Nov 15 2009 This Little Piggy Went To The Post Office: Bacon Flavored Envelopes For Meatier Mail
I think we all knew this day would come: Envelopes with bacon-flavored adhesive. Geez, these are almost as clever as my invention: nipple flavored envelopes. Which, I think you and I both know is the closest your tongue will ever come.
J&D's, the makers of Bacon Salt and Baconnaise, isn't kidding when they say everything should taste like bacon: They just announced Mmmvelopes, bacon-flavored envelopes. $6.99 for 25 bacon-flavored #10 envelopes, $14.99 for 3 packs of 25...."No longer will envelopes taste like the underside of your car. You can enjoy the taste of delicious bacon instead."
Now I know what you're thinking, "but how do I keep myself from eating them?" THEY'RE PAPER YOU IDIOTS. Yeah I have no idea.
Mmmvelopes: Bacon-Flavored Envelopes from the Makers of Bacon Salt and Baconnaise [eatmedaily]
Thanks to Mih0, who invented chocolate-flavored envelopes a long time ago but that ruthless cocoa mogul Wonka stole his idea.
Oct 21 2009 Stop Motion Of Papercraft Link Construction
This is a little stop motion video of a papercrafter constructing a Link model. The model is amazing, and so is the build, so you should check it out. But you shouldn't check out library books that will get you blacklisted. Or women on the street. BECAUSE I AM AGAINST THE OBJECTIFICATION OF WOMEN. Women are people too, you know. Except those crazy bodybuilding ones. They're wild animals.
Thanks to Jessica, who once made a papercraft model of the Geekologie Writer and then burn it as an effigy. Gee, thanks.
Sep 12 2009 Master Cuts: Life-Size Link Papercraft
Papercrafter Haywan got ambitious and decided to make a life-size Link. Out of paper. Making it quite possibly the most amazing feat I've ever seen in my entire life. Be sure to follow the links to see more pictures and ten videos of Haywan putting the thing together. WARNING: It's mind bogglingly complicated. Good lookin', Haywan, now how about a life-size Zelda? What? I LIKE PAPERCUTS DOWN THERE.
Hit the jump for a couple close-ups and a Link (!) to even more pictures and video.
Aug 20 2009 About Time!: Glow In The Dark Toilet Paper
The pinnacle of human achievement: glow in the dark toilet paper. Finally, I can sleep at night...knowing that if I have to get up to go to the bathroom, I at least won't sit in the sink again. Or will I? I probably will. It's like a bidet!
Perfect for power cuts, this groovy glowing loo roll means that if you don't want to wake anyone up in your household by turning on the light, it'll cast its green glow over your bathroom, so you can find your way around.
Neat, but each roll will set you back $8 and change. And, as cool as glowing toilet paper is, I can't imagine you'd want something radioactive so close to your privates. I mean, who wants glowing children? Besides everybody! Which is exactly why I just wrapped my penis in a roll. See -- it looks like a mummy!
Thanks to naas, who doesn't need glowing toilet paper to find his ass.
May 22 2009 Paper Towels: ShamWow's Latest Competitor
This is a short infomercial for Paper Towels. I only watched like five seconds of it before I started daydreaming about who would win in a fight, this guy or Vince 'ShamWow' Shalomi. Then I realized I would kill them both because I ride into battle on a dinosaur holding a smaller dinosaur! Then I went out for a gelati and rubbed sunblock on some hot chicks' chests because I'm at the beach and I DON'T ROLL WITH LIZARD TITS, SON!
Paper Towels [collegehumor]
Thanks to Harry, who once beat a man with his own roll of paper towels for cutting in line at the grocery checkout.
Dec 12 2008 Sweet: Wicked Zelda Papercraft Models
Zelda. I almost named my dog Zelda. But then I realized the real princess probably wouldn't eat cat shit, so I didn't. Anyway, this is a papercraft model of Link's hat and hair from Twilight Princess. But it's only one of a million different Zelda models available over at Nintendo Papercraft (which has tons of other Nintendo characters as well). If you're good with scissors and glue go check them out, make some, then send them to me. I'm not allowed to use scissors anymore because I cut my own hair once when my mom wasn't paying attention. Then I ate it. It tasted hairy.
Hit the jump for a whole bunch more of my favorites, then check out the link for tons and tons more.
Nov 24 2008 Bullets And Paper Cuts: Hellboy's Samaritan
This is a papercraft model of Hellboy's revolver, the Samaritan. It's pretty freaking wicked and features a working hinge, loadable bullets, and complicated instructions. Hit the jump to see another pictures of the intricacy. But if there's one thing I've learned during my brief tenure on this planet we call f***ed, it's this: don't ever bring a paper gun to a knife fight -- you're gonna get stabbed.
Hit the link for the 14-page printable instructions.
