Sep 27 2009 Scientists To Pull Pictures From Your Brain

I know for a fact the government can pull images from a person's brain because they've been probing around in my dome for years, messing with the delicate ecosystem up there. And one time when I was being interrogated I saw a picture of a dinosaur in an agent's file folder, SO I KNOW. Anyway, apparently they've decided to make the technology public knowledge.

Having modeled how images are represented in the brain, the researchers translated recorded patterns of neural activity into pictures of what test subjects had seen.

To construct their model, the researchers used an fMRI machine, which measures blood flow through the brain, to track neural activity in three people as they looked at pictures of everyday settings and objects.

As in the earlier study, they looked at parts of the brain linked to the shape of objects. Unlike before, they looked at regions whose activity correlates with general classifications, such as "buildings" or "small groups of people."

Once the model was calibrated, the test subjects looked at another set of pictures. After interpreting the resulting neural patterns, the researchers' program plucked corresponding pictures from a database of 6 million images.

Soon, everyone will have a photo printer in the back of their head to print off worthwhile images they've seen. Me? I already have one. Don't believe me -- check this stack of pictures. What? Don't act like you've never seen a dinosaur penis before!

Brain Scans Reveal What You've Seen [wired]

Thanks to Anit, who can read minds like comic books: with incredible difficulty.

Aug 17 2009 British Government Releases UFO Files

The British government, in an attempt to cleanse its fish and chip stained hands, has released previously confidential documents regarding little green men who come to stick things in your butt while you're sleeping (elves).

The National Archives on Monday released the government's complete file on the "Rendlesham Forest Incident" of December 1980, one of Britain's most famous UFO sightings.

Halt reported that two servicemen had noticed "unusual lights" about 3 a.m. in the woods outside the gates of RAF Woodbridge, a U.S. base in eastern England. He wrote that patrolmen sent to investigate saw "a strange glowing object" in the forest.

The metallic, triangular object "illuminated the entire forest with a white light," he wrote.

The next day, investigators found depressions in the ground and unusual radiation readings. That night many personnel -- including Halt himself -- saw a pulsing "red sun-like light" in the trees that broke into five white objects and disappeared.

I mean, is it not common knowledge by now that aliens exist. Because if they didn't, where did *rummaging around in ass* THIS come from?!? And no, this isn't just a television antennae with aluminum foil wrapped around it. Okay, so maybe it is. Still, there's something else in there, I can feel it...
...
...
...a dinosaur toy -- I've been looking for that!

Britain publishes more UFO files, but few answers [yahoonews]

Thanks to Brad, who once slept with an alien chick and didn't even bother phoning her home the next day. Bad form, Brad.

Jun 27 2009 MacBooks Made With Space Technology

Here's video proof MacBooks are made with space technology. Now I don't want to ruin it for you, but I'm going to anyways: they are among us. And by they I mean them. The French.

Liveleak

Thanks to Ryan, Geekologie fan.

Jun 7 2009 The Aliens Are Coming: Sheep In A Circle

This is a picture of sheep in Herefordshire, England forming a perfect circle all by themselves because the aliens are coming. And aliens, at least according to science, hate circles. Some people believe the shape was created by a farmer dropping feed in a circular pattern, but those people are crazy.

Photographer Russell Bird, who captured the amazing scene, said:"I was quite taken aback. I couldn't believe what I was seeing," he said.

Bizarrely, he then spotted another circle three fields away, but was unable to take a picture with both "formations" lasting around 10 minutes before dispersing.

Estate agent Mr Bird added of the scene in Kington, Herefordshire: "They moved around inside and were almost filling the gaps in.

"The only reason this circle came to an end was that the farmer came in with a tractor and some food."

Did you read that? If you answered, "No, I was too busy digging my tinfoil helmet out of the hall closet", congratulations, there may be hope for you yet.

Forget crop circles - now we've got a mysterious SHEEP circle [mailonline]

Thanks to naas, who's smart enough to keep a roll of industrial strength duct tape by the bedside.

Aug 19 2008 Man Designs IFO, Seeks Funding

Kevin Brown is a man. A man who designed an IFO and is now seeking funding to start production. Introducing the VTOHLJATT: A Vertical Takeoff Hover Landing Jet Aerial Terrestrial Transport (you've gotta admit, it's got a ring to it).

The vehicle has four models starting with the single seat version, capable of lifting the pilot and one passengers. The 2 seater version is capable of lifting the pilot, co.-pilot and 2 passengers and the 4 seater version is capable of lifting the pilot, the co.-pilot, engineer, navigator and 3 passengers. Each version configuration is maintained by an equal weight to thrust and lift ratios.

All vehicles will enable the occupants to take off and land vertically, by use of 4, jet vectored thrust engines. counter rotation turbo fan-jets; appox: 17" Dia. by 37.8 in Length, 300 pounds in dry weight. Capable of thrusts of up to 1200 Static 4 time that, well 4800, you see my point.

The purpose of the vehicle is to enable this vehicle to maneuver in very tight, confined, spaces. Models depending on size of Occupancy range from 4 square meters to 10 square meters. The overall size of the vehicle will be no larger than an ordinary, domestic compact import car for the single seater version.

So, who's investing? Somebody better be, because I want one of these things. Think about it: owning your very own IFO! Finally, a chance to turn the table on those wonk-eyed aliens. Nobody probes this this ass and get away with it! Well, except a very special cellmate of mine. Miss you, call me when you're out.

Hit the jump for a bunch of different models of the craft, and email Kevin at kevbro007[at]hotmail[dot]com if you want Kevin to contact you with more info.

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Sep 20 2007 Free Ride Pen Gives No Complimentary Rides

Designer Jean Pierre Lepine (like pen!) has developed the Free Ride Pen. It is an expensive ass writing instrument that reminds me of the thing aliens ram in my exit hole whenever they pick me up for studies. It costs $175.

The Free Ride is designed to be different, ergonomic, and fun. This push top ballpoint features a soft rubber like material in the vital sections where finger meets pen. The arched hull is held in place by hand drilled screws. As Lepine puts it, “I create tomorrow’s writing instruments for today’s men and women”.

If this is tomorrow's writing instrument, I don't know how I feel about the future anymore. I thought it was supposed to be flying cars and robots, not $175 ass probes that double as pens. I don't remember seeing this thing in Back to the Future II. Screw it, I'm getting drunk and passing out somewhere.

UPDATE: One more picture after the click.

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