Oct 15 2009 Abe, Nooo!: Gallery Of Geek-ily Defaced Bills

Because it's illegal and I don't do anything illegal, I've never defaced currency or put pennies on a train track. Nor have I looked at another man's junk while standing at a urinal. Or have I? I totally have -- I do it often!

Peekaboo.

Hit the jump for 15 more presidents dressed as different characters. There are laughs to be had!

Continue Reading " Abe, Nooo!: Gallery Of Geek-ily Defaced Bills "

Sep 24 2009 Be Like Obama: Pac-Man Laptop Stickers

AAAAHH, HE'S POINTING DIRECTLY AT MY SOUL! But that's not the point, the point is that there's little Pac-Man looking sticker (which I'm pretty sure is actually a Chain Chomp sans chain) on the president's MacBook Pro. And now you can have one just like it for the low, low introductory price of $3 (or 5 for $12)!

These Pacman stickers in dark blue are now available for sale from Obama Pacman! Works on your Apple laptop, including MacBook, MacBook Pro, MacBook Air, your Apple desktop, including iMac, Mac Pro, and maybe even a Mac Mini. These high quality stickers will also work for PCs and almost anything else you can get your hands on.

OMG, Pac is headed right for that apple! Don't eat it, Pac, DON'T DO IT! *om nom nom nom* Thanks a lot jerk, now we have to leave the garden. Say -- think you could get the missus to flash us all before we go?

Product Site

Sep 17 2009 I'm On To You!: The President Is A Jedi

So apparently President Obama is a Jedi. Okay, maybe a padawan. Fine, just a guy waving a plastic lightsaber around. But that's not what's important. What's important is we arrange a lightsaber duel between him and Star Wars Boy. I'll get the president on the line, you get Obi Un-Coordinated.

Hit the jump for a picture of Obama running his wife through with a pirate sword and staring at some guy's ass, just for the hell of it.

Continue Reading " I'm On To You!: The President Is A Jedi "

Jun 3 2009 Damnit Obama, Accept My Friend Request

We've already featured some fake celebrity Facebook pages on Geekologie, so why not the president's? Yes, why not the president's? That's something I ask my self everyday just once a few minutes ago. Also, if you haven't already joined the Geekologie page on Facebook, you are no innovator. You are a laggard. And, if you know anything about the Everett Rogers Diffusion of Innovation theory, that's the worst kind. Now I know what you're thinking, "Holy shit, the Geekologie Writer must have like thirty genius brains", but you're wrong, I have an infinity. Times infinity. Kidding, totally think with my junk.

Hit the jump to see the whole profile, which may or not feature Kim Jong-il riding a missile (it does).

Continue Reading " Damnit Obama, Accept My Friend Request "

Mar 17 2009 PEW PEW Goes The Debt Star

I'm only posting this because I have a contractual obligation to post anything Death Star related. Also, I secretly enjoy watching you folks duke it out in the comments section Special Olympics style. However, in the case of this poster, I believe it actually carries a powerful political message. One about mediocre Photoshop skills, and also, Ewoks. My God they're delicious. "Gunta, che-ya gobu fenga wa!" Haha, shut up and get back on the grill.

Thanks to The Blue Bass, who didn't specify if he was large or smallmouth.

Mar 11 2009 Lincoln's Pocketwatch Contained Secret Message, Secret Not So Secret Anymore

Apparently a watchmaker who was repairing President Lincoln's watch on the day gunfire broke out at Fort Sumter, SC (sparking the civil war), secretly immortalized the day by engraving a note inside Lincoln's pocketwatch.

The engraving, by watchmaker Jonathan Dillon, is dated April 13, 1861, and reads in part: "Fort Sumpter was attacked by the rebels" and "thank God we have a government."

Forty-five years later, Dillon the watchmaker told The New York Times that he was repairing Lincoln's watch when he heard that the first shots of the Civil War had been fired.

Dillon said he unscrewed the dial of the watch and used a sharp instrument to mark the historic day on the president's watch. He told the newspaper that, as far as he knew, no one had ever seen the inscription.

The National Museum of American History agreed to open the watch to see if the inscription was there after being contacted by Dillon's grandson. And lo and behold -- there she blew! Apparently Lincoln never knew about it -- probably because he was too busy chopping down cherry trees. Am I right? What do you mean, "that was Washington?" Carver? I thought he was the peanut guy.

Museum finds "secret" message in Lincoln's watch [reuters]

Thanks to NTF, who found a hidden message in her Tokyoflash. It read "Made in Japan".

