Sep 20 2009 Meat Baby: A Modern Hansel And Gretel Story
Somebody went and made a baby entirely out of ground beef. Which, funny story: is exactly how God made Adam. Minus the pickle eyes. He used deviled eggs, silly! Can you tell I took a religion class in college? Because I didn't. I did take a philosophy class though -- it was called Morality and Ethics. Yeah, I found out I don't have any (I stole an exam and got expelled).
The Meat Baby [thisiswhyyourefat]
Thanks to Tydal and trishna87, who only eat candy babies.
Jul 7 2008 1-UP Mushroom Burgers Are Green, Spotted
If there's one thing I love it's video game inspired food items. So these Mario 1-UP burgers are right up my alley in my pie-hole. All you need to do is dye your bun tops green with food coloring, melt some mozzarella circles on top, and presto: nobody will touch your burgers. And you know why? That green ketchup that Heinz was trying to peddle back in 2000. Scared the hell out of kids. It's a known fact: kids hate vegetables and all things green. Well, until they hit high school and start experimenting with marijuana. Then green is cool.
Hit the jump if you really want to see what two dyed buns sitting on a granite countertop next to a bowl of green food coloring look like. Hint: think animal dung.
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Mar 14 2008 Bob's Frozen Pickles Are Unsuprisingly A Huge Hit, Surprisingly Made By John, Not Bob
John Howard used to be a roller skating ring owner that wore a leisure suit and laughed when kids fell or slammed into the wall. That is, until he started freezing pickle juice and selling it to customers. That's when he realized his dream of becoming the frozen pickle king of Texas. And now he is, with his website PickleSickle.com selling over 20,000 kerosene cucumbers each month. You can pick up a box of 16 for $18, or 32 for $28. Or you can just fish one out of the big jar at a gas station and freeze it yourself. And get me one of those reddish pickled eggs while you're at it. I love those things. If pickles aren't your thing though, I have recently introduced a similar product to market. They're called Turdsickles. They're frozen turds. Buy now before it's too late -- they're really selling like hot cakes cold turds. I suck at product design.
Pickle Pops Are Officially The Worst Thing I've Seen Today [ohgizmo]
