Apr 19 2009 Fail: How Not To Get Your Wife Pregnant

MORE: bad ideas , cheaters never win and neither do i , fail , failure , geez , haha! , men , not impressive , penis in the popcorn trick , pregnant , relationships , sex , women , woops , wow , wtf is wrong with you? , wtf were you thinking?

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I'm filing this one under awesome. Awesomely sad. Some guy paid his neighbor $2,500 to have sex with his wife 72 times in an attempt to get her pregnant. But it didn't work! Read the whole article to find out what happened, and trust me -- it'll make you feel good about your own life. Unless your kids look suspiciously like the Fed-Ex guy, in which case, hey, I'm sure it's just coincidence. BWAH AHHAHAHA! Coincidence. BWAHAHAHA!

Paid to do it 72 times [just-whatever]

Thanks to Josh, who once got an entire women's swim team pregnant just by tipping his toe in the pool.

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Jan 6 2009 IT BUUUUUURNS!: Australian Man Dies After Wife Sets His Penis On Fire, Things Go Wrong

MORE: australia , cheating , dangerous , don't try this at home , explosive , fail , fire , flame , flamethrower , holy crap , holy smokes , holy smoking cock , illegal , it buuuuuuurns! , junk , law , man , marriage , penis in the popcorn trick , relationships , uh-oh , wow , wrong

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That ain't right. You can't just go around setting a man's penis on fire while he's sleeping. I mean, what if he bee-lines it for the curtains?

Rajini Narayan, 44, is alleged to have doused her husband, Satish, with a flammable liquid while he was sleeping. When she set him alight, Mr Narayan jumped out of bed and knocked over the substance, causing the fire to spread.


Prosecutor Lucy Boord said Mrs Narayan had confessed to her neighbours, telling them she was a "jealous wife" and believed her husband was having an affair.

"I just wanted to burn his penis so it belongs to me and no one else, I didn't mean this to happen," Ms Boord quoted Mrs Narayan as saying.

Hooooooooooly shit! Rajini died from the injuries sustained during the penis fire last week. Now I'm not sure how the criminal law works in Australia, but in my neck of the woods this woman would get life in prison -- provided she survive the vagina dynamiting. Think Wile E. Coyote vs. Road Runner, but the Road Runner is a beaver -- and he's packed with explosives.

Hit the jump for the "IT BUUUUUURNS!" lighter trick idiot. If you've never seen it, watch the whole thing.

Continue Reading " IT BUUUUUURNS!: Australian Man Dies After Wife Sets His Penis On Fire, Things Go Wrong "

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Dec 15 2008 Sure, Why Not?: 'Fanboys' Plan To Break Into To George Lucas' Skywalker Ranch

MORE: coming soon , could be okay , could be terrible , fanboy , iffy , lucasarts , movie , nerdy , okay , penis in the popcorn trick , pew pew , probably will be terrible , star wars

This is a preview for 'Fanboys', a movie about a group of nerds that want to break into George Lucas' Skywalker Ranch. But, as a guy whose been there, I've got to tell you: not all that exciting. Oh, and porn dungeon. Wait, make that alien porn dungeon. The dude's a freak.

Make sure to head over to Iwatchstuff for all you breaking movie news. The guy knows his stuff. And also, where you live. Don't f*** with him.

Official Site

Thanks to Lee, who once worked on a project with George but had to bail when he realized he couldn't agree with Lucas' facial hair.

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