Jul 24 2009 Hello Kitty Stormtrooper Spotted At Comic Con

Because it's Friday, I'm making two Star Wars posts in a row and you are going to like it. Go on, admit it -- you like it. I KNEW IT! I'm telling everybody. Also, that you're a terrible kisser.

When people with booths at the Comic Con decide that making a pink Hello Kitty stormtrooper is a good idea, there is no doubt that the evil feline has clawed her way into the imagination of far too many people for the the world to be safe.

I don't know, I kind of like it. And by kind of like it I mean you show up at my doorstep wearing that and I don't care if you're swinging a Bantha-sized lightsaber between your legs, I AM ALL SYSTEMS GO.

Hello Kitty Pink Stormtrooper [hellokittyhell]

Thanks to towhee, who just wishes it came with a gun.

Jun 24 2009 Yikes!: How To Make Gundam Even Scarier

Like this. Just look at those hands *shivers*. That's not Gundam, that's Gunmadam. Happy ending: DO NOT WANT.

Hit the jump for an action pose.

Continue Reading " Yikes!: How To Make Gundam Even Scarier "

Mar 4 2009 Cat Truck Designed To Pick Up Girls

This is a 1998 Dodge Truck that some guy heavily modded to look like a giant pink cat. A veritable kitty-magnet, if you will. It's currently for sale in Central Ottawa, Canada for $10K.

I have a dodge truck cut in half to make this cat mobile. It has a turbo charger, air intake, neons, aftermarket exhaust, headers and a cat body kit. Made to pick up GIRLS, THEY LOVE IT.

Of course they do. Wait -- didn't I see you circling the middle school?

1998 Dodge [usedottawa]

Thanks to Chris, who picks up chicks the way God intended: with a giant claw.

Mar 3 2009 Cool!: Albino Dolphin Spotted In The Wild

A pink bottlenose dolphin was spotted swimming in Lake Calcasieu in Louisiana. It is believed to be the only of its kind.

'The mammal is entirely pink from tip to tail and has reddish eyes indicating it's albinism. The skin appears smooth, glossy pink and without flaws. I have spotted it about 40 to 50 times in the time since the original sighting as it has apparently taken up residence with its family in the Calcasieu Ship Channel.

'As time has passed he has grown and sometimes ventures away from its mother to feed and play but always remains in the vicinity of the pod.

'Surprisingly, it does not appear to be drastically affected by the environment or sunlight as might be expected considering its condition, although it tends to remain below the surface a little more than the others in the pod.'

ZOMG, how cute! And by cute I mean pink. I LOVE PINK DOLPHINS! Look, I just drew one and slid it into the cover of my Trapper Keeper. What can I say, I'm sensitive. And also, hungry. Did somebody say sushi? My stomach did! And also, "the number you are trying to reach has been disconnected". Shit, I ate my phone!

Hit the jump for two more of the magical beast.

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Feb 26 2009 Oooh, Shiny: A Non-Reversing Mirror

Finally, I can sleep peacefully at night.

Hicks, a mathematician at Drexel University, Philadelphia, used computer algorithms to generate the mirror's bizarre surface, which curves and bends in different directions. The curves direct rays from an object across the mirror's face before sending them back to the viewer, flipping the conventional mirror image.

Awesome. I want them installed on the ceiling above my bed. Because then, wait -- it would still look me making love to myself, wouldn't it? Damn.

Reflecting on a new generation of mirrors [newscientist]
and a cool gallery of
Anamorphic Art [newscientist]

Thanks to twellve, who doesn't need a non-reversing mirror because she stopped wearing eyeliner when he found out it was tested on bunnies.

Dec 9 2008 Sure, Why Not?: A Keyboard For Blondes

The Keyboard For Blondes is a real $50 product. What makes it for blondes? Well, it has some questionably clever keys in place of the standard ones, comes complete with audio, and a lovely pink coloration.

The all-pink keyboard swaps out standard keys with funnier, dumber key names. The backspace key now says "Oops!" and the entire row of function keys spells out USELESS KEYS. Hit the "$" sign and you get the sound of a cash register clinking.

