Oct 5 2009 Another Gallery Of Video Games In Real Life

This is another little gallery of video games in realer life than they are when you play them. As you can see, this is a game I'm not familiar with. It looks like Tetris mixed with Rampage. I would call it Shape Rampagers, but that's just because I'M A WORLD CLASS GAME NAMER. Super Mario Bros.? Pfft, try Two Plumbers Fight To Bang The Princess. Yeah -- I'm that L337.

Hit the jump for a few of my favorites, and the link to a bunch more if you're interested in that sort of thing (I won't judge).

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Mar 17 2009 Scientists Build Mosquito-Killing Laser Beam

In an attempt to take a bite out of malaria (suck it, McGruff!), scientists are developing a mosquito laser capable of protecting an entire village from the evil, biting bastards. Think bug-zapper times a thousand, to the power of PEW.

The laser, which has been dubbed a "weapon of mosquito destruction" fires at mosquitoes once it detects the audio frequency created by the beating of its wings.

The laser beam then destroys the mosquito, burning it on the spot.

Developed by some of the astrophysicists involved in what was known as the "Star Wars" anti-missile programs during the Cold War, the project is meant to prevent the spread of malaria.

Lead scientist on the project, Dr. Jordin Kare, told CNN that the laser would be able to sweep an area and "toast millions of mosquitoes in a few minutes."

Sounds good to me, I hate mosquitoes. I used to post up in front of the bug-zapper in a lawn chair with a case of beer and just watch those suckers get toasted. And speaking of which -- HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY EVERYONE, I'M DRINKING GREEN BEER! Or pickle juice, I can't tell! WHOO!

'Star Wars' scientists create laser gun to kill mosquitoes [cnn]

Thanks to xhaju, Bryan, spudtheimpaler, Jason, Blinzler and Fong, who can catch mosquitoes with chopsticks because they trained with Mr. Miyagi.

Mar 15 2009 Hands Down: The Worst Advertisement For Israeli Missiles I've Ever Seen

This is by far the most painful advertisement for exploding projectiles I've ever seen. Apparently Israeli missile-maker Rafael thought it would be a good idea to feature a traditional Bollywood song and dance number to drum up some incendiary business in India. They played the video at the recent Aero India 2009 in Bangalore. Was it successful? I sure hope not. And not just because I've been pitching my advertising services to Rafael. Tell me what you think of my latest commercial idea:

Wide shot of a desert quickly zooms in to a tight one of a lone watermelon on a folding table. Another quick zoom to a medium shot of the area surrounding the melon and table. Far off in the distance, a rumbling PEW PEW!. Soon, two missiles are seen cresting a mountain. As they approach, the camera man realizes he's been had and, dropping the camera, begins running. You see him fading off into the distance until *KA-BOOM!* he disappears in a massive explosion. As the smoke clears, you see his smoldering shoes. Then, at the bottom of the screen: "Expect the Unexpected. Rafael Missiles: Now with heat-seeking technology. Rafael -- When only the PEWIEST PEW will do."

Bollywood Missiles Ad Destroys My Ears, Eyes, Faith in Humanity [gizmodo]

Thanks to Martyn, who doesn't have to advertise his missile because the ladies already ask for it by name.

Feb 12 2009 Woops: Two Satellites Crash Into Each Other

Two satellites in earth's orbit recently crashed into each other and caused a huge mess. "Cleanup in outerspace aisle 4!" Great, right when I was about to get off too.

In an unprecedented space collision, a commercial Iridium communications satellite and a defunct Russian satellite ran into each other Tuesday above northern Siberia, creating a cloud of wreckage, officials said today.

"As of about 12 hours ago, I think the head count was up (to around) 600 pieces," Carey told CBS News late today. "It's going to take about two days before we get a solid picture of what the debris fields look like. But you, I think, can imply that the majority of that should be probably along the same line as the original orbits."

Lovely, more space junk for me to run into in my rocket ship when I finally blast the hell out of here. And if you're having trouble understanding how two satellites could accidentally run into each other, just look at the image above, which is a rendering showing some of the 18,000 objects that are being tracked in earth's orbit. With that much stuff floating around, accidents are bound to happen. And speaking of which, Happy Birthday, son!

Two satellites collide in orbit [spaceflightnow]

Thanks to Dr Necropolis and E of R, who both agree this was planned by those devious Ruskies.

Nov 24 2008 PEEEW!: Meteor Blasts Over Canada

A brilliant meteor shone its alien light over Alberta and Saskatchewan at approximately 5:30 p.m. last Thursday.

[The meteor] likely weighed between one and 10 tons and shone brightly enough to be seen over an area 700 km (435 miles) wide.

"It was somewhere between the size of a chair to the size of a desk," said Alan Hildebrand, a planetary scientist at the University of Calgary and a coordinator of a fireball reporting service.

Well damn, you think there were any aliens aboard that mother? I dunno, but rest assured I'll be sleeping underwearless tonight to find out. Report tomorrow.

UPDATE: We aren't alone. Wait a minute -- this is just a broken television antennae!

Meteor lights up skies over Western Canada [yahoonews]

Nov 4 2008 Space: Screw It, It's Just A Vacuum-y Landfill

Space: Our vacuum-y landfill to the north, south, east, and, uh, left.

