Aug 20 2009 About Time!: Glow In The Dark Toilet Paper
The pinnacle of human achievement: glow in the dark toilet paper. Finally, I can sleep at night...knowing that if I have to get up to go to the bathroom, I at least won't sit in the sink again. Or will I? I probably will. It's like a bidet!
Perfect for power cuts, this groovy glowing loo roll means that if you don't want to wake anyone up in your household by turning on the light, it'll cast its green glow over your bathroom, so you can find your way around.
Neat, but each roll will set you back $8 and change. And, as cool as glowing toilet paper is, I can't imagine you'd want something radioactive so close to your privates. I mean, who wants glowing children? Besides everybody! Which is exactly why I just wrapped my penis in a roll. See -- it looks like a mummy!
Thanks to naas, who doesn't need glowing toilet paper to find his ass.
Jul 8 2009 Problem Solved!: Turning Urine Into Hydrogen
Finally, I can sleep at night: scientists have discovered a way to turn urine into hydrogen. And you said I was crazy for collecting it in milk jugs!
From a group led by chemist Gerardine Botte of Ohio University comes a report (just published in the Royal Society of Chemistry's journal Chemical Communications) that hydrogen has been produced from urine.
According to a July 3, 2009 story on PhysOrg.com, "Urine's major constituent is urea, which incorporates four hydrogen atoms per molecule -- importantly, less tightly bonded than the hydrogen atoms in water molecules.""Botte uses electrolysis to break the molecule apart, developing an inexpensive new nickel-based electrode to selectively and efficiently oxidise the urea. To break the molecule down, a voltage of 0.37V needs to be applied across the cell -- much less than the 1.23V needed to split water.
So, you know what this means, right? Wait for it....wait for it....the P-bomb. Thanks folks, I'll be here all week. Make sure to tip your bartender and maybe steal a bottle for me when they're not looking. *tap tap* Haha, is this still on?
21st-century alchemy: Hydrogen from urine [bookofjoe]
Thanks to towhee, who pees in swimming pools.
Jun 5 2009 Finally, I Can Sleep At Night: Researchers Develop Algorithms To Mimic Water Sounds
The watery sounds you hear in this video were all made using algorithms developed by researchers at Cornell, because, honestly, curing diseases can wait.
Doug James and Changxi Zheng, researchers at Cornell University, have developed a way to simulate the sounds of flowing or dripping water, which in real life are produced by tiny air bubbles that compress and expand due to surface tension, creating sound waves in the water.
So by using the geometry of a 3D scene, the Harmonic Fluids algorithm they developed can calculate where the air bubbles would have been created in real life and how they would have moved, which allows realistic accompanying sounds to be generated.
Now don't get me wrong, that's neat as hell, I just wish they would have made their research a little more useful in the real world. Like, I dunno, developing an algorithm to mimic the mating calls of prehistoric dinosaurs. Am I right? If we're not gonna cure cancer I should at least get laid.
Cornell Researchers Develop Algorithms To Simulate The Sounds Of Fluids [ohgizmo]
Jun 4 2009 Honesty Fail: How Not To Sell A Used iPhone
This is exactly how you don't sell a used iPhone on craigslist. If the phone fell in a puddle of urine but didn't damage the phone YOU DON'T MENTION IT IN THE AD. Trust me, I learned the hard way.
Looking to sell a 1 year old Tokyoflash wristwatch. The watch is in perfect working condition. The only problem is I lost it in my girlfriend for 12 days, but I put soap on it and wrapped it in a napkin. No damage to the watch or screen.
I still have it. Any takers? You smell it you bought it.
Thanks to pat, who once sold snow to an Eskimo by threatening the poor bastard with a flamethrower.
May 27 2009 Runpee: It Is Now Safe To Leave The Theater
Runpee.com is a website database of movies currently in the theater with notations that let you know when it's a good time to run to the bathroom. As you can see, this is the runpee chart for Terminator Salvation, which features several opportunities to drain your dragon. Of course, some would argue any time is good because the movie sucked. I wouldn't know, I haven't seen it BECAUSE I HAVE ENOUGH TROUBLE SLEEPING ALREADY. Also, I don't like leaving my seat during a movie, so you know what I do? I use a catheter. Except I definitely don't because I would pass out from the thought before I even had my pants down. Which is why the last movie I saw in the theater was Cars. Not even kidding.
Thanks to Randi, who just asks for an empty cup from the concession stand.
May 19 2009 Closer To The Action: Kneeling Pee Bench
The Tenshi no Hizamakura (Angels Knee Pillow) is a little bench designed to get men lower to the action and help prevent urine misplacement. No word if it actually comes with the flying pee genie in the picture, but that would pretty awesome if it did (and also a bargain at $60).
...according to the manufacturer, House Doctor, urinating into the toilet from a certain height results in hundreds of droplets of spray & splash being ejected from the bowl - yes, they actually COUNTED the droplets - and in Japanese households it's the wife who gets to perform the toilet cleaning services.
Ha, maybe America and Japan aren't so different after all. Get it? Because the women do the cleaning here too! Isn't that right, honey? Honey? HONEY?! Shit. Note to self: rerun singles ad. Bigger penis this time.
Hit the jump for a couple more shots of the questionableness that I'll never need because I always sit down.
Continue Reading " Closer To The Action: Kneeling Pee Bench "
Apr 29 2009 Highly Questionable: No Wash Boxers
No Wash boxers were designed by 29-year old medical student Rob Libfeld who claims he came up with the idea when he noticed how embarrassed patients in the hospital were of their soiled, all white underwear. As you can see, the $13 drawls are all yellow in the front and brown in the back, so you can piss and shit to your incontinent heart's content with little to no visible embarrassment. However, there will still be a smell, so be sure to look around quizzically to expel any blame.
No wash underwear hides stains, not odours [newslite]
Thanks James, and remember: he who protested it, foam-crested it.
Apr 18 2009 Crazy Sink Is Crazy, Drains Onto The Floor
The Abisko Washbasin from Eumar isn't even a basin. It's a freaking waterslide. A waterslide sink that drains onto the floor. How hilarious would it be if some bar installed this thing and forgot to put in the drain? Or even better -- you clogged it with a bunch of paper towels! HAHAHA, water damage is so funny! But seriously, it would be cool to spit blood in the sink and watch it sail down the stream. And why would you be spitting blood? I dunno, sometimes you just *WA-POW!* that's why.
Hit the jump for a bunch more of the questionable modernity.
Continue Reading " Crazy Sink Is Crazy, Drains Onto The Floor "
