Nov 2 2009 I'm A Mommy!: Wiimote Baby Doll Peripheral
It was only a matter of time before somebody realized what a cash cow a baby doll Wiimote peripheral would be. Cover your daughter's eyes, it's Baby and Me!
Baby and Me comes with a doll, but not just any doll. This doll features a slot for the Wii remote so that the game can track feeding, playing, and excessive shaking motions. The game also features Balance Board support so that you can rock baby to sleep.
Wow that sounds....not fun. Of course, I'm not a five year old that wishes she were a mommy. And, God-willing, neither is your daughter. NO DATING TILL YOU'RE 30! What was....did you just talk back to daddy? 35!!
put your wii remote inside a baby [technabob]
Oct 16 2009 That Looks Awful: Samurai Gaming Joypad
There comes a time in every gamer's life when you have to ask yourself, "Is the original manufacturer's controller good enough, or should I opt for a questionably constructed peripheral that looks like a skeletal samurai?" Enter the $25 Warrior USB Joypad. Did I mention the samurai's eyes glow green and the face mask is removable? Because that should make it a no-brainer. Suck it, Dual Shock, your ass just got feudal Japan-inated!
Hit the jump for a picture of the rear and one with the face mask on and eyes glowing. YOINKS!
Continue Reading " That Looks Awful: Samurai Gaming Joypad "
Jul 8 2009 UPDATE: Highly Questionable, The USB Chainsaw
The i.Saw is allegedly the first USB-powered chainsaw. Supposedly it's real and available for $60 pre-order, but I dunno. I mean, a USB chainsaw would be handy to have around the office, I just question it being a real product. Because $60 sounds a little too good to be true. And with the amount of dead hookers yours truly The Superficial Writer The IWatchStuff Writer disposes of on a weekly basis, this thing would practically pay for itself (but not literally so we'd still have to sell drugs).
UPDATE: Unsurprisingly fake. Thanks to reader Owen who pre-ordered and received this email:
Hello:
We love that you liked the i.Saw enough to pre-order.
Truth is, you already own a chainsaw. Your keyboard.
Help save more trees by cutting down on unnecessary printing. Download
PaperCut, a free application that plays the sound of a chainsaw each
time you press Ctrl-P.
Questionable video after the jump.
Continue Reading " UPDATE: Highly Questionable, The USB Chainsaw "
Jun 29 2009 Mmmm, Chocolatey: The S'Mores Keyboard
This is probably the most delicious keyboard I've ever seen because I haven't seen a bacon one yet. Unfortunately, like a harmless robot, it doesn't actually exist. BUT IF IT DID. Oh, the things I would do to you. Oh yeah, you like that? You like those Doritos crumbs? You like those Doritos crumbs between your marshmallows?
S'More Keyboard Would Not Survive 10 Minutes on My Desk [gizmodo]
Thanks to GreenBoss, who kicked FuchsiaBoss's ass and ate his keyboard.
Jun 18 2009 Eye Of The Tiger, Baby: Rocky III USB Drives
Looking to add a little homoerotic flair to your computer? How about the characters from Rocky III performing sit ups in a USB port? Available in Apollo Creed, Rocky and Clubber Lang (who's making the best face) varieties, the $30 port-humpin' fools are sure to get a rise out of coworkers. Or should I say, a sit up. Rise? Okey-dokey.
Rocky III USB drives sadly missing Burgess Meredith version [engadget]
Thanks to STOMPY, Julian, MoD and thedevine1, who all received the Presidential Fitness Award in middle school.
May 12 2009 So, Yeah: The DJ Hero Turntable Peripheral
So this is the first look at the DJ Hero turntable peripheral. As you can see, they make it look like a turntable, but with buttons (and sadly no knobs). Three of them. Let's see, there's a, um, purple one, a yellow one and a....and a....*sniffle* I never learned my colors! But I did learn my tastes. OM NOM NOM. Ass. This sandwich tastes like ass.
Hit the jump for one more shot.
