Nov 2 2009 iPhone Fan Makes Anti-Droid Commercial
If you watch television you've probably seen the anti-iPhone Droid commercial that Verizon is running (if you haven't, watch it after the jump first). Well this is an anti-Droid commercial in the same style, created by a crazed iPhone fan that doesn't like it when people bad-talk his girlfriend. TOO BAD THE HUSSY DROPS MY CALLS ALL THE TIME. Ooooh, burn!
Hit the jump for the original commercial.
Oct 22 2009 Retractable Speed Bump Awards Slow Drivers
The Intelligent Bump is a speed bump that lowers itself if a driver is under a predetermined speed. It has no effect on me though because I drive a hovercar from the future.
Dubbed the Intelligent Bump, this clever system by Mexico-based Decano Industries actually retracts if you're "going slow enough", rewarding cautious drivers. These bumps are priced at an affordable $1,500 each.
"The system uses metal plates that measure the force of an impact against them. Cars going slow enough will cause the plates to lower, though any faster and the speed bump will remain where it is."
Listen, I hate speed bumps as much as the next person, but if I find out my state government is blowing $1,500 a pop for the things I'm gonna stop paying taxes. And by stop I mean never start. I'm flying under the radar, whee! Oh -- now I'm barnstorming! NNNNNNEEEEEAAAROOOOOOOM.
Hit the jump to see an animation of the bump in action that may or may not have contracted out to a kindergarten art class.
Continue Reading " Retractable Speed Bump Awards Slow Drivers "
Oct 16 2009 Map Shows All Flights Over North America
This is a screenshot from the National Air Traffic Controllers Association (an organization that knows how to party) real-time map of flights over North America. Except it's not actually real-time, it's delayed 5 minutes. Of course, judging from the 2005 copyright in the lower left this may have existed for awhile. But what it lacks in newness I think we can all agree is more than made up for in, uh, little white dots. Don't let Pac-Man see it!
Flight Explorer [natca]
Thanks to e, who's contemplating flying south for the winter. Smart -- I don't jive with the cold either.
Oct 16 2009 Okaaaay: Children's Giant Gaping Jaws Shirts
These are two $25 hoodies designed by Mouthman that, when a child crosses their arms, appear as though they're going to eat you. Now I know that one's a dinosaur, but rest assured I would never make out with a child's elbows. Seriously. You know, that pose reminds me of middle school when you'd wrap your arms around yourself like that and pretend you were making out with someone against a bank of lockers. Except it was just you, and the other kids would start laughing. But not with you, AT you. And then the tears would start to fall. I just wanted to fit in so bad!
Mouthman Hoodies (with a whole bunch of other designs)
via
Huge fanged mouth hoodies [boingboing]
Thanks to b00m, Peter and Aubrey, who don't wear hoodies because they mess up their beautiful manes. RAWR!
Oct 15 2009 *Sniff* A Street Fighter 4 Love Song
This is a Street Fighter love song. It made me sad, especially after reading about missing balloon boy (who better just be hiding under a neighbor's porch). Anyway, it may not be as good as the Mario Kart love song, but it still got to me. And by got to me I mean I wept like a baby chopped down a sequoia with my bare hands and had sex with ten alligators. Excuse me, crocodiles. And there were twelve.
Hadouken: The Street Fighter 4 Love Song [techeblog]
Thanks to naas, who knows how to throw hadoukens in different colors because he practices black magic.
Oct 15 2009 Didn't Need To See That: Hello Kitty Anatomy
Ever wonder what was inside Hello Kitty? Me neither, I just assumed it was hairballs and maybe one of those toy mice. Boy was I wrong -- apparently she has guts. Aaaaaah I just want to lick them!
As part of the Dr. Romanelli x Hello Kitty collaboration we see the release of the "Anatomy" toys. The toy comes in two colorways and features a true Dr. design, revealing the inner organs of the iconic character. The toys have been produced by Medicom Toy.
Wow, so it's a real toy. That's cool. I guess you have to teach your kids about anatomy somehow. And no, NOT BY LETTING THEM SHOWER WITH YOU. Also, I like the Band-Aids on Hello's heart, I thought that was a nice touch. TELL ME WHO HURT YOU, KITTY, I'LL KILL THEM! Also, I'm no vet but you might not what that turd floating so close to your vital organs.
Hit the jump for the other color and a shot of the two models together.
Continue Reading " Didn't Need To See That: Hello Kitty Anatomy "
Oct 7 2009 Oldschool Destruction: Rampage In Real Life
This is a video of the oldschool classic Rampage in real life, brought to you by the same angry bald man that produced the real life Paperboy (but not the movie). I chuckled. But I did NOT upchuck, even though I did two nights ago. That was the night I walked into the restroom at a bar and caught a guy standing at the pisser trying to blow a snot rocket on the wall above the urinal. So you know what I did? I waited till he was done pissing THEN WHIPPED HIS MONKEY ASS. Being gross: don't do it around me.
