Jun 16 2009 This Tastes Like Poison: Japan's Robot-Chefs
Japanese companies unveiled several new models of robotic-chefs at the recent Tokyo International Food Machinery and Tech Expo., and I, for one, am never eating out again. Kidding, ladies. Here's a breakdown of the video:
0:00 - 0:18: Pancake cooking robot sucks at flipping.
0:19 - 0:25: Robot sympathizer sympathizes with robots. You will not be saved.
0:26 - 0:39: Creepy looking realistic hand robot serves sushi, your fingers.
0:40 - 0:46: Depressed, engineer is depressed.
0:47 - 0:54: Crooked hat robot pleasures itself furiously with cucumber.
0:55 - 1:07: Segway-ass looking robot roofies your drink on it's way from the bar.
There you have it, I'm officially only eating PB&J sandwiches with ingredients processed in non-robotic factories. And if you think I'm joking you've got another thing coming. Namely, *POW* -- my fist.
Thanks to calluless, get100pens, This Is Me Posting, Kai, Marcy, Daniel, 24-bit whore, Julian, Jawn and Draw, who would rather starve to death than eat robot-food.
Jun 2 2009 Mmmm: Poisonous Snake-Bitten Chicken
Apparently poisonous snake-bitten chicken is a popular dish in a parts of China, but it's coming under the heat for being cruel and unusual deliciousness.
Chinese health authorities are putting a stop to restaurants serving chickens which have been bitten to death by poisonous snakes and cooked up for a supposedly detoxing meal.
The dish, served by a small number of eateries in the southern province of Guangdong and the southwestern city of Chongqing, has generated a storm of publicity and controversy in the Chinese media and amongst bloggers.
Wow, that's pretty effed up. Like eating dried tiger penis just so you can pop a boner -- but with even more snake. HIYO!
China puts a stop to snake-bitten cock-in-a-pot [yahoonews]
Thanks to Ken, who once bit a poisonous snake's head off and sucked the venom out just for the hell of it.
Apr 30 2009 Highly Questionable, Volatile: Robot Milk
I have no idea what the hell robot milk is (likely poison), but it looks thicker than the BBW in my fetish mag. Also, how the hell does one go about procuring robot milk? Because if it's anything like milking a bull, the The Superficial Writer wants in.
Robot Milk [friggingrandom]
Thanks to Bo, who once milked a goat and then made goat cheese and sold it at a farmer's market. Good looking, Bo.
Mar 16 2009 Real Life Spider-Man: Paralyzed Man Walks Again Thanks To Brown Recluse Spider Bite
David Blancarte lost the use of his legs nearly 21 years ago in a motorcycle accident. And now, thanks to the bite of brown recluse, he can walk again.
I'm here for a spider bite. I didn't know I would end up walking," says David.
A nurse noticed David's leg spasm and ran a test on him. "When they zapped my legs, I felt the current, I was like 'whoa' and I yelled," he says. He felt the current and the rush of a renewed sense of hope. "She says,'your nerves are alive. They're just asleep'," explained David.Five days later David was walking.
David basks in his glory and gives a ray of hope to other hoping to walk again. The 48-year-old former boxer and dancer is taking it in stride, knowing his best days are still ahead.
David's dream is to see his 14-year-old twin daughters grow up and get married so he can walk them down the aisle and have that first dance.
Well ain't that some cockle-warming Peter Parker/John Locke shit! To tell you the truth, I haven't been having much luck with my manhood lately, and I did see a black widow out by my treefort yesterday....
IT BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURNS!!!
UPDATE: And it just fell off. Great.
Hit the jump for a news report video for those of you who can't read.
