Nov 2 2009 I Like: The Periodic Table Of Picnic-ery
This is the periodic table of picnic-ery. I like how the makers went the extra mile and even shaped the table correctly. Because if I'd have made it it would have just been a rectangle. On fire. I dine fiery al fresco!
Table of Elements: Get Some Chemistry In Your Next BBQ [uberreview]
Sep 23 2009 You've Got To Be Kidding Me: Laptop Burka
Hot on the heel's of last year's highly lucrative Laptop Poncho comes this Laptop Burka. What is a Laptop Burka? A $17 sheet you put over your head while computing outdoors to prevent sun glare.
The new Laptop Burka lets you work and play on your laptop without the glare of sunlight or stares from uninvited strangers. Laptop Burka lets you work or watch movies in your own portable private space, and its made from high-quality, breathable, lightweight fabric. Take it anywhere, anytime. No more eye straining or battery draining from glare. Take your Laptop Burka to the pool ... the patio ... the park ... ANYWHERE!!
Just look at the guy in the picture. Do you really want to be that guy? If you answered, "damn yeah!", high five -- so do I! I just wish they came in pink :(
Product Site
via
'Laptop Burka' may be the most useless product ever [dvice]
Aug 21 2009 Uh-Oh: Gamers More Likely To Be Depressed
No that isn't me. That is a sad gamer. You see, a recent study found that gamers are more likely to be depressed than non-gamers. Shocking, I know.
The average gamer is 35, overweight, and more likely to be depressed, says a new study conducted by researchers at the Center for Disease Control and Prevention.
The study, which was carried out in the Seattle-Tacoma area, found that gamers reported "lower extraversion, consistent with research on adolescents that linked video-game playing to a sedentary lifestyle and overweight status, and to mental-health concerns."
Oh yeah? Well I'm only 28, overweight and depressed. So put that in your study and smoke it like a bong (BLUBLBLUBLBLUBLBLUBLUB)!
Study: Games are depressing...or are they? [yahoo]
Thanks to Matt, who is like a giraffe in a potato sack.
Aug 14 2009 Solar Shower Provides Hot Water In 2 Hours
The $200 Solar Power Shower can heat up to 8 liters of water to 140° Fahrenheit in as little as two hours, provided it's outside in the sun and not in your basement.
It's a lot more sophisticated than a simple camping solar shower, because this one mixes that 140° water with cool water from the garden hose, giving you plenty of toasty warm water at just the right temperature.
Impressive, but I don't really have a need for a solar powered shower. I do, however, have a need for that chick in the picture. Seriously, I'm getting hungry. HIYO!
Mar 20 2009 Bus Stop Shames You Into Joining The Gym
Fitness First is a gym in the Netherlands that installed this advertisement at a local bus stop. It has a scale attached to the seat so when you sit on it (with legs hanging) it shows your weight. It's supposed to make you think about your health and joining the gym. But all it made me think about was how long it takes to cook a 68kg turkey.
Fat Shaming at the Bus Stop [current]
Thanks to Jonathan, who once hid lead weights in his pumpkin to win the heaviest pumpkin contest at the county fair.
Mar 12 2009 See It In Action!: The UroClub Commercial
We posted on the awesomeness that is the UroClub last year. And now, there's a commercial that explains just how easy and convenient it is to use (read: screw cap off, piss in it, screw cap on). Best quote: "The UroClub comes with a towel and appears that you're just checking out your club." Also, I loved how the last five seconds of the commercial featured three guys standing side by side pissing on a tree and pretending they're not trying to sneak a peak at each others' johnsons. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it common courtesy to leave at least one tree between you and another pisser? Just sayin'.
Gold Club Fail [failblog]
Thanks to iron angel for hitting me with the follow up. Now hit me with those digits, girl! That is, if you are a girl. Otherwise, forget that number I gave you.
Mar 6 2009 Delicious!: Bubble Buddy Blows Bacon Flavored Bubbles For Your Dog Or Child!
Sure bubble guns have existed forever, but not BACON flavored bubbles! That's right, now you can blow bacon, chicken, or peanut butter flavored bubbles for your favorite pooch or small child.
Dogs love these yummy scented bubbles. You can use these dog bubbles with the included bubble wands or with any bubble machine, bubble blower, bubble gun or bubble shooter for dogs. One thing's for sure: your dog is gonna love popping all those flavored bubbles! 100% non-toxic bubbles are and safe for dogs and kids.
The gun costs $9.25 and 2-packs of bubbles are $4.25. Cheap! Fun! Delicious! I couldn't find any nutritional info, but I'm sure it's safe to say that drinking a whole bottle constitutes a well balanced meal. *GLUG GLUG GLUG* Mmmm, bacon-y. *BURP* Oooh -- just as delicious coming back up! WHEE, BUBBLES!
Product Site
Thanks to Alex, who marinated a Bacon Explosion in bacon bubbles and swears it was delicious.
