Nov 18 2009 I'll Miss You: Pirate Bay Tracker Shut Down

Well folks, it happened. The Pirate Bay BitTorrent tracker officially kicked the bucket yesterday. What does this mean for Pirate Bay users?

Although the site will remain operational for now, millions of BitTorrent users will lose the use of its tracker and will instead have to rely on DHT and alternative trackers to continue downloading.

"Now that the decentralized system for finding peers is so well developed, TPB has decided that there is no need to run a tracker anymore, so it will remain down! It's the end of an era, but the era is no longer up2date. We have put a server in a museum already, and now the tracking can be put there as well" the Pirate Bay crew write on their blog.

And what does this mean for iTunes users?

iTunes sucks, there's no porn on iTunes.

HELL YES I QUOTED MYSELF IN AN ARTICLE! I know shit -- I can say things!

The Pirate Bay Tracker Shuts Down for Good [torrentfreak]

Thanks to Bill, who hasn't paid for music since the Green Jellö cassette with 'Three Little Pigs'.

Jun 19 2009 It Was Only A Matter Of Time: 128GB Flashes

That's right, the folks over at Kingston are about to drop a 128GB flashbomb on the world. Available next month, the 128GB DataTraveler 200 will cost a staggering $547. SO DON'T WASH IN IN YOUR JEANS. Still, 128GB -- do you realize how much porn that is? *ahem* Me neither.

Kingston's Flash Drives Hit 128GB [uberreview]

Jun 9 2009 Like This: How To Make Tetris NSFW

This is a NSFW video of a tetrad guy watching a Tetris orgy video. Which, if watched without sound, is actually pretty safe for work. But then you don't get to hear all the moaning, which, honestly, is the only reason I stay in seedy hotels in the first place. As a matter of fact, a few weeks ago I heard this one couple going at it so hard it sounded like they were gonna kill each other. Then gunshots. Then me collecting my audio equipment and tiptoeing to the car.

Hardcore Tetris Orgy Brings Back Odd Memories [gizmodo]

Thanks to Julian, who's actually owns that title on Blu-ray.

Jun 7 2009 WoW Gold Farming Website Pays $500K For Tattoo Ad On Adult Film Star's Ample Chest

Russian adult film star Anna Morgan (seen above, possibly named after that chick in The Ring) was paid $500,000 to get a tattoo on her natural DD breasts advertising a World of Warcraft gold-selling website. Ah, capitalism. Also, breast advertisement ever.

The WoW Gold selling website, MyMMOShop.com has paid Russian porn star Anna Morgan to tattoo their company's logo and website URL to her breasts. The company feels that her natural dd sized breasts will provide an ample space for the advertisement. Given the number of films porn stars tend to make in a year's time, the tattoo should be seen many thousands of times. Anna has agreed not to alter the tattoo for at least two years.

Wow, I don't know what to say. This is simultaneously the most brilliant and saddest thing I've ever heard. I don't know whether I should laugh or cry or try to motorboat my monitor. BWUBWUBWUBWWUB! I chose wisely.

Porn Star Paid $500,000 To Tattoo Company URL & Logo To Her DD Breasts [newsguide]

Thanks to Troy, who once ran a Snuggie ad on his junk. The rest, is history.

May 8 2009 Hustler Makes Star Trek Themed Adult Film

Star Trek porn is nothing new (SO I'VE HEARD) but Hustler is aiming to take the cake with their latest Star Trek themed adult video, 'This Ain't Star Trek XXX' (weak title). This is the trailer for the it, which drops May 12th. Feel free to watch it at work -- it doesn't show anything bad. Then hit the jump for a blooper outtake from the video, which is safe as well. So, what do you think -- summer blockbuster or summer nutbuster? I'm going with neither.

Hit it for the blooper.

Continue Reading " Hustler Makes Star Trek Themed Adult Film "

Apr 15 2009 6-Year Old Finds Pron On New PSP, Cries

A six-year old found a bunch of nudey pictures on the PSP his mother purchased for him from Walmart and got all upset about it and cried to his mommy.

Tamatha said she found a memory card inside the PSP containing hundreds of pornographic pictures. She claimed it's not hers and it was in the PSP before she opened the box.

She then called the store wanting to speak with a manager about the problem. "I explained the situation and his response was, 'well, bring the machine down and we'll let your son pick out a new game,'" she said. "And I was like, no I don't think you heard what I said."

Tamatha is demanding a new gaming system, apology, and written promise her son won't grow up to be gay. Good luck with that Tamatha, but I've got news for you: he's been that way since birth. I mean, he cried when he saw a naked woman. What? Well, yeah, but I only do it sometimes.

Mom Finds Porn on New PSP [myfoxboston]

Thanks to Chris and Asiantom, who would have felt like they just won the fapping lottery.

