Nov 20 2009 Holy Grail? You Decide: A Bacon Chalice
I can't even imagine weaving bacon so tight as to not let liquid (well, molten cheese) through, but apparently somebody did. My hat oven mitts are off to you, bacon mug maker. Cause one time I tried weaving bacon and it didn't even make a solid placemat. It did, however, make a solid after-school snack. Kidding, I'm vegetarian. Did you feel that? That was your head imploding.
Bacon Beer Mug [thisisfreakingridiculous]
Thanks to Profound, mike469x, Dominican Joe, Freedom and KilgoreTrout XL, one of which is Kurt Vonnegut's plus-size alter-ego, the other three of which are fighting over who gets to eat the cup.
Nov 15 2009 This Little Piggy Went To The Post Office: Bacon Flavored Envelopes For Meatier Mail
I think we all knew this day would come: Envelopes with bacon-flavored adhesive. Geez, these are almost as clever as my invention: nipple flavored envelopes. Which, I think you and I both know is the closest your tongue will ever come.
J&D's, the makers of Bacon Salt and Baconnaise, isn't kidding when they say everything should taste like bacon: They just announced Mmmvelopes, bacon-flavored envelopes. $6.99 for 25 bacon-flavored #10 envelopes, $14.99 for 3 packs of 25...."No longer will envelopes taste like the underside of your car. You can enjoy the taste of delicious bacon instead."
Now I know what you're thinking, "but how do I keep myself from eating them?" THEY'RE PAPER YOU IDIOTS. Yeah I have no idea.
Mmmvelopes: Bacon-Flavored Envelopes from the Makers of Bacon Salt and Baconnaise [eatmedaily]
Thanks to Mih0, who invented chocolate-flavored envelopes a long time ago but that ruthless cocoa mogul Wonka stole his idea.
Apr 30 2009 Surgical Masks: Fight The Swine Flu In Style
Let's face it, we're all gonna get the swine flu and die. But we can at least stave off infection for as long as possible and look stylish at the same time. Enter Yoriko Yoshida's (links to artists portfolio with tons and tons more) stylin' and profilin' surgical masks, each printed with a unique design. I call this one 'Octostache'. Hit the jump for a bunch more, but be sure to check out Yoriko's page to see them all. Then, get to designing your own. Or, alternatively, meet me in my underground bunker. I ain't going out because some jerk couldn't keep his penis in his pants at the petting zoo!
Yoriko Yoshida's Portfolio
via
Stylish surgical masks by Yoriko Yoshida [pinktentacle]
Thanks to Margo the Jeweler, who made one with gold and diamonds. It's so sparkly!
Continue Reading " Surgical Masks: Fight The Swine Flu In Style "
Apr 27 2009 Tracking The Swine Flu With Google Maps
You can now track the swine flu with Google Maps by going HERE. If a marker appears in your town, and you're a chick, take naked pictures of yourself and email them to me for verification I don't care what you do if you're a dude, but no naked pictures, please. Also, I'm a little pissed at whoever started this damn flu pandemic in the first place. I'm looking at you, bacon hater. THE PORK GOD DEMANDS APPEASEMENT!
Thanks to Romeo and Frank B., who would much prefer the chicken pox.
Apr 16 2009 Impressive Stop Motion: Wolf Vs Pig
I'm sure this sort of thing has been done before (OLD!) but that doesn't make the feat any less impressive. Or fun to watch. Which is why I'm posting it. I DON'T NEED YOUR PERMISSION! Well, what do you say, can I? Haha, I meant touch your boobs!
At first I photographed stop motion animation. And I displayed the photographs in my room and photographed it again. Enjoy a connection with the world of the room and the world in the photograph.
I tried to count the number of photos used to make the video, but I lost track around a trillion. And yes, as a matter of fact that does make me the world's highest counter. Seriously, this shit's the chronic.
Thanks to twellve, who once dressed up in a sheep costume, but I knew it was still her. You can't fool me, twellve!
Mar 25 2009 Canned Bacon: Perfect For Stocking Your Robot/Zombie Shelter. Also, Snacking
Canned bacon. Undoubtedly the best course of The Last Supper, Yoder brand canned bacon can now be yours. Plus, it comes in sweet-ass camo cans. Hey, where'd my bacon go?!?