Mar 10 2009 Obama Reverses Stem Cell Research Policy

Obama, in a pow-pow-power move, signed an executive order (I need a pad of those) yesterday that has " cleared the way for a significant increase in federal dollars for embryonic stem cell research". Now I don't even know what that means, but I do want to clone my dog. And also, grow a tail.

"Medical miracles do not happen simply by accident," Obama declared.

Obama signed the executive order on the divisive stem cell issue and a memo addressing what he called scientific integrity before an East Room audience packed with scientists. He laced his remarks with several jabs at the way science was handled by former President George W. Bush.

"Promoting science isn't just about providing resources, it is also about protecting free and open inquiry," Obama said. "It is about letting scientists like those here today do their jobs, free from manipulation or coercion, and listening to what they tell us, even when it's inconvenient especially when it's inconvenient. It is about ensuring that scientific data is never distorted or concealed to serve a political agenda and that we make scientific decisions based on facts, not ideology."

Well rooty tooty, fresh and fruity! Maybe scientists will finally be able to unlock the secret of my seductive pheromones. Here -- lick my armpit. You taste that? It's called gin, and I sweat it. You ever made love to a man that smells like a pine tree? It's coniferous.

Obama reverses Bush-era stem cell policy [msnbc]

Thanks to Ryan, who is a huge proponent of both twig and branch cell research.

Feb 22 2009 Roll One Up, America: Obama Sushi Rolls

These are apparently sushi rolls made to look like US president Barack Obama. I think I speak for all of us when I say: the president has never tasted so good. Haha, shut up Monica -- your opinion doesn't count! HIYO.

Hit the jump for a couple more pictures including one of a massive Obama sushi display.

Continue Reading " Roll One Up, America: Obama Sushi Rolls "

Feb 11 2009 Different Geeky Takes On The Iconic Obama 'Hope' Poster

Remember the iconic 'Hope' posters used during Obama's presidential campaign? Ha, how could you forget, they're burnt into your retinas the way -- HEY LOOK AT THIS! -- my genitals now are. Well the website obamicon.me has been kicking it for a while, allowing any Tom, Dick, or Jane to make their own inspirational poster and message using a photo they upload. So go make one. Then post a link to it in the comments. But more importantly, hit the jump for a gallery of posters that are way cooler than the one you were going to make. Unless, of course, you were going to make one with a picture of me that says 'DOPE', in which case, yes, I am pretty fly.

Hit it for the galleria.

Continue Reading " Different Geeky Takes On The Iconic Obama 'Hope' Poster "

Jan 30 2009 Shrine Erected For Iraqi Shoe Thrower

Remember the reporter that bared his sole to President Bush during a news conference? Well now Muntadhir al-Zaidi's famous footwear is immortalized at an orphanage in Saddam Hussein's hometown of Tikrit, in the form of a giant copper shoe.

Assisted by children at the home, sculptor Laith al-Amiri erected a brown replica of one of the shoes hurled at Bush and Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki by journalist Muntadhir al-Zaidi during a press conference in Baghdad.

The shoe monument, made of fiberglass and coated with copper, consists of the shoe and a concrete base. The entire monument is 3.5 meters (11.5 feet) high. The shoe is 2.5 meters (8.2 feet) long and 1.5 meters (4.9 feet) wide.

Well now I want a big metal shoe. *removes flip-flop and throws at laptop* Take that, interweb godz! Haha, I know it was a sandal, but you think you could make my statue a boot? I want to drink out of it!

Monument to Bush shoe-throwing shines at Iraqi orphanage [cnn]

Thanks to Yousri and Sshaitan. Sshaitan wrote a rap song about Geekologie, here it is:

Of all the websites in my head/
this one PWNS the interweb/
the links bout link, the bourbon drinks/
the depressing posts about what you think/
(on the low you need a shrink)
but all in all damn im a fan/
starwars, steampunk, watches from japan/
perverse jokes, portal guns/
the sites poppin off at number one/
this is freestyle, so call it free/
pimp daddy , mac daddy ... geek-ol-oh g!

Those beats were so fresh! Now where was your song, Yousri?

Jan 26 2009 Interchangeable Ties: An Obama Action Figure

This presidential action figure is certainly a step above Chia Obama. Available in Japan, Action Obama comes complete with interchangeable ties, hands, and weaponry. He can hold an American flag, microphone, gun, katana, and even a lightsaber. He cannot, however, hold a bachelor party for shit. WHERE WERE THE STRIPPERS, BARACK? I swear.

