Sep 4 2009 Oldschool Flavor: Epic Farm In Farmville
I don't play Farmville because I don't have time (also, for those of you that do play on Facebook -- I'm tired of getting updates every time your cow gives birth). But if I did you better believe this is what my farm would look like (higher res version HERE). Except Kid Icarus would be there banging Samus in a cornfield. Say metroid! Say it!
Thanks to Victoria, who has a green thumb and could grow the eyes off a potato.
Sep 1 2009 I LIKE BIG LETTERS: WOMAN FIRED FOR USING CAPS IN A COMPANY EMAIL
Yelling, as you may well know, is a great way to get your point across. And capitalization is yelling's written equivalent. Don't believe me? LET'S TAKE THIS OUTSIDE!
An accountant in NZ has been awarded $17,000 NZD for unfair dismissal after her boss fired her without warning for using uppercase letters in a single email to co-workers. The email, which advises her team how to fill out staff claim forms, specifies a time and date highlighted in bold red, and a sentence written in capitals and highlighted in bold blue. It reads: 'To ensure your staff claim is processed and paid, please do follow the below checklist.' Her boss deemed the capital letters too confrontational for her co-workers to read after they woke up from naptime.
I love capital letters. I don't want to marry them or anything, but I would go out on a couple dates and maybe slip a big W the tongue. Don't judge me -- I'LL TELL EVERYONE YOU BANG NUMBERS AND SYMBOLS!
Woman Fired For Using Uppercase In Email [slashdot]
Thanks to Jen, who once popped a caps lock in some bitch's ass for frontin'.
May 27 2009 What, No D20?: The Dice Rolling Machine
The Dice-O-Matic is used to roll dice for online games hosted by GamesByEmail so that there are actually physical dice being used instead of a program. The 7 foot tall, 104 pound machine produces over 1.3 million die rolls a day, about 80,000 of which are used for games. The rest are all in vain. And speaking of in vein: alcohol, that's where it belongs.
Industrial Dice Rolling Machine [ohgizmo]
Oct 23 2008 Man Divorces Woman's Avatar In Online World, Woman 'Kills' Man's Character
Jesus, women. Am I right? Am I left? I am left. Some guy divorced his online wife's avatar in "Maple Story", a Korean virtual world similar (but not really) to "Second Life", and she, in her resulting anger, killed his character.
A 43-year-old Japanese piano teacher's sudden divorce from her online husband in a virtual game world made her so angry that she logged on and killed his digital persona, police said Thursday.
The woman used login information she got from the 33-year-old office worker when their characters were happily married, and killed the character. The man complained to police when he discovered that his beloved online avatar was dead.
Guy was so broken up about his dead character he called the police and had the woman arrested.
She was charged with illegal access onto a computer and manipulating electronic data, police said. If convicted, she could face a prison term of up to five years or a fine up to $5,000.
This just goes to show you: people are crazy. Especially women. Can I get an amen? "AMEN!" Thank you, bitter divorcee. Say, this reminds me of a funny ex-wife story -- she's a freaking bitch!
Angry online divorcee 'kills' virtual ex-hubby [msnbc]
Thanks to Heather and Anthony, who do all of their living in the real world.
Aug 6 2008 Star Trek Online Going Online, Sometime
Star Trek Online is going to be unveiled in a little over four days at the Star Trek Convention in Las Vegas (August 10th). Leonard Nimoy is set to make the announcement and show some actual gameplay footage. In case you were wondering, it's going to be a MMORPGLOLROTFLMFAO that takes place in the Star Trek universe. For those of you too lazy to go to the website:
Become part of Star Trek®: The Star Trek universe will appear for the first time in a massively multiplayer online game. Everything from the elegant domes of Starfleet Academy to the ancient temples of Vulcan, from the towers of Qo'noS to the Fire Caves of Bajor, from the mysterious Mutara Nebula to the unexplored voids of deep space, all will be represented in stunning 3-D graphics. Immerse yourself in the future of the Trek universe as it moves into the 25th century: a time of shifting alliances and new discoveries.