Continue Reading " So, Yeah: The DJ Hero Turntable Peripheral "
Apr 30 2009 I'd Buy One: The NES Controller Mouse
Sadly, the NES Controller Mouse is only conceptual. But, if there's enough consumer interest, I'll step forward and manufacture them myself (read: collect money for pre-orders and skip the country). Capitalism baby, gotta love it. Also, self-conscious strippers and breakfast cereal options.
nintendo nes controller mouse: when can i buy one? [technabob]
Thanks to Matt, Julian and RaDe, who know Count Chocula and Cap'n Crunch make the world go round. Illuminati.
Apr 8 2009 Best Mouse Ever: The LED Message Mouse
The $21 LED message mouse has an LED laden fan in it that spins around and displays whatever barely decipherable message you want, while at the same time keeping your hand sweat-free during a particularly intense "gaming" (read: fapping) session. Granted, you won't be able to actually see your message while the device is in use, but that's a small price to pay for the awesome you know is just on the other side of your hand. Obviously, I'm talking about your hairy palm. Seriously bro, give it a rest.
Hit the jump for another shot and a video of the rodent in action.
Mar 26 2009 DIY: Homemade Tupperware Joysticks
People have been going all nuts for arcade-style joysticks since Street Fighter IV dropped, so much in fact that the official $150 FightSticks are sold out everywhere online and fetching around $300 on eBay and other sites. Ain't that some shit! But now you can make your own with a little Tupperware and ingenuity. Sure it looks ridiculous, but just think how much more ridiculous it would look if it was also a fishtank. IT WOULD LOOK SO RIDICULOUS! Tupperware fishtank arcade joystick FTW! Also, fun fact: "Chun Li panties" is surprisingly not a recommended search term on Youtube. However, I did manage to find a "Street Fighter 4 butt shots/ upskirts" video. Posted after the jump!
Hit it, pervert.
Feb 18 2009 Smell Gamey? You Need Playstation Soap
So check it: you smell like ass. I'm serious, you're reeking up the interwebz. You need to get yourself some $5 Playstation controller soap from Etsy seller Digitalsoaps. Looking for something a little old schooler? No problem, they sell $8 NES controller bars as well, in such exotic flavors as pink sugar, juicy watermelon, apple jack and peel, coconut lime verbena, dragon's blood, and unicorn's semen. On a side note, when I get ripe my pits smell like really onion-y chili-cheese dogs. Your musk is different. But I like your natural pheromones. I think I'm attracted to you. Kiss me. Did you feel any chemistry? I felt some. It felt like your boob. I copped a feel!
Hit the jump to see the NES controller soap.
Feb 10 2009 It's About Time: How To Convert Your Natural Joystick Into A Functional Atari Controller
NOTE: VIDEO IS PROBABLY NSFW DEPENDING ON HOW YOUR EMPLOYER FEELS ABOUT A GUY TREATING HIS JUNK LIKE AN ATARI JOYSTICK.
Wow, I've seen it all now. And, quite frankly, I'm surprised I didn't see it earlier.
(The Joydick is) a wearable haptic device for controlling video gameplay based on realtime male masturbation. Through the use of a carefully designed strap-on interface, the user's penis is converted into a joystick capable of moving the character onscreen in all four cardinal directions. For games requiring the fire button, a separate ring can be worn which converts hand-strokes into button presses.
Super, so it can move in all four cardinal directions -- but what about the hummingbird directions, huh? I've heard they can fly backwards. BOOM! That was your head exploding from my profoundness. Take the rest of the day off, GW's orders.
Joydick Atari game controller [boingboing]
Thanks to Amanda, Praveen and Stirling, who don't need this because they have the power to enter video games and have sex with the actual characters. Joust, baby, Joust.
Jan 19 2009 Wood Is Good: A Scrabble Keyboard
Ever wondered what a keyboard would look like if it had Scrabble tiles for keys? This. Finally, you can sleep at night.
