Sep 8 2009 Argentinian Geeks Prank Local News Station Monkey Island Style

A group of Argentinian geeks apparently made a Facebook page about how to make grog (kerosene, artificial sweeteners, sulfuric acid, rum with acetone, red dye # 2, axle grease and battery acid), the delicious concoction from Monkey Island, and tipped off a local news channel to the dangers the nation's youth are subjecting themselves. I especially love how they included the XD emoticon as part of the drink name. Nice touch. This just goes to show, you can't believe everything you hear in the news. Unless you read it here, in which case it's like the word of God. But with a deeper, more commanding voice.

Youtube

Thanks to Drenix, Totex, and whoever else sent this whose email I can't find, the next round's on me. BUT NOT LITERALLY. You spill on my shirt and I will punch you in your face.

Aug 12 2009 "We Don't Date N00bs, We PWN Them!"

This is a video about the problems associated with dating a World of Warcraft n00b when you come from a L337 family. Namely, that your parents won't approve of the relationship. Sadly, watching this video reminded me of the time when I started dating one of those RealDolls a supermodel. I miss you, Silicon Sally hot supermodel with a real name, we just came from two different worlds.

College Humor

Thanks to jessica, Robert and jack, who PWN both n00bs and non00bs with equal dexterity.

Apr 8 2008 Shirtless Bandit Steals Netflix Discs, Is Caught Red (Mailer) Handed By Hidden Spy Camera

This is the Shirtless Bandit. He likes chips and watching Netflix rentals -- but not his own. He just steals them from his neighbors.

After having to file multiple Netflix movies as "lost in the mail" I began to get suspicious that there was more than just a careless mailman at fault. So what better to do than point a video camera at the mailbox and try to catch a Netflix thief.
Since both my roommate and myself worked second shift jobs, we would be physically unable catch the culprit in action. And although suspicion was strong that it was the white-trash tenants in the first floor of our duplex, suspicion alone would not be enough. We needed something tangible, something we could take to the police if we felt the need. We needed him caught on camera.

Needless to say they did, and he got busted. But not before they drove his head into the mailbox a few times. Just kidding. I would have though. Shit, you steal my Netflix DVDs and I'll pack the mailbox with explosives.

UPDATE: I called a friend at the post office to check the legality of packing a mailbox with TNT, and surprisingly, it's frowned upon. That's okay though, I come prepared. Plan B: Make a mailbox costume, stand by road with a tire iron.

Two more pictures and the VIDEO of Captain Dipshit of the USS Shirts Are For Pussies, along with a link to the whole story, after the jump

Continue Reading " Shirtless Bandit Steals Netflix Discs, Is Caught Red (Mailer) Handed By Hidden Spy Camera "

Oct 4 2007 Apple Fan Pwns Microsoft Sign

An Apple fan was caught showing Bill and the rest of Microsoft what he/she thinks of the company. I use he/she because I've spent the better part of fifteen minutes trying to figure out what sex that person is, and I still can't tell. Let's run through the photographic evidence. Long hair: Many dorky men in the computer industry have pony tails, so this is inconclusive. Tucked in t-shirt: Just as popular with both male and female virgins, so again, inconclusive. Possible earring: Looks like it may be a hoop, so leaning female, or very gay male. Lastly, Peeing like a dude, but no visible urine on sign: Likely indicates a female, or a male with penis so small the guy is lost in his own pubic hair and peeing into his hand. Conclusion: Dork. Likely virgin. Little or no penis.

UPDATE: I'm not making fun of Apple or Apple users, just the boob in the picture.

Microsoft Sign Gets Upgraded [techeblog]

Aug 30 2007 Dork's Car Gets PWNED

First of all there should never be an Oldsmobile with a license plate "PWNAGE" unless you are referring to how much your life sucks and how it seems that God constantly pwns the hell out of your ass for being such a failure. Example: I live a life of constant pwnage -- I found out my girlfriend is humping my roommate, my dog got hit by a dumptruck, and now the world floods and destroys my one joy in life, the Oldsmobile my late grandmother left me. Then it might make sense. Because I think we can all agree the only thing this guy has ever PWNED is his own dangle.

Dork's Car Gets PWNED [therawfeed]

Jul 19 2007 Aftermath of exploding CD

This guy was playing Reader Rabbit: Thinking Adventures with his son when his CD exploded in the optical drive.