Sep 28 2009 Stop Smoking The Pew Way: Laser Cessation
Apparently laser therapy has been in practice for awhile, but did you know it could help you stop smoking? I didn't. I'm gonna put the pole down forever! Kidding -- I can't quit you!
* We highly recommend you stop smoking 1-hour prior to your session. (Not required)* Therapy will take place with a laser technician who will gently stimulate acupuncture points, primarily on the hands, face and ear.
* During the session the emotional and psychological aspects of quitting smoking will be addressed.
* During and after treatment you'll feel relaxed, comfortable and peaceful. There is no pain associated with the treatment.
* Afterwards you'll be able to go back to your normal activities. Most notable effects occur between 18-24 hours after the treatment.
* In general, it takes the average smoker 3-4 days to rid the body of nicotine or its by-products after stopping.
So basically it's acupuncture with a laserbeam. Sounds kind of suspect to me. But who knows, maybe it works. Anybody quit smoking something (anything -- I don't care what) this way? Also, what the hell's about to happen in that picture -- butthurt smoking cessation? Cause that sounds promising.
Thanks to Trevor, who actually smokes laserbeams because he's that hardcore.
Sep 24 2009 Pop Art Paintball: Marilyn In A Minute
Sure this might not be as impressive as creating a paintball Mona Lisa in a split-second, but it's still pretty neat (skip to 0:40 for the action). And speaking of neat, it's the only way I drink my bourbon. I don't need your newfangled ice!
Thanks to Rodrigo, who once paintballed his way out of a wet paper bag. But you had scissors in your hands, bro! You could have saved the ammo. You'll never survive the zombie apocalypse!
Sep 23 2009 Sure, Why Not?: Neon Tetris On Skateboards
This is a video of 36 skateboarders playing a game of human Tetris on some hill in San Francisco while wearing giant neon shapes on their heads. Except it's not actually Tetris because not all of them are rocking tetrominoes. No, some of those mothers got damn pentominos on their heads. And I'm not talking the little red bits in olives! But, damnit, now I want olives. Shit, and some artichoke hearts. Fun fact: Jesus once turned an olive branch into a magic wand and banished hate from an evil sorcerer's heart. Then he did the water into wine thing and everybody had a good time. Plus, there was live music. You can't beat that.
Thanks to Duncan, who once tried playing Frogger on a skateboard and lost.
Sep 10 2009 Are We Having Fun Yet?: New iPod Nano Shoots Video, Voice Records, FM Radios
Apple just released an updated iPod Nano which features a bigger screen, 640 x 480 video recording, voice recording, and FM radio capabilities. As usual, they come in all sorts of fun colors so you can match your media player to your eyes (Chinese girls do not come with green eyes -- anybody?!). 8 giggers cost $150 and 16 bangers $180. Is it worth an extra $30 to double your storage? You be the judge. I'll play the bailiff! Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth? Good, now where were you last night around 10PM? Because I was peeking in your bedroom window but you weren't theeeeere!
Thanks to Kamaren, smith and Todd, who still carry record players BECAUSE THEY'RE OLDSCHOOL LIKE THAT. I swear, you guys are so fresh.
Sep 10 2009 New Bouncy Feature In Ninja Gaiden Σ II
Apparently by shaking your PS3 controller while playing the upcoming Ninja Gaiden Sigma II you can make your characters boobs bounce around all crazylike (which helps explains THIS advertisement). Also, I'm more than a little disappointed we didn't have this feature for the original NES. I'm looking at you, Princess Toadstool circa Super Mario 2. You too, Mario.
See Ninja Gaiden Sigma II Boob Bouncing In Action [kotaku]
Thanks to Pedro, who makes boobs bounce the old fashioned way: with a Ping Pong paddle.
Sep 4 2009 Looks Breakable: New PS4 Concept Art
From Tai Chiem, the same designer who conceptualized last week's XBox 720 comes this PS4. And here I've been thinking it was a baseball cap glued to a coffee table. Silly me.
As the designer expects, the Playstation 4 will sport a high end touch screen rather than glossy body that the current generation gaming console sports. The CD ROM has a sexy placement and a gloss cover that can be customized would definitely be an added advantage, what say? Even the PS4 controllers are designed to perfectly match with the console and will sport a few touch screen options. From the images given, it seems that the gen next Play station will also have an embedded OLED screen, which makes this Playstation 4 game console here twice as cool as expected, right?
