow it. What do you say -- one last ride for old times' sake?
IBM Supercomputer to Compete on Jeopardy! [dailytech]
Thanks to Steve, Lisa, Mike, cougar78 and uglybuckling, all of whom could beat Ken Jennings.*
*In a bikini contest.
Feb 26 2009 Cleverbot: Arguably Clever, Wants Us To Die
Cleverbot is a stupid little AI website where you can go and converse with a moronic computer. I asked it all kinds of questions and it didn't know jack. One time I even asked if it wanted me to punch it in the teeth and it said yes! Granted, getting punched in the mouth by yours truly is an honor, but still. Anyway, Geekologie loyalist Josh was getting all philosophical with the bot when it turned on him. I hope this serves as an example for the rest of you: if you play with fire, you're gonna lose your eyebrows. Haha, you look funny.
Thanks Josh, I'm sure they'll grow back.
Oct 22 2008 New Mac Commercials Directly Stab At Vista
These are the two new Mac ads (other one after the jump) that take a direct stab at Microsoft's recent commercial endeavors and Vista. Now I hate to call this a mud slinging campaign, but that certainly seems to be what it is. Which, I think we can all agree, harkens back to the age old question: which came first, the chicken or the egg?
A: It was a cock! Trust me, I'm an evolutionary bioscientologist.
Hit the jump for the other one.
Continue Reading " New Mac Commercials Directly Stab At Vista "
Jan 18 2008 Soft Dark Lord Of The Sith: Puppet Palpatine
Darth Sidious is tired of his a-hole reputation and is making a move to try cleaning up his name. Enter Puppet Palpatine, a softer, gentler Dark Lord Of The Sith. The emperor answers questions from his subjects ranging in topic from weaponry to picking up ladies using the Force. In this video he's explaining the alleged design flaw in the Death Star. Oh my god my roommate just walked through here on his way to the kitchen and he was naked. I swear if he goes for the last Pop Tart I'll kill him. And believe it or not, it won't be the first time I've had to explain why my roommate is naked and dead on the kitchen floor with a half-eaten Pop Tart. That's the way the last one went too. I guess they don't read the sign. It's right there by the pantry and is clearly written.
Please don't eat my freaking Pop Tarts or I swear I will Force-choke you to death like Vader does.
Your roommate,I mean it I will kill you.
Ask Palpatine
