Oct 26 2009 The Lullabelly: Music To Your (Baby's) Ears
The Lullabelly is a prenatal (I love those vitamins!) musical belt that pregnant women can strap on and connect to an MP3 player so they can play tunes to their babies while the little tykes are in utero. It's supposed to make them smarter or something but it will probably just make them want a drum set when they're young and fill your house with cacophony and make daddy drink more (I say go for it).
There's a volume control dial so things don't get too loud as well as a pocket for holding your player, and the whole thing is machine washable, after you take out the easy-to-remove speaker of course. It's available in 3 different fabric patterns (pink, green or blue polka dots) directly from the Lullabelly website for $55.
Pregnant women are beautiful, aren't they? God, sometimes I wish I could experience childbirth. But not as a father -- as a mother. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Did I get anybody? You all know me too well.
Lullabelly Prenatal Music Belt [ohgizmo]
May 30 2009 She Laid An Egg!: A Cute Yoshi Nursery
This is a cute Yoshi nursery made by Flickr user meadblog for his first little bundle of pain joy. And, according to a recent study conducted by yours truly, raising your child in a video game-themed nursery helps the youngster develop better hand eye coordination and ability to pwn others in the future. Isn't that right, little Geekologie Jr.? "pew pew!" Awh, that's my boy!
Hit the jump for a couple more shots and a link to his Flickr gallery, with has a ton of work-in-progress pictures.
Apr 23 2009 Uh-Oh: Doctor Claims He Can Clone Humans
Just look at all those cute little babies. Really makes you consider wearing a condom next time, doesn't it? Yeah it does. Anyway, Dr. Panayiotis Zavos, a controversial fertility doctor, claims he's gonna be cloning humans within two years.
[The] doctor has claimed he cloned 14 human embryos and transferred 11 of them into women's wombs. Dr Panayiotis Zavos carried out the work at a secret laboratory thought to be in the Middle East.
"Dr Zavos saw vigorous growth in 30 cell embryos before he transferred them into the womb and that is why he is optimistic that a human clone baby will be born within two years," he said."This has reached an advanced stage and is potentially a viable form of infertility treatment."
The article goes on to discuss the ethics of a woman who wants her 10-year old daughter, who died in a car crash, cloned. Which, wow, sounds like the worst idea I've heard all morning. Seriously -- and I had an offer to go play in traffic. No, when it comes to cloning, there's one very simple rule: dinosaurs only.
Could Cloning Bring Dead Girl Back To Life? [skynews]
Thanks to jigga, Thumperchica and Christina, who all want GW clones but I told them no. I've seen Multiplicity! Okay, I haven't -- but I did see the commercial where the dumb one tries to stick pizza in his wallet.
Apr 19 2009 Fail: How Not To Get Your Wife Pregnant
I'm filing this one under awesome. Awesomely sad. Some guy paid his neighbor $2,500 to have sex with his wife 72 times in an attempt to get her pregnant. But it didn't work! Read the whole article to find out what happened, and trust me -- it'll make you feel good about your own life. Unless your kids look suspiciously like the Fed-Ex guy, in which case, hey, I'm sure it's just coincidence. BWAH AHHAHAHA! Coincidence. BWAHAHAHA!
Paid to do it 72 times [just-whatever]
Thanks to Josh, who once got an entire women's swim team pregnant just by tipping his toe in the pool.
Apr 9 2008 Questionable: Cheese From Women's Milk
Well ever since yesterday when the ick-factor was ramped up with (fake) baby chocolates and disgusting health drinks, the grody tips have been pouring in and making me even sicker. This is one of the lesser ones -- women's breast milk cheese from France. Allegedly Le Petit Singly is a farm that specializes in the stuff.
Le Petit Singly is a farm that specializes in making cheese from women's breast milk. Are you imagining the milking process? Admittedly, that imagery makes me come to the conclusion that it's an absolutely bizarre and crazy world of cheesemaking in little ole Singly, France. But, no. I think the "donors" bring their milk to the farm, or something like that.
The cheese is produced exactly like it would be for cow's milk and apparently tastes like it has hints of hazelnut. I still have my doubts about its existence, though. The farm says the cheese is rich in vitamins and nutrients but I don't think these survive after being ultra-pasteurized. Also, they have an "AB" label, which is the official label for organic products. Does that mean that the women all grazed on organic?
Hoax potential aside, I'd eat the hell out of some breast milk cheese. I bet it's delicious, and I love hints of hazelnut. It's like when my wife was pregnant with our daughter and I tried to get a little suckle on the proverbial teat. I barely got a taste before she kicked me in the privates and told me I was "stealing from the baby". I told her that that was bull, the baby was stealing from me. And she continues to -- 1 down, 17 to go.
Human Breast Milk Cheese Made In France [whytraveltofrance]
(apparently for the breast milk cheese)
Thanks to Richard, whose curiosity got the best of him, for the tip
Feb 28 2008 Silicon Womb Thing For In-Vitro Fertilization
What you see there is the Anecova Silicon Womb, which is a device for women that makes in-vitro fertilization easier. Basically you load that bad boy with eggs and it allows the embryos to experience a natural womb feel thanks to the hundreds of 40-micron holes. Apparently this is a significant breakthrough in IVF technology and may aid many women looking to become pregnant. And for all of you out there that are, I really wish you the best. I also really wish you'd call me sometime. You know they don't call me Geekologie Wanker the Baby Manker for nothing. Actually I don't know why they call me that. Or what it even means.
