Feb 26 2009 Shot-Gun Brings New Meaning To The Word
The Shot-Gun is by far the most delicious way to get shot. Because, instead of lead, it fills you with booze! And booze, my friends, makes the world go around. Or at least the room. Whee, I'm on a carousel!
Armed with the Alcohol Shot Gun, you can re-enact the most memorable movie scenes from "Dirty Harry" to "Matrix". "Do you feel lucky, sucker" is the only question? Pour in an ounce of your favorite drink into the cartridge, cock the trigger, point and shoot.
Call me crazy, but I want one. PEW! I feel better already. PEW! Mmmm, so warm in my belly. PEW PEW! I think that gfirl is lwooking at me. PEW PEW! i called her ugly a whorew . PEW PE? WHO ASE YOU CLALING DRUNK! Oh, ohs no -- PEW PEWK! PEEEEEWWWWWWK! ack, IthInk i popped A BLOODVESSEL in my eye. ugh. PEW! Oh yeah, that's the stuff.
Alcohol Shot Gun [slipperybrick]
Thanks to Derrick, who accidentally shot himself in the eye and now it burns.
Dec 31 2008 The All New New Years Eve Ball: Now With More Lights, Efficiency And, Uh, Triforces
What you're looking at is the new New Years Eve ball to be dropped (they literally should drop it one year -- after setting it on fire. Fireball Island FTW!) in Times Square tonight.
Last year, the Times Square Ball got an LED makeover for its 100th anniversary. This year that tradition continues, all 32,256 Philips Luxeon Rebel LEDs of it (and don't forget the 2,668 Waterford crystals). The 12-foot-wide, 11,875-pound ball is capable of displaying "16 million vibrant colors and billions of patterns"
The ball is 20% more efficient than last year as well, which means it will only consume enough power to run a handful of towns in the midwest. Oooooh, and what's with the Philips Rebel LEDs? I like the sound of those. "F*** you, we'll light when we want!"
Next year, Rogue LEDs.
The 'New' New Year's Eve Ball: 32,256 LEDs, 11,875 pounds, 20% more efficient [dvice]
Aug 12 2008 Google Streets: Now With Drunks And Fire!
There are all sorts of neat things to spot with Google Earth and Google Street View. Apparently including some guy that's shitcanned and passed out in his neighborhood.
When this drunken Aussie was shaken awake by police he prayed none of the neighbors had seen him collapsed on the curb. Unfortunately millions could gaze at his slumped form. For at the moment he passed out, Google's Street View camera car was filming in that corner of Melbourne. And the man - identified only as Bill, 46, - is not happy. The fisherman who had been drowning his sorrows at a funeral, said: "I wasn't thinking there would be someone driving by with a camera."
Now I've never been to a jeans and tennis shoe funeral, but I'm sure they exist. But Bill, a word of advice -- there is ALWAYS somebody driving by with a camera. If it's not Google, it's the government or a psycho ex-girlfriend. Or maybe the PI your wife hired to catch you cheating. My point is this: if you have to pass out, keep your legs out of the freaking street. Because if the camera car had been driving anything like I do, now performing a Google search for "your legs" wouldn't find any matches.
Hit the jump to see a picture of a Google Street View of a house on fire from Sherwood, Arkansas.
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Jun 2 2008 Omni Chair: Super Comfy, Super To Do It On
The Omni Chair is the lovechild of a pillow who was in love with a beanbag chair but whose families were quarreling (think Romeo and Juliet, but way comfier to sit on). Well one fateful night the pillow threw itself off the bed and snuck out to have relations with the beanbag chair in my parent's basement. Two months later *BLAM* the Omni chair.
This super-sized pillow by Sumo is the ultimate solution for all your relaxing needs. We've come up with 10 ways to use it, but some people say we lack imagination!
It's a crash mat, lounge chair, loveseat or floor pillow to name a few, but the possibilities really do go on.Sumo Beanbags are made from space age rip-proof nylon and come filled with top quality Sumo Beads. Omni is 4.5' x 5.5' and it only weighs 18 lbs!
I seriously do own one of these and it's comfy as hell. Typically I hit it face first when I come home from the bars (upper left position in picture), but I also use it as a gaming chair when I'm sober* (upper right). The formable $129 (with free shipping) unit really is a Transformer of furniture. It's a chair, bed, recliner, and make-out station. You see that lower left position? Out of this world. My last few girlfriends have really loved that one, as it doesn't put any strain on their brittle bones and hip replacements when we're getting frisky. And before you ask, yes, I stole an AARP mailing list.
*BAC ≤ 0.16
Jan 23 2008 Roadkill Cooker: The Exhaust Burger Grill
You stuff the one of the open ends of the Exhaust Burger into your tailpipe, and then drive around while the heat of your exhaust cooks a burger. I know exactly what you're thinking -- "why didn't I think of that?". I'll admit I was a little miffed I didn't come up with it either. It was actually designed by an Iranian team (amazing it took a team of people to develop and not just one drunk scribbling on a bar napkin) and no fumes actually come in contact with your burger (allegedly). The hot exhaust fumes just warm up the metal to cook the meat. However it looks like it only heats one side, so you may have to stop at a gas station and flip you meat. Now I've heard of cooking on a hot engine before, but never cooking by exhaust. And I must say, I think this invention is a glimpse of a very bright future. And by 'bright future' I mean what the hell is the matter with these people.
Another picture of the device installed in a tailpipe after the jump.
Continue Reading " Roadkill Cooker: The Exhaust Burger Grill "