Jan 28 2009 It's Like Bathing In The Forest!: The Moss Mat
Moss is like nature's carpet that never has to be vacuumed. So why not bring a little of the outdoors in with a mossy bathmat?
Nguyen La Chanh's ingenious design is made from a decay-free foam called plastazote, and populated with three varieties of moss: ball, island, and forest. Maintenance required for this little patch of green is limited, as the moss thrives off of the humidity released from daily bathroom rituals.
I want one. I just question how much traffic the mat can stand. Granted, that wouldn't be a problem for me -- I only shower bi-weekly. It's called cologne, folks, and I'm saving the planet one less shower at a time.
Hit the jump for a couple more pictures.
Continue Reading " It's Like Bathing In The Forest!: The Moss Mat "
Nov 17 2008 The World's Best Exercise Machine
We've seen incarnations of the treadmill-cycle in the past, but this one really takes the cake. Mostly because you can run on that mother tandem. And there's nothing cooler than running on a treadmill with wheels directly behind another guy running on the same treadmill with wheels. Seriously, If this thing was any more awesome I'd sell my comic book collection just to invest in the company. But since it's not, I'm going to rob a liquor store. Party at my place later!*
*Guys must bring two girls for admittance. And no ugly ones!
The Most Pointless Exercise Machine of All Time [current]
Thanks to Karilyn and Michael, who both agree I look sexy as hell in my short running shorts.
Oct 16 2008 Magnet Case Keeps Your iPod Stuck To You, And Also, This Is How You Sell Products
The iStik is a $27 iPod case that has neodymium magnets on its two parts so you can stick it to your bikini or running shorts (one magnetic piece goes on the inside, case goes on the outside). Pretty clever. And also, based purely on the above imagery, I just bought a dozen --and I don't even own an iPod! Now that's how you sell products. Advertisers take note: when in doubt, T&A. A letter, a symbol, and another letter to live by.
Hit the jump for another product shot.
Oct 9 2008 Human Vs. Zombie Tag A Growing Trend On College Campuses, Having Sex Declining
Apparently Human Vs. Zombie Tag (HvZ) is a growing trend on college campuses.
An HvZ game typically involves hundreds of students and runs 24 hours a day for days on end; dwindling numbers of humans try to fend off and outlast growing legions of zombies.
The rules are fundamentally simple: Zombie tags human, human becomes a zombie. Unlike movie zombies, with shambling walks and undead makeup, zombies in the game just wear headbands to distinguish them from armband-wearing humans. And they are free to sprint.
If you're a human, you can "stun" zombies for 15 minutes by hitting them with a Nerf gun or balled up sock (preferably stuffed with pennies). I dunno about all that, but, for the sake of unbiased reporting, I suppose I'll have to play before passing judgment.
UPDATE: I bit some bitch's arm off! Good times!
Hit the jump for a video of a game that actually made me feel embarrassed for the guy talking.
Continue Reading " Human Vs. Zombie Tag A Growing Trend On College Campuses, Having Sex Declining "
Sep 29 2008 Fly High With The Cursor Kite!
Fall is here and you know what that means: kite season. I don't actually know if that's true or not, but I'm saying it is. And this is a kite that looks like a cursor. Most importantly, do you see that chick? I'd click it.
Cursor Kite for the geekiest [slipperybrick]
Thanks to high-flying Azghul, who Benjamin Franklin totally stole that key on a kite thing from.
Jul 11 2008 Cardboard Toilet Is Obviously Questionable
The Shit Box is a cardboard toilet made specifically for outdoor use. But, if your water gets cut off because you didn't pay the bill, I can vouch it works inside as well. It costs about $31, which the company claims is "an honest price", and is obviously a bold-faced lie. I mean, it's a cardboard box that comes with "10 degradable poo bags (you worthless damn poo bags you, you'll never amount to anything!)". To its credit though, the unit doubles as a stool if you're comfortable hovering over a bag of shit with nothing between you and it but a cardboard lid. Oh, and the name has got to go. Shit box is already what you call an old, crappy car or some idiot's pie-hole. Which, in my girlfriend's case, is not just because she's always blathering some nonsense (although she is). You see, she was in this really twisted viral video...
Hit the jump for a couple more graphics explaining how the unit works in case shitting in a cardboard box is beyond you.
Continue Reading " Cardboard Toilet Is Obviously Questionable "
May 15 2008 BBQ Sword Perfect For A Masked Meat Thief
The $30 BBQ Sword is a grilling accessory made to look like a sword. As you can see, it features a nice hilt and the end is pronged so you can stab meat. As an added bonus the cardboard box it comes in has a mask cutout so you can pilfer your neighbor's meat without revealing your identity.
Whether you're prancing around the garden making a total Athos of yourself, flummoxing guests with your frankly ridiculous mask or thrusting away at a regiment of seditious quarterpounders, the BBQ Sword is guaranteed to become your new favorite cooking implement. Most impressive of all we've managed to write (this entire review) without mentioning pork swords. On guard!