A 1,400-pound (635-kilogram) ammonia tank burned up over the Pacific Ocean late Sunday, more than a year after an astronaut chucked it from the International Space Station because it had become obsolete, NASA said yesterday.

Astronauts routinely trash equipment in space. Most of it - including a 212-pound (96-kilogram) video camera stand Anderson got rid of during the same spacewalk - burns up before making impact on Earth.

What the -- we're already trashing space? I swear, if I see a single freaking McDonald's cup on the way to Moonbase Brothel, it's somebody's ass. And hopefully an alien stripper's -- in my lap.

Trash crash: Space litter makes landing [sciam]

Thanks to loyal Geekologist Hunter, who, even on his birthday, takes the time to send tips. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUDDY!

Sep 5 2008 UPDATE: Now With Video And Cat Picture: Helicopters Teach Themselves To Fly, Hilarity Does Not Ensue, PEW PEW PEW Does

Mad scientists at Stanford have created helicopters that can teach themselves to fly difficult acrobatic maneuvers simply by watching another helicopter perform them. Start building that bunker.

The dazzling airshow is an important demonstration of "apprenticeship learning," in which robots learn by observing an expert, rather than by having software engineers peck away at their keyboards in an attempt to write instructions from scratch.

"I think the range of maneuvers they can do is by far the largest" in the autonomous helicopter field, said Eric Feron, a Georgia Tech aeronautics and astronautics professor who worked on autonomous helicopters while at MIT. "But what's more impressive is the technology that underlies this work. In a way, the machine teaches itself how to do this by watching an expert pilot fly. This is amazing."

Jesus, so all the robots need is one crazy asshole to teach them how to do something, and it's goodbye humanity. This is depressing. So, to cheer you back up, I'll tell you a funny story.

I'm working from home today and one of the cats (affectionately known as The Terrorist) won't leave me alone. He keeps trying to pull the keys off my keyboard while I type. So I lightly squeezed one of his back legs to see if it was big enough for a meal, and you know what the little Kitler did? He dribbled a little wet shit out his cookie cutter -- just to spite me. Then I had to chase the bastard around the house with a paper towel for five minutes trying to wipe it out of his fur before he sat on something. And that, dear reader, is my life. Happy lunch!

Hit the jump for a picture of the loveable little a-hole after I pawcuffed him.

UPDATE: Video added after the jump, thanks to Whitey, who's way paler than you are.

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Aug 6 2008 Star Trek Online Going Online, Sometime

Star Trek Online is going to be unveiled in a little over four days at the Star Trek Convention in Las Vegas (August 10th). Leonard Nimoy is set to make the announcement and show some actual gameplay footage. In case you were wondering, it's going to be a MMORPGLOLROTFLMFAO that takes place in the Star Trek universe. For those of you too lazy to go to the website:

Become part of Star Trek®: The Star Trek universe will appear for the first time in a massively multiplayer online game. Everything from the elegant domes of Starfleet Academy to the ancient temples of Vulcan, from the towers of Qo'noS to the Fire Caves of Bajor, from the mysterious Mutara Nebula to the unexplored voids of deep space, all will be represented in stunning 3-D graphics. Immerse yourself in the future of the Trek universe as it moves into the 25th century: a time of shifting alliances and new discoveries.

Adventure in the Final Frontier: Explore strange new worlds, seek out new life and new civilizations in an expanding vast universe. Make contact with alien races, discover resources and uncover mysteries that will change the future of the Star Trek universe.

You Are the Captain: Command your own starship as a Federation Captain or a Klingon Warrior. Outfit it with the systems that you need to make your mark in the galaxy. Customize your ship as you see fit. Recruit, train and mold your crew into an elite force for exploration and combat.

Boy am I excited. But truthfully, there's still only one way to play Star Trek, and that's dressed in a Starfleet jumpsuit you made out of your old highschool track uniform while sitting in a cardboard Enterprise. Want to play? Good, I'll be Geordi La Forge. Okay, now where the hell is my VISOR? Oh, great. Godammit woman, I told you that is NOT your hairband anymore, that's my freaking VISOR! I need it to see.

Star Trek Online

Thanks Zakkmiester, live long and prosper. And also, ass. Get a lot of ass.

Jul 25 2008 I Told You So: Alien Visitations And UFOs Are Real, Confirmed By Apollo 14 Astronaut

Dr. Edgar Mitchell, sixth man to walk on the moon (in a Hollywood studio, according to my grandmother), is claiming that aliens are real and have made human contact.

'I happen to have been privileged enough to be in on the fact that we've been visited on this planet and the UFO phenomena is real,' Dr Mitchell said.

'It's been well covered up by all our governments for the last 60 years or so, but slowly it's leaked out and some of us have been privileged to have been briefed on some of it.

Chillingly, he claimed our technology is 'not nearly as sophisticated' as theirs and "had they been hostile", he warned 'we would be been gone by now'.

An article, along with the whole 9:00 radio interview is posted after the jump if you're interested. But I'll say this: don't believe everything an astronaut tells you. Although he does admit that the majority of alien stories you hear are fake. Ha, reminds me of the time I stuffed a broken car antennae up my ass and called the local news.

Hit it for the interview.

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