May 28 2009 The Worst And Saddest Of Yahoo! Answers

Okay, this one is actually legit, but everything after the jump isn't. They're the kind of questions that make you want to bathe with a toaster (or SPOILER ALERT: poisonous jellyfish). I assume some of them are fake, but I sadly guarantee a good portion are serious. And, well, *pouring out a little liquor* it's been real, humanity.

Hit it for a dozen or so of the worst questions ever asked.

Continue Reading " The Worst And Saddest Of Yahoo! Answers "

Nov 20 2008 Must Read: Man Caught Red Handed And Hairy Palmed With Bottle Of Pasta Sauce

Hell no this doesn't have anything to do with gadgets or gizmos, but it is awesome. In a "boy, I'm really glad I'm not that guy" kind of way. Long story short: a man pleasuring himself with a jar of pasta sauce led cops on a low speed chase in Australia. Long story long:

A man caught near Nobbys (!!) Beach with his penis in a pasta sauce jar led police on a 20 km/h car chase, Newcastle Local Court heard yesterday.

Police drew their weapons when they suspected Keith Roy Weatherley, 46, was armed. Instead, they found him partially clothed with his genitals in a jar, a police statement said.

The chase lasted five to 10 minutes, with a top speed of just 20 km/h, before Weatherley was stopped at Centenary Drive, Newcastle. He refused to leave the car.

Four officers used batons and capsicum spray to remove him.

They found a 750-millilitre jar around his penis and noted that Weatherley attempted to continue "pleasuring himself in between bouts of wrestling".

A search of his car uncovered pornography, a home-made sex aid, women's stockings and a Jack Russell terrier.

Wow, continuing to pleasure yourself while wrestling with the cops. That's....well that's just ballsy (ZING!). And I don't even want to discuss the contents of his car. But what I do want to discuss is what kind of pasta jar he was using. And also, was there still sauce in it? Traditional tomato-based or alfredo? Did he add pesto? I bet he added pesto.

Man caught with penis in pasta jar [theherald]

Thanks to Matt, who insists hot sauce bottles are where it's at. Thanks buddy, my penis just spontaneously combusted.

Aug 15 2008 Some Maroons Still Believe The Earth Is Flat

Idiots in the Flat Earth Society are still convinced the world is flat and lead-based paint is part of a well-balanced diet.

People are definitely prejudiced against flat-Earthers," Tennessee-based computer scientist and society member John Davis tells the BBC. "Many use the term 'flat-Earther' as a term of abuse, and with connotations that imply blind faith, ignorance or even anti-intellectualism."

Don't breed!

"The Earth is, more or less, a disc," states James McIntyre, a Briton who helps run the Flat Earth Society's Web site. "Obviously it isn't perfectly flat, thanks to geological phenomena like hills and valleys. It is around 24,900 miles in diameter."

"The North Pole is central, and Antarctica comprises the entire circumference of the Earth," explains McIntyre. "Circumnavigation is a case of traveling in a very broad circle across the surface of the Earth."

Flat Earthers also believe the moon landing and photos of earth from space were faked, which is only true in the case of the moon landing. But what I don't get is: if Antarctica surrounds the entire circumference of the earth, what's on the other side of that? Is it all ice? Is it candy land? Is it the dark side of the earth? Does my doppelgänger live there? Do you think he blogs too? If I meet him will I really die? Can I dig a hole to the other side and find out? Will you help? Come on, I'll show you my tits.

Believers In Flat Earth Not About to Change Minds [foxnews]

Thanks to Sam, who's smart enough to know the world is a cone.