We both sat there for a second trying to figure out what had happened and that is when I saw the front trim piece of the DVD drive hanging from the computer. The piece that hit me in the leg was one of the plastic clips that holds the trim piece in place and as soon as I saw what had hit me, I knew the CD was toast. After unplugging the machine and a little disassembly, I had the drive out and removed most of the pieces from the explosion.

You can check out all of the pictures here. I didn't even know this was possible. Although to be fair I don't know a lot of things. Did you know the Earth revolves around the Sun? I know. Shocking.

Jul 11 2007 Perl Scripting With Microsoft Vista Speech Recognition

Windows Vista's Speech Recognition is almost too good. I'm not even sure why we still have keyboards.

NOTE: I can't tell if this is real. I know Vista's Speech Recognition isn't super amazing, but this is ridiculous. Ridiculously funny that is.

Jul 10 2007 Runaway Wrecking Ball

A 1,500 pound wrecking ball broke loose and ran out of control down a hill for nearly a mile before plowing into things and ending up in the trunk of a student's car.

“The cable just snapped,” Meadville police officer Brian Joseph said. “It just so happened that it snapped at a point and time when the ball was outside the wall.”

The out of control ball hit parked cars and even bounced off the curb, before it rolled into the trunk of a student's car, ramming it into cars in front of it.

Could've been a lot worse. The wrecking ball could've been, say, a locomotive! I don't even know what I'm saying anymore.

Source

Jun 20 2007 Greatest USB Drive Ever

Thanks to this commenter for sharing the greatest USB drive ever created. I'm not saying you shouldn't buy electronics off the streets of China, but don't be surprised if your new computer turns out to be a stack of bricks glued to a lamp.

Jun 12 2007 Guy Gets Zune Tattoo

I was wondering if there was anybody dumb enough in the world to actually get a Microsoft Zune tattoo, and apparently there is. Thanks, Internet. For the porn too.

Source

Jun 6 2007 Spelling Bee Champion

And this, my friends, is why you don't home school your children.

May 24 2007 Battle At Kruger

This video was taken while on safari and shows a battle between a pride of lions, a herd of buffalo, and two crocodiles at a watering hole in South Africa's Kruger National Park. Throw in Voltron and you've got yourselves a war.

Video after the jump.

Continue Reading " Battle At Kruger "

May 22 2007 Why you shouldn't follow directions too closely

Think that's bad? My house was built three feet tall, the exact size of the blueprints. I probably should've gotten my money back instead of deciding to move in.

Source

May 16 2007 Breakdancing battle

There's nothing I can say that wouldn't ruin it, so just watch until the end.

May 15 2007 Terrible tattoo

If you're going to get a tattoo of somebody's face on your arm, it usually helps if you go to a guy who actually knows what the heck they're doing. I believe this guy skipped the tattoo parlor and had this done at Pizza Hut.

Source

May 14 2007 How not to ship a plasma TV

The guy who shipped this may or may not have been a professional delivery person. It's tough to tell based on the work he did on this plasma TV. Seriously though, he might as well have shipped this thing using bowling balls. Or, I dunno, hammers.

Check out the aftermath of the TV after the jump.

Continue Reading " How not to ship a plasma TV "

Apr 25 2007 Funny Plane Crash

I don't know about you, but I think I'm going to learn how to fly there. They really seem like they know what they're doing.

Mar 7 2007 How not to exit a parking garage

This really smart guy tried to open the gate to his parking garage while his car was still in drive. Which is every bit as intelligent as it sounds.

Feb 8 2007 LCD monitor vs Airsoft Desert Eagle

This guy's LCD monitor died so instead of throwing it out he decided to shoot it with his Tokyo Marui Airsoft Desert Eagle. Although I wish he tried it with a real Desert Eagle. I guarantee you it would've been exactly 1.3 billion times cooler.

Feb 6 2007 Ex-girlfriend throws 4 computers out highrise balcony

I had 4 computers doing folding (what is folding? - www.grid.org) on my ex's balcony in her highrise apt, and she supposedly got into some problems with her current BF and threw all of them off the building, and here are the photos to show what's left of it.... after 50lbs going through a 200ft fall.

2 were IBM intellistations M Pro, 2 were HP pavilion P4s.... The force of them falling was so great it flattened a full steel chair at kookooroo's dining area. The restuarant was not open, otherwise you would be reading this on CNN.