I want one. Oh, and what the hell is a pork sword? Is that a slang term for hot dong or cockwurst? Because, if it is, whoever wrote that review is vulgar. Grow up already.
Thanks to Jackie, who apparently works for the company and should send me a free one of these.
May 12 2008 Treadmill Bike Makes My Head Explode
Similar to last week's Naturmobil, the Treadmill Bike is half treadmill, half bicycle, and half ridamndiculous. The logic behind it made my head explode. Now my brain is exposed and one of the cats is licking it. Apparently the bike has been out for awhile, but since I have a penchant for the old, and I don't think it has been posted here before, KA-BOOM!, here it blows. Not much to say except I can't believe that guy is actually wearing a helmet -- the damn thing has a top speed of like 2.5 MPH (and that's if you're running like you want to have a heart attack). Horribly energy inefficient, the bike is also inefficiently priced at about $2,500. But can you really put a price on being the stupidest looking cyclist on the streets? Yes, $2,500.
A video of the bike inaction(!) after the jump.
Apr 23 2008 Bacon Scarf Sadly Tastes Like Fleece
If there's one thing I learned repeatedly while growing up it's that a dog can and will bite your genitals if you have a piece of bacon in your pocket. So how's a boy supposed to get his daily bacon quota without rocking a pork pocket? Simply -- with a bacon scarf. Each is made from 100% recycled bottle fleece and costs $38 (plus $7 shipping). You know, I may get one closer to winter, but it's just now getting warm out so I can't think about scarves right now. But what I can think about are summer dresses. You catch my drift guys?. *wink, wink* You do know what I'm saying, right? Good, now tell me if I should wear my black flats or brown leather pumps with this one.
Thanks to Mallory, who is new to Geekologie, for the tip. Everyone give her a warm welcome -- but stay away from the snacks, those are for after the meeting.
Mar 31 2008 Treepees: Ground-Dwelling Tents Are Lame
Treepees are tents that hang from trees. They kind of remind me of the dangling blue-balls of survival we saw awhile ago. They come in green, brown, or pink and cost $600. You just hang it from a sturdy branch, stake the four corners (if you want), and you're good to go. I want one, because I hate the ground. It's just so...beneath me. All the time. I don't even like touching it. So the treepee is right up my alley. Besides, I've always wanted to know what it's like to be a bear's punching bag. Bring it you sissy-ass grizzly, you hit like a cub!
One more picture of a pink one after the jump.
Continue Reading " Treepees: Ground-Dwelling Tents Are Lame "
Mar 14 2008 Fridge Backpack -- Wait Is That A Thong?
The Boxcooler is a refrigerator in a backpack by designer Sebastian Bertram. It has room for both food and dishes and "thermoelectric Peltier elements replace the traditional “freezer batteries” which defrost after a while. Therefore, the food inside stays fresh and cool for a longer time. They are supplied by a storage cell which can be reloaded inside the car or at home." Sweet, this Sebastian character might be on to something. And by 'on to something' I mean that is totally a thong hanging out in the picture! You marketing people out there could learn a thing or two from Sebastian about how to sell your damn products. And that lesson is this: I'm an ass man.
Backpack fridge with traveller dishes [yankodesign]
Mar 11 2008 Orbit Wheels Are A Fad, Will Fail, I Got Some
Orbit Wheels are wheels that you put your feet through and then skate around sideways. They cost a not-too-bad $145 and mine just arrived. I'm going to take them for a spin and I'll give you the report when I'm back.
UPDATE: They were surprisingly fun. Unfortunately they were also unsurprisingly made fun of. A whole bus of middle-schoolers called me names so mean I can't repeat them here. A high-schooler purposefully tripped me and then tried to burn me with his cigarette. Then when I got home my dad told me I was no son of his and punched me in the eye. Verdict: Crying.
Orbit Wheels are Like Roller Blades, Just Less Fun [gizmodo]
Mar 10 2008 The iStraw Is Horribly Named But Cleans Water As You Drink It So You Won't Get Sick
The iStraw, thanks to special micro-filtration technology, makes drinking water from the toilet safer than ever. Available for $40 from ThinkGeek, the straw can filter about 130 gallons and "reduces up to 99.99999% of all waterborne bacteria." Wow, that's a lot of 9's! You can use it to suck directly from streams and lakes, but brackish and turbid water are highly not recommended. The iStraw looks like a magic wand and makes the perfect addition to an outdoor survival kit. I definitely just ordered a few for myself in case of an emergency. My girlfriend is going to have to take her chances with a regular straw. It's not that I don't love her, it's just that, well, okay maybe I don't. I mean I did spend her birthday at a stripclub. And not the one where she works at either.
Germaphobes Rejoice, The iStraw is Here [albotas]
