Aug 13 2008 Is This A Chupacabra? (Hint: Probably Not)

A Texas cop was on a routine fence inspection drive (WTF?) when he found a strange creature running in the road. He claimed it was hairless, had long back legs, short front legs, and a massive snout. So he started filming it with the car's camera. Hit the jump to see the video and hear an interview with the cop. So, what do you think, is it a chupacabra? No, it's not. How do I know? Simple. 1. The chupacabra is a creature of the night, they don't wake up from their daytime siesta until after nightfall. 2. It's nothing like what I imagined it should look like. Chupacabras should be half human, half lizard -- that would be freaking sweet. This thing is the bastard child of a coyote that stuck it to your neighbor's dog. Lastly, and perhaps most importantly 3. Is it sucking a goat's teet? I see no goat, I see no teet, I can't see my dick past my beer bellly anymore, and I see no chupacabra. *slams case closed for emphasis* Suck it, Matlock!

Hit it for the video.

Continue Reading " Is This A Chupacabra? (Hint: Probably Not) "

Jul 30 2008 Officer Brutally Rams Cycler From Bike

Remember Officer Rivieri? Good. Well, during the New York Critical Mass bike ride (a monthly protest against motor vehicle reliance) some other officer of the law decided to show the crowd how he feels about our reliance on motor vehicles. Apparently he freaking loves it, at least enough to running body slam some guy off his bicycle (VIDEO AFTER THE JUMP!). The cop has since had his badge and gun yanked while the incident is being investigated.

The video, posted anonymously, shows the officer standing in the street as bikes whiz past. He moves toward a cyclist and violently knocks him to the ground in front of crowds of people. The biker, Christopher Long, of Hoboken, N.J., was arrested because he was obstructing traffic in the heart of Times Square, a criminal complaint said. He was charged with attempted assault, resisting arrest and disorderly conduct.

The complaint said Long, 29, deliberately steered his bicycle into the officer, causing both of them to fall to the ground.

During his arrest, Long squirmed and kicked, saying to the officers, "You are pawns in the game. I'm gonna have your job," the complaint said.

Okay, it definitely didn't look deliberate on the part of the biker. That cop wanted to see dude's head splatter. And why on earth Long would tell the cops they're "pawns in the game" during his arrest, well, that's just not smart. They're at least the little castles.

Hit the jump for the video. It's worth a look.

Continue Reading " Officer Brutally Rams Cycler From Bike "

Jun 12 2008 Wrong, Just Plain Wrong: Goldfish Keychains

Vendors in Qingdao, China are selling these sealed keychains with a (temporarily) live goldfish inside. It's just plain wrong and makes me want to punch someone in their freaking head.

The fish would survive just a few hours, and would be lucky to make it from the manufacturers to the point of sale. We are shocked and appalled. It is a gimmick and shows no respect for the animals at all.

Jesus, if there's one thing I hate in the world it's animal abusers and pederasts. And whoever is behind this scheme is clearly both. Are there any Geekologie operatives functioning in Qingdao? If so, report back and we'll develop a course of action -- kick assction.

Goldfish Keyring With Live Goldfish [weirdasianews]

Thanks to Melissa and Allyson, who are as upset as I am about this.

Jun 3 2008 All For The Love Of The Game: Inside The Basement Lair Of One Of The World's Most Hardcore (And Likely Neglected) Gamers

And I thought the shed I grew up in had poor living conditions. This just goes to show that you should never take anything for granted. This poor bastard is clearly locked in a basement, lives entirely on canned Coke and pot pies, pees in empty one-gallon water jugs, shits in an oversized litter box, thinks he looked handsome in his senior yearbook photo, has parents that steal power (along with gas, water, and whatever the hell else is coming in that wall) from the neighbors, only has a Gamecube, performs emergency medical procedures on himself with nothing but a pair of needle-nose pliers, sleeps with no covers on a towel bed, and really thinks rape sux. Holy shit.

Hardcore Gamer Defined? [albotas]