Oct 5 2009 Wow: Plane-Mounted Laser Burning A Truck
This is a short video of Boeing and the Air Force testing a plane-mounted laser's ability to burn the everliving shit out of a stationary object during a flyby. Mission accomplished!
This video shows the effect of the high-energy laser beam from the Boeing Advanced Tactical Laser (ATL), fired at a stationary truck from a US Air Force NC-130H (Hercules) flying over White Sands Missile Range, New Mexico, on August 30, 2009. The ATL is a chemical oxygen iodine laser (COIL), and is a scaled-down version of the megawatt-class high-energy laser in the Boeing YAL-1 Airborne Laser (ABL).
Did that say scaled down? Because this thing was powerful enough to set a truck's hood on fire from who knows how far away. Now imagine the much more powerful megawatt laser pointed at your face. You'll have to wear glasses after that for sure!
Thanks to Zach, who has one of these lasers mounted on his arm to heat frozen burritos. Good lookin', Zach, love those things.
Sep 2 2009 Japan To Build An Outerspace Power Plant (To Power The Robots Of The Apocalypse)
Somebody better blast a proton torpedo through this thing's auxiliary exhaust port or it's game over, man. I'm serious too -- if you don't think this thing isn't gonna be powering our metallic harbingers of death, you're delusional. So, yeah, Japan is coughing up $21 billion to have a bigass solar panel floating around in space and sending the energy back to planet urf.
[The power station] will beam enough energy back to Earth to power 294,000 homes. With no cables.
The whole deal is being put together by Mitsubishi Electric Corp. and industrial design company IGI Corp. The plan involves a gigantic solar panel floating around in space, soaking up a gigawatt of energy and beaming it to Earth without the use of cables. And they hope to have it ready to rock within four years.
Wow, you're not gonna wanna get in the way of that energy beam. Because one time I stood in front of a satellite internet dish for too long and 0101001010 10011 00001 01010010 1010 010100111 0101. Whoa, what just happened -- and why are my pants wet?
Japan to Spend $21,000,000,000 on a Power Plant in F%#king Space [gizmodo]
Thanks to Brian and Schmitty, who know the only the only good station in space is a topless service station with a Slush Puppy machine and lots of candy.
Jun 15 2009 Raytheon Gets Contract For Laser Weapon
Raytheon, a company best known for my brother and I both swearing we saw an airplane land on top of one of their buildings in Huntsville, Alabama, has received a Navy contract to draw up the initial design of a powerful burning 100-kW Fee Electron Laser (which may or may not look like an automotive engine) to be mounted on seagoing vessels. Pew pew? No. PEW PEW!
Once designed, the naval operators could adjust the wavelength of the laser, which wasn't possible with conventional lasers. This helps compensate for the varying humidity associated with ship-borne situations.
The laser beams could be used against missiles, airplanes, or even boats.
I need one of these for my car. Seriously, I'm tired of sitting in traffic. And let me tell you, I don't just road rage, I road man-rage. You ever seen a guy tear off his own steering wheel, jam it down an air-conditioning vent and then sob uncontrollably? If you've ridden with me you have.
Navy/Raytheon working on 100kW weaponized laser: cue the 'pew-pew' sound effects [dvice]
Jun 2 2009 PEW PEW!: World's Strongest Laser Unveiled
The world's strongest laser was unveiled in California last week. It's not actually a single laser though, it's 192 individual ones all focused on the same spot. Cheating! It's going to be used to ensure the US nuclear weapon stockpile is still functional in case Russia starts bitching out. Also, some space shit.
The super laser, officially known as the National Ignition Facility, was unveiled Friday before thousands of people at the Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory.
Beginning next year scientists will use the laser for experiments aimed at creating controlled fusion reactions similar to those found in the sun."More energy will be produced by this ignition process than the amount of laser energy required to start it. This is the long-sought goal of energy gain that has been the goal of fusion researchers for more than half a century," said NIF director Edward Moses.
'National Ignition Facility'? That's the worst name ever. Why wasn't there a contest to get to name the thing? Because it'll always be the PEWINATOR to me. Which, haha, is the same thing I named my junk penis. But seriously, don't stare directly at it.
World's strongest laser unveiled at Calif. lab [sfgate]
Thanks to Watch-303, catch22, Luis, Doug, Hunter and Phil, who did stare directly at it and paid the price. $10.
May 29 2009 Geekologie Reader Makes Himself Lightsaber
Geekologie Reader Ike, the same one who successfully played poker on a roller coaster, went and made himself a lightsaber. Although, truthfully, it was modeled after Travis Touchdown's beam katana from No More Heroes. Ike made me promise not to tell you how he made it, but suffice it to say there were lasers and smoke and selling your soul to a sorcerer involved.
Here's a real fun tidbit- with enough money (I think about $600) I could make this sucker burn. That's right! Fully functional lightsaber! It also extends and spins. Woot.
Nice, Ike, I want one. Except mine MUST be of the burning variety. How else am I gonna start a fire while camping -- rubbing two sticks together? Pfft, what do I look like, a cub-scout? I AM ALL MAN-SCOUT! Don't believe me? I've humped bears before. Haha -- admit it, Yogi!