Random Japanese Obama Action Figure [buzzfeed]

Thanks to Jacen, Ray, MechanicalApe, John and Brit, who are all too old to play with action figures but still do because they're that cool.

Jan 25 2009 Eye Candy: A 1,474 Megapixel Inauguration Photo With Sweet Zoom-In Capabilities

Oh man, you can actually zoom in on faces in the audience and see the snot dripping.

But what you're looking at is not a single image. The photo, which was shot using a Canon G10 and Gigapan Imager, is comprised of over 200 different shots that were then combined over the course of six hours using Gigapan software. The final product has a resolution of 1,474 megapixels and a TIF file size of almost 2 gigabytes

Pretty freaking awesome. So go HERE to explore the image for yourself. It's fun, I spent the better part of five minutes celebrity-hunting in the audience. Thought I spotted Oprah, but it was just some no-name with a turkey drumstick.

Fullscreen Inauguration Gigapan Viewer
via
Panaramic Inaugural Photo [ign]

Thanks to Matt and Hanes, who were both invited to the inauguration but fell in the reflecting pool and had to go home and change clothes, missing it.

Jan 24 2009 Wow, Just Wow: Chia Obama Heads

Chia Obama comes in both "determined" and "happy" poses, costs $20, and is probably the worst way to "honor" a president I can think of.

Hit the jump for a comparison of the two poses.

Continue Reading " Wow, Just Wow: Chia Obama Heads "

Jan 15 2009 Obama's Inauguration In LEGO Form

LEGOLAND California has a new scene on display from now until Memorial Day -- the 56th Presidential Inauguration featuring Barack Obama and a thousand other plastic figurines that only slightly resemble who they're supposed to!

More than one-thousand mini-figures have been created out of thousands of LEGO bricks to be a part of the festivities. Mini-figures include President-elect Obama and his family, Vice President-elect Joseph Biden and Jill Biden, President George Bush and First Lady Laura Bush, Vice President Dick Cheney and Lynn Cheney along with former President George Bush Sr. and Barbara Bush. Other mini-figures depicting ceremony participants include: Senator Dianne Feinstein, Dr. Rick Warren, Aretha Franklin, John Williams and performers Itzhak Perlman, Yo-Yo-Ma, Gabriela Montero, Anthony McGill, the Unites States Marine Band, the San Francisco Boys Chorus and the San Francisco Girls Chorus. Park guests can also find Oprah Winfrey in the crowd witnessing this momentous event...

Wow, sounds like some real eye-candy. Too bad I'm going to the actual inauguration. Look for me -- I'll be the one carrying the 'Geekologie Writer In 2011' sign. I know, I was drunk when I got them printed.

Obama's Inauguration, in Legos [themeparkinsider]

Thanks to Bryan, who, for the tip, gets a spot in my cabinet. My liquor cabinet. HIYO! Kidding Bryan, hands off my booze.

Jan 13 2009 President-Elect Barack Obama Plays Wii

That's right folks, the soon-to-be president is rocking a Wii. And thank goodness too, because in an earlier interview Barack claimed the last video game he'd played was Pong. So yeah, whew.

Barack Obama reportedly said he's better at the Wii version of bowling than he was at the real thing while on the campaign trail in Pennsylvania last year.

This knowledge is courtesy of a passing reference Thursday by a New York Times blogger, who buried it in his last paragraph, unaware that the Wii news, rather than Obama's (accurate) prediction that Florida would win college football's championship game, would light up the Internets the next day.

So, Barack, maybe you could add me to your friends list. Then our Wii Miis could parade together. That would be fun, wouldn't it? Also, quick question: are you man enough to play wrist-strapless? Because I am. Isn't that right, Superficial Writer? Ha, your TV was a piece of shit anyways.

Barack Obama's family gets a Wii video game system; so what does his Mii look like? [chicagotribune]

Thanks to Lisa, who is chock-full of Wii win.

Jan 12 2009 It's So Haaaaard To Say Goodbyeeeee To Yesterdaaaaaay: The Shredder Calendar

The Chrono-Shredder is a wall calendar designed by Susanna Hertrich that shreds the days as they pass. It takes a full 24-hours to shred a date, but only 10 minutes to run a dead hooker through a wood-chipper.

The Chrono-Shredder is a device that reminds us of the preciousness of our lifetime. It represents the passing of time by shredding the days of the year - printed on a paper roll - at a slow constant rate. To shred one day takes 24 hours. There is no "off"-button. As the seconds pass by, the tattered remains of the past pile up under the device...

Neat. Holler at 'ol Susanna (who cries for no one) if you can help manufacture them. Because I need one in a bad way -- I never have any idea what day it is. All I know is we've got an election coming up -- and then Jesus' birthday! WOOT!

