Nov 10 2009 How Do You Not Bite Them?: Bacon Nails
Geekologie Reader Melissa has taken it upon herself to paint her fingernails in a different style every day for an entire year and blog about it. Today's theme is bacon, and I'll be the first to admit I would bite every single one of those fingers clean off. And by 'clean off' I mean do you know how hard it is to bite through a finger? Surprisingly easy. Go ahead -- put one in my mouth, I DARE DOUBLE DARE PHYSICAL CHALLENGE you. Here, I'll close my eyes and everything. *zip* Haha, nice try buddy.
Hit the jump for a shot of the other cuticles.
Oct 2 2009 eBay: Amazing Optimus Prime Action Figure
Up on the auction block is a $45 Hasbro Optimus Prime action figure that's been meticulously modded and painted to match the leader of the Autobot's appearance in Revenge of the Fallen. The level of detail is amazing. Unfortunately, so is the price: bidding is currently at $730 with just under six hours remaining. So yeah, bid away if you want to blow a cool grand this afternoon. But if you want to blow up a cool air mattress, let me now -- I have guests coming to stay the weekend. Now transform and blow till you pass out!
Hit the jump for several more shots, including what the toy looked like before modification.
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Sep 29 2009 Fight: Rainbow Brite Vs. Strawberry Shortcake
This is a piece of handpainted art by Jude Buffum (prints available at his site) showing Rainbow Brite kicking Strawberry Shortcake's head off Mortal Kombat fatality style. There's another one of a Carebear (who I suspect is Tenderheart Bear) ripping Teddy Ruxpin's heart out after the jump. I especially liked that one. Because as many of you may know, Teddy was my first and last robotic lover. Yeah, I caught him trying to kiss my Spike plushie from The Land Before Time. Insight: you have some now.
Hit the jump for one more and a Big Lebowski print I liked as well.
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Sep 24 2009 Pop Art Paintball: Marilyn In A Minute
Sure this might not be as impressive as creating a paintball Mona Lisa in a split-second, but it's still pretty neat (skip to 0:40 for the action). And speaking of neat, it's the only way I drink my bourbon. I don't need your newfangled ice!
Thanks to Rodrigo, who once paintballed his way out of a wet paper bag. But you had scissors in your hands, bro! You could have saved the ammo. You'll never survive the zombie apocalypse!
Sep 10 2009 Nice Kicks, Brah: Custom Super Mario Shoes
If there's one thing to earn some serious street cred, it's a pair of custom painted Mario shoes. Kidding, it's calling a grizzly bear a bitch to her tits and stealing a cub, but these might net you a little.
Each one is precisely handpainted by Rachelle Williams of ParadoxArtistry, and covered with imagery of all of your favorite Super Mario characters. At $160 smackeroos a pair, they're not cheap, but think about how much two original paintings and a pair of high-tops would cost you and then it doesn't seem that bad. While the pair shown above is a Men's size 11, Rachelle will happily make you a pair in any size.
I, for one, would rock the hell outta those puppies. WOOF WOOF, know what I'm sayin'?! I don't, I think I've lost my got-damn mind.
Hit the jump for one more shot of the impressiveness.
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Aug 8 2009 Light Graffiti: The LED Spraypaint Can
Halo is an LED spraypaint can by French designer Aissa Logerot. Basically, instead of spraying paint (which, kids, you shouldn't huff), it has an LED that sprays light!
the LED light can change colors and brightness on the fly and while it's powered by an internal battery that can be charged by shaking of the can.
"Graffiti artists can conserve their own gesture they have with an aerosol spray. It is possible to change the color and the brightness of the led to change the graffiti's styles. If the light doesn't have enough battery, the user must shake it to have energy again."
Sure you could do the same thing with any LED, but I like the can form factor. Plus, I like shaking things. So, what should I spray first? I'm leaning towards A WAY TO YOUR HEART. Then, once you're mine, a dinosaur eating an airplane.
halo - LED Spray Paint [likecool]
Thanks to naas, who once sprayedpainted the side of an entire building with urine.
Aug 3 2009 Luke, I Am Your Hood Art: Darth Vader Car
Geekologie Reader Dustin, the same man responsible for spotting the Dagobah hump wagon a couple weeks ago, has had yet another Star Wars themed car drawn to him, this time a Vader Civic.
The Yoda Van and now this. I suppose all of the Star Wars cars in the universe slowly migrate towards me.
