Jun 4 2009 Playstation Announces Own Motion Controller
Not to be outdone by XBox's announcement of Project Natal, Playstation brought their own motion controller news to E3. But, unlike Project Natal, which motion captures your entire body, the Playstation version relies on a magic dildo. This is a rather long demonstration of the device presented by two Sony engineers (one nervous, one stoned), so feel free to skip around. But not breakfast, that shit's important.
Thanks to Mister J, who once kicked Mister T's ass in a gold-off.
May 4 2009 X-Rays Of Video Game Controllers & Consoles
Flickr user Reintji went and took a bunch of x-rays of video game consoles and controllers, from both today and yesteryear. And also, the future. Just kidding, no future. If time machines existed you'd know it because I'd be writing steamy romance novels about the time I banged a dinosaur but was left only partially satisfied because the third member of our ménage à trois got eaten by a Megalosaurus on the way to the party. So yeah, what I just said. Boom, great tie-in.
Hit the jump for a whole bunch more (use file names for identification) and a link to the full Flickr gallery.
Continue Reading " X-Rays Of Video Game Controllers & Consoles "
Mar 13 2009 Killzone Ads Pulled From Canadian Bus Stops
Over 300 Toronto bus stops have had their Killzone 2 ads pulled due to the violent imagery present.
Teacher Davis Mirza emailed Sony Canada, which makes PlayStation games, after seeing an ad for Killzone 2 in the bus shelter near his Scarborough school.
"My kids, who come from a lot of different countries, who have to experience violence, who basically come here to seek shelter and safety, that's the stuff they don't need to see," said the Grade 4/5 teacher at Pauline Johnson Junior Public School, near Birchmount Rd. and Sheppard Ave. E.The central image in the ad is a "menacing head with glowing eyes," wearing a mask with a breathing tube, Mirza said.
The secondary image shows what appears to be a war zone, "like Iraq," he said.
Hmm, I didn't read about any actual kids complaining. Live in reality, Mr. Mirza -- the apocalypse is coming. Would you rather have our children prepared, or cowering in a corner? And speaking of cowering in a corner: the end of Blair Witch Project -- scary.
Violent video game ads pulled from bus shelters [thstar]
Thanks to Ryan, who had to stop advertising his sexual services because his female customers were too satisfied.
Mar 4 2009 Game Over Man, Game Over!: An Aliens PS3
Tattoo artist and casemoder 'givintats' went and made himself an Aliens inspired PS3 case. It was created "using hand-sculpted layers of epoxy putty, that looks like a hard metal when dried, often used to mend dented car fenders." Nice. And is there anything more awesome than an Aliens PS3? Yes, an Aliens PS3 that can play XBox games. Did your head just explode by my suggestion of awesomeness? It's true, I have the power of suggestive thought. Don't believe me? You should take your shirt off right now. Wait -- damnit, hold on. You should put your shirt back on. Now, ladies only -- you should take your shirt off right now. Awh yeah! Hypnotics, baby -- I have them. Now touch your nipple.
Hit the jump for two more shots.
Continue Reading " Game Over Man, Game Over!: An Aliens PS3 "
Feb 25 2009 Excessive Gaming Can Cause Skin Sores
That's right folks, too much gaming can give you the stink-palm, according to a recent article in the British Journal of Dermatology. Of course, the disorder (Playstation palmar hidradenitis) may be based entirely on the single case of a 12-year old girl.
Doctors who examined her at the Geneva University Hospital concluded she had a condition known as 'idiopathic eccrine hidradenitis', a skin disorder that generally causes red, sore lumps on the palms of the hands and soles of the feet.
The doctors suspect that the problem was caused by tight and continuous grasping of the console's hand-grips, and repeated pushing of the buttons, alongside sweating caused by the tension of the game.
The unsightly lumps went away after 10 days of gaming abstinence. Now listen folks: if reddened palms are the only negative effect of your excessive gaming, be thankful. After all, you've still got your social life, right? Right?
Game consoles 'cause skin sores' [bbcnews]
Thanks to Shelley, Becky, JMR and Tank, who have no fear of developing Playstation palmar hidradenitis because they only play XBox.
Feb 18 2009 Smell Gamey? You Need Playstation Soap
So check it: you smell like ass. I'm serious, you're reeking up the interwebz. You need to get yourself some $5 Playstation controller soap from Etsy seller Digitalsoaps. Looking for something a little old schooler? No problem, they sell $8 NES controller bars as well, in such exotic flavors as pink sugar, juicy watermelon, apple jack and peel, coconut lime verbena, dragon's blood, and unicorn's semen. On a side note, when I get ripe my pits smell like really onion-y chili-cheese dogs. Your musk is different. But I like your natural pheromones. I think I'm attracted to you. Kiss me. Did you feel any chemistry? I felt some. It felt like your boob. I copped a feel!
Hit the jump to see the NES controller soap.
Aug 17 2007 Fake Video Game Consoles
Some store in a Mexican mall is selling video game consoles in boxes that look alarmingly similar to the XBox 360 and Playstation 3. Except they're called the X-Game 360 and Powerstation 3 (why not go all the way and just use the same name?). Apparently, soon to be unhappy customers will find an 8-bit NES type system in the box. The price tag in the picture is allegedly in pesos, so you'd only be out $25 if you did bite. This reminds me I should probably try to cancel the Mentendo Wee and A-hole iPoo I ordered off the website. I knew their deals sounded too good to be true.
Fake Video Game Consoles [Maxconsole]