Hit the jump for a couple videos of the saber/katana in action, including one with some Travis Touchdown cosplay.
Continue Reading " Geekologie Reader Makes Himself Lightsaber "
Apr 24 2009 Best Business Cards Ever: Meat Cards
Meat Cards are business cards with your info burnt into them using a 150 watt CO2 laser. They are far superior to card stock for obvious reasons (read: meat and lasers).
Screw die-cutting. Forget about foil, popups, or UV spot lamination. THESE business cards have two ingredients: MEAT AND LASERS.
Unlike other business cards, MEAT CARDS will retain value after the econopocalypse. Hoard and barter your calorie-rich, life-sustaining cards.
Mmmm, meat and lasers: definitely two of the finest ingredients on earth. PEW PEW, NOM NOM! Now, blast me in the eye with your laser pointer right as I swallow. What? Don't judge me.
Thanks to Chloe and Julian for eating all my cards. No, really, thanks a lot guys.
Apr 6 2009 Cool: PEW PEW Laser Fashion PEW PEW
Hussein Chalayan is a fashion *PEW PEW!* designer I've never heard of, but that's *PEW PEW!* okay because there are probably only a handful of names I would *PEW PEW!* recognize anyway. Unlike The Superficial Writer who, *PEW PEW!*, can rattle off their names and collections faster than you a normal man can *PEW PEW!* fire up a chainsaw. In this particular showcase, now to be known as The PEW PEW! Collection, Husssein had engineer Moritz Waldemeyer add servo-driven *PEW PEW!* lasers to the dresses. Nice, guys. As you can see, the *PEW PEW!* dresses are sure to be a big *PEW PEW!* hit at raves. Unfortunately, you may never *PEW PEW!* see one because I'm suing the pants (!) off Chalayan. You see, I burnt my *PEW PEW!* retinas out trying to score an upskirt shot.
Hit the *PEW PEW!* jump for a bunch *PEW PEW!* more.
Apr 5 2009 Let Me Guess, Robots Invented These Too: Little Batteries Powered By Human Blood
It may look like the world's smallest golden wallet, but it's actually a cyborg battery. You see, in the future robots will harvest humans to provide the blood they need to recharge their batteries. Well, happy Sunday to you too!
A small colony of yeast lives inside each battery, and this living core of the fuel cell can draw energy from glucose (sugar) in blood flowing around it. According to New Scientist:
The yeast-based fuel cell produces around 40 nanowatts of power, compared to the microwatt a typical wristwatch battery might produce, Chaio says. That might be enough power for some devices if it were coupled with a capacitor to allow energy to be stored. The yeast could also be genetically engineered to boost its power output.
Great news. No really, that's just wonderful. Currently, scientists are considering the cyborg battery for use in pacemakers and other implantable devices, while robots are considering how much blood they need to power chainsaws and laser blasters. But I'll tell you one thing -- ain't no robotic vampire drilling this neck. Eat oak, Dracu-bot! *tink* Oh shit.
Batteries That Feed on Blood [io9]
Thanks to David, Jon and Jamie, who refuse to donate blood to a damn robot.
Mar 17 2009 Scientists Build Mosquito-Killing Laser Beam
In an attempt to take a bite out of malaria (suck it, McGruff!), scientists are developing a mosquito laser capable of protecting an entire village from the evil, biting bastards. Think bug-zapper times a thousand, to the power of PEW.
The laser, which has been dubbed a "weapon of mosquito destruction" fires at mosquitoes once it detects the audio frequency created by the beating of its wings.
The laser beam then destroys the mosquito, burning it on the spot.Developed by some of the astrophysicists involved in what was known as the "Star Wars" anti-missile programs during the Cold War, the project is meant to prevent the spread of malaria.
Lead scientist on the project, Dr. Jordin Kare, told CNN that the laser would be able to sweep an area and "toast millions of mosquitoes in a few minutes."
Sounds good to me, I hate mosquitoes. I used to post up in front of the bug-zapper in a lawn chair with a case of beer and just watch those suckers get toasted. And speaking of which -- HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY EVERYONE, I'M DRINKING GREEN BEER! Or pickle juice, I can't tell! WHOO!
'Star Wars' scientists create laser gun to kill mosquitoes [cnn]
Thanks to xhaju, Bryan, spudtheimpaler, Jason, Blinzler and Fong, who can catch mosquitoes with chopsticks because they trained with Mr. Miyagi.
Mar 17 2009 PEW PEW Goes The Debt Star
I'm only posting this because I have a contractual obligation to post anything Death Star related. Also, I secretly enjoy watching you folks duke it out in the comments section Special Olympics style. However, in the case of this poster, I believe it actually carries a powerful political message. One about mediocre Photoshop skills, and also, Ewoks. My God they're delicious. "Gunta, che-ya gobu fenga wa!" Haha, shut up and get back on the grill.
Thanks to The Blue Bass, who didn't specify if he was large or smallmouth.
Feb 11 2009 Pfft, Stitches, How About A Little PEW PEW?