You might be right, Dustin. Also, I'm pretty sure this painting has cut the car's resale Force by at least a Skywalker arm. Oh, what's up with the custom license plate? STRW ARS? Your guess is as good as mine.
Thanks Dustin, and I'm glad to see you weren't driving and taking pictures this time. OR WERE YOU? You were!
*Please don't email me about the license plate. I get it, okay. But obviously, you don't get me. WHICH IS WHY WE'RE NOT DATING. I'm looking at you, Mr. and Ms. About To Send An Email Calling Me An Idiot.
Jul 16 2009 Run Snoopy, Run!: Nightmarish Charlie Brown
This is a painting of Charlie Brown by artist Tim O'Brien. Scary, no? I'm sorry if you're not gonna be able to sleep tonight, but I live by the mantra "if I had to see, so do you". Sweet dreams!
Also, for the hundreds of people who keep sending the "dead body eating robot" tip, I posted it earlier this week. I get depressed as hell when I get the same tip I posted a few days ago. *sniff* Don't you read regularly? YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME!
Tim O'Brien's Painting of Charlie Brown [agentmlovestacos]
Thanks to FDSY, who you can blame for not being able to sleep at night. And not just because he's hiding under your bed, but he is.
Jun 1 2009 New Yorker Cover Painted On iPhone
This is a video of Jorge Columbo (not to be confused with Peter Falk) painting the cover of the latest New Yorker, which was created using a $4 iPhone app called Brushes. As you can see, it's okay. Don't get me wrong, I love all hotdog vendors, but I would have gone with Ignatius dressed as a pirate. Paradise Vending FTW? Dunces FTW!
Cover Story: Finger Painting [newyorker]
Thanks to e, who knows the only iPhone app you need is Scramble.
May 22 2009 Fun At The Fair: Animal Hand Paintings
These is a little gallery of amazing animal hand paintings created by somebody who I don't know who is. But whoever they are, they sure did a great job. So great, in fact, I've been inspired to paint my own.
Well, what do you think? It's a robin. That? That's the worm it's eating. Oh -- looks like he's having a little trouble keeping it down! Ha -- you see where I'm going with this? Hell.
Hit the jump for a bunch of others and a link to another gallery with at least 2 or 3x more.
Apr 7 2009 Now That's Fine Art: Mario Strikes Back
This is painting by Los Angeles artist Misha entitled Empire. There are two others after the jump, both of which feature some relatively not-at-all-hot slave-girl Peach action (okay, the second one did a little something). They're all available for sale if you're interested, to the tune of $1,400. Which, haha, is a little out of my range. You see, I only sing bass. And speaking of which -- all yours are belong to me!
Hit it for the others.
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Apr 6 2009 It Hurts Just To Look At: The Trippy Clock
This Salvador Dali clock costs $15 and is painful to look at. I glanced at it once and nearly lost it. Then, which I was editing the image, I puked in my mouth a little. It was yogurt-y.
Just follow the hands out to meet the face and you'll be just fine. Zany is one word for it. Eclectic another. Put it above a bar and you'll have the punters examining the contents of their glasses. In short, buy this slippery, rubbery chronograph and say 'Hello, Dali' to a distorted vision of time. And an insight into the mind of a creative genius.
I don't know about all that. Besides, who needs a clock to make them feel like they're tripping? Now if you really wanna trip you need to drink this right here. Yeah, I know it tastes awful, but just trust me. Theeeeeere you go. So, feel anything yet? No? Well maybe you should walk around a little. *THUD* HAHA -- I tied your laces together when you were busy drinking my urine!
freaky dali-esque clock is twirlin', not meltin' [technabob]
Mar 24 2009 Son Paints 60-Foot Phallus On Parent's Roof
Rory McInnes, 18, inspired by a television program he watched about Google Earth, climbed onto his parent's roof and painted a 60-foot phallus with a bucket of white paint. It took his parents over a year to discover the monster shlong, and now Rory "will have to scrub it off when he gets back from traveling". Haha, scrub it off. But seriously, who the hell paints a giant member ON THEIR OWN HOUSE? Sorry, but I'm chalking this one up as a penis painting fail, Rory. Better luck next dong.
60-foot penis painted on roof [bbcnews]
Thanks to Andy Mac, a-lice, Cian and Pesche, who are all smart enough to only paint junk on other people's houses.