Blondes can even get a little technical and use special keys that type out "OMG," "ALI" (Absolutely Love It!) or "XOXO." My favorite? The caps lock key now says: "Warning! size XXL letters."

ZOMG, too funny! Go here to see a high-res picture of the peripheral, then stab yourself for even thinking about buying it for somebody. Then buy it for somebody. Then stab yourself again for pissing away $50. Then return it. Then bandage yourself up for doing the right thing. Alternatively, I'll wear a blonde wig while we're having sex and you can call me dumb. Haha, no sneaking in the ass!

Product Page
via
OMG! It's a Keyboard for Blondes [msn]

Thanks to Romeo, Crystal and Jeff, who don't need keyboards because they can all type with their minds. Or voice recognition software, whatever.

Sep 10 2008 Further Proof: Money Doesn't Buy Class

Thought the gold Porsche and Burberry Maserati were bad? How about a pink camo Bugatti Veyron? I know, I think I just shat in my mouth a little too. The Veyron (and green camo Rolls Royce Phantom after the jump!) are both owned by Nigo, the ban behind Japanese clothing line Bathing Ape. Fortunately, if there is such a thing as fortune in this case, the eye poison is actually the result of vinyl wraps (like the Maserati) so you can rip the hideous off before you sell it to someone else. Man, I can't wait till I'm a rich a-hole with no class. I've already got classless asshole down pat, now I just need the rich. I'm coming for you, bank!

Hit the jump for the camo Rolls and an unrelated camo Porsche.

Continue Reading " Further Proof: Money Doesn't Buy Class "

Feb 13 2008 WTF!?: Pimped Out Powder Room Contest By Roto Rooter Is, Hell If I Know -- Awesome?

Unbeknownst to me, Roto-Rooter (the toilet unclogging company) gave away a pimped out man-bathroom last year. It had a beer tap and 42" flatscreen and all this other stuff that is mandatory for a room that you shower and shit in. Well, to keep up with the hip 20-something crowd they're doing it again, this time for the ladies. Drumroll please: The Pimp My Powder Room Contest by Roto-Rooter! You can enter everyday online at their website for a chance to win. It includes all the must haves for a bathroom like a coffee maker, laptop, iPod touch, Nintendo Wii, flatscreen/mirror combo, new shitter, foot bath, virtual window and more. OMG, this thing is totally mine. I came into this ready to make fun of it, but I actually need all these things in my bathroom. I'm even digging the pretty princess pink color scheme. Hey I'm just saying...oh my god I sprouted a vagina!

That being said, I've tried to play Wii from the john before, and it isn't easy. I was getting into a pretty intense tennis battle on Wii sports when a particularly strong backhand sent me reeling off the commode and onto the floor, where, yeah, #2.

Roto-Rooter's "Pimped out Powder Room" sports a Wii, needs a bigger TV [engadget]

Feb 11 2008 The Hello Kitty AR-15 Is Just So Damn Cute

A man modded an AR-15 with a custom paintjob to produce one of the cutest guns I've ever seen -- the Hello Kitty AR-15. As you can see it's pink and looks really good. But only in a "I'm totally secure with my manliness" kind of way. And to prove myself I just bit the head off a squirrel. See, all man damnit. That being said, I'm going to start sleeping with one of these instead of my old stuffed bear. Which, incidentally, is a grizzly I choked to death with my bare hands.

Several more pictures after the jump, including a break down and some firing shots.

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Jan 18 2008 Female Nether Regions Couch Is Way Icky

Willow, an artist who lives in Mendocino recently put up an ad on Craigslist trying to sell the vagina couch she made in art school. It's 5'3" long, 3'3" wide and she's asking $600 for the whole snatch. I just bought it, but I should have read the description closer because she notes that it "has some scuffmarks and stains around the bottom". Story of my life right there, always getting the scuffed and stained vaginas. Oh well, guess it's still better than a penis.

Uncensored pics after the jump. Woowoo, upholstered vagina!

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