Adventure in the Final Frontier: Explore strange new worlds, seek out new life and new civilizations in an expanding vast universe. Make contact with alien races, discover resources and uncover mysteries that will change the future of the Star Trek universe.
You Are the Captain: Command your own starship as a Federation Captain or a Klingon Warrior. Outfit it with the systems that you need to make your mark in the galaxy. Customize your ship as you see fit. Recruit, train and mold your crew into an elite force for exploration and combat.
Boy am I excited. But truthfully, there's still only one way to play Star Trek, and that's dressed in a Starfleet jumpsuit you made out of your old highschool track uniform while sitting in a cardboard Enterprise. Want to play? Good, I'll be Geordi La Forge. Okay, now where the hell is my VISOR? Oh, great. Godammit woman, I told you that is NOT your hairband anymore, that's my freaking VISOR! I need it to see.
Star Trek Online
Thanks Zakkmiester, live long and prosper. And also, ass. Get a lot of ass.
Jul 28 2008 Wait, What?: 25 Gesture Rock-Paper-Scissors
PRS 25 is rock-paper-scissors with 25 different gestures, also known as rock, paper, scissors, gun, dynamite, nuke, devil, laser, alien, moon, snake, sponge, cardboard, spoon, candle, dragon, geekologie writer, bowl, water, magic, dagger, tank, air, something, nachos, leopard, something, etc.. If 25 gestures is too many for you, there is also standard rock-paper-scissors and 5, 7, 9, 11, and 15 gesture varieties (and a mind-boggling 101-gesture version HERE). I like some of the explanations for why one particular sign beats another. Like, "Rock crushes woman", "Monkey flings poop at woman", and "Woman has sex with dragon". Okay, I made that last one up, but I did see it in a movie once. And that movie, my friends, was Harry Potter.
RPS-25 [newgrounds]
Thanks SomeGeek, you beat me again.
Jun 6 2008 Online Service Sends Emails To Nonbelieving Friends/Family Left Behind After The "Rapture"
Youvebeenleftbehind.com is an online service that will send emails (assuming computers still work) to as many as 62 nonbelieving friends/family after you, the good Christian, have been conveniently relocated to heaven during the "Rapture".
We have set up a system to send documents by email, to the addresses you provide, 6 days after the "Rapture" of the Church. This occurs when 3 of our 5 Christian team members scattered around the U.S fail to log in over a 3 day period. Another 3 days are given to fail safe any false triggering of the system.
Interesting. The service costs $40 a year and I just signed up. Of course, I'm only sending a single email:
Future Me,
Surprise, surprise -- you didn't make the cut. Now you're f***ed.
Website Lets You Send A Post-Rapture Email To Friends 'Left Behind' [wired]
Thanks to Sam for reminding me there are more apocalypses to worry about than just robot/zombie ones
Mar 21 2008 New Sony Computers Come With Option For No Extra Garbage Installed, Charge You For It
Sony has a new product option available when you buy a laptop from them online. It's called Fresh Start, and it's not so much a product as a lack of products. Namely all the useless crap programs that typically come installed on a new computer. And it only costs $50! That's right, the Fresh Start option will "free up valuable hard drive space and conserve memory and processing power while maximizing overall system performance right from the start." Wow, Sony, wow. I understand you get paid by all the vendors to include their stupid trialware, but this is a dick move. But since I'm such a nice guy, I'd like to offer you a little deal of my own. It's called the Geekologie writer's New Beginnings option of nut kicking. I'll be running a special when I show up at corporate early next week. Everyone is still getting kicked in the sack, but for $50 I'll wear a flip-flop instead of a combat boot.
UPDATE: Apparently Sony caught wind of my upcoming visit and decided to drop the $50 charge starting tomorrow.
Lame: Sony Charging $50 NOT To Put Crapware On Your New Laptop [ohgizmo]
