Nov 5 2009 This Isn't Your Grandma's Cell Phone! Yes It Is.
If there's one thing old people love it's soft food. If there's another it's stuff with giant-ass buttons so they can push the right one with their shaky, arthritic fingers. Aaaaaand I've officially depressed myself. Good times. Anyway, this is a cell phone for old people and people with fat fingers. Or, as we like to call them in the hand modeling biz, Vienna digits.
The 6380 Senior Mobile Phone ($75 USD) does actually have a few handy features, including a built in flashlight, and a giant "SOS" button on the back that can automatically dial a pre-set emergency number, and emit a loud warning alarm. It's also got a minimal display with large on-screen fonts, and a whopping 128×60 screen resolution.
I kind of want one. Not that I have fat fingers, because I don't. I'm just clumsy. One time I tried ordering a pizza and ended up spending an hour on a phone sex line. DAMN YEAH I WANT PEPPERONI ON THAT!
Hit the jump for two more shots of the latest in geriatric communication technology.
Continue Reading " This Isn't Your Grandma's Cell Phone! Yes It Is. "
Jul 16 2009 *Ring* Hello -- Death?: Novelty Skull Phone
I honestly thought novelty phones went out of style when people stopped using land lines, but hey, maybe your grandparents want a damn skull phone. That's cool. Just don't let them get on the interwebs lest they hand their life savings over to a Nigerian prince. Anyway, the $25 Thriller Skull Phone from Brando is available in white and metallic copper finishes and has blue LED eyes that light up when the phone is ringing. Sadly, it's not even cordless. WHO THE HELL STILL USES CORDED PHONES? Fun fact: I saw a payphone the other day. Did you know we still had those? Me neither. There was a hooker standing nearby and everything.
brando's thriller skull phone: so this is what happened to skeletor [technabob]
Thanks to FDSY and cakey, who make all their calls the old fashioned way: by yelling.
Jun 1 2009 Boom Shacka Lacka!: The New PSP Go
This is the new PSP. It's called the PSP Go. You know, because it's portable. It may or may not come preloaded with porn. Specs? I has them:
* 3.8-inch display (resolution is undisclosed)
* 43 percent lighter than the PSP-3000
* 16GB of Flash storage
* Bluetooth built-in; supports handset tethering and BT headsets
* No UMD drive
* Memory Stick Micro slot
* New Gran Turismo, Little Big Planet and new Metal Gear Solid (!) on the way
* Full PlayStation Network support (movie and TV rentals / purchases)
* Integration with PlayStation 3 (works the same as the PSP-3000 does)
* Sony views each of its products as "10-year lifecycle products," so the PSP "needs to live on."
Well, what do you think? I like the sliding feature, that's not necessary. Also, PSP Go -- really? I hope nobody got paid to come up with that. Because it's stupid. I would have gone with PSP You Can Take It With You.
Sony's PSP Go leaks out before E3, is obviously a go [engadget]
Thanks to obi jwan and Rik, who don't need portable gaming devices because they only play mind games.
Mar 10 2009 Geekologie Review: The Clarion MiND
WOOT -- a product review. I took the Clarion MiND to find the grave of F. Scott Fitzgerald and then, in his honor, to the bar. Hit the jump to find out how it all went down.
Jan 24 2009 Wow, Just Wow: Chia Obama Heads
Chia Obama comes in both "determined" and "happy" poses, costs $20, and is probably the worst way to "honor" a president I can think of.
Hit the jump for a comparison of the two poses.
Dec 17 2008 I Am Stupid, These Are Better iPhone Gloves
Okay, so apparently that last pair of gloves I posted for using touchscreen devices suck because your fingers get all cold. Boy was that a stupid product design. But apparently these DOTS gloves will still work AND keep your digits nice and toasty. They work via those magical little dots on the tips of the fingers. A knit pair will set you back $15, wool $20. Despite contacting the company, I received no word on what the dots are actually made of, which begs the question -- angel nipples?
Thanks to egleaves and David for pointing out that the other gloves are for nose-pickers, not iPhoners.
Dec 8 2008 Why?: The Type-From-The-Back Keyboard
The Grippity is a real product that will be hitting shelves mid next year for about a hundred bones (big ones, like arm and leg bones -- not the little ones in your ear). I question its usefulness. But then again, I question the usefulness of my third leg too. It drags on the ground, so, I dunno, maybe it's for stability.
You get a full QWERTY keyboard that allows for eight-finger typing yoga straight from the back, while a couple of triggers behind double up as mouse buttons. The learning curve for this would be pretty steep as you will probably have to forget about everything you know and start over. Nice to see the Grippity come with an orientation sensor that enables the 60 QWERTY keys to double up as hot keys whenever the unit is flipped over.
Cool, yes, but why? Like drinking a gallon of milk in an hour, just because you can, doesn't mean you should. Unless a friend bets against you, in which case it becomes a matter of pride. And projectile vomiting.
Hit the jump to see a picture of the back.
Mar 17 2008 More Rejected Star Wars Promotional Goods
Remember the rejected Star Wars/Pepsi promotional products from a couple months ago? Well it turns out there was a whole bunch more! And here they are. Woo-wee! Who wouldn't want a Jabba bean bag couch, Bantha slippers, cockpit sun-shield, or Star Wars-universe mounted animal heads? Not me! I want several of these pretty badly. And now I would like to offer anyone who can make out with a chick (one without a mustache) on a Jabba beanbag chair $10,000 for the picture proving it.* We'll call it the Fat Chance: Not Even A Long Time Ago In A Galaxy Far, Far Away Contest. You know, because it won't happen. And if it does, well, the chick has really low standards. Or is a freak. Either way, give her my number when you're done Hutting it.
*$10,000 not included.
MUST SEE GALLERY OF ALL THE OTHER PRODUCTS AFTER THE JUMP.
Continue Reading " More Rejected Star Wars Promotional Goods "
Mar 13 2008 Backpack Has Speakers, Stormtrooper Styling
The Reppo II Backpack is a product design by Joonas Saaranen. As you may be able to tell being the astute observer that I know you are, it's a hardshell backpack with speakers. It was designed with those people in mind that want to subject you to their music no matter how much it sucks. Like Captain Deaf of the USS Busted Eardrums I had to sit next to on the bus yesterday. He was wearing headphones, but he had the volume up so loud the whole bus could probably hear. I mean WTF? I was going to grab his iPod and smash it, but I knew that things would work themselves out. And you know what? I was right. He got mugged after getting off at his stop. Poor bastard, no more music for him. Say, speaking of music -- I've got a nice iPod for sale. Great condition, comes with a pair of really loud headphones.
Reppo II Boombox Backpack Could Have Some Niche Appeal [uberreview]