In an attempt to prove that not all PEWs are bad PEWs, doctors at Tel Aviv University have developed a laser that is capable of sealing wounds safer and more efficiently than traditional stitches.
The laser allows a wound to be welded shut as opposed to sutured, which makes it far more watertight and there's less tearing. It's done by very carefully controlling the temperature of the beam, and Israeli patients treated with the laser have already enjoyed faster healing times and less scarring.
Cool, but can it still blind you if you stare at it too long? And, if not, can you make me one that can? The bully that lives across the street threw a rock at me when we got off the bus yesterday, and I want to burn his eyes out. Also, his older sister is hot. I want to see her naked. PEW PEW?
Hit the jump for a video of the PEW in action.
Continue Reading " Pfft, Stitches, How About A Little PEW PEW? "
Jan 21 2009 Sure, Why Not?: Dude Laser Etches All The Levels Of Super Mario Land Onto His Eee Pc
Remember Super Mario Land for the Gameboy? Yeah, that shit was hard. Well Flickr user revolvingdork went and laser etched the top of his Eee PC with the entire freaking game.
Everything from the familiar layouts of 1-1 to the climactic battle with Tatanga in the clouds at the end of 4-3 is represented in the etching.
This was made possible with the laser cutter at NYC Resistor in Brooklyn, where you can go to get your laptop etched too!I set the laser in raster mode at 70% speed and 40% power to achieve this look.
There you have it folks, now get out there and laser-etch your laptops! Except for best results I recommend setting the laser for 1% speed and 100% power. Just trust me -- if your computer catches fire, it's working.
Hit the jump for a closeup in which you can really appreciate the detail.
Jul 14 2008 Russian Ravers Go Blind From Laser Show
As many as 29 people may have partial vision loss as the result of a laser light show at an outdoor rave near Moscow last week. Several have experienced vision loss as high as 80 percent.
Attendees said heavy rains forced organizers to erect massive tents for the all-night dance party, and lasers that normally illuminate upwards into the sky were instead partially refracted into the ravers' eyes.
Now don't get me wrong, a person losing their vision is freaking awful, and I hope all those affected by this show can get some kind of help. But the point I'd like to make is this: a laser light show where the possibility of going blind doesn't exist is a crappy laser light show. You might as well hire a kid swinging a flashlight on a string. Seriously though folks, I wish these ravers the best and would like to remind you, the reader, to be careful with your eyes. Like testicles*, you only get two.
*Or ovaries.
Ravers lose sight at Russian laser show [reuters]
Thanks Mark and Romeo, have either one of you ever bitten through a glow-stick? I have, it tasted awful.
Jul 11 2008 UPDATE: Radiohead's New "Video" Shot With Lasers Or Something, I Don't Understand, Am Stupid
So instead of using a camera like a normal band, Radiohead, in all their progression, shot their most recent video for "House of Cards" with lasers or something. I don't freaking know, people, does it look like I understand technology?
The Geometric Informatics scanning system employs structured light to capture detailed 3D images at close proximity, and was used to render the performances of Radiohead's Thom Yorke, the female lead, and several partygoers. The Velodyne Lidar system uses multiple lasers to capture large environments in 3D, in this case 64 lasers rotating and shooting in a 360 degree radius 900 times per minute, capturing all of the exterior scenes and wide party shots.
Uh-huh. Thom York had this to say about the video:
I always like the idea of using technology in a way that it wasn't meant to be used, the struggle to get your head round what you can do with it. I liked the idea of making a video of human beings and real life and time without using any cameras, just lasers, so there are just mathematical points-- and how strangely emotional it ended up being.
Uh-huh. You know, I've been emotionally attached to a laser before, and let me tell you what -- incredible lover. I'm talking burning passion. And, okay, pubes.
That's a screenshot there, and there are several more after the jump.
UPDATE: Two videos added after the jump. One is the music video, the other a "making of" video. Go here to play the video and manipulate it in real time using a visualization program.
Jun 5 2008 Boeing Tested New 25 kW Laser While I Hid Under My Bed And Waited To Blow Up
Boeing recently tested their new 25 kilowatt solid-state laser, which is a step in the direction of a future 100 kW (keep in mind the Death Star was only packing something like 80 kW*) ray that will blow up the whole world and possibly Mars and Venus (which, honestly, is a shitty planet that we're better off without).
The thin-disk laser is an initiative to demonstrate that solid-state laser technologies are now ready to move out of the laboratory and into full development as weapon systems. Solid-state lasers are powered by electricity, making them highly mobile and supportable on the battlefield.
A high-power solid-state laser will damage, disable or destroy targets at the speed of light, with little to no collateral damage, supporting missions on the battlefield and in urban operations.
Okay, I have no idea what that means because I'm not a scientist (I'm just a guy who looks sexy as hell in a white lab coat), but I think what they're saying is you shouldn't stare directly at it.
*I made that up so don't email me complaining about how the Death Star's superlaser was like 50,000 billion kW
Boeing Successfully Fires 25 kW Solid-State Lasers, Laser Weapons One Step Closer to Being a Reality [gizmodo]