Feb 20 2009 5 Minute Video Made From 6,000 Paintings
This five minute video was made by Reza Dolatabadi as his graduate film in college. It took over two years to complete and is comprised of 6,000 individual paintings shown at a rate of 20 per second. Freaking amazing. Granted, not as amazing as writing 3,003 posts on Geekologie, but still, valiant effort, Reza.
6,000 Separate Paintings... [theatlantic]
Thanks to Mark, who was going to make a movie out of a million paintings but lost them all in a house fire. So sad.
Feb 9 2009 Desecrate My Childhood: He-Man Re-Imagined
Growing up, I thought He-Man was the perfect guy. He was strong, smart, sexy, and hung around a ragtag group of dudes all day. Does it get any better?* So why artists Alex Leighton and Marko Djurdjevic felt it necessary to re-imagine the hunk is beyond me. Alex sells his very lighthearted, cartooon-y acrylic originals for $45 (examples after the jump), while Marko, well, Marko is obviously depressed. That's his He-Man there.
Man-At-Arms: He-Man -- Skeletor approaches, we must attack!
He-Man: He-who? I need a clean needle.
Hit the jump for a bunch more of the two completely different takes on He-Man and the Masters of My Universe.
*Not unless he mixes a good daiquiri.
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Dec 3 2008 Mad Skills: Amazing Digital Art Techniques
This is a gallery of several different exemplary digital painting techniques (sorry, no Star Wars porn here). I posted 10 of my favorites out of the 52, so make sure to check out the full gallery for the others. Some of the stuff is seriously mind boggling. Granted, I personally could have done better in Microsoft Paint, but that's just because I'm the l337 photohaxor. Even with both hands tied behind my back. And ball-gagged. And some leather-clad dude beating the shit out of me with a riding crop. Oh yeah, that's the stuff. I'm gonna....oh....oh....PAINT BUCKET TOOL!
Hit the jump for a bunch more and a link to the gallery.
Continue Reading " Mad Skills: Amazing Digital Art Techniques "
Dec 3 2008 Wicked!: Vincent Van Gogh Counter-strike Map
As a guy who's been playing Counter-strike since the fall of 1999, I've shot many of you poor bastards in the head time and time again. What can I say, I am the l337. So anyway, cartographer Nipper went and make a wicked Vincent Van Gogh inspired board in which all the textures were made using Van Gogh paintings. It looks pretty freaking awesome. Hit the jump for a video walkthrough of the map, which features many of the scenes from his most famous paintings. Seriously, it's worth a look. I mean, Jesus, the dude cut his ear off and gave it to a whore. Now that's a present. Also, I embedded the video in high quality because I want to get in your pants.
Hit it like a headshot for the video.
Continue Reading " Wicked!: Vincent Van Gogh Counter-strike Map "
Nov 11 2008 Fake! Shadows Are Too Perfect, This Is From The Summer Blockbuster Never Back Down From Beating A Dead Horse: Real Life Photoshop
This is what Photoshop would look like in real life. If you think it's fake you can go this Flickr gallery to see its construction, then suck it. And if you think it's from the scene in Never Back Down where The Geekologie Writer stabs a commenter through their monitor, well, I can make that happen.
What Photoshop Would Look Like in Real Life [gizmodo]
Thanks to Harrison and Roberto, who are neither fake nor from a stupid freaking movie.
Nov 10 2008 Not Just A Pretty (Reflected) Face: An Interactive, Touch-Sensitive Mirror
It's a mirror. It's interactive. It's an interactive mirror. You can touch it to paint pictures and manipulate text. "Conceptualized by Alpay Kasal of Lit Studios and Sam Ewen of Interference Inc. This is a patent pending touch capable mirror." Now I'm not sure about the practical applications of such a reflectionary device, but hey, who said anything about practicality? If I wanna do my hair and browse recipes at the same time, that's my God-given right. Kidding ladies, that one's yours.
JOKING!
Youtube
Thanks to Brooke, who probably wishes she hadn't sent this and now thinks I'm a racist.
Oct 1 2008 Sarah Palin Look-Alike Needed For Adult Film
This is a craigslist posting in Los Angeles looking for a Sarah Palin look-alike to be in a porno. As you can see, no anal is required. So there goes our hope of Sarah Impalin' That Alasska.
Hit the jump for a NSWF portrait of a nude Sarah Palin that looks like it was painted by a 4th grader.
Continue Reading " Sarah Palin Look-Alike Needed For Adult Film "