This keyboard was commissioned by a couple of friends of mine from back east (NJ) who are avid Scrabble players. Most of the keys are made from real Scrabble tiles that were all hand-beveled (truly an exercise in patience/masochism!) and built onto a USB, clicky, mechanical-switch keyboard. This keyboard was going into a Mac environment so I decided to use brushed aluminum for the casing and round all of the corners to keep with the sleek, simple Macintosh styling. Near the end of the build, I decided that the keyboard looked a little too minimalist so I added some silver hardware and a seam to put a slightly industrialized twist on the design.
Alternatively, glue Scrabble tiles to your current keyboard. Just make sure you put the correct letters on. O YJOML O YXDEW IT IO! That's a bingo, count it.
Hit the jump for a bunch of closeups.
Jan 17 2009 You're So Oldschool!: A NES Controller Jacket
This NES Controller Varsity Jacket is available for $200* from 80'sTees and has a giant freaking NES controller on the back, hence the name. It's only being made in a limited edition of 1,000 and allegedly they're already running out of several sizes, so if you want one, you better act quickly. Same goes for if you want some of this. No, I'm serious -- my girlfriend should be back any minute.
*Tough guy not included.
Hit the jump for a closeup of the embroidered controller above the breast.
Continue Reading " You're So Oldschool!: A NES Controller Jacket "
Jan 14 2009 What Did I Just Type?: A Klingon Keyboard
Want to make sure nobody in the office steals your keyboard? Well how about a Klingon one?
This exclusive Klingon language keyboard is based on the best selling G83-6000 series keyboards from Cherry.It is a good quality keyboard with 105 keys, PS/2 connection and is available currently in black. This keyboard will be available for delivery from mid November, but demand for this limited edition is high so reserve yours now to be the first with this exclusive model.
"Good quality", pfft, that's marketing speak for piece of shit. Why do I get the feeling somebody got a great deal on a bunch of old keyboards and retrofitted them with Klingon keys? Right, because that's exactly what happened. Get your today for about $65. Thankfully, I got mine yesterday. jIH 'oH tlhIngan chugh SoH Har wIj nach 'oH qab SoH ghajbe' leghpu' wIj penis!
Klingon Keyboard: for serious Trekkies only [dvice]
and
Klingon Translator (in case you need help translating)
Dec 17 2008 Smart: Stolen XBox Located Using Controller
A Missouri State student returned to his dorm room only to find his XBox 360 had been stolen. But one of the controllers had been left, and was still picking up a signal. So, using the peripheral, the gamer was able hone in on the stolen console.
Ketsenburg, who lives in Hutchens House, said that after his Xbox was stolen, he turned on his wireless Xbox controller and found that it was still connecting to his Xbox. Based on this discovery, Ketsenburg said he realized that his Xbox must be nearby, he said.
The controller connected to the Xbox on the fourth, fifth and sixth floors of Hutchens but not on the third floor and seventh floor, so through process of elimination, Ketsenburg said he figured out that the stolen Xbox must be on the fifth floor.Following the controller's signal, Ketsenburg said he was able to pinpoint the room where his Xbox was stolen.
The 5th floor resident assistant checked the alleged room where the stolen Xbox was and was able to find the Xbox, Ketsenburg said.
Oh man, that's great. The thief is being expelled and Ketsenburg, despite a reformatted hard-drive, is happy to have the XBox back. I swear, if there's one thing I can't stand, it's a thief. Which might sound hypocritical seeing how I just stole your heart. Admit it, you love me!
Wireless Controller Helps Recover Stolen 360 [kotaku]
Thanks to Saint Kevin, who once saw a man steal a woman's purse so he tripped the guy and kicked him in the throat until police arrived.
Dec 9 2008 Sure, Why Not?: A Keyboard For Blondes
The Keyboard For Blondes is a real $50 product. What makes it for blondes? Well, it has some questionably clever keys in place of the standard ones, comes complete with audio, and a lovely pink coloration.