What's up with making everything out of glass? I've got news for you designers -- GLASS ISN'T FUTURISTIC. Self-powered rocket ships, those are futuristic. Glass is oldschool. As a matter of fact, one time I saw a glass bottle from the 1970's. That's before I was even born!
Hit the jump for several other renderings.
Aug 28 2009 Future Farming: Giant Fish-Filled Ocean Balls
According to experts at National Geographic, the future of fish farming (aquaculture) may rely on giant, fish-filled balls floating around in the ocean.
...[A]utomated cages could herald an entirely new form of fish farming.
They might be turned loose to mimic natural systems by following carefully chosen ocean currents. The robotic fish farms could help lead to larger, healthier crops of farmed fish far from crowded coastal areas, where farmed fish both suffer from poor water quality and, by producing waste, add to water woes.Cages might even generate their own electricity by harnessing solar energy, wave energy, or other forms of renewable power.
This reminds me of middle school. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? You are if you answered "cafeteria fish sticks"! Loved those sticks. One time I even had a fish rock! I chipped a tooth and lost it in my corn. Chocolate milk, whee!!!
The Future of Fish Farming Is Giant Autonomous Roaming Robotic Cages [eatmedaily]
Thanks to Resa, who fishes the old fashioned way: with her bare hands (and dynamite).
Aug 26 2009 Smoke Bud: Another Hacked Roadsign
Another day, another hacked roadsign, this time in Raleigh, NC outside North Carolina State University. Honestly, I have no idea what this bud is of which the sign speaks (you hear that, mom -- no idea!), but if it's anything like banana peels and grape leaves, you count me in. Whee, I see stars! I mean it -- I'm passing out somebody catch me.
Tampered sign promotes pot [abc]
Thanks to Milkman, who better stop using the backdoor.
Aug 25 2009 For Your Car: Web Programming Stickers
Want to let commuters know what you're favorite web programming language is? Well now you can thanks to this 5-pack of CODE Stickers by John Freeborn. $5 takes home all five and I think they're worlds better than the stupid Outer Banks (OBX) stickers I see around here. So you like the beach, WHO DOESN'T? I mean, besides redheads and vampires.
web coder bumper stickers: honk if you love to write code! [technabob]
Aug 25 2009 Don't Smoke It!: Lighter Looks Like Cigarette
This $1.50 lighter from DealExtreme is in form factor of a regular sized cigarette and can set stuff on fire. Including, but limited to: cigarettes, spliffs, joints, hair, your sister's Barbies, cologne, fireworks and witches. I jest, there's no such thing as witches. Isn't that right, sorceress? Also, is it true what they say about a sorceress's nipples -- they can shoot flames?
Cigarette-shaped lighter blends in with its surroundings [dvice]
Aug 24 2009 Finally!: Heart And Star Shaped Cucumbers
In Japan's unending quest to grow edibles shaped like other things comes these heart and star shaped cucumbers.
These cucumbers represent the cumulative efforts of an agricultural coop determined to make food preparation a little bit more exciting. Comprised of nine women in Chiba, a suburb of Tokyo, this grass roots organization cleverly uses plastic molds affixed to the stem of the plant, with which they can create heart and star shapes when the cucumber is sliced cross-wise.
These romantic cucumbers are selling at fancy supermarkets in Tokyo and as specially ordered wedding gifts at ceremonies throughout Japan. They cost 300 yen each (about $2.50).
Nice try, growers, but Lucky Charms has been growing marshmallows in different shapes for years. Anybody ever picked through a whole box to make a bowl of nothing but marshmallows? Well I hope you washed your hands first.
Hit the jump for what the vegetables look like ON A SALAD.
Continue Reading " Finally!: Heart And Star Shaped Cucumbers "
Aug 23 2009 Video: The New Super Mario Brothers For Wii
This is a video preview of the new Super Mario Bros. coming out for the Wii. It looks promising and I really like how it's a nice throwback to the original. So you know what that means -- I'm gonna beat my brother in the head with the controller if his turn takes too long! (Frank, buy a helmet)
Thanks to Jason and nommer, who have never assaulted a family member over a video game. YET.
Aug 23 2009 They're Coming: Space Invaders Lamp Shade
This Space Invaders lamp shade is available from meninos in both ceiling and table varieties for 60 bones. Each side of the cube features a different invader from the game and is sure to scare the crap out of you on your way to the kitchen in the middle of the night. Just sayin', I used to have a Frogger lamp in the dining room and some of the shit on the walls is so high I can't even reach it. Dinner anyone?
Product Site
Thanks to Tizer, who knows the only acceptable lamp shade comes in dinosaur form.
