Oct 28 2009 Just Ordered Two Cases: Dinosaur Condoms
That's right, dinosaur shaped condoms. Available from Willy Wardrobe (probably NSFW, but also has a bunch of other novelty condoms), each Stegosaurus E-Rex will set you back £2.50 (~$4) and is not recommended for re-use (even though you and I both know you totally will anyway).
A bit of a sexual fossil? Then this dinosaur condom is for you!
Warning: Sold as novelty only. Product may be used during intercourse although there is no guarantee that it will prevent pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases.Also, not responsible for lost spines.
Okay, so I made that last part up. Still, you've got to wonder. WONDER WHY NOBODY WAS MAKING THESE EARLIER! Plus, they like a perfect fit to me. Pfft, don't even act like your penis doesn't have feet too.
Thanks to Starchitect, Ezrail, david, DatsMark, Xavire, Ross, John, sara, Jody and clipper, for knowing me all too well.
Aug 21 2009 Does The Dissolving Bikini Really Work?
This is a teaser trailer for a video demonstrating whether or not the dissolving bikini I posted earlier actually works. SPOILER ALERT: It does. Except it's way freaking lame and the whole bikini doesn't actually dissolve, just a couple small bands holding it on. Go HERE to see the full video, which is advertised as SFW but I'm pretty sure I saw a nipple at 0:31. Yep, there it is. Also, there's a NSFW version HERE which has a lot more nipples. Which, I think we can all agree, are what Fridays are all about...
...
...
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...to the nudey bar! You're driving.
Video: Clint test de oplosbare bikini [clint]
Thanks to Jef, who makes bikinis disappear the old fashioned way: with x-ray vision.
Jul 17 2009 iBum Chair: Ladies, Please -- Have A Seat
The iBum Chair by Tomomi Sayuda is a photocopier built into a chair. It might just be the best chair ever invented. The question is: do they make an office model? My secretary hopes not.
...chair will automatically photocopy your ass, when you sit this chair. When audience sit down on the chair, a scanner on the top of chair to scan people's buttocks automatically. Then the scanned image is printed out from the right hand side of the chair. A sensor is detecting people's existence all the time. So people will not realize the existence of the scanner. Without notice, the photocopy of the bum will arrive next to the chair.
Certainly brings new meaning to the phrase "casting couch chair", doesn't it? No, I guess it doesn't. You know, that sounded a lot better in my head. Along with your singing. YOU WILL NEVER BE A STAR!
Hit the jump for a video of the chair in action.
Continue Reading " iBum Chair: Ladies, Please -- Have A Seat "
Jun 25 2009 So Handsome: Master Chief's Senior Portraits
This is a little gallery of Master Chief's high school senior portraits. As you will see, he was one dapper young lad. And probably the star of the football team. Which means, more than likely, he dated all the cheerleaders and made fun of people like me. Yeah, Master Chief is a jerk.
Hit the jump to see a few of my favorites, then the link to see them all.
Continue Reading " So Handsome: Master Chief's Senior Portraits "
Jun 15 2009 Tactical Corsets Provide Pew Pew Protection
Tactical Corsets are "high-fashion high-function clothes for empowered women" and are available with or without body armor depending on the level of "action" you see on a day to day basis.
Tactical gear is no longer an all boys club. Tactical Corsets bring female operators MILSPEC features like MOLLE modular pouch attachment webbing and self-adjustable quick-release buckles in a load-bearing carrier designed to support the female form.
Count me in. And by me and I mean you, ladies. Okay, and me. What -- I look good in black! Also, stilettos.
Thanks to Watch-303, who once took out a whole tribe of amazon women but made them all pay for their own dinners.
Jun 12 2009 Weird Gel Remote Lays Limp When Not In Use
This conceptual gel remote from Panasonic lays limp when not in use, pulsating with a soft light. But when its sensors detect a hand coming, it stiffens, ready for action!
Constructed of a soft, flesh-like gel, the remote appears cold when off. Once turned on, however, it seems to come to life. A soft light emanates somewhere from within as the center of the device begins to slowly rise and fall, mimicking the tranquil motions of breath. Left undisturbed, the remote will slumber peacefully. But should a human hand approach, sensors inside alert it to the imminent touch. It stops breathing, grows rigid - the light from within is extinguished.
Wow, congratulations on the world's creepiest remote, Panasonic. Limp when not in use, rigid when you touch it -- doesn't that remind you of something else? No? Me neither.
Strange Gel Remote Concept by Panasonic [cubeme]
Thanks Anothony, but put that away. You can't change the channel with that.
May 7 2009 Good News: Disney Relocates Employees Normally Responsible For Finding And Deleting Boobs In Roller Coaster Pictures
You know how there's a camera that takes a picture of you on the steepest drop of a roller coaster? And then the park tries to peddle said photo after you get off the ride? Yeah, well Disney used to have boob-scanning personnel that would look at all the pictures before they appeared to patrons so no child would catch an eyeful. But now, thanks to the economy, not any more! So get out there and flaunt it! Boobs. I'm talking boobs, not penises.
And, since I love you, I included the NSFW NSFW NSFW uncensored version of the picture above after the jump.
Apr 16 2009 AT-AT X-Ray Reveals Shocking Interior
THEY'RE DINOSAURS! No wonder I was always so drawn to the lumbering giants so much. Admit it -- I'm not the only one who's lighted his saber during the Hoth battle scene, right? Right?
AT-AT Walker X-Rayed: It's a Dinosaur! [gizmodo]
Feb 12 2009 Donkey Kong T-Shirt Turns Man Into Ape
Ever wanted to pretend you were an ape? Well you don't need a novelty t-shirt. You just crouch down real low and drag your knuckles on the ground and grunt a whole bunch. That's what I do, and I, my friends, was a gorilla for Halloween one year. The defense rests. Anyway, for a spine-tingling $28 you can get this (probably unlicensed) Donkey Kong t-shirt. And speaking of Donkey Kong, the snow levels in Donkey Kong Country -- ugh! I threw my controller at the TV not once, not twice, but twenty-thrice. SCREW YOU, STUPID SPINNING LAUNCH BARRELS! And, while I'm at it, suck it Zelda II! Wait, was that....blasphemous? Oh my God, what have I done?
Thanks to Russell, who needs no excuse to hurl barrels at unsuspecting plumbers.