The all-pink keyboard swaps out standard keys with funnier, dumber key names. The backspace key now says "Oops!" and the entire row of function keys spells out USELESS KEYS. Hit the "$" sign and you get the sound of a cash register clinking.
Blondes can even get a little technical and use special keys that type out "OMG," "ALI" (Absolutely Love It!) or "XOXO." My favorite? The caps lock key now says: "Warning! size XXL letters."
ZOMG, too funny! Go here to see a high-res picture of the peripheral, then stab yourself for even thinking about buying it for somebody. Then buy it for somebody. Then stab yourself again for pissing away $50. Then return it. Then bandage yourself up for doing the right thing. Alternatively, I'll wear a blonde wig while we're having sex and you can call me dumb. Haha, no sneaking in the ass!
Product Page
via
OMG! It's a Keyboard for Blondes [msn]
Thanks to Romeo, Crystal and Jeff, who don't need keyboards because they can all type with their minds. Or voice recognition software, whatever.
Dec 8 2008 Why?: The Type-From-The-Back Keyboard
The Grippity is a real product that will be hitting shelves mid next year for about a hundred bones (big ones, like arm and leg bones -- not the little ones in your ear). I question its usefulness. But then again, I question the usefulness of my third leg too. It drags on the ground, so, I dunno, maybe it's for stability.
You get a full QWERTY keyboard that allows for eight-finger typing yoga straight from the back, while a couple of triggers behind double up as mouse buttons. The learning curve for this would be pretty steep as you will probably have to forget about everything you know and start over. Nice to see the Grippity come with an orientation sensor that enables the 60 QWERTY keys to double up as hot keys whenever the unit is flipped over.
Cool, yes, but why? Like drinking a gallon of milk in an hour, just because you can, doesn't mean you should. Unless a friend bets against you, in which case it becomes a matter of pride. And projectile vomiting.
Hit the jump to see a picture of the back.
Nov 6 2008 I Dare Say Old Bean, Beautiful Keyboard
Well, it's been a little while since we've kicked it oldschool style here on Geekologie, so let's take it back to '79 -- 1879 -- with this steampunkified ergonomic keyboard.
This keyboard was commissioned by a female client and has some elegant, feminine design features such as violet LEDs, an acanthus-leaf pattern etched into the brass, and a soft burgundy wrist pad that is removable for cleaning. It also has a built-in "buttonless" touchpad mouse in the center (tap anywhere to left-click and drag, tap in the top-right corner to right-click). This keyboard is interesting because the typing plane is actually tipped forward rather than back. It looks odd at first, but actually makes for a very comfortable typing position.
Sweet, but where do you put the coal? Plus -- wait a minute -- chicks are into this whole steampunk thing? *donning tophat and monocle* Laaaaadies? No, I'm not Mr. Peanut!
Hit the jump for a bunch more pictures, including what the original keyboard looked like.
Continue Reading " I Dare Say Old Bean, Beautiful Keyboard "
Oct 1 2008 USB Ferris Wheel Ferrises When You Type!
The USB Key-controlled Ferris Wheel is a little USB peripheral that spins around whenever you're typing and sends a couple cute little animals on a happy fun slide. Thanks to the marvel of modern technology, it can sense when you've stopped typing, and ceases movement. It costs $29 and is guaranteed entertainment for all ages.*
*Ages 5-80 excluded, small parts may pose a choking hazard for the elderly.
Aug 27 2008 The Crayola EZ Type: This Isn't Your Kid's Keyboard. Ha, Just Kidding, It Totally Is
The $30 Crayola EZ Type USB Keyboard is a great way to get youngsters familiar with colors, and also, important computer skills that will benefit them throughout their adult lives. Namely, surfing interweb porno. And, to make it even easier for the tykes, Crayola appears to have added a "Porn" key, right above the directional pad. I mean, it's got to be real, it's right there in the picture. What? Photoshop? Like a place that develops film? Never heard of it.
Joel's next keyboard: Crayola EZ Type [bbgadgets]