Continue Reading " Bullets And Paper Cuts: Hellboy's Samaritan "
Nov 7 2008 A Sweet Stop-Motion Mega Man Video
This is a wicked Mega Man (or Rockman) stop motion video made with paper and kickass. I liked it. It got kind of silly towards the end, but it's Friday, and sometimes it's good to get a little silly at the end. Obviously I'm talking about drinking at work. You have my permission!
Rockman 1 [blip]
Thanks to VeryLiberating, who doesn't wear pants at work.
Oct 27 2008 Waves Of The Future: Internet, Buckypaper
Call me crazy, but I think this whole internet thing is really gonna take off one day. And, quite possibly, Buckypaper. It may just look like a turd wafer, but it's actually a paper-thin series of (carbon nano)tubes.
Buckypaper is 10 times lighter but potentially 500 times stronger than steel when sheets of it are stacked and pressed together to form a composite. Unlike conventional composite materials, though, it conducts electricity like copper or silicon and disperses heat like steel or brass.Buckypaper is made from tube-shaped carbon molecules 50,000 times thinner than a human hair. Due to its unique properties, it is envisioned as a wondrous new material for light, energy-efficient aircraft and automobiles, more powerful computers, improved TV screens and many other products.
Well damn, I bet ol' Buckminster is on cloud nine right now. Literally -- he died in 1983. But seriously, what good is black paper if you don't have a white pencil?
Future planes, cars may be made of 'buckypaper' [usatoday]
Thanks to The_Don, who invented Buckypaper, rock, scissors, and never loses.
Jul 11 2008 Cardboard Toilet Is Obviously Questionable
The Shit Box is a cardboard toilet made specifically for outdoor use. But, if your water gets cut off because you didn't pay the bill, I can vouch it works inside as well. It costs about $31, which the company claims is "an honest price", and is obviously a bold-faced lie. I mean, it's a cardboard box that comes with "10 degradable poo bags (you worthless damn poo bags you, you'll never amount to anything!)". To its credit though, the unit doubles as a stool if you're comfortable hovering over a bag of shit with nothing between you and it but a cardboard lid. Oh, and the name has got to go. Shit box is already what you call an old, crappy car or some idiot's pie-hole. Which, in my girlfriend's case, is not just because she's always blathering some nonsense (although she is). You see, she was in this really twisted viral video...
Hit the jump for a couple more graphics explaining how the unit works in case shitting in a cardboard box is beyond you.
Continue Reading " Cardboard Toilet Is Obviously Questionable "
Jul 10 2008 Tie Napkins: Who Wears A Shirt To Dinner?
I typically eat alfresco, which for some might mean outdoors, but for me means butt-ass naked. I don't care if it's a 7-course dinner or a box of Oreos, I need to be comfortable. Well, for those formal tie-only affairs come these Dress For Dinner Napkins. As you can see, they're napkins with ties printed on them. They come in four tie patterns and a box of twenty will set you back $5.95. Not bad considering the money you'll save on dry cleaning bills. The only problem is, I'm having trouble finding a place to tuck them in. Hold on, I've got it. I'll just make a little incision here below the Adam's apple and...I'm bleeding. Wow, a lot. Like a lot a lot. Great, now my napkin tie is rui....
Dress For Dinner Napkins [ohgizmo]
Jun 25 2008 More Origami From Our Folder In Residence
Brian Chan is now Geekologie's official paper folder in residence And he's hard at work on original designs to showcase at his exhibition table at this weekend's Origami USA Convention in New York. He stayed up all night working on this WALL-E, and as you can see, he's looking good. If you want to get an idea of what to expect at the convention, just take a look at Brian's other amazing work here. Seriously, click that link, you won't be disappointed. I'm really digging all the beetles. Oh, and Fay Valentine from Cowboy Bebop. So, anybody else going to the convention this weekend? If I was in New York I would be. Unfortunately I'm not and I hate driving and flying. I only crawl -- bar crawl! You see, I'm an alcoholic.
Hit the jump for more of WALL-E and another link to Brian's origami page in case you haven't clicked it the first two times I've given it to you.
Continue Reading " More Origami From Our Folder In Residence "
Jan 28 2008 V-12 Engine Made Entirely Out Of Paper
This V-12 four-stroke engine was constructed entirely out of paper -- 1,978 pieces to be exact. Weighing in at a little over 3 pounds, it certainly ranks as one of the lightest V-12s around. It also ranks as the one most likely to cause a serious paper cut. Perhaps the most amazing part of the whole thing is that it works -- producing a 13.5RPM crankshaft speed via 2 AA batteries. Over two years in the making it truly is a work of art. Well, it was until I filled it with gas and produced a spark. Then it was truly a fireball.
Several more pictures and a video of the action after the jump.