For the first time in almost 20 years, canned bacon is back in this Country. Not available in any store!
More than 2 years went into the development of this bacon, and we're proud to be able to bring this back to you after improving on a what was a very successful brand of canned bacon made years ago by Celebrity Foods (registered Trademark, all rights reserved).Each can is 9 ounces of fully cooked and drained bacon. Between 2-3/4 and 3-1/4 pounds of raw bacon go into each can. Each can is the highest quality fresh #1 bacon slices. Cured to our specifications, cooked and then hand wrapped, rolled and packed in the U.S.
My God that sounds delicious. A single can will set you back $12, but that's not really bad considering it's 3 pounds of cooked bacon and will stay fresh for over 10 years. You know -- this might very well be the most delicious thing to ever come in a can. Well, besides this. Here, open it. *POW POW!* Haha, that was Geekologie brand Whoop Ass, bitch!
Hit the jump for a photo-uncanning.
Continue Reading " Canned Bacon: Perfect For Stocking Your Robot/Zombie Shelter. Also, Snacking "
Mar 13 2009 I Really Want One: Porkgasm In A Pan
Porkgasm: a pig roast made entirely out of meat -- just like the real thing! And *sniff* probably the most beautiful thing I've ever wanted to put in my mouth. Ha, except for that Fabergé egg. Delicious and nutritious gold.
Hit the jump for a pictorial of how to make a Porkgasm.
Jan 12 2009 Move Over Bacon-Cheese Roll, There's A New Heartstopping Sherriff In Town: The Bacon Explosion Will Kill You Dead
HIT THE JUMP TO SEE THE DELICIOUS BACON-EXPLOSION MAKING PROCESS!
If you thought the bacon-cheese roll was bad, you need to check out the Bacon Explosion. This bacon-y treat is so dangerously delicious it'll make your freaking heart explode and still have your corpse begging for a second helping. It's basically a bacon weave made out of a pound of bacon, filled with 2 pounds of Italian sausage and another pound of bacon. And, if you can't tell by the way I'm ogling my monitor, it's making me amorous. I think it's time for another haiku.
Bacon ExplosionI want you in me badly
Call an ambulance
And that, my friends, is how you woo your dinner. To the bedroom my bacon-y goddess -- it's time to pork!
Hit the jump for a bunch of pictures of the process and a link to the in-depth recipe.
Jan 5 2009 Mmmm, Piggy: Bacon (Gum)Balls
Let's face it, women find nothing hotter than kissing a man whose breath smells like bacon. It not only indicates great wealth, but a refined palate and good sense of meat. So, before your next match of tonsil tennis, how about hitting a few bacon balls? Two 22-balled tins will set you back $7. Alternatively, this 3-balled ten will set you back $40 (extra for really freaky deaky shit). Book soon ladies, my evenings fill up quick.
Thanks to Manwai, who once blew a 40-gumball bubble and used it to float to Baconland.
Dec 11 2008 Pfft, Hearts Are Overrated Anyways
If God wasn't too busy spiting me every morning, he'd eat this shit for breakfast.
Hit the jump for a picture of the finished product.
Nov 18 2008 How To: Make Your Own Bacon Ice Cream
Mmmm. If there's one thing that makes a geek, it's having never seen a boob in real life. If there's two, it's a penchant for Mountain Dew and bacon. Am I right? *high five* WOO! Still haven't seen a titty. Maybe someday. But damn do I pound some Dew. And, when the mood strikes me, bacon. Well now you can make your own delicious candied bacon ice cream by following the simple instructions over at David Lebovitz's website. I don't really want to go into details, but for you stoners out there: it's a little more complicated than just adding Bac~O's to vanilla ice cream. Which, ZOMG, is totally about to happen!
Candied Bacon Ice Cream Recipe [davidlebovitz]
Thanks to Dan, who once ate partially cooked bacon off a stripper's ass but felt sick afterward.
Aug 5 2008 Wake Up To Meat: The Wake N' Bacon
The Wake n' Bacon is a collaborative alarm clock design by Matty Sallin, Daniel Bartolini and Hsiao-huh Hsu. It wakes you up with the delicious scent of bacon instead of beeping. How?
A frozen strip of bacon is placed in Wake n' Bacon the night before. Because there is a 10 minute cooking time, the clock is set to go off 10 minutes before the desired waking time. Once the alarm goes off, the clock it sends a signal to a small speaker to generate the alarm sound. We hacked the clock so that the signal is re-routed by a microchip that in responds by sending a signal to a relay that throws the switch to power two halogen lamps that slow-cook the bacon in about 10 minutes.
Simple as that. No loud noises, no breaking your alarm, just delicious bacon. Now what you need to do is keep a mini-fridge by the bed so you can toss in another piece, hit snooze, and ten minutes later, more bacon. Toss in another piece, hit snooze, and ten minutes later, more bacon. Toss in another piece, hit snooze, and ten minutes later, more bacon. Toss in another piece, hit snooze, and ten minutes later you can't see your penis past your pork-gut anymore because you've been eating two pounds of bacon every morning.
Thanks Mac and Liz, now make one that can cook an egg and biscuit too.
Jul 25 2008 This Is What Happens...
When your neighbors are a nuclear power plant.
The Chinese pig, dubbed 'Monkey Face', is apparently healthy despite being fugly as hell and having extra long back legs that cause it to hop around instead of walk. I gotta admit though, it's cuter than my sister's new baby.
Hit the jump to see the uncensored picture and be scarred and saddened.
Jun 25 2008 Wilbur Would Be Outraged: Pig Earbuds
Pig earbuds cost $12 and makes it look like a little dachshund/pig hybrid has burrowed through your head whenever you listen to music. I guess they're probably more for chicks. Or maybe guys that need a conversation starter. What the hell, I'll try anything twice.
Chick on the bus: "Hey, are those pig earbuds?"
Me: "HUH?"
Chick on the bus: "I SAID, ARE THOSE PIG EARBUDS?"
Me: "Hell yeah, you like 'em?"
Chick on the bus: "You look like a freaking idiot."
Me: "I am one!"
Pigbuds: 'cause your ears are purty too [engadget]
and
I Want Pig Ear Phones From Japan [rinkya]
Thanks Ray and Laurel, they're kind of growing on me now.
May 27 2008 Finger-Regrowing 'Pixie Dust' Is At It Again
Remember the story we posted about the man who regrew the tip of his finger after having it cut off in a model airplane propeller? Yeah, that guy totally shouldn't have been allowed to work in a hobby store. Well now the infamous "pixie dust" is being used again -- this time in an attempt to regrow a soldier's finger that was lost in a bomb attack.
A key to the research dedicated to regrowing fingers and other body parts is a powder, nicknamed "pixie dust" by some of the people at Brooke Army Medical Center. It's made from tissue extracted from pigs.The surgery is part of a major new medical study of "regenerative medicine" being pursued by the Pentagon and several of the nation's top medical facilities, including the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center and the Cleveland Clinic. So far nearly $250 million has been dedicated to the research.
Awesome. I guess the only remaining question I have about this treatment is this: How ethical is it to cut off you junx and hope to regrow a bigger one?
Salamander-inspired therapy may aid injured vets [cnn]
Go here if you want to watch a graphic video about the procedure.
Thanks Patrick, lets steal Tinkerbell's fairy dust so we can fly
Apr 30 2008 For Real: Man Regrows Finger With Pixie Dust
Lee Spievak cut his finger off and then regrew it using pixie dust.
"I put my finger in," Mr. Spievak says, pointing towards the propeller of a model airplane, "and that's when I sliced my finger off."
Wow, Lee, wow. Reminds me of the time I stuck my tongue in an oscillating fan.
Today though, you wouldn't know it. Mr Spievak, who is 69 years old, shows off his finger, and it's all there, tissue, nerves, nail, skin, even his finger print. How? Well that's the truly remarkable part. It wasn't a transplant. Mr Spievak re-grew his finger tip. He used a powder - or pixie dust as he sometimes refers to it while telling his story. Mr Speivak's brother Alan - who was working in the field of regenerative medicine - sent him the powder.
The pixie dust, or more appropriately "pigsy dust", is actually made by scraping the cells from the inside of a pig's bladder, treating them with acid, and turning them into a powder. In addition to smelling like urine, the magical substance can regrow fingers lost in the propellers of model airplanes. Scientists hope that within 10 years we will be able to regrow arms and legs. Cool, scientists, but let's think outside the box for a second. How about you grow me a sweet pair of wings or a tail? That's what I want. Seriously though, I'm a little skeptical about this whole thing. I smoked a little angel dust once and I didn't grow a penis out of my forehead. I just felt like there were worms burrowing under my skin.
An uncensored picture of dude's severed finger (GRAPHIC), along with a link to the BBC article (which includes videos), after the jump.
Continue Reading " For Real: Man Regrows Finger With Pixie Dust "
Apr 29 2008 The OctoDog Slices Wieners, Is Really Cute
OctoDog is a $16 kitchen utensil that slices hot dogs into a fun octopus shape (the eyes even poke eye holes in the dog). It's totally freaking awesome. Because, if there's one thing I learned growing up, it's that hot dogs are made of pig lips and assholes and only taste right if they're in the shape of an eight-legged sea creature. Hit the jump for a bunch more pictures of what you can do with your newfound hot dog friends as well as an instructional video on how to use the slicer. Just a word of warning though: DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT purchase one of these if you're a man and currently cheating on your wife/girlfriend. Or if you just fight regularly and she has ever made any sort of threat to "slice your pecker up". If that's the case you should probably even delete your browser history and cookies so there's no chance she'll ever see this thing.
Worthwhile pictures and a video after the jump.
Continue Reading " The OctoDog Slices Wieners, Is Really Cute "
Apr 23 2008 Bacon Scarf Sadly Tastes Like Fleece
If there's one thing I learned repeatedly while growing up it's that a dog can and will bite your genitals if you have a piece of bacon in your pocket. So how's a boy supposed to get his daily bacon quota without rocking a pork pocket? Simply -- with a bacon scarf. Each is made from 100% recycled bottle fleece and costs $38 (plus $7 shipping). You know, I may get one closer to winter, but it's just now getting warm out so I can't think about scarves right now. But what I can think about are summer dresses. You catch my drift guys?. *wink, wink* You do know what I'm saying, right? Good, now tell me if I should wear my black flats or brown leather pumps with this one.
Thanks to Mallory, who is new to Geekologie, for the tip. Everyone give her a warm welcome -- but stay away from the snacks, those are for after the meeting.
Apr 8 2008 Bleeehhh!: You Don't Even Want To Know
Okay, since the baby chocolates turned out to be a hoax, submitter beefytee decided to really ramp up the creepy, disturbing factor to an 11 with this tip. If you've recently eaten lunch or are about to, save reading it for later.
Placenta 10000 is a jelly drink. With placenta. Pig placenta. 10,000 mg worth (hence the name). I just puked in my mouth. Now it's dribbling out onto the keyboard.
Placenta is said to have regenerative properties, especially concerning beauty, and can help with dieting as well. At about $8 per drink, it's expensive, but Japanese aren't exactly known for sacrificing their health and looks for a couple of bucks either.
If 10,000 mg/serving just doesn't cut it for your placenta-loving pallet, they have a Placenta 400,000 concentrate (on the left in the picture) so you can make...Ms. Piggy... bleeeehhhh!!...cocktails.
Placenta 10000 jelly drink is FOSHU for beauty [cscout]
Thanks to beefytee and his incredible steak shirt for the tip
Mar 10 2008 Maple-Bacon Lollipops Contain Both Maple Syrup And Bacon, Aren't Kosher
Maple Bacon Lollipops are maple sugar based pops with real pieces of "sustainable, organic, cured bacon." They come to us from the same great purveyors that brought us Absinthe Lollipops. They run $10 for 4, $24 for 12, and $52 for 36. Apparently they're the "perfect gift for the sweet-toothed pork aficionado in your life." Unfortunately, there is no sweet-toothed pork lover in my life. Just a buck-toothed porker.