Hit the jump for a picture of the mess the calendar makes.

Continue Reading " It's So Haaaaard To Say Goodbyeeeee To Yesterdaaaaaay: The Shredder Calendar "

Jan 10 2009 Barack Obama To Star In Spider-Man Comic

Did you know Barack Obama collected Spider-Man comics? I didn't. But since he is such a big fan, Marvel artists have decided to feature Barack in a special inaugural issue.

Mr Obama's fan status was revealed by his campaign team, who released 10 little-known facts about the Democrat. "Right at the top of that list was he collected Spider-Man comics"

In the six-page story, an impostor poses as the new president on inauguration day in a dubious attempt to cop a ride in the new presidential limo. That's when Spidey has to swing in and bust the proverbial web.

When an imposter turns up, Spider-Man leaps into action, greeting Mr Obama with the words: "Hiya, prez-elect! Loved ya in the debates."

Hiya, prez-elect? Loved ya in the debates? WTF, Spiderman? Next time I think it's best if you just just keep your mouth closed. And also, the zipper of that costume -- I think I saw your Spidey-bits.

Obama to star in Spider-Man comic [bbcnews]

Thanks to Jennaiii and Canoboy, who are immune to spider bites because they were both bit by black widows in utero.

Jan 9 2009 New Presidential Limo Ready For Action Jan 20

CLICK HERE FOR FULL SIZE IMAGE

Remember the new presidential limo that Cadillac designed to be PEW PEW proof? Well it's been approved for use starting January 20th and is jam-packed with all kinds of exciting features like extra presidential blood (I'm not kidding) and 8-inch thick (me too, ladies) doors that weigh as much as a 757's cabin door. I thought it was funny the driver side window is the only one that goes down and even it only 3-inches (me too, ladies) to "pay a toll or talk with secret service agents running alongside". Pay a toll? Get freaking real! I know the picture is small, so click here to see the full size image and read all those little words. Then, read my lips: No. new. tickets. Seriously, I'm already driving on a suspended license. Shhhhhh!

Inside the Rocket-Proof Obamamobile [gizmodo]

Thanks to Pat and Vossk, who allegedly both banged hookers in the back of this thing while it was being built.

Jan 9 2009 Obama Requests Extension For Analog TV Shutdown. Confused Grandparents Rejoice, But Don't Really Know What's Happening.

President-elect Barack Obama requested Congress extend the analog television cut-off date because inadequate funding and flaws in the converter box program. You know, because a bunch of people are stupid. And dumb. Mad dumb.

John Podesta, co-chair of the Obama-Biden transition team, requested that "the cut-off date (February 17th) for analog signals should be reconsidered and extended". The letter was sent this Thursday to the chairs and ranking Republicans on the House Energy & Commerce Committee and Senate Commerce Committee.

Apparently there is some concern that the inbreds will freak out and blame the new president when their picture-boxes stop working shortly after his inauguration. So better to postpone the shutdown and educate the yokels before things get out of hand. Uh-oh, and speaking of getting out of hand -- where'd my penis go?

Obama Asks Congress for Analog TV Shutdown Delay [gizmodo]

Nov 17 2008 Oooh, Nice Ride: The New Presidential Limo

General Motors, best known for their delicious line of breakfast cereals, has designed an all new presidential limo for when Barack Obama takes power next year. They were going to do it four years ago, but figured, f*** it, let's focus our efforts on going belly-up for awhile. Anyway, the car.

Most of the specs of this car are top secret, but a few tantalizing details are floating around, such as the five-inch-thick windows that are about half as transparent as regular glass and can stop projectiles from assault rifles, rocket-propelled grenades and high explosives. It's also said to be built of a combination of blast-proof ceramics and exotic metals, and certainly won't have a convertible top or sunroof. While GM's trying to make it look like a Cadillac DTS, it's based on the company's line of heavy-duty 2500 trucks.

Top secret specs my ass. I'll tell you all about this thing: It runs on a rocket engine powered by the tar-like blood of terrorists. It can also hover. Comes complete with dinosaur chauffeur who doubles as sexual masseuse should you hit rush-hour traffic. AM/FM radio. Four tires and spare donut in the trunk. Mini-bar. Wicked two-tone paintjob. Left and right turn signals. Bomb proof undercarriage. 7MPG city/13 highway. A real pussy magnet. I'm serious -- the CIA stole my blueprints.

Obama's new presidential limo is built like a tank, looks like a Cadillac [dvice]