Mar 31 2009 Netflix Announces Blu-ray Renting Costs

Yesterday Netflix announced its new cost structure for adding Blu-ray access to you account, just in case you were wondering. Basically, it costs $1 more than the number of discs you can have out at one time (if you're on the 3-at-a-time plan, adding Blu-ray costs $4 a month, for the 4-at-a-time, $5 a month, etc.). So there you have it. Of course, if you're looking to save money instead of spending it, you should do what I do and only rent from The Pirate Bay. And by rent I mean download. And by download I mean I heard they have porn. Which, *poker face* I don't know anything about.

Netflix Blog

Thanks to The Superficial Writer, who's still convinced HD DVD is gonna make a comeback.

Mar 25 2009 Neat: The Science Of Little Red Riding Hood

This is probably the coolest telling of Little Red Riding Hood I've ever seen not including the one where Red was a busty college co-ed and the wolf was just a guy with a monster dong and bear costume (low budget). But he still ate her alright! The grandmother too. *HORFITY HORF HORF BLOW CHUNKS*

Slagsmålsklubben [vimeo]

Thanks to Chris, who has never done a wolf but has had several cougars. Older ladies?

Feb 11 2009 Teens Spend Average Of 7.25 Hours Per Month Looking At Adult Content Online

I thought it would be more. Waaaay more.

That equates to 87 hours a year spent surfing for porn. A further hour and 35 minutes is spent looking at dieting and weight loss websites.

The poll revealed teenagers spend at least three hours and 10 minutes a week researching topics for their homework, and another one hour and 40 minutes downloading or listening to music. A further two hours and two minutes is spent looking at clips on YouTube, whilst an hour and 22 minutes is spent scouring NHS direct or other health websites for information about illnesses, puberty and growing pains.

Chat rooms, forums, MSN, and social networking sites such as Facebook also play an important role in the average life of a teenager, who can spend up to nine hours a week chatting to friends and new acquaintances.

Nine hours a week on Facebook? Jesus, what a bunch of rank amateurs. Try nine hours a day. Haha, I just Superpoked you, now Superpoke me back.

Hit the link for a much more in-depth breakdown of how teens piss away their lives online.

Teens spend average of 87 hours a year looking at porn online [dailymail]

Thanks to Skynet, who has apparently become self-aware and is now sending tips. Yikes.

Feb 2 2009 Some Cable Viewers In Arizona Got A Special Adult Film Surprise During The Superbowl

This is a picture of Jesus at the Superbowl. Hey, the man loves facepaint and funny hats. Since he was at the game, he didn't see the porno somebody inserted into the Comcast broadcast of the game in Tucson, Arizona.

With under three minutes left and just after Larry Fitzgerald's heroic comeback(ish) touchdown for the Cardinals, the video feed abruptly switched to a scene from stablemate channel Club Jenna, treating viewers to the sight of seemingly omnipresent porn guy Evan Stone swinging his junk around like a maniac. This interlude lasted about 30 seconds.

Comcast told the Arizona Daily Star that engineers have been "working throughout the night" to figure out what happened, but haven't yet come up with an explanation.

Yeah, wow, I wonder how that happened, Comcast. Definitely gonna have to put your thinking cap on tight to solve this one. Also, I did not post the NSFW video here, but you can see it if you follow the link. I watched it, and, yeah, you can bet your golden ticket I'll be looking for it the next time I enter the curtained mecca at Video Palace.

Prank of the Year: Comcast Tucson Airs Graphic Porn During Super Bowl (NSFW) [gizmodo]

Thanks to Lauren, Louis, Emi and Kokopure, who won't recognize me because I only visit the video store in costume.

Jan 12 2009 Oh My God A New Sex Toy Thingy For Guys

The Real Touch may look like a torture device (and may, in fact, BE a torture device), but is allegedly the latest advancement in solitary male pleasure. Just look at that thing -- reminds me of the time my penis got run over by a Sherman tank. I'm sure it's safe though. After all, it was designed and "thoroughly tested" by a NASA engineer.

It's a computer-controlled "stimulation" device that uses specially encoded content to bring a sort of virtual-reality experience to, um, a certain member. Using a host of technologies, the futuristic-looking computer peripheral simulates motion, adjusts temperature and provides lubrication. The encoding is deciphered by a custom Windows Media Player plugin.

Basically you plug the unit's USB cable into your computer, plug your unit into the unit, and presto!: it mimics the feelings you'd experience if you were actually banging the chick in the porno and not sitting at a computer desk sobbing into a stained gym sock.

The Real Touch is available now for $150. And, if you get the chance AND ARE NOT AT WORK NSFW NSFW NSFW you HAVE TO go to the official website and watch the video of the chick explaining the device. It was....something.

NSFW NSFW NSFW Official Website NSFW NSFW NSFW
via
The sickest gadget DVICE saw in Vegas [dvice]

Thanks to Rachel, whose lucky man doesn't need a Real Touch.