Sep 20 2009 Meat Baby: A Modern Hansel And Gretel Story
Somebody went and made a baby entirely out of ground beef. Which, funny story: is exactly how God made Adam. Minus the pickle eyes. He used deviled eggs, silly! Can you tell I took a religion class in college? Because I didn't. I did take a philosophy class though -- it was called Morality and Ethics. Yeah, I found out I don't have any (I stole an exam and got expelled).
The Meat Baby [thisiswhyyourefat]
Thanks to Tydal and trishna87, who only eat candy babies.
May 1 2009 Swine Flu Origin, Self Diagnosis Website
If you haven't seen this already, allegedly, this is how it all began (but not really, so PLEASE don't email me about it). And, with the world in hysterics, DoIHaveSwineFlu.org has developed a web-based self diagnostic tool for the detection of swine flu. It takes just one minute to complete, so I urge you all to take the time to run through it, just to be on the safe side. Go on, do it for me. Well? Be honest. ZOMG, YOU HAVE IT DON'T YOU?!? Jesus, don't leave a comment -- you'll kill us all!
Thanks to Bailey, trishna87 and Michael, who are holding out for the ewe flu.
Apr 27 2009 Tracking The Swine Flu With Google Maps
You can now track the swine flu with Google Maps by going HERE. If a marker appears in your town, and you're a chick, take naked pictures of yourself and email them to me for verification I don't care what you do if you're a dude, but no naked pictures, please. Also, I'm a little pissed at whoever started this damn flu pandemic in the first place. I'm looking at you, bacon hater. THE PORK GOD DEMANDS APPEASEMENT!
Thanks to Romeo and Frank B., who would much prefer the chicken pox.
Feb 27 2009 Mmmm, Brains: Delicious AND Nutritious
Maybe the zombies got something right after all. Brains, as it turns out, are chock-full of healthy cholesterol. You know, the kind that makes your heart stop. That's right, a single 5.5 oz can of pork brains contains 3,500mg of heart-arresting deliciousness -- about 1170% of your daily value. Bet you can't eat just one!
The "Worst Food Product Ever" May Have Been Found [consumerist]
Thanks to twellve, who ate two cans and then puked worse than she ever has in